Gotta get thin!

Here I am, 40 minutes from my weekend.

I'm sitting at work, starving, because my lunch (BK Veggie burger) wasn't satisfying at all. I'm trying my hardest not to get up and go to the bathroom every 20 minutes. I am so bored at work today. There is nothing going on. No sales, no shipping. However, I have to stay until 5 anyway.

I do not want to mess up this weekend. I had such a horrible week (as far as food goes) and I've finally gotten back on track. I don't want to mess it up this weekend.

My in-laws are coming, we'll probably go out to eat a lot. Yikes
 
Hello Kimmy J. I only got to page 5 of your diary, in hopes of reading more of it. I have a lot of trouble with eating Protein. So way to go on the effort!! And thanks for poppin in on my diary!

Have you ever tried talk therapy? Sometimes that can help. Maybe there is a place that isn't costly like somewhere they only ask for a small donation type of thing, for counseling. I find that it can really help me unwind.

I would really like to play with that site too; the simulator but it keeps telling me about unlocking cookies, I've checked my security on here, and I thought it was basically wide open..IDK how to unlock the cookies section, on this Mac. :S boo

Have you been looking into a new type of job? One where you can move around more?

I find that with eggs, I like to eat one b4 I go for a run/shuffle/jog, because it sure seems to give me a bunch more energy and really helps me out in the *long run* haha I made a funny. And than when I get home, I have the rest of my Breakfast!! P.S. I don't like the yolk, but for whatever reason I will eat it because I feel it makes a difference...

Take Care
 
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Hey hey just wanted to stop by and give you a little hello. That sucks about having to stay enev though there is no work. I used to have a job like that and it was so boring. I worked at a bank as the operator it was so bad. All day I just sat there and transfered calls. I have no idea why they even had that position cause they got maybe 20 calls in an 8 hour time period. I was so glad when that job was over. Good luck with the in-laws this weekend. You can be strong and just order the grilled chicken lol. Well I'll ttyl hope your having fun with the fam right now.
 
Alright, so my weekend. It was bad and good at the same time.

Friday, I did awful. I came home and ate FOUR PIECES OF PIZZA and a bunch of candy. Then went out to fast food and got a grilled cheese and a chocolate milk shake, for a grand total of 2600 calories for the day.

Saturday, my husband and I woke up sick as dogs. We slept until 2 and both had flu-like symptoms. I did my best to make myself feel better in order to take care of him. I just didn't feel like doing anything! We had planned on going out to eat with his parents and going to the Jazz/Lakers playoff game. We stayed home. Thank god, cause we lost by about 15 points. We're headed back to LA tonight for [probably] the final game of the series.

So yeah, we ended up sitting around the house Saturday and Sunday watching pieces of the NFL draft. 2 Utes Juniors went in the second round (Paul Kruger and Sean Smith, hell, I will miss Sean Smith - He's a Dolphin now!)

I stayed within calories on Saturday and Sunday. I've lost between 2.5 and 3 pounds in the past 4 weeks. I read a recommendation that I should base my weight loss by pounds lost in a month, because a woman's cycle messes with your weight so much. So this is better. I at least feel like I've lost some, even though I've done nothing but gain every day for the past week or so.

Well, I'm feeling better now. I'm sick of my job. I've only been here for 9 months or so, but I feel like it's time for a change. I don't want to leave until we've bought a house though.
 
My stats!
24, Married, Female in Sandy, UT. I'm 5'2".
Highest weight: 152 lbs (BMI 27.8 - Jan 06)
High school weight: 118.
Goal weight: 112 (BMI 21.5)
Current weight: 119.4 lbs


Date of last binge: Friday October 30th.
 
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I dyed my hair yesterday. =)

I took this picture while I was walking to my car, facing the sun, with my cell phone. Can't expect much...

I'm having a good day. I think the PMSing has finally subsided.
 
i like your new hair color and i'm glad you're feeling better! (i came home from work early today...the first time in my entire life. stupid flu-like symptoms along w/ the last couple days of PMS. i'm disappointed cause i really wanted to go running later.)

i might use that binge idea too. maybe if i've went so long without binging (like eating a million slices of pizza like i always want to), i'll reward myself with something non-food related. the longer i go without a binge, the better the reward. maybe that'll work.
 
RunningGirl said:

Have you ever tried talk therapy? Sometimes that can help. Maybe there is a place that isn't costly like somewhere they only ask for a small donation type of thing, for counseling. I find that it can really help me unwind.
Click to expand...

I've never thought about that. It might help. I've definitely had a lot of ED tendencies, but I *think* I'm getting better. My husband was a psych major, and very helpful most of the time, he's good to talk to about most things....but I hold back sometimes because I don't want him to worry.

RunningGirl said:

I would really like to play with that site too; the simulator but it keeps telling me about unlocking cookies, I've checked my security on here, and I thought it was basically wide open..IDK how to unlock the cookies section, on this Mac. :S boo
Click to expand...

The only thing I don't like about the simulator is that it won't let you go under a "healthy" BMI. Not that I want to, I just want to SEE what it would look like. Also, it doesn't take into account "fat rolls" (like you were talking about the double boobs in your journal_...but yeah, the simulator definitely doesn't show stuff like that. Just the little imperfections that you notice at your current weight.

RunningGirl said:

Have you been looking into a new type of job? One where you can move around more?
Click to expand...

I've been keeping my eye out for a new type of job. I worked in fast food for 6 years, and that always kept me busy and on my feet. I love my current job as it's the perfect hours (for me). I work close to home and my husband and I can carpool to work, so for those reasons, it's hard to give up this job.

RunningGirl said:

I find that with eggs, I like to eat one b4 I go for a run/shuffle/jog, because it sure seems to give me a bunch more energy and really helps me out in the *long run* haha I made a funny. And than when I get home, I have the rest of my Breakfast!! P.S. I don't like the yolk, but for whatever reason I will eat it because I feel it makes a difference...
Click to expand...

I will try to eat the eggs before my workouts and see if I can feel a difference. I also, don't like eating the yolk...not so much the taste, as the cholesterol that I've recently learned about and am trying to stay away from.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by RunningGirl! I appreciate all your input!
 
Shep03 said:
i like your new hair color and i'm glad you're feeling better! (i came home from work early today...the first time in my entire life. stupid flu-like symptoms along w/ the last couple days of PMS. i'm disappointed cause i really wanted to go running later.)

i might use that binge idea too. maybe if i've went so long without binging (like eating a million slices of pizza like i always want to), i'll reward myself with something non-food related. the longer i go without a binge, the better the reward. maybe that'll work.
Click to expand...

Wow. The flu-like thing is definitely going around. I had to take an early lunch today so I could bring my husband home from work early today.

Mmmm Pizza is so good.
 
kimmy.j said:
Wow. The flu-like thing is definitely going around. I had to take an early lunch today so I could bring my husband home from work early today.

Mmmm Pizza is so good.
Click to expand...


lol, ughhh...i know! it's my weakness. i'd take pizza over cake or cookies anyday. my mom made 'homemade' pizza the other day and i had some, but i wouldn't consider that a binge...it's probably a million times healthier than what i get at a restaurant (although i prefer the restaurant kind)
 
I like cookies, too, and I can't have just one...I pretty much stay away from them entirely now.

I have officially been counting calories for two months now. From day 1 until now, I have lost 8 pounds. I have eaten an average of 1393 kcals per day (including my binges).

This means my calorie deficit, on average, has been 459 (without accounting for muscle loss).

I'm assuming this also means that my body burns an average of 1852 kcals per day.

I'm not sure to tell if I'm losing muscle mass, but I think my body looks much better, so I must be doing something right. I'm still reading about the science behind all of this. It's SO interesting to me. I hope someday my brain can grasp it all.
 
I hope that one day I'll be able to look at myself in the mirror and think, "my body looks pretty good now"

Must be great to feel that now! :)
 
I hope that one day, you can feel like that too!



I've finally lost my back "rolls". If I arch my back a little, there were these big huge rolls of fat back there....for the most part, they are gone entirely...they are now merely "creases". I like that. I'm almost there, but I will never stop watching what I eat.
 
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Hey Kimmy
Sorry to hear that you felt so yucky over the weekend and that your hubby hasn't quite gotten over it yet.
I had a sucky weekend as well.
Both on Friday and Sunday I didn't eat anything until 12 or 1 in the afternoon. So I basically skipped breakfast. Which then set me up for mini-binges. Happens evertime. :(

Today hasn't been much better either.
It has been a very emotional few days and I am sure that is where my comfort food cravings are coming from.

Hopefully I can get back on track after the funeral tomorrow.

Glad to hear that you are feeling better about yourself. That is always a huge confidence booster. :)
 
Yesterday:

Breakfast: 1 packet oatmeal (120)
Lunch: 1/2 cup tomato soup, cheese sandwich (400)
Snack: 1 packet oatmeal (120)
Dinner: Spaghetti (500)
Binge: 1 packet oatmeal (120) reeses pieces (300) snickers (150) mini chocolate egg (70) cup of hot chocolate (120)
Total: 1900.

No wonder I can't lose a pound. I'm so depressed right now.
 
I'm sorry to everyone who has to put up with my diary being at the top always because I post 100 times a day.

I can't believe today is real.
I just can't believe it.
I can't believe I am unemployed.
I can't believe how much candy I ate last night.
I can't believe I started eating it again this morning.
I can't believe I'm wearing size 3 (no stretch) jeans right now.
I can't believe I've been laid off.
I can't believe I'm job hunting again.
I hate this.
I can't stop tearing up.
I don't know why.
I know this is for the best.
But WHY!?
 
I just came back from my work lunch break.

I didn't eat anything. I'm not hungry. Hopefully I'll be okay until I go home at 5pm.

Meeting with the realtor tonight. We found a house we love at a price we love, too. Hopefully we'll be putting in an offer! I'm not excited because my job future is wacky.
 
oh kimmy! i'm so sorry to hear about your getting laid off! especially the way things are with the whole credit crunch biting us all in the a$$! i really hope you'll be able to find something soon. all the best hun xoxo


kimmy.j said:
I'm sorry to everyone who has to put up with my diary being at the top always because I post 100 times a day.

I can't believe today is real.
I just can't believe it.
I can't believe I am unemployed.
I can't believe how much candy I ate last night.
I can't believe I started eating it again this morning.
I can't believe I'm wearing size 3 (no stretch) jeans right now.
I can't believe I've been laid off.
I can't believe I'm job hunting again.
I hate this.
I can't stop tearing up.
I don't know why.
I know this is for the best.
But WHY!?
Click to expand...
 
Thanks Cherry.

I've been trying to keep my head up about it. I've already turned in 4 applications today (3 online, 1 in person). It's really hard because we are going to look at our dream house tonight and were hoping to put an offer. I think if we love the house, we will put an offer no matter what, as we've been approved for the loan already.

We'll see. It's very worrisome.

All I've eaten today was a handful of reeses pieces and 1 packet of oatmeal. At least I'll make calories today, as long as I don't binge tonight.

I'm very, very sad to be losing my job.
 
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