Iwan's Weightloss Journal

Yesterday was a long hard day filled with grief and way too much food. When you have a community potluck everybody brings traditional foods and none of them are low fat...lol. So, I'm back to two shakes a day and a sensible meal with lots of vitamins and water again this morning till I get myself back on track.
Lately I've found myself resenting things like my job and my other responsibilities because they are always getting in the way of finding time to excersize and eat healthy. Most of the time I'm going from bed to work to bed, getting in some walking between my house and my office most days but now the weather is turning to winter, the rain is blowing sideways on 40+ mile an hour winds and I can see that my weightloss is going to be nearly impossible to maintain throughout the winter months unless I drop down to about 1000 cals a day.
Pretty soon its going to be dark here all but 6 hours a day and that always leads to depression. And then theres the holidays with my family. Between 60+ people we celebrate three different winter holidays: Yule, Christmas and Russian Christmas, and in between christmas and russian christmas (which is a THREE DAY CELEBRATION) new years which is a huge deal in my family because everybody tends to be born on new years, we have 4 new years babies in the family.
I can only thank my lucky stars that we don't celebrate thanksgiving in my family. We are native american, celebrating thanksgiving would be like being happy our people were exterminated from the land. When I was a little kid my mom took thanksgiving very seriously and we fasted in protest, wore black armbands and once she picketted a community sponsored thanksgiving dinner because she felt that her tax dollars shouldn't go to celebrate something so depraved. Now we just ignore it and personally I think those that sit down and celebrate it, and are thankful for what the colonialists did to the native americans are ignorant to the real suffering that went on. I mean really, what do we have to be thankful for when you think about it all in those terms. I especially feel very not thankful when I fly into major american cities and try and imagine what it would be like without all the garbage, buildings, roads, pollution and people. Theres really nothing to be thankful for when you think about it like that.
 
Aww don't feel bad about eating so much - you get a free pass for the day because it was a day of mourning.

I'm with you on the thanksgiving thing - I really am. After reading about the trail of tears and small pox blankets and a bunch of other horrible things that 'my people' did I protested 3 years in a row, stayed home with my can of chunky soup, refused to help cook and just watched 24 hours of 'A Christmas Story' on TNT... but then i realized that it was just hurting my family. Grew up a little, now I help out and participate but I usually can't eat much because I think of all the bad stuff.

And don't get me started on Christmas - hate the holiday!!! Capitalism has taken it over but if I voice my irritation with it then I'm labeled an effin "Grinch" :mad: !! *grumbles under breath*

ANYWAY!! lol.. I can't even imagine 18 hours of dark and such extreme weather. I think I'd go a bit loony. Run the numbers on Spark - I think 5' 6" with a sedentary lifestyle is still 1400 calories. Hang in there Iwan!! :D:D
 
Has anyone else been following the post secret blog. I read it every sunday, makes me feel a little less weird. Heres the link:
Me and my son celebrate Yule, feels a little more family oriented and real to me then buying a bunch of crap cooking a big dinner and calling it "special". We make our gifts that we give to our family and expect the same from them (although they don't always comply...).
Last night I went out to dinner with my family again, this time for grandpa's 80th birthday. The big 8-0. We had chinese, and sushi. My family is huge, the restaurant we went to was running crazy when we arrived and then till we left. There were about 40 ppl there...lol. My aunt called and warned them, but they didn't believe her. We literally took up every seat in the place. I had a california roll, don't know the calorie count on that but I know I wasn't over because I had had two shakes up to that point and about a gallon of water. My son ate like a pig. He had so much food I couldn't believe it, where did he put it all? And then he woke up at 6am and was hungry. *rolls eyes*
My mom said the only nice thing to me since I was a kid last night, "Don't worry about gaining weight back, you can shovel snow in the freezing cold in a bathing suit to burn calories this winter."
 
My mom said the only nice thing to me since I was a kid last night, "Don't worry about gaining weight back, you can shovel snow in the freezing cold in a bathing suit to burn calories this winter."

Ahem...

Did you say what she could do in the freezing snow this winter?

Grrrr...that was the NICE thing she said?

I'm really no one to talk - I have NO family left except Bob, Megan, my M-I-L and a father and 2 brothers I don't speak to hardly, so maybe it's just ME and my way of dealing with people who sling crap for words.

All that said, maybe I read it wrong and she was just trying to be humorous?
 
Ahem...

Did you say what she could do in the freezing snow this winter?

Grrrr...that was the NICE thing she said?

You read it correctly, that was her pretending to be nice and supportive while maintaining her critical and conceited demenor. Really, I think she was just belittling me in front of our family to make herself feel better. That is the story of my life. I don't understand her or why she treats me like that because she treats my brother and sister like they can do no wrong, their poo don't stink and they have a big pedistal for her to worship them on. I stopped trying to understand her and love her along time ago. Now she's just someone in my life like everyone else, I can take her or leave her and she only has herself to blame for me having those feelings.
Now I need some pie.
 
Hi! I just got back from a wedding and wanted to check on you! I'm sorry your mom treats you that way. I don't understand that, although I have seen it before in my relatives. Not the immediate, though. I'm glad you seam to coping weel and treat your son better than that!
 
Hello IWAN,
thank you bunches for stopping by and visiting me,it means
alot! family woes I see it will get better.Have a gr8 Monday Tammy
 
Howdy I, Just stoppin in to say Hi!... you're mom sounds like a real charmer!! Maybe she and my mom should have lunch!! :D:D
 
Howdy I, Just stoppin in to say Hi!... you're mom sounds like a real charmer!! Maybe she and my mom should have lunch!!

err, I wouldn't want to subject your poor mother to her. I should hire an exercist to deal with this situation...okay, I may be being a bit dramatic.

I had portabello mushroom pizza tonight. I'm still basking in the glory of that one. All in all a good day. A total of 1160 cals, much needed after my last couple of days. When I weigh in tomorrow I know I'm going to be very diappointed in myself. For SHAME!

My friend Misha sent me a box of crap. She calls them care packages, but really its her cleaning out her apartment and mailing it to me. Right now I'm watching Queen of the Damned from said box. very bad acting, I have to say...
 
I love Postsecret too! When I'm feeling disconnected with people I go have a look...makes me come out of it and see how we are all so similar - all have issues.

Mmm pizza, I am a little jealous right now!
 
Alright, whats the deal. I stepped on the scale this morning sure that I was in for dissapointment in myself. I put the weights on 218.5, where I was last. thunk, go lower, 217, 216, 215...214.5! I lost 3.5 lbs after all the friggin cheating? I'm so lost. I guess I can call it calorie cycling, but WOW! I am impressed!
On the bad side I wrecked my car today, totaled it. And it was my fault too, I was on the cell, not paying attention and at the bottom of a hill the person in front of me stopped to turn and WHAM, the whole front end of my car is now completely smashed, the hood is accordianed up to the windsheild, which is non existant. The engine practically in my lap. I'm fine, shook up, I was wearing my seat belt and my airbags worked. I'll probably be sore tomorrow though. Thank the Goddess my son wasn't with me, I had just dropped him off at a babysitter. I"m still kinda in shock, I don't have a car anymore.
 
I'm glad no one else was hurt. It took about 45 seconds for me to process what happened and the I was out of my car and running to the other car to make sure nobody was hurt. My brain just clicks into action during moments like that, probably due to all my emergency training.
 
Well, my mechanic called this morning just to tell me what I already know, he's totaled the car for the insurance company. The other car, the one I hit, was a big dodge truck with a pretty solid bumber. It will need an alignment and a new bumper but for the most part is not wrecked. So, the isuzu vs the dodge...dodge wins. Insurance will cover all the damages to the dodge, I've got full coverage, I'll probably be able to get a new car here in a couple of weeks but I'm for sure not getting another isuzu. Maybe I should get a tank....ahhhh, watch out here comes the crazy lady with the tank!! run for your lives!
I had a 1200 calorie day yesterday. I even had real bacon...yumyum!
 
Oh my goodnesss...I'm a little late here, but I'm SO glad you're ok. Sorry about your car, but unlike human life, you can get another one of those. I, too, am glad your son wasn't with you. *Big Hug*
 
Will the insurance cover the cost of replacing your car?

Gads, I'm so glad no one was hurt! and CONGRATULATIONS on the pounds lost! That calorie cycling is GREAT :)
 
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