Hellooooo, coooooeeeeeeey, its me again
Just read your diary, well done on giving up the evil, evil carbs. They are evil. They must be banned. I have recently got a *thing* for both bread and cheese, I have never craved savory stuff before, I think my taste buds have changed. But, its evil. Evil evil evil, and should be avoided, like all evil things (eg. hitler, justin beiber and lord voldemort).
Anyway, I am cursing you with all my might. Yes, YOU!!! I have come on here just to see how you are doing and comment after seeing Cates post on facebook, but you have got me all inspired again. I was quite happily eating junk until an hour ago, so damn you Jess, damn you haha.
But seriously, I am SO glad to see your back on the diet wagon again
And ohmygod, what better reason to lose weight than for your wedding <3 <3 <3? That will be a great goal to work towards.
I am so sad to hear that things aren't going well for you at the moment. It must be awful that your Mums been diagnosed with dementia, it is one of the worst illnesses, and you will need a lot of strength to get through it. Sending you lots of love. How is your Mum doing?
As for your Dad, I am going to be blunt, and I'm sorry if you don't like it... But he was a total and utter fucker. He USED you, and I do not beleive that he was capable of feeling emotions the way that normal people do. He turned up on your doorstep, invited himself to live in your home after all those years of never ever being in touch, never asking how you were, never showing an interest in his own grandsons life, and expected you to welcome him like some sort of prodgigal father. He didn't listen to a word you sais, even about little things like olive oil in his cooking, he criticised your parenting, and it sounds like his failed 'business deals' have made your life a lot harder than it was than before he came to live with you. He USED you Jess, don't worry about writing him a letter that might offend him, he deserves to be offended. He only cared about himself x You have to let go, write that letter, punch your pillow, its okay to be angry at him, do not worry about being disloyal to his memory, he was disloyal to you, his own daughter and his own blood. You have to let go. Talk to someone about it xxxxxxx
You were the girl who was always smiling, I remember you saying that. You can be that girl again. You have to just let go of the anger. Happiness is a choice. Act happy. Spend a day smiling. Decide to be like your old self. Laugh, hug, smile and dance and make plans. Make this year the best ever. Exercise those smile muscles. Stress causes wrinkles
Be the person you want to be. You can. You can choose right now to be happy, radiate it, infect other people with it, LIVE it.
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xoxoxo
