Here I go again

confuzzledwife

confuzzledwife

New member


ok so I'm new here and just figured out where to start my diary :)

I've posted a couple already, but not in the right place lol.. but here goes. I'm 39, married, 5 kids, p/t work from home. Back in 05 I lost over 40 lbs.. started around 185 ended at 142. I loved it there! To most that might seem too heavy, but to me it was perfect. I was in a size 8-10. I lost that weight by cutting calories to 1100-1200 a day and using Power 90 5 days a week. I also walked a mile at the track on weekends and in between.


I pretty much maintained that, sure I gained a few here and there but lost it quick. Then this past year, specifically the past 6 months I've made a pig of myself. Eating TONS of ice cream with whipped cream, hot fudge, no exercising. The more junk I ate the sicker I got. I knew I'd gained weight but I didn't realize until a couple days ago I am at 195- that's WAY to close to the dreaded 200 mark. Too much for me. Overall my health is good (surprisingly).

Reality really struck home when I saw a reflection of myself in the mirror.. I was in the bathroom sitting at the edge of the tub and thought something was stuck to my back, yeah- it was a fat roll- yuck! Enough is enough.

I have been mentally preparing for awhile to eat better, live healthier.. and my starting date is Monday 7/27. I never want to be here again- with NO energy, getting sick of myself, wearing a size 16, I've never been this big in my life. Even during my pregnancies I've never hit this weight..

I'm going to post regular updates here and how it's going.. along with reading other inspiring stories.. I find myself looking at the before and afters and that's really helping me to get motivated. I do have some before pics that I haven't yet posted.. not sure if I'll wait until after or what- (still too chicken to post lol).
 
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here I go again...



So I'm wide awake. I just uploaded "before" pics of me... I can't wait to upload "after" ones. lol.

Tomorrow is the BIG day. When I officially cut my calories and get myself on a path to healthier eating and exercise. Looking at the pics of myself I can't help but feel sick. How could I let myself go like that? ? ?

This morning I decided to mow the lawn. I haven't done it myself in a few years.. I used to look forward to it, the exercise, the sense of accomplishment, and getting some fresh air. When I went out earlier it was SO hot and humid. I got 2 rows done and was ready to give up. The sun was beating down on my head... I swear it felt like it was going to burn a hole through my skull! But I carried on- When I finally finished about an hour later, I came into the house, my hair dripping wet.. I was so tired, and yet, I felt like I've accomplished more than cutting the grass.. I got in some exercise!!!

Then I went grocery shopping and bought some substitutes for my favorite foods. I replaced cheese for the fat free kind, I got my fat free cream for my coffee, and some fruit. I totally forgot to get skim milk- but I have everything else ready :) I even got my P90 DVD ready to go. I can't wait!
 
If I might offer some advice? :)

Stop thinking in terms of "tomorrow". There's no reason you can't start today - or even right now. It's easy to put things off until tomorrow - and keep doing it. I played that game with myself for a long time ... I can't start today because. Because I have to eat lunch with a client this week. Because I have a party to go to. Because it's vacation. Because it's Saturday. Because. :)

But the truth is that your life is filled with all of those things all the time. There will always be a weekend, a party, a lunch, a holiday, something. Start now and incorporate those things into your plan. Otherwise it just becomes "I'll start tomorrow" all the time.

You can do it ... you just gotta take that first step! :)
 
Hi!

And thanks for the advice. I appreciate any advice and/or constructive criticism!! My last post was at almost midnight last night, I was heading off to bed. I've gone through this before with losing weight... that wasn't the hardest part, maintaining it was the issue for me. I've been mentally preparing for this a long time and I finally told myself "enough is enough" and to pick a date and stick to it.

I like to hold myself accountable, and by setting that date and posting here in some strange way actually sort of helped me. It's like if I say I'm going to do something, I do it.. that's just how I am, and that was the reason I set a date. I know that there will always be something, I found that out the last time I lost weight. I started in March 2005, then it was my husband's bday, then my daughter's bday in April, then my son in May, oh and can't forget Easter lol.. so I know there will always be "something" I just have to have the willpower and determination not to overeat. And when I do get to my goal weight this time around, I know I just have to eat in moderation. I kept my weight off for awhile and I know why I gained that back (plus another 10) this past year.

But yesterday I took a few baby steps in the right direction. I mowed the lawn, (first time I had any exercise in a long time) and I baked brownies with my son but didn't eat any... and I didn't even lick the spoon lol... I'm pretty proud of that.

I woke up today, got my kids off to camp, and totally didn't want to exercise. I admit it. It's very humid. BUT, I did it anyway. I gotta say I'm excited I did it, I really pushed myself and now, I feel energized and invigorated! Thanks.. also, I see you've made AWESOME progress yourself!!!!
:hurray:
 
here I go

Here's how Day 1 went:

Woke up, drank coffee (with fat free cream & Splenda).

Took the kids to camp- came home and did my Power 90 cardio- circuit 1/2. I haven't worked out in at least a year- and I was surprised I kept up as good as I had. There were a few brief periods where I had to run in place instead of jumping jacks, but the fact I completed it and didn't stop is a good thing. Tomorrow will be P90, strength- 1/2 which I totally ENJOY!

My menu for the day:

Breakfast- egg sandwich (scrambled egg made with skim milk, 2 slices white bread, 1 slice fat free cheese), 10 oz skim milk with just a splash of low-fat chocolate milk for flavoring. PAM instead of butter in the pan.

Snack: Italian Ice

Lunch: Honeycomb cereal with skim milk (1 serving size - 1 1/2 cups w/ 1/2 cup skim milk).

Snack: Apple - medium sized

Dinner: Grilled cheese sandwich (2 slices regular american cheese, 2 slices white bread, PAM instead of butter). 10 oz skim milk, splash of low-fat chocolate milk, 1 spear pickle.

Total cups of coffee for the day: 4 - not bad considering that's half my normal. And my previous "normal" coffee would consist of regular cream and sugar.

I added ALL my calories for the day (coffee included), and still fell short- I'm just under 1100 for the day, which is why I used regular cheese instead of fat free for dinner. I wanted to hit about 1300 for the first couple of weeks. I'm not hungry (surprisingly). Maybe I shouldn't be worried about it. I know I've heard that cutting calories so drastically can't be good.

The last time I lost weight this way, my calories were consistently 1100-1200 a day. Oh well, overall it was a good day!!
 
Veggies! :) Add some veggies to that menu. Fruit too. Apples with breakfast, salad with dinner, anything to get some more nutrients in there.
 
re here I go again

Kara- I TOTALLY agree!

I was thinking of having a salad tonight with my dinner.. then I realized I didn't have anything to put on it except for regular Italian dressing, and I didn't want to add in all those extra calories... so I added onto my shopping list "salad spritzer", I've tried it before and really liked it.. I prefer the Italian Vinaigrette or Ranch.. yummy- I love most veggies.. especially broccoli! I don't have any in the house though- but I do have to make a run to the supermarket in the morning... and I'm definitely going to get some. I want to add more fruits/veggies into my daily routine, and I want to get a few more calories in earlier in the day, such as with breakfast. Thanks!!
 
re here I go again

Just a quick update.

I had the same menu today as yesterday.. but with my dinner I added in about a handful (or cup) of mixed veggies :) I had carrots, corn, peas and green beans.

I think I forgot to mention that every morning after breakfast, I take some vitamins/supplements. 1 multivitamin, 1 green tea extract pill, 1 co enzyme Q10 (100 milligrams), and 2 tsp of Sambucus.

That's about it.. feeling a bit sore right now.. gonna take some tylenol and head to bed.

On a side note: I can't wait for Thursday (payday) to add a little more variety into my daily menu.
 
re here I go again

Day 3 Update

So today my food was the same except that instead of veggies tonight with dinner I had a salad.. just lettuce with 2 tbsp italian dressing.. I didn't think 2 tbsp would be enough, but it was!

So I'm really very sore tonight..

I put my own music on today while I was working out.. it gave me tons more motivation to keep going! I finished it all, so I'm proud of that. But I'm feeling a bit drained this evening. Ok, I'm exhausted, and hungry.. but I know this will pass.

Can't wait for tomorrow.. I'm broke and tomorrow is payday (finally!) and I'm having a major craving for broccoli. And I ran out of spring water also.. ugh!!

Write more tomorrow :)
 
re here I go again

Day 4:

Today was good..

I had a ton of errands to run this morning after I exercised, had breakfast and showered.. by the time I got home, I was pretty tired. It was about 90 degrees here and wicked humid! I got in around 1, and I had an hour before the kids came home from camp- tomorrow is their last day!!!

There are things I've been meaning to do while they were in camp.. for one, I've been wanting to go through my closet and straighten it out- I normally put all my clothes in my dresser and typically the clothes in my closet are out of season things.. I pulled out boxes and tons of clothes.. I haven't gone through there in a long time. Well I found clothes ranging in sizes 10-16! That's pathetic! lol.. I feel like I need to pick a size and stick to it! lol. The good thing is that as I lose weight I won't have to get a new wardrobe! That is, unless I fall below a size 10, which is just fine with me!

So I definitely accomplished something by finishing that.. it took up the entire hour I had to myself. So by the time the kids got home, things got hectic.. they wanted to go in the pool, so we hung out back and did that- then I came in and washed the kitchen floor, threw some laundry in, then I made dinner and that's when I realized I didn't have lunch!! So, I made myself a grilled cheese and after I ate that I was full, like- I felt STUFFED! So that was it. For breakfast, I had my usual egg sandwich. I also drank some spring water, all day I'd been sipping on the bottle, maybe that's what filled me up-

Right now I'm sipping on a cup of decaf (fat free cream and Splenda of course).

So I think my calories for today was super low- Not sure why but I have tons of energy!!!!

if I get hungry later, I'll probably just have a fruit. I did get some oranges and broccoli today :) I've been craving broccoli all week.

Anyway- I still have to run out for a few more things.. guess I'll get that going now.
 
Your before pictures could be me if I pasted my head on them. I'm at about 181 right now and 5'3". Sounds like you are motivated, I need to remember to stop by your diary and suck it dry like a vampire.
 
You can do it! I'm on day 5 of my healthy lifestyle excerise plan. I call it healthy lifestyle because it is *critical* that we make eating a part of our lifestyle, forever. No "diets", where you suppress your calorie intake for awhile, then go back to your old habits. I have to try and make this a life style...

And I know how you feel (about the heat), I live in arizona. Today it hit 116 F. I go jogging in the morning but its still around 80-90.

I should also note I started one day after you did! Let's do this together!
 
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Owl said:
Your before pictures could be me if I pasted my head on them. I'm at about 181 right now and 5'3". Sounds like you are motivated, I need to remember to stop by your diary and suck it dry like a vampire.
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hi Owl- and thanks for stopping by :)
I am VERY motivated. I actually tried and failed a couple times earlier in the year.. this time I just said enough is enough.. not sure exactly what keeping me going, I think maybe it's because I did this before- I know I can do it.. and so can you!! Have faith!!
 
SparkErosion said:
You can do it! I'm on day 5 of my healthy lifestyle excerise plan. I call it healthy lifestyle because it is *critical* that we make eating a part of our lifestyle, forever. No "diets", where you suppress your calorie intake for awhile, then go back to your old habits. I have to try and make this a life style...

And I know how you feel (about the heat), I live in arizona. Today it hit 116 F. I go jogging in the morning but its still around 80-90.

I should also note I started one day after you did! Let's do this together!
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hi Spark! Thanks for stopping by my diary! Good to know people are reading it lol.... I can't imagine 116 degrees!!!! But good for you still getting out there jogging in the morning! I totally know what you're saying about calling it a healthy lifestyle versus a "diet".. that never works... I am even more motivated having someone else starting out when I did!
Let's keep in touch
 
Hey confuzzled. I totally agree with Kara. Ooo, salad spritzer! I love the ranch and honey mustard ones. Your doing a great job! Keep it up, and keep that motivation girl, that's one of the best things to have!!
 
re here I go again

tamwalt said:
Hey confuzzled. I totally agree with Kara. Ooo, salad spritzer! I love the ranch and honey mustard ones. Your doing a great job! Keep it up, and keep that motivation girl, that's one of the best things to have!!
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Hi!!
Thanks for stopping by! I noticed you lost 64 lbs!! WOW! That's great! Last night after I posted I had 4 strawberries! Yum :) Then I drank some more spring water and felt better.
I haven't tried the ranch and honey mustard spritzers.. sounds delicious though :)
Thank you- I love the encouragement and motivation I get from others like yourself!
Take care..
 
re here I go again..

Day 5 update

Today went well! I did my P90 DVD. I decided on a lighter breakfast than usual, so I had a small bowl of Honeycomb with skim milk and my vitamins.

I'm trying to get a bit more water in my daily routine.. I feel that I'm having too much coffee, I'm trying to cut down to 3 cups a day and replace one for a glass of water. I love cold spring water, but always run out. So last night I finally picked up a half dozen gallons of water, some strawberries (I couldn't resist those), a bunch of bananas, some broccoli, and my salad spritzer :)

I took my daughter out to a restaurant for lunch. We never get to do much anymore- she's out of the house, 20 years old, and with the younger kids here I felt like we just don't get enough girl time! So I was a bit nervous about what I would eat... when I got there I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with a side garden salad. Ha! The "side" salad was a HUGE plate! If I'd known it was going to be that big, I wouldn't have ordered the sandwich.. so I ate about 1/4 of it with 2 TBSP Italian dressing, and the sandwich with a diet Coke. For dinner I had 4 strawberries and a small bowl of broccoli (no butter) and some water. It's still fairly early, so I'm not sure what I'll have for a snack. I thought I'd be hungrier. I feel like I need more food, but I feel full, it's weird.. I had 2 cups of coffee today, so I still have one more to go if I want.

On a side note. For the past couple of days, my husband keeps saying "c'mon you can have pizza (or a brownie, or ice cream), etc., then he'll eat something fattening in front of me and say "MMM" really loud. I told him that right now I'm trying to avoid the junk foods, maybe later after I lose I can have something once in awhile.. but I'm really trying to stay on the healthy side of things... I know completely depriving myself isn't going to work, but I'd like to be the one who decides when or if I'll have a treat. I just hate when someone tries to sabotage my efforts. I'm not saying that if I ate junk food it would be anyone else's' fault, of course it wouldn't be, but it gets annoying, and honestly? It's immature. I told him this, he said "just have a couple cookies and I'll turn the other way".. it sort of pissed me off- I said whether you turn the other way or not, if I eat that, I'll know and I'm not going to cheat myself! UGH.. I'm just in a sour mood anyway today- but that didn't help at all... I think right now I'm just feeling a bit overly sensitive to any food related comments.. he knows how hard I worked at losing weight the last time, and now it's even harder starting out at a higher weight. Sigh.

On a side note: Today was the kids last day of camp- well, actually my youngest son is disabled, so he goes to a special ed summer school. I'm hoping I'll be able to keep up with my morning routine of exercising. If I can't get up early enough to get my workout done before he gets up, then I'll have to do it at night, which I SO don't enjoy- but I will obviously do it either way, I don't want to get off track.

If it doesn't rain this weekend, I plan on going for a nice brisk walk around my neighborhood. It will be something a little different, and also, it will be a good form of exercise since I don't do my Power 90 on weekends..

Can't wait until Monday for my first official weigh in!! Hoping the numbers are down. Write more over the weekend.
 
Sounds like you are doing great! One thing, on the husband taunting you, if you ignore it, and he doesn't get a reaction from you he will stop doing it. The next time you see him eating junk, or he brings it up, just say "wow, that sounds really good, I hope you enjoy it!" and walk away to another room. Either he'll follow you and continue being an 8 year old boy, or he'll enjoy his snack and leave you alone.

I bought the wishbone salad spritzers, but just used the bottles over and over again refilling them with my own low calorie mixes. I keep the mustard one full of diluted grey poupon with a bit of splenda and lemon and the basamic one full of just plain ol' balsamic...make the even distribution of dressing over the salad easier and I use less thus consuming less calories. So, I love the delivery system, but not the price.
 
Owl said:
Sounds like you are doing great! One thing, on the husband taunting you, if you ignore it, and he doesn't get a reaction from you he will stop doing it. The next time you see him eating junk, or he brings it up, just say "wow, that sounds really good, I hope you enjoy it!" and walk away to another room. Either he'll follow you and continue being an 8 year old boy, or he'll enjoy his snack and leave you alone.

I bought the wishbone salad spritzers, but just used the bottles over and over again refilling them with my own low calorie mixes. I keep the mustard one full of diluted grey poupon with a bit of splenda and lemon and the basamic one full of just plain ol' balsamic...make the even distribution of dressing over the salad easier and I use less thus consuming less calories. So, I love the delivery system, but not the price.
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Hey Owl!
Yes about the taunting..it's just silly. I will take your advice for sure. He just doesn't "get" it.. being naturally tall and thin, he's the type who can eat any/everything and not gain an ounce- then he says "I love you no matter what you weigh". well that's great and supportive- but I am not doing this for him, I'm doing this for ME!

That is an awesome idea about the spritzers! Thanks for sharing that.. it sounds really good too, and I'm going to try that.. I know what you mean about the price. I'm finding that a lot of the healthy foods or low calorie foods are much more expensive than the junk food, that's just so wrong!!!
 
Great job confuzzledwife!

Keep it up, I'll check on you tomorrow. Funny, same thing happened to me. After this lifestyle change, I notice I really feel full, but not too full, not as hungry as I was. And my cravings for junk food have almost gone away.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your name? My name is Kevin

Also, say positive things to yourself all day! It helps and if you think you won't fail you won't...the opposite is true as well. I also noticed a big difference for me was to listen to more positive music, upbeat, happy music.

Also, eat something, wait 20 minutes before you eat something else. It takes time for the part of brain that controls how full you are (I think its the hypothalamus, a pea sized part of the brain), it sends a signal telling you you feel full, but it takes time..
 
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