i can see a rainbow

Been off line for a while, back now how are you Jess? I gained 4 lbs which I have lost, and if I can drop another pound by Friday, I will have lost a stone
 
Hello
It seems i have given up and gone away but i really have not.Iam having technical problems and i dont want to use the laptop for personal reasons.But i am here now,from the laptop cause i promised Cate i would.I hope i can get my tablet back in a couple of days.I am still trying real hard to eat good,lots of veggies,fruits,salads ,no chocs , icecreams ect,i work out but i am not loosing.........i have lost a bit in cm around weight and hips but not anyhing worrth having happy dancing faces on here.I honestly feel like i am fighting a war here.
I will try to be back tonight when i am alone(if i am alone)i will sneak on here.if G doesnt go to work tonight then i wont log on.i have said i wont use his pc.its complicated....anyway.I will search a few things i need on pinterest (its just too easy to get addicted on there!) and i\ll quickly turn this machine off.....:leaving::leaving::leaving:
 
:) :) :) So glad you found your password & your way back into the forum. I do miss you, when you're not here!! Losing a little bit in cm, is MUCH better than gaining. Sorry to hear that life doesn't seem too happy for you sweetie. Hope it improves as you deserve lots of love, xoxoxo Cate, doing a happy dance because you're back ;)
 
Thank goodness you are back. I too have problems with this laptop and was off line for a week before Christmas and everyone thought I was dead. Welcome home love
 
Hi!!imhere ive got my tablet back yesterday evening.I have just finished this huuuuge post and its been LOST.............:reddevil:
it's been nearlly a week that i have stopped eating carbs.The evil carbsthat is.I still have some oats!
No bread,pasta,rice,potatoes.I dont eat anythng thtat contains flour.So i have given up my morning koulouri as well.
I am amazed to see that i was eating SO many carbs.I feel so silly.I am SURE this was/is the key to my weighloss.I feel really GREAT.I DONT feel like i am on a diet.I dont feel stressed.I just fell like "i cant eat that its from flour| or |i cant eat that its carbs"
This is a reall first for me.Not eating flour means No cookies.Not 1.No BREAD!!!i didnt realize that the ammount of bread i was eating was too much.I cant see it know cause i feel a bit LOST.im like "so what am i going to eat ???" its crazy.I was a bit hungry a few days ago.I had sliced cheese inthe fridge.I KNOW that i would have normaly made a grilled cheese sandwich.plus i had a good food day so not too much damage , i would of thought.But know i dont have the evil carbs i took 2 big lettuceleaves and made a lettuce cheese wrap.So tasty And i didntget the extrA CALORIES!!!
i REALLY THINK THIS IDS GOING TO work (sorry about the caps)
now i am not going CRAZY .i mean i Am going to have pasta next week cause we are going away to the trailer n the village and we are on a limited budget,so pasta is one days food.BUT i am not going to go wild.I will eat my food but then m done.Also another days food for our trip is baby meats balls with french fries,i am going to have salad insted of the fries.
todays food was ths

Br half melon ,60 calorie e lollipop
Lunch 3 egg omelette , greek salad ,60 calorie ice lollipop
Snack watermelon
Dinnerhalf melon

I havent worked out for 7 days.....
We are trying to fix up a part of or home.I call it the terrace ,just to soundreally fancy ,and its not!
its the top of our house that has a little room attached on it with rails around.I have a plastic poll up thee for Mario in the summer and a plastic table and chair.We are putting up bamboo tomorow ,really trying to make it presentable.I would like to go sunbath up there before hitting the beaches.I'll probably take a before and after pic!
We are going to the village as i said next Thursday evening till Sunday afternoon.Its in the Pelloponese ,and the beaches that are near are from the ionian sea.They are soo clean,but most of the time have waves,and i am scard anyway of the sea.But we need a little break.Mario will have a great time.Its not gong to be anyone else this time.Just G and Mario and myself ,and the dogs.I wish i could wear my bikini...serves me right though...eating like a mad person all the previous months.
i have my hopes high with this carb thing,,,sory for the big post...Lots of love...Missedyou lots!!!!KISSESXXXX
 
Hello, my sweet friend- MWAH!!! Great news on the cutting down on bread especially. You will feel much better. The more starchy carbs I eat, the more I want. It will be lovely to have an area on top of your place where you can retreat & be private. Also great that the 3 of you are getting away on your own for a break. It will do you a lot of good. Do you have another pair of bathers that you are comfortable in? If so, wear them & have fun! You will get back into that bikini sweetie, but don't wait to be the "perfect" body size, whatever that is, to have fun. Lots of love xoxo Cate
 
Cate i just going to say this cause if i leave it till to ight im not going to say it.its embarassing,i even feel like crying.you said something so right.''dont wait to be the perfect body size to have fun...so true,its me,its my life....i can have fun then in seconds feel so low,thinking that my partener prefers slimmer woman.....feeling that everyone is attractive and im not.it ruins everything for me,my mood and then my partners mood,he doesnt have a clue whats going on in my head.i will try to hold on to these words you said.
 
Oh sweetie, I think I knew that. Did you see the post Joh put on FB of the woman swimming with her child? I have been the same & I don't want you going through your life thinking the same way. You are lovely and you should be having fun & really living! Be happy sweetie, be happy. Love yourself. I don't think G would still be around if he did not find you attractive. Sending you lots and lots of love my friend & I really hope you get out there & have some fun & SWIM with your cute little son xoxo Cate.
PS Have a look at this- http://weight-loss.fitness.com/thre...yings-and-or-affirmations?p=892038#post892038
xoxo Cate
 
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I usually prefer a full glass of beet root juice..It is as good as full meal...My diet consultant suggest me to drink all kinda juice...They are immense source of energy.. : ):)
 
Im going to check that link out ina moment......im really emotional right now,so im not giing to say anything about self image for tnow
Yesterday food

Br. 4 corn cakes with 2slces cheese4 slices cold turkey,ice lollipop
Lunch cooked spinach with rice ( tiny bitof rice,maybe 1 tbl spoon) feta cheese
Snack coffee ice lollipo
Dinner same as breakfast

G and my sisters boyfiend got the bamboo up yesterday,but it wasnt enough....it only covers the front of the ''balcony''hides us from our nosy neighboors that live just across.we need a few more meters for the side to hide us from our side neighboors!!!!
We are going to get the bamboo from the village trip next week so still have to wait for upstairs to look good.i took so e photos before the bamboo,i just want to make it look really nice before posting before after pic.s

Im a bit nervous cause my boy is finishing his school tommorow,its his last day then its closed for summer holidays.but im not sending him back in.september.he is going to normal public kindergarden.from age 2. And a half he has been going to private englush speaking daycare.but since he must go to kindergarden in september i chose for him to go to the public greek school to be introduced to the greek alphabet ect cause after that its real school.and he has a speach thing going on,im worried he will be left behind.i have got used to the day care he was at plus my mum was working there.noow its a big new chapter and im really emotional about this.i just hate change.im worried too,will he have friends will he be ok with his learning.will he feel safe at his new school?wont he miss his luttle friends?what if he doent like his school?

Ps i got my greek nationality a month ago and today i actually got my greek id card!!!!!!!!that took 11 years to take care of........so i've got an :patriot: citizenshipt and an official greek nationality!!!!i still cant belive i made it after all this bureaucracy :party:
 
Sorry for the mistakes i make while writting.sime are from pushing the wrong letters and some are real mistakes ,trying to impr?ve though
 
Hi Jess, I, for one, could not care how many typos or spelling mistakes you make. I love hearing from you! Mario will be fine sweetie. Children adapt. That is what they are really good at. If you pretend that you are excited & positive about his new school, then he will be too. Children soak up your feelings, like little sponges. Hide your fears & doubts Jess. You are now officially Greek my friend(congratulations!) & he needs to fit in, so you are making the right decision. It will also take some financial pressure off you. He will be OK Jess. Most kids make new friends easily. Sending you much love sweetie xoxo Cate
 
i am feeling way better without the bad carbs.I did have a grilled cheese though and i gflt SO badl bloated!I still weigh 98 kg's but my measurments are a tiny bit better
19th of may i had waist 104cm hips 124cm
today i was waist 96 cm hips 121 cm
not much but better than staying the same or gaining.
we are leaving tommorow afternoon for the village.
i am really stressed out cause of matters with my mother.Plus other issues.
i had a bad drea last night about my father .i was ,in my dreAM AT A HOUSE I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIVED IN WITH HIM BEfore he died , and i had returned in a urry to gather my things ,cause some people where looking for me,cause He owed money but they where chasing me(exactlly like in real life.)in my dream somebody was speaking about him using the word "the forgiven one"(thats what the say in grekk if someone dies,the call him the forgiven one) and i was shouting "no no no he is NOT forgiven for what he has done
i woke up in a sweat,confussed,i evemn felt sad a little today , thinking of him.Am i holding on to this anger and hate i have for hm just to cover the fact that i turned my back on him?or is it real?he is DEAD.I think of it and its just scary.Its final.He DIED and has done so much HARM to me....I dont think it was done on purpose,but still...i have this huge financial problem on my back cause of him.and it is serious.Did he feel regret?idont think he actaully realized that he was to blame.The last words we heard from him was days before he died.G called him asking for some information to get me out of this mess HE put me in and he said he odesnt want to help me ,he said he didnt have a daughter and that i did not exist for him.Because i didnt take him in my house again...after all the drama he caused....I havent spoken to him ,you know ,through a prayer,not even once since he died.I dint know where he is burried and i dont care to know.But i hate the fact that i cant tell him how i feel about him.That he hurt me more now that he is died that all the years he had abbandoned us,li never felt that i missed a father,until now...that is the worst of it.That is what i want to tell him.That it was better when i didnt have him in my life , he didnt hurt me then.But when i helped him when i got to meet him then he did allthis damage....and i did nothing inmy life to deserve this.
i am sorry for this post again....
lots of love
 
Jess, write your father a letter. I know he has died. Write everything down. I mean really put down exactly how you feel about him, the hurt he has caused you, the pain he has caused, the unwarranted guilt. Put it all down. Don't gloss anything over. Pretend you are writing to him & that he will see it. Then, file it away somewhere. What's done is done sweetie. You did no wrong. I remember well the way he was when you took him in years ago. You have to move on with your life & do the best you can with the mess he has left. This may help a little. Don't bottle it up. Really write how you feel. VENT! Call him all the names under the son, if that's what you feel like doing. Get it out.
Lots of love to you sweetie xoxo Cate
 
Cate i have read your reply from the day you have written it and i think its a good idea.I havent done it yet.Keep thinking what to say.I then think that i dont want him to know that he has made me feel so bad.I mean if there is a place the dead go to and can hear us i dont know if i would want him knowing.But i will do it.I am waiting for alone time.Its going to be hard i know.Thank you for thatn idea!!!!
I saw my bf yesterday , i hadnt seen her for a month ,she said i have lost weight,not a lot but def.a little...I am over hte been upset phase.im just thinking that the weight is goingto go REAL SLOW this time.Dont know why,was thinking to get some exams done,but they are a bit expensive,its on my mind though.
i am still taking care
no bread,pasta,rice,potatoes,flour
i have had a little cheat here and there but really nothing important.i feel way slimmer
i wore a short skirt yesterday ,felt and looked fine but i know i havent lost nearlly anything.Why oh Why????
im also measuring think i have lost on my hips but i'll wait for the new week to take the "official"measurments!!!!
Lots of running around for my mothers pention/i am never home in the morning cause of all this running around.
i wish my other sisters would take some charge in this.................

we have fixed the "terrace":sifone: a bit got the bamboo up all around,i painted the outside of the little room to light pink and purple.(i hate pink by the way) but it looks nice and clean/My uncles going to make me some more pot plants and its eally starting tolook nice upstairs.I love going uptairs atnght to read.I have these solar lights in the plants and they light up lovely at night

hope i have better weight loss new the coming week!!!!!!!

since i dont have before after photo of myself i'll post one of upstairs!!!:biggrinjester:

View attachment 22095View attachment 22096
 
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Jess, that looks great!!! What a wonderful place to be able to go to! You'll be able to exercise there as well or sunbathe, when you want to, in privacy. Lovely!
"I feel way slimmer"- Seeing that made me really smile :D Well done Jess. I had better get back to that feeling myself quick smart!
Lots of love to you Jess, xoxo Cate
 
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