i can see a rainbow

Jess- "Feel the fear & do it anyway." You are young & it is good to do new things & push yourself a little. How proud will you feel, once you push through that fear. Counting calories is the means to an end. I don't much like doing it either, but it is now habit. Love you sweetie xo
 
just my luck...The night school wanted my school papers from my last school i went to.I went to my old school and unfortunatly the records from 2007 and before where burnt in a fire that happened in2008.SO the very nice teacher that remembered me said he will call me try gothrough the burnt files to see if he can do anything .fno records are found i must go to court with ex classmeates and teachers..................I do think this teacher will give me the approving paper to move on to the next class inthe next scool,even if he doesnt findany records.He does remember me.
It was SO strange walking in there...Last time i wa inthere i was 22 ,single,crazy in love and totaly free.I felt so nice aterwards.I actually did have a past that mattered and people really did remember me and where happy to see me.Even the lady that did reliogion emembered me.After 11 years.
I know it sounds selfish and horrible but after having my boy and getting "married" it just seemed that i lost everything that i was.Like i was /am a shadow.I wouldnt change anything,i just realized that i am not a ghost.Sorry for the blabbing!!!!
Weight now.I was 95,4,probably mentioned it before.dont know.Measurments
Chest 108
waist 94
hips 118

19th of may i had
waist 104cm
hips 124cm
 
Well done sweetie on reducing those measurements. You are not a shadow of your former self. You have evolved into a mature woman. I'm pleased that you are taking on further study. Good for you! xo Cate
 
hey there.i might have not been on here but i am still right on track ,i weighed in today at 94,1.this calorie counting is the only way.i am still not used to it.but i have had my 1st comments on loosing a little. also use mfp.very usefull to take control.
i have many issues,i am trying to deal with,maybe most of things are probably just my imagination but i am really sad these days.i hope i can get through things in one piece.i wasthinking could i be depressed?but i dont feel that all is hopeless,or that i am drowning as i have read.Welli do feel sometimes that icant breath andthat my problems are going to eat me up but i have the power to stop it,I have the powerto shut things out or at leastto notthink ofthem,but definatly something is going on with me....i really cant say what t is. lots of love xxx
 
Hello my lovely :)

Well done you on your weight loss. I'm so so proud of you :hurray:

I now resemble a small hippo. I've gained all the weight I lost and more :( :piggy: But I am here and trying again.

Reading your last post. It sounds like anxiety to me sweetie. I have been to a therapist and she said I had severe depression and moderate/severe anxiety. I knew I was struggling with depression but didn't know that I was suffering with anxiety too, I just thought that was normal lol.
There are books that explain what it is and I found understanding it really helped me deal with it.
Hope that helps :)

Looking forward to us both getting skinny again :)
Xoxo
 
Sounds like anxiety to me too Jess, coming from one who suffers from it. Understanding any of these things is half the step towards overcoming them. Just being aware of it helps & then you can try to do things that will help. Learning to relax is really important. Sounds simple, but, of course, it isn't. Do a search online Jess at ways of overcoming anxiety. There is some great advice there. I just had a quick look. Taking a Magnesium supplement might help & magnesium is not expensive. I must up my intake after looking that up, as I have also been getting the odd cramp lately. Doing some deep breathing, eating really healthily & getting more exercise will help. Sending you lots and lots of love xoxo Cate
 
I feel really miserable about some stuff andsad and angry.i feel really exposed to the outside and the need to "{protect" myself/I think i take things the wrong way many times and also i belive that its me over reacting that has got me this way.I just cant belive that my BF had spoken to her sister about me ,in a way that really hurt me.Things have been said,in a secretive way,i found outand i feel rally sad.I cantspeak to her about this.Plus i am getting information about her husband that appears to constantly cheat on her,and she has no idea......I really am pissed of.
also i am really tired,from our new school program and football schedule.I wake up at 7 am and at 11 , 30 at nght i am beat,no time to everread books.Then betwwen school and his football practices i also get football matches!!!!!
I had stopped going to his practices ,last seasson,sent G.But i am pushing myself to go now every time , cause i dont want to disconect totaly from people.I feel really like i just want to hide away , but im not letting myself do it.I cant be so unsocial anymore...i dont like it but i must try to be more open and more talkative.
Sorry for all this , ll the details.I do think it is anxiety.I ofeten feel my heart beat real fast plusjust trying tospeak about things that are making me like this makes me burst out in tears and i really try tohold it in,dont want G to see me.
I will google around,i will def.look about the magnesium.I want to take some vitamins anyway now,so its a good idea
I am till on track.I did have a bad 3 days in a row,not TERRIBLE but not good either.
I find myself thnking of food a lot lately.I Ate a packed knd of cake thing last night plus half a big portion of jelly....Todayi am fine.I did stay in my calorie range , but felt a bit bad cause of 4 slices of bread so i got on my bike , in the lounge and burnt 500 calories.I am not going to eat them back!
Thank goodness for autosave!!!I just pushed back key!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iamoff to shower now ,thank you you girls foryour concern!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
 
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