Jess,
Good to hear from you again. I'm not even going to pretend that I have the secret to staying motivated over the long term as I've had many attempts over the years that didn't stick long term, but your story/post really made an impact on my motivation back in June I thought I would try to help you out.
First off, here's something you wrote back in June on this thread......... which is my next mission... toning up and getting more generally fit. So, the first question is, Have you accomplished that mission? If not, was it really a mission, or just a dream? If it was just a dream, you don't have a committment to yourself. If it was really a mission.....do it.
Ask yourself what you wanted when you started your journey. If you said something like, "I want to loose weight and keep it off for a year", then skip the gym. I'm suspecting that you have various aspects of what you used to be that in your head you said, "Never again".....there's only one way to make that happen.
How about setting a goal for yourself to reach by the spring that will involve keeping you in the gym? A certain bench press weight/rep, or a certain number of calories burned in an hour on an eliptical, etc. Just something that is specific, instead of the nebulous, "Oh, I need to go to the gym today".
I really feel indebted to you for the motivation your story gave me back when I was starting. I'm not quite there yet, but have been working like a mad man to show you up as you challenged me to. I've lost 62 pounds, am wearing large shirts (at least some) instead of XXL, have lost 9 inches from my waist, gone from wearing really tight 42 to 36 (which are a bit loose) pants, etc, etc (Iknow you know the story). I owe a bunch of that to your success story.
Maintaining the weight loss long term is the hard part of this battle. Now is when you need to make sure you move forward. If you loose the battle in your head when deciding whether or not to go to the gym, you will eventually end up looking like the old Jess in your before pictures. Maybe not next week, next month, next year, but eventually.
Here's a couple of quotes to contemplate....
If you wish to be a writer, write.
Epictetus
I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.
Pietro Aretino
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.
Aristotle
He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
Confucius
Set yourself a goal, then go do it.
Dave