i just found this and thought it was v funny
Weigh Day Tips
The night before –
• Eat light
• Shower, scrub hard – no dead cells need to be weighted
• Wash hair - dirt weights
• Shave - everything you feel comfortable shaving
• Trim your nails- they can only drag you down
• Remove nail polish – who needs extras on the scale
• Pluck eyebrows – you don’t think hair weights?
• Scrub the scales – you never know something could have spilled and stuck
The morning of –
• Dust the scales – something could have drifted down during the night
• Strip – this should go without saying
• Pee – let’s eliminate anything from the body that is willing to go
• Comb hair – brush away all loose strays
• Remove all jewelry – look good later
• Clean wax from ears – the better to hear your screams, either in joy or agony
• Remove sleep from eyes – can you tell I am getting desperate?
• Blow your nose – no telling what’s up there
• Remove glasses or contacts – you may not want to see what the scales says anyway
• Spit – it’s nearly all you have left
• Take a deep breath, then let it out! – Air has to weigh something
• Pray
i was laughing for ages
