I think the penny finally dropped...

Just a quick update....

Thanks everybody for stopping by. Hope you all had a great Christmas (or holiday of your choice).
I was down with the flu, now I have Sinusitis, and I don't know which one's worse. So time in front of the computer is pretty limited right now.

I will post more when my head stops feeling as if it is going to explode at any given second.

Luv ya all! ;)
:hug2:
 
Hey San,

Just thought Id stop by and wish you well..hope your feeling better now?

Also, huge congratulations on being more than 1/2 way to your goal!!!

Awesome work!!!!!

:seeya:
 
Thank for stopping by, Phenix and Synyster! And thanks for the congrats as well! :)

Sorry for not having been around much. If the beginning of the year is anything to go by, 2009 is gonna be so bad it's not even funny anymore.

For starters, my husband has decided to pack his job in, and is not making any move to find something new. Because he was the one who quit, we're not getting any money from the unemployemnt people for the next 6 months. I took out a loan to cover the next month, but from there on out, I have no idea. *shrugs* I'm at a point where I just don't care anymore.

Eating wise things have gone right back to where I started - I'm not drinking enough, can't keep water down, have too much coffee and now I have gone from one extreme to the other - I'm not eating enough. I'm just not hungry, in all actual fact, more often than not I'm feeling nauseous after I had some food. I'm not exercising or doing anything, and it makes me feel like cr*p to be honest. I also noticed that healthy food is much more expensive than the calorie-stuffed stuff they sell everywhere...maybe not eating is a good thing, at least when taking the finances into account.

To make everything complete, I've been diagnosed with PCOS, and not only that, when they did an ultrasound, they found two cysts in my ovaries that are so big that they are seriously concerned and want to remove them. I have my appointment to see what they want to do. I would opt for a total hysterectomy, I don't need any of that stuff anymore anyway, I'd rather shoot myself in the head than have any children, and I could do without all the other discomfort connected to it. My mom had trouble with it too, had to take pills all her life and in the end, she had to had everyting removed as well. So why wait? Just get it over and done with. Only downside, that would mean going into hospital in this country, and I found the standards in UK hospitals not much better than some third world countries. It's ridiclous. So....I'd probably chicken out. Well, won't know anything before Friday, so....I'll wait and see.

Anyway, enough whining, I am sure you all have your own problems and don't want to read about mine on top of everything else. I hope everybody is doing well!!! :)

Oh, and sorry about all the challenges I dropped out of. I just don't get a lot of time on the computer, and if I do, I just do the neccessary and then fall into bed. So, sorry again.

Take care everybody, and keep losing (weight that is!), or building muscle, or whatever else it is you'd like to do!
 
Oh, San, that's so horrible. January 2009 just sucked for you. Perhaps we should go by the Chineese New Year. Today is when we say good by to the year of the Rat and hello to the year of the Ox.

Is your ticker up to date? If it is, you are seriously kicking ass on the weight loss. Don't give up. :hug2:
 
Thanks for stopping by, Trops, and thanks for the encouragement. I have no intentions of giving up, even though my weight has stayed the same for the last 3 weeks or so...I really need to get back into things, but I just don't have the energy to do so. My ticker is correct though, yes.

And sounds good, I would gladly scratch the last month, but it doesn't look as if it is going to get any better any time soon, so isn't there anything closer to...uhm...dunno, maybe May or June to start over?
 
Hey just stopping by to say hi!! After reading how busy your life is i wanted to say you are doing an amazing job. How is everything going?


Matt
 
Hey Matt, thanks for stopping by and your kind words. :)

I just realised how much I neglected my journal. Not an entry since January! :(

I really need to update this more often and stick with it!

Anyway, not doing too bad, not too good either. Still pretty busy, and the last few weeks I had a headache that I just can't get rid off. Not sure what's up with it, I'm drinking a lot, eating okay, going outside getting fresh air, yet nothing seems to help. It actually kept me off the eliptical for a few days now, because the headache just went so much worse after being on there that I had to stop after 20 minutes. I felt sick, was shaking and couldn't really see straight afterwards, so I thought it might be better to give it a rest. If it doesn't get better soon, I think a trip to the doc is in order.

Other than that it's just the same old really. Loads to do, not enough hours in the day. The weather has been nice the past two weeks, so I managed to get out and do a bit of walking.

Did I mention we got a new car? That's pretty much the most exciting thing that happened all year. We had one which was constantly breaking down on us, and the repair bills just got too much. We have a scheme over here called 'Motability', and people who are disabled or have a disabled family member are eligible for it. It means that part of the disability living allowance is used to pay for a car, and it comes with everything - insurance, tax, repairs, servicing, roadside assistance and so on. We've got one of those now. The downside is that it will never really be hours, but we get a new one every two years, so I won't complain. If it wasn't for that, we couldn't afford a car at all, and our son would be stuck in the house all day (he won't set foot onto public transport, I tried several times and all the people freak him out, he went into a fit and it took me hours to calm him down completely).

Oh well...so much for that. Weight wise things have slowed down so much that it is getting frustrating. I know I need to start paying more attention to what I eat, not just how many calories, but I always screw it up about half way through the day, not eating fruit and veg, just sandwiches and microwave meals (weight watchers or supermarkets own light brand). They are low in cals, but crap when it comes to what they are actually made from. They're just so bloody easy to make! :(

Enough moaning for one day though....I'll try to update this on a regular basis from now on. There will probably be a lot of babbling and random thoughts, so I apologise for that in advance.

Hope everybody out there is doing well, and thanks for stopping by!
 
Heya San,

Figured i noticed how active you were on the knocking out the spammers I would take the time out to find out more about ya :)
Bugger about the PCOS, but i totally agree with you about chopping the lot out. A friend recently had hers chopped out, she had tried to have kids and put up with it for years prior though so by the time they did it her womb was a mess of cysts that were tied into most of her internal organs. A 3 hour surgery turned into 9 hour life saving and a cancer scare (until they tested what they took out).
The only downside is going through menopause lol :)

The car thing is pretty cool. Over here in NZ we have laws about lotteries. All gambling profits go into a fund which gets distributed to various non-profit organizations. My mum applied to get funding for a car for my sister who has Cerebral Palsy when we were young and they paid for a brand new car with wheel chair rack. The car eventually died however (after 10 years), and my sister left home and moved to switzerland (shes a brainbox and works at CERN). So its excellent that you get a new car every couple of years rather than one of your own. Saves all the hassles we had with it breaking down and dieing etc.

Oh and well done on the excellent weight loss! thats great going! :D
 
I was wondering if you even had a diary. I never saw one for you and to tell the truth I am kind of retarted on how to search on here still. I guess I could actually learn but then it would break my lazy internet spell. So anyway how are you doing? Awesome about the new car. Who cares if its not technically yours. As long as you get control about where it takes you enjoy the ride sista lol yea I don't know where that came from. Anyway I'm gonna head off but I just wanted to say hey and I hope your day is going good.
 
*sigh* I did it again, didn't I? Said I would post more into my diary, then buggered off and didn't write a single line for nearly a month. It's just, every time I want to sit down and write something, something else comes up. Sometimes silly things, sometimes important stuff....I've got the attention span of a fruit fly when it comes to most things.

Sorry! :(

Okay, thanks for everybody who stopped by.

Wishes, I hope I am not annoying you and the other mods too much with my spam hunts....it's one of the things I do mostly in the mornings, while the brat is having breakfast and waiting for the school bus. It's 8 am over here then, which would make it around....uhm....2-ish at night over in the States, depending on where people are. Nobody on the board other than spammers at that time apparently.....*lol*....anyway, it annoys me, so I report it.

Candy, thanks for stopping by. Yeah, I have a diary, but as you can see, I don't maintain it very well. :(

Matt, thanks, hope your weekend was good as well....mine was pretty wet, it's been throwing it down for two days in a row over here....hard to believe we're going towards summer.

So, what's new? Not much in all honesty. I had the flu last week, really, the whole family had it. I was either sneezing or throwing up, so it wasn't too much fun. No exercise either, but I've been slacking in that department anyway recently. :(
I want to go swimming again this week, no matter what. Funnily enough, I've come to enjoy it, a lot. Not so much into the moment when I have to get out though. I feel kinda light while in the water, but the moment I've got to climb that ladder, I can feel every bloody pound I've got on me! Oh well.

Eating is still a problem. Not too much.....no, funnily enough, now it's too little. I'm just not hungry. I don't want to eat. I've been keeping a diary ever since I have started, more or less consistently, and I am down to between 1100 - 1200 calories per day now. I know that's not good, and I know that is why my weightloss is slowing down. It just feels wrong to eat more. I want to up my exercize though, so I'll have to come up with a way to put a few more calories in before I completely mess up my metabolism. Maybe I should just exchange some of my low cal stuff with 'the real thing'...like, proper milk instead of that skim piss (let's face it, skimmed milk doesn't even taste like milk) and real bread instead of my crispbread. Stuff like that. I don't know.

I also tried to figure out my BMR. According to the websites I checked it is either 1900 (which would make my calorie intake ok), 2456, 2621, 2930, and if I go by Steve's formula of 12 cals per lbs, then that puts me at 3108. Please.....why can't things just be easy for once?? *sigh*

Oh well, guess I'm off for another day of fun and games....yeah, right. My kitchen looks like a bomb site, I need to catch up on about 12 hours of exercise, the car needs to be washed, the laundry needs to be ironed, my mother in law is pissed off because I didn't go over there when I was supposed to (temperature of over 102 and worshipping the porcelaine god all day apparently isn't an excuse), and my husband will spend another day pouting and growling if I don't spend all day playing WoW with him. Did I mention that I am about 20 emails to my friends and family behind? ANd that some people are getting seriously pissed off with me for not being on messenger for even a freaking minute? *argh*

Okay.....breathe. Things will be fine. Well, maybe not fine, but they'll get sorted....somehow.

Off to have some crisp bread for breakfast. It's all that is in the freaking house. No money until friday....maybe I can make cat-stew? ;)
 
My first day at the gym today. I can't really afford it, but I don't care anymore. Looking forward to it. Didn't think I would, but I do. Gonna meet my 'personal trainer' today, called Fay. Well...we'll see. I am sure she'll just show me the machines and then leave me to it. But I can always work something out for myself if I have to. Enough information on this board alone to find a beginner's program.

On a not weight loss related note - my bank has decided to charge me £ 160 (around $ 190) for overdrawing my account by roughly 18 quid, for 2 days. Now my money has been paid in (even though I tried to stop it) and they took it all to cover the charges. Which leaves me with nothing for the rest of the month. Went to the bank yesterday, they don't care. Oh well, it's not like eating is a priority for me anyway. And my son and husband are just going to lose some weight in the next 4 weeks, whether they like it or not. *shrug*

I don't have to pay the gym until the beginning of July, so it won't cost anything yet....good thing, because I would have had to listen to that till kingdom come - 'no food in the house but you go to the gym'...blahblahblah.

Can you tell I'm fed up?
 
Okay, I'm back. Had my gym induction, it was okay. The girl was nice, and tried to explain everything properly, not like some gyms where they just say 'The weights are there, treadmill is there, go ahead!'

All the cardio stuff was easy, but as soon as we got to the resistance/strength/weights part, I realised how out of shape I really am. I managed to get everything done, but I could definitely feel it. Next time I go we'll sit down and work out a proper plan, tailored to what my goals are.

I also decided that next year I want to participate in the Race for Life over here. It's a sponsored 5 mile run/walk, and everybody can participate. Any money made goes to Cancer Research. By summer next year I want to be able to actually RUN the 5 miles though. I will also set up a website and try to find some sponsors, and get in touch with the peeps that organise the whole thing, to see if they are interested. Why not combine weight loss with actually doing something good, not only for me, but for others as well? My best friend died in 2005 from skin cancer at the age of 34 (the age I am at now), so it kinda hits a nerve. I feel like I want to do something. I could probably do it this year - I could WALK 5 miles, but I don't want to be the last one to arrive at the goal to be honest.

In other news, I had a chat with my bank, and they don't give a flying f*ck if my family has anything to eat or not. I managed to open a new bank account with a different bank, and they were really nice. So that was good. But when I got out of the bank after basically being told 'We don't care, fuck off', I was actually in tears, which doesn't happen very often. Fortunately it was raining cats and dogs, so nobody really noticed.

I'll go up to the citizen's advice place on tuesday and try to apply for an emergency loan - if you're on benefits and something out of the ordinary happens, leaving you with no money, they can give you a small loan so you at least have enough money to pay for your food, gas, electric etc. So I'll just have to sit there and beg for scraps. Hopefully at least they will help, because otherwise I really don't see how we'll manage to get through this month.

Oh well, all the whining in the world is not gonna change things, so I guess I might just as well shut up. Sorry for the rant....I'm just really, really pissed off, and really, really tired! :(
 
Not sure if anybody's actually reading this, but I'll go ahead regardless.

I realised something today, and I'm surprised at how long it has taken me to get the idea. Stupid, looking back at it, but I guess that's just me.

I always believed that people who post on forums were looking for other people's opinions, even advice. Now, for some that is true, but the majority seems to be here for a different reason - to have their ego stroked. They don't want advice, or exchange opinions, they want somebody to tell them that they are right. And once they find somebody who agrees with them, no matter if what they say makes any sense or not, they find themselves confirmed, and things get even worse.

Now, I usually say what I think. If I think somebody talks nonsense, I will tell them exactly that. I don't comment on things that I don't know anything about, obviously, how would I know that they are wrong if I didn't know anything about the topic at hand? So, I make sure I actually know what's going on. And then comment. And inevitably, people get pissy with me because I don't tell them what they want to hear.

Fine. I get it. From now on, I will just let them get on with it. If they are happy with what they think is right or wrong, who am I to want to reason with them? From now on, no matter what it is, people can take their opinions and do with them whatever they want. I don't care. Sound like idiots if you want to, and recruit an army of idiots, take over the world blaming all your problems on something or somebody else instead of taking responsibility yourself, I DON'T CARE.

Whatever. I'm done caring.
 
I didn't ever realise how difficult it is not to post if you see somebody who is giving sound advice being insulted by somebody. But it doesn't have anything to do with me, so I'm sitting on my hands to keep myself from typing. Because otherwise I'm gonna be the bad one again, and I'm sick of that. So....nope, I'm quiet as a little mouse!
 
I've decided to try something new....I'm upping my calories while slightly upping my exercise as well. Not sure how well it will work since I can't seem to get all my calories in as it is, but I'm gonna give it a try. It never ceases to amaze me that I actually struggle to eat 1500 calories a day....I used to eat between 8 - 10.000 per day at some point in my life, and still look for more. *shakes head*

Anyway, I tried 45 minutes on the eliptical today and managed to make it. So that will be my time for now. 45 minutes, 3 times a day, then 90 minutes on my bike twice a week, plus 1 hour of swimming twice per week. Can't start the gym until next week, but I'm guessing it will be gym twice a week at first, then three times, depending on how it goes.

When I first got the eliptical, I could only do 5 minutes, and even that was totally taking it out of me. Now I do 45 minutes - don't get me wrong, I'm still sweaty and out of breath and everything, but I don't feel as if I am going to have a heart attack at any given point anymore. And I am actually quite enjoying it. Being sweaty and out of breath gives me the feeling that I accomplished something and did something good for myself.

Okay, time for some sleep. Swimming tomorrow!

 
Last edited:
Hello, you're amazing. I really don't have much else to say. You've lost a tremendous amount of weight. You have a terrific level of integrity.

You are welcome, btw, in my journal with your opinions any time you like. I actually like to hear contrary opinions to my own. Especially if they might cary good information. Shockingly enough, sometimes they lead to things like discussions, and even learning... I promise not to get angry if we don't have the same opinion...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top