how can i explain to him??

bexxx

New member
ok soo my bf is moving in with me next week... he used to work away most of the time but now he wont be. trouble is every time we re together i eat the wrong foods which is cool some of the time but not all the time. he will try and get me ewating junk food like buy it for me if were out he ll go n get me crisps or a choclate bar when he knows i dont eat them its been going on long enough for him to know he does it on purpose and i say to him that im just trying to look after my body so it last longer. i mean surley he wants to have a gf who is slim and sexy ect.
need to find a way of making him think about what he is putting in his mouth?? and what its doing to him
i have a dress fitting in a week so i cant afford to put on weight.
xxx
 
sounds like he doesnt want u to lose weight, which is probably becuase he is worried u`ll leave him for somone better if u do. try and reasure him you love him when he starts buying u chocolate.
 
One thing I have learned is truth is always best in these kind of situations. If you feel he is not being supportive just sit down and tell him. Do it at a time that you are not stressed and take the time to think about what you are going to say before hand. You can’t control what he eats, but you can control what you eat. So really it comes down to how prepared you are to stand up for yourself and what you should be eating vs what you used to eat.
 
I'm reluctant to say that maybe its time for you to find a new boyfriend, but AS a boyfriend, he should be supportive of the positive changes you are trying to make for yourself.

If he sincerely cares for you, and you sit him down and explain how important it is to you that you eat healthier and have him backing you, then he will understand.

And if he doesn't? Forget 'em. You might not be with this guy forever, but you're gonna be yourself for the rest of your life. Do you FIRST, girl!
 
ok soo my bf is moving in with me next week... he used to work away most of the time but now he wont be. trouble is every time we re together i eat the wrong foods which is cool some of the time but not all the time. he will try and get me ewating junk food like buy it for me if were out he ll go n get me crisps or a choclate bar when he knows i dont eat them its been going on long enough for him to know he does it on purpose and i say to him that im just trying to look after my body so it last longer. i mean surley he wants to have a gf who is slim and sexy ect.
need to find a way of making him think about what he is putting in his mouth?? and what its doing to him
i have a dress fitting in a week so i cant afford to put on weight.
xxx

Highlighted in red don't do it that will be your worst mistake.. and buck up and say no thanks to the junk.. easy as that and why is your BF moving in?
 
I have found that in some circumstances, it makes others feel better to "sabotage" others that are working towards something, that inherently makes others self conscious... It's hard to explain, and I am ashamed to admit it, but I am guilty of the same thing at times! For example, if I am gorging myself at a buffet, I don't want to be sitting next to someone that is chewing on celery, that is just not comfortable. However, if my wife was trying to get healthy, then we would not be at the buffet to begin with.

Have you been "losing weight" for a while, as in several months? Because I have also seen another effect of perpetual dieting on loved ones. We all have relatives that are always on a diet, and maybe that relative is us! haha... well, after a while we become the boy who cried wolf. I have a cousin that has been on a diet for 4 years, and gained weight the whole time. She always says "I can't eat that" but we know she will anyway. Maybe if your bf thinks you are not really committed, he doesn't realize that he is sabotaging you. I would venture to guess that if you sat him down and had a heart to heart, tell him you are REALLY committed right now to weight loss, and this is hurting you.

Either way, keep it up, be strong!
 
hi guys thank you for all the brill tips =] i think ill just have to do it my way no point in talkin to him about ill just stick at it and see how it goes.
xx
 
ok soo my bf is moving in with me next week... he used to work away most of the time but now he wont be. trouble is every time we re together i eat the wrong foods which is cool some of the time but not all the time. he will try and get me ewating junk food like buy it for me if were out he ll go n get me crisps or a choclate bar when he knows i dont eat them its been going on long enough for him to know he does it on purpose and i say to him that im just trying to look after my body so it last longer. i mean surley he wants to have a gf who is slim and sexy ect.
need to find a way of making him think about what he is putting in his mouth?? and what its doing to him
i have a dress fitting in a week so i cant afford to put on weight.
xxx

You started another thread where you were claiming that people were sabotaging you. Now you're claiming that your boyfriend is purposely buying you junk food, as if he is trying to prevent you from losing weight.

I know this is going to sound harsh, but blunt is the only way I can be...

Quit focusing on what other people are doing and focus on yourself. If you want to lose weight, you have to realize that the world isn't going to change for you. Who cares if your boyfriend buys you a chocolate bar? You don't have to eat it. If you eat it, that's your choice. Unless he unwraps the candy and shoves it down your throat, you have nobody to blame but yourself if you eat it.

Now, is it difficult to combat the temptation of having that chocolate in front of you? Yes, it can be. But, once again, that has nothing to do with your boyfriend or anybody else - that's all on you. If you want to lose weight, you have to realize that you are the only person who can keep unhealthy foods from entering your mouth. So, whether your boyfriend buys you a candy bar or if you go with your brother to a restaurant that doesn't have a healthy menu (as you said in your other thread), the blame is all on you if you choose to stray from your diet.

Temptation is always going to be there. You have to learn to fight that temptation and let go of the expectation that everybody else in the world is going to cater to you and your needs.

Also, what do you care what your boyfriend puts in his mouth? You're the one who is trying to lose weight - not him. So, who cares if he eats a couple pieces of greasy pizza or a big ass hot fudge sundae? You're the one who has a dress fitting next week - not him. So, why worry about what he's shoveling in his mouth?

It just seems to me that you're spending too much time focusing on other people and what they're doing, when, what you should be doing is focusing on yourself and what you're doing.

I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but it's the reality of what you need to do in order to progress in your weight loss journey. It's what we all have to do in order to progress in our weight loss journeys.
 
Whilst harsh, i would entirely agree with the above.

I had to deal with kids and husband all forgetting i was on a diet and eating crap, and my mother actively sabotaging me by inviting me to dinner and secretly stuff odd things into her recipes (shes fat, got jealous i was loosing i presume?)

It makes it slightly harder, but its still easily do-able if you put your mind to it. Try and do it to spite them all, it seemed to work for me. Blowed if i was gonna let them ruin it for me. When my mother came back from switzerland with 3 large chocolate bars each, I smiled, thanked her and went home. I put them in the cupboard, and had 1 or 2 squares each day, but only if i had done my workout at the gym! Everytime i ate it i secretly laughed at my mother because i was eating the chocolate and still loosing the weight :)
 
I wonder what the ratio of woman to men thinking this i dont care what my wife eats... i don't think anyone sabotages me if i dont want to eat it i dont..

Whilst harsh, i would entirely agree with the above.

I had to deal with kids and husband all forgetting i was on a diet and eating crap, and my mother actively sabotaging me by inviting me to dinner and secretly stuff odd things into her recipes (shes fat, got jealous i was loosing i presume?)

It makes it slightly harder, but its still easily do-able if you put your mind to it. Try and do it to spite them all, it seemed to work for me. Blowed if i was gonna let them ruin it for me. When my mother came back from switzerland with 3 large chocolate bars each, I smiled, thanked her and went home. I put them in the cupboard, and had 1 or 2 squares each day, but only if i had done my workout at the gym! Everytime i ate it i secretly laughed at my mother because i was eating the chocolate and still loosing the weight :)

Do you think your mom really is trying to sabotage because your losing weight if so your mom must be one real screwed up lady...
 
You started another thread where you were claiming that people were sabotaging you. Now you're claiming that your boyfriend is purposely buying you junk food, as if he is trying to prevent you from losing weight.

I know this is going to sound harsh, but blunt is the only way I can be...

Quit focusing on what other people are doing and focus on yourself. If you want to lose weight, you have to realize that the world isn't going to change for you. Who cares if your boyfriend buys you a chocolate bar? You don't have to eat it. If you eat it, that's your choice. Unless he unwraps the candy and shoves it down your throat, you have nobody to blame but yourself if you eat it.

Now, is it difficult to combat the temptation of having that chocolate in front of you? Yes, it can be. But, once again, that has nothing to do with your boyfriend or anybody else - that's all on you. If you want to lose weight, you have to realize that you are the only person who can keep unhealthy foods from entering your mouth. So, whether your boyfriend buys you a candy bar or if you go with your brother to a restaurant that doesn't have a healthy menu (as you said in your other thread), the blame is all on you if you choose to stray from your diet.

Temptation is always going to be there. You have to learn to fight that temptation and let go of the expectation that everybody else in the world is going to cater to you and your needs.

Also, what do you care what your boyfriend puts in his mouth? You're the one who is trying to lose weight - not him. So, who cares if he eats a couple pieces of greasy pizza or a big ass hot fudge sundae? You're the one who has a dress fitting next week - not him. So, why worry about what he's shoveling in his mouth?

It just seems to me that you're spending too much time focusing on other people and what they're doing, when, what you should be doing is focusing on yourself and what you're doing.

I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but it's the reality of what you need to do in order to progress in your weight loss journey. It's what we all have to do in order to progress in our weight loss journeys.
i know i can be abit of a moaner thanks i think ill man up and just get on with it an take no notice thanks for advice xx
 
i know i can be abit of a moaner thanks i think ill man up and just get on with it an take no notice thanks for advice xx

It's not that you have to "just get on with it" - you just need to stop focusing on what other people are doing.

Take my house for example - my mom is baking cookies today for the holidays. Now, she knows I'm on a diet, but she's still making cookies and filling our house with unhealthy, sugary, chocolately treats. Not because she hates me and not because she's trying to sabotage my weight loss - but because Christmas is coming up and baking cookies is what she does around Christmas. And, just because I'm watching what I eat, it doesn't mean she's going to change anything about HER life. She always bakes cookies around Christmas, so that's what she's going to do.

You have to realize that the people around you are going to going to do the same thing. Even if they know you're on a diet, they're still going to continue to do their normal thing. If they eat like shit and stuff their faces with greasy and fatty foods - they're going to continue to do so, even if you're on a diet. If they go to restaurants that serve nothing but pizza - they're going to continue to do so, even if you're on a diet. If they are kind enough to think of you when they're at the store and happen to buy your favorite chocolate bar for you - they're going to continue to do so, even if you're on a diet. Etc.

So, just ignore what other people are doing, because they're not going to change. They're not the ones who are trying to change anyway - YOU ARE. So, don't worry about what other people are doing and just focus on yourself. Focus on yourself and concentrate on staying strong with the healthy changes that you are trying to make in your life.

Temptation will always be there, whether you like it or not. It's best to just accept that and move on.
 
Do you think your mom really is trying to sabotage because your losing weight if so your mom must be one real screwed up lady...
Hah yep, my mum is a bit mental, he has mental health problems and head injury, i learnt early on to be wary.
She even went the whole 'oh you need to stop loosing weight! you are skeletal!' thing when i was still clearly overweight, just skinnier than her 100kg(220lb). On the plus side, i've moved 200km away from her now which makes life a LOT easier :)
 
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