Homosexual male confused about weight. Would I still be considered fat now?

GCjared

GCjared

New member
this may be more of a relationship issue than a weight issue, but it doesn't hurt to try

Ok so here's thing.

I came out when I was about 17 and was happy to finally realize i had a niche. Then I had to learn the hard way that most guys weren't really interested in being my friend let alone my boyfriend. That was b/c i was weighing in 315lbs at the time, along with wearing a size 50 in pants and 3xl shirts going on 4. Basically, I was told that if I didn't lose the weight I was guaranteed to be single.

So I did...

I lost 120lbs went from a size 50 to a size 34, trying to go to a size 32 or idealy a size 30 and can get into Medium sized shirts. However, i'm still single....:( and infact, there are alot of guys who would still consider me fat...So I figured I'd lose about another 40lbs...

The problem is... is that... I kinda sorta like how I look, i mean i need to do some work but I'm proud of what I achieved. My Dad and my Brother, who are both doctors told me I shouldn't try to lose anymore weight. My cousin and my God sister, who are trainer's said the same thing. Infact all of my friend and family said not to lose weight. EXCEPT for gay men, when I told them I had lost 120lbs they looked at me as if I lost ONE and I'm sooo confused. Basically i'm trying to ask is losing 40lbs a little bit too much seeing as I lost a substantial amount.

before and after pics SHOULD be attached


5"10 195 lbs....
 

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Wow.. if I was single, and a man. :O You are damn fine.

Sorry hehe :D

If you're happy, and everyone else thinks you look good, then don't lose any more! You cant expect all of the men out there to like you. One will come when the time is right!
 
you are plenty cute now -

Im not sure where you're gonna get 40lbs from to lose....

You have to do what makes you happy -not worry about what other people are telling you.. especially men who dont know you well...
 
First of all, congrats on the amazing weight loss you have acheived so far.
Second, personally, I think you look great. If you were straight, I might just hit on you if I saw you on the street lol. You are tall, so I think 195 lbs is not bad. If you are concerned about a little flab, then just try some weight training and sit-ups to tighten up.
Finally, you don't want someone to be attracted to you solely on your appearance, do you? Just be yourself and eventually someone will find the real you underneath what you look like. Just ignore what other people say and think about how you feel and the way you think you look. It will all work out eventually and you will meet someone who will love you for who you are.
Good luck :D
 
Don't listen to them, you are fine!!!! If all they want is a stick man tell them to go get one from the forest.
 
hi, just to add to what the others have said, well done on a fantastic weightloss and secondly i think you look fit as you are . slim
 
You're quite attractive right now and definately don't need to lose 40lbs. Don't feel pressured to be in a relationship. I can sympathize, being single and in college, where a lot of the people I know are starting to get engaged and such but sometimes it takes a while to find the right person.
 
In response to that, i know the feeling. ESPECIALLY in spring time. I've sseen some of my gay friends or gay men i know, with boyfriends and it kills me. because I basically thought that once I lost the weight guys would flock over me. and that's why I solely lost the weight..Sometimes it's easy to forget how hard I worked to actually get where I am now, and even though I feel bad for being single at times and that some guys critique me, I still have to tell myself that inspite of it I worked my ASS off (and built a new one the process :D ) and that's something they can't take away from me. At ALL.

So in order for me to somewhat compensate for what my weight loss didn't give me, I try to look at what it has given me. I'm currently am on the Cross country team at my college, basically all of my weight loss was due to running, ALOT. Hell, I was known as "That guy that runs all the damn time" at school. From not being able to run a mile in less than 10 minutes 5 minutes ago, I can now run 5 miles in 34 minutes. I finally don't have to get my jean's at Vicker's big and Tall anymore or any of my clothes. It's a great feeling to go to a store knowing that they have your size, in stock and not hiding somewhere in the back. Actually, being able to ride ride's at the fair, there was one incident where I couldn't get on a ride due to my weight. It's little things like that that keep me going and encouraged.

Another thing is that I been told by a few people that I inspired them to lose weight or at least to get up off their asses and move a little bit. People have asked me what i am doing to lose the weight and keep it off and some say "i'm trying to get fit like you man" and It feels good. Sometimes I want to kick myself for thinking that 120lbs isn't alot of weight just b/c what some pretentious queer (pardon my labels) has to think. It's easy to forget progress.
 
Here's my two cents:

Who cares what the wrong guys want---you're looking for the right man right? The guy for you will love you just the way you are--which by the way is freakin' awesome. You've lost 120 pounds and have gone from a cute little teddy bear to a very hot guy. Congratulations on your transformation and hang in there....the right guys will come along when you least expect it!
 
I think you look incredible now and I wouldn't push to lose the extra weight right away. Really take some pride in what you've accomplished (which is incredible!) and I think you'll start building the confidence that will attract people to you. Great job :)
 
Wow! Dude!!!!

How could you possibly lose another pound let alone 40? I think you would have to amputate a leg! You look fantastic already! Another 40 would make you look underweight and unhealthy!

What I would suggest is loosing a few hundred more pounds, but not from your body, specifically your friends! If they cant or wont support you after making such an amazing and dramatic change in your life and health then you need new friends.

I may be a straight man, but personally think you are already "hot" enough to attract not only a similarly handsome partner, but a crapload of new friends who wil appreciate all the hard work you put into yourself. If your friends arent head over heels in awe of the transformation you made they are either jealous or perhaps a little threatened of your great looks or simply not nice people anyways. You werent bad looking before, but now maybe they see you stealing all the limelight....

Well done and thanks for sharing! I only hope I look as good as you do when I am finished!

sirant

p.s. You are feeding a bad sterotype by the way. I always hear women saying "Why do all the gay men have the hot bodies!?!?!?" You are yet another thorn in straight womens sides everywhere. :)
Well Done!
 
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I don't see anything wrong with you, I really wouldn't call you chubby, nevermind fat.
I think you're just suffering from a lack of confidence to be honest mate, you're still thinking of yourself as big, I have the same problem so I'm just losing another 6lbs then I'll pack the muscle on.
Just be confident :)

- Hetero male
 
40 more lbs?? i think you look incredible!! like everyone else said already... what's important is how you feel about yourself. 120 lbs? wow.

and just my 2 cents on the topic... i know a lot of gay guys and some of them tend to be very pretentious, but everyone of them that i know to be egotistical and with the "he's not good enough" attitude are that way because they are scared and they've dealt with so much rejection of their own. you look great and you should be proud of what you've acheived.
 
I just ran your picture (both before and after actually) against 6 gay men :) (i can't swing a dead cat in my office without hitting at least 3 :)

The comments were - cute smile in the first and why no smile in the second - and they appreciated the body in the second... :D
 
I think you look great. If you are confident in yourself, you will naturally attract people. Congratulations on the weight loss!
 
You ARE fine and dont need to lose anything! I don't think this is about weight anymore. I think you're throwing off a vibe that is not attracting the men. Or you're expecting them to come to you when maybe you need to make some moves toward them. Are you dating online? There are tons of people out there looking for a relationship as I recall when I used to date from online. At any rate, you dont want some shallow idiot that requires you to have a perfect model's body just to be good enough. Keep up the confidence..you are worth more than your weight or your body.
 
WOW!!! I think you're bumping into the WRONG type of gay men... Maybe they're anorexic or something, because you look ABSOLUTELY GREAT!
You are absolutely right, you look good the way you are right now and shouldn't lose any more weight, specially if it's to please other people, everyone likes the way you look, even yourself, so that should be enough hun, you'll see that the right person will pop up soon, and he'll like you JUST the way you are... And believe me you looking gooood! ;-)
 
corndogggy said:
So gay people can call each other a queer in a derogatory manner, but straight people cannot? Just checking. If I called you a queer right now I'd catch all kinds of hell about it.
Click to expand...

I think that follows the same logic why young black men call each other the word that begins with the letter N but not one else would do it..
 
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