Go Healthy or Go Home! [Weight Loss Diary, Take 2]

You are doing AMAZING after your couple of bad days! (Sorry still slowly catching up on diaries). And good for you for having the strength and courage to own up to your mistakes. Don't let your past get you down, and if you slip up in the future simply accept it and move forward like you have been lately.

You are doing so great! :D
 
Thanks, Icy :)

I have decided that I'm only human, and although I wish I were a superhero, I will always have the chance of making a mistake. It's okay, though, because I know that I will always get back on the horse and keep going.

Yesterday was a rough day, as it turns out. Not only does it get really busy at the other store I work at, but I didn't get a lot of sleep. So I barely had a chance to eat, and I was so tired all day. My boss then said he wanted me to go with him to Acadia (the store I work at most days of the week). He talked with my co-worker, who I had told my boss that he was slacking off and smooching his girlfriend behind the counter at work. Suffice to say, I felt awkward and guilty, because he got a shift cut for his slacking off.

He and I used to hang out with his other friends, and he's a good kid, just a bit scatterbrained and all over the place (school, social, girlfriend and work on his plate). I stayed until my boss left, feeling horrible, to talk with him. He agreed that he's been doing a bit much, but I have a feeling he was also hurt that he got a shift cut.

I ended up eating my emotions (2300 calories) which is still below my maximum, but still. I walked home, had dinner, and basically went to bed. I felt kind of depressed about it all.

Got woken up several times over night. The power went off and on at 4AM and then a fire truck and police car arrived at our neighbors at 5AM. No idea what happened. It wasn't the best sleep ever, so I'm a tad exhausted. Going to force myself onto the treadmill.

My TOM is due in a week. I always get incredibly irritable and depressed around this time. I hope to not let it get to me, and just use exercise to get over it. Sometimes I just want to be alone...but I can't always have that.

Oh well, I think I'll leave it at that...
 
Thanks, Cory :)

I've been a little bleh about updating the journal. I do a lot of my logging in the challenge thread, so I'm not slacking, just unmotivated!

On the 31st I didn't eat as clean as I'd like >.< my boyfriend and I went to Wendy's with his son. I ordered what I usually do and found that I can't eat like I used to! I wish I would learn my lesson, because on the 1st I had a date night with my boyfriend (no kids this weekend). He missed going out with me.

I had steak and fries but I ate so much I got the hiccups and I felt like I was going to burst. I have always had issues with portions. I hate leaving food on my plate, it was something I would get in trouble for as a kid. We then went to see The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which was an awesome movie. I ate half a bag of popcorn and some candies. Needless to say, it was a very bad day food wise.

I turned it around though. Last night the lady from the pizza place came by with two slices (these slices are FULL of meat). I texted my boyfriend, and he said he would eat them, so I bundled them up, took them home, and had a chicken breast with veggies. I felt very proud of myself for that.

Unfortunately, my treadmill won't turn on, so we have to get that sorted out tomorrow with customer service. I'm going to make lemonade out of lemons though, and walk to work instead of just walking home. That will get me 40min of walking in. I'll also use my new dumbbells and resistance band I bought when I get home.

Today I woke up early! I almost never wake up this early, but it also meant I was hungry hours before I planned to eat. My boyfriend was thinking of taking the kids to Arby's and he said if I ate less than I usually do I could go. I added up calories, I thought on it, and I told myself "Becca, you already feel bad for Friday's food, do you want to walk into TOPS on Tuesday and be UP?" so I told him no, had a little bag of chips (150 calories) and watched Extreme Weight Loss. I feel incredibly proud for having said no.

The big thing is that, my boyfriend has been sad about my restrictions. I refuse to go to McDonalds or any other fast food place. We got into a bit of a serious talk over it last night at work. He wishes I could just go to McDonalds and sip diet soda with him and not feel the need to have the food. I have a lot of emotional stuff to work through, and explained that in maybe 3 months time I'll be there. Until then I don't want to put myself in a position where I'm going to cheat. I got where I am today because that's what I did.

Anyway! Bit of a long one, but I'm all caught up :).
 
It's hard to spend a lot of time around someone who isn't also trying to eat better and moderate portions as well. I go through some of the same struggles with my brother. He'll want to eat out or cook something that I'm just not willing to eat and I have to tell him 'no.' It makes me feel bad, but my goals are important. Yours are too and I think it's important to remember that. :]
 
Weight issues or not fast food is terrible for your health. I get that it's cheap, but it's not good. If you develop your palate by eating better quality and healthier food, eventually fast food won't be a temptation. You two just need to find something new that you both like and is easier to fit into your diet. Vietnamese and Ethiopian food are both delicious and inexpensive and you can eat very healthy at both. His kiddo certainly complicates things, but it's worth a shot.
 
Thanks for replying :)

I've encouraged him to cook at home, and he has been doing that more often than he used to. The issue is that he has terrible time management skills, so it's hard for him to do more than one or two things at once. When the kids are misbehaving and he's trying to control them it's too much stress to also cook for himself. It's too much just to cook for them! I noticed this early on, and I'm trying to help, but I have my own issues...

Anyway, we had another talk the other day and I told him that if he wants to have a date night we could cook together, watch a movie on the TV. When it gets warmer out we can go for walks along the river, and he liked that. So I think he just has to adjust to the new, healthier lifestyle.

Trust me, I know fast food is horrible. It's also horrible for him, because he's diabetic, and he eats more carbs than I'd like him to. I'm going to try to get him to eat better day by day until he prefers the healthy fresh foods and not the greasy crap.

Finally back down to 271.8 which is where I was a week ago. I'm gonna hit my goals now, because I'm choosing ME and not the food.

Also thinking of doing a video blog, just short videos, because visual progress can be even more rewarding :).

My TOPS meeting may go iffy, because I may have weighed 271.8 at home but if I weigh in later in the day I'll gain a lb or two and plus my clothing...so it'll look like I gained. I'll have to tough it out and understand that I'm human and I can't be perfect.
 
You have to take care of yourself which can feel like being selfish at times, but it really isn't. The only success my wife and I have ever had on influencing each other to change has been through example. You take care of yourself and you will feel better and have more energy and it becomes contagious. You're helping him by getting yourself healthier. Focus on you and it will rub off on him in time.
 
So true, Q. Hey! That rhymed!

So, at my TOPS meeting I was down half a pound. I'll take it! I want to have a loss every week, even if it's half a pound. I'm enjoying this competitiveness, it keeps me on my toes.
 
So I hit 270 again! I'm on fire. I just wish that I could lose all the weight right now >=[.

The one thing that worries me is that I'm going to end up with loose skin. I mean, chances are it's inevitable. I already feel a little loose skin under my arms, probably from gaining and losing weight like I have (and on my thighs). My plan is to keep going, get to my ideal weight, and look into skin surgery. I'll save up and figure out financing so that I can finally have the body I've wanted all my life. I don't care if I sound shallow. I want to wear a bikini!

I've been tossing the idea around to video blog around in my head for a few days, and I think I'm gonna do it tonight. I have a video from 2009 I put on youtube, but sadly, that video is of me 10lb lighter than I am now!

Anyway, off to finish my work day and trek home.
 
Nice job hitting 270. I kind of see losing the extra skin in the same light as throwing out the clothes that are too big. I figure i will have a better perspective when I get to that point, but I can't see ever doing elective surgery personally. Never say never though. Good luck with the vblog.
 
As bad as this sounds, whenever I see my boyfriend naked, I think of what will happen to me.

He was a big guy, at LEAST close to 300lb. When his wife left him and he had to take care of the kids almost full time, he lost weight, and is now at 150lb. He lost it really quickly because he wasn't eating. He spent more time taking care of the kids and sleeping than anything else. Now he has a lot of loose skin and...I just can't seem to look past it. I feel bad about that, but he knows that I want to be with him for more than physical reasons. I just don't want to look like that.

As you pointed out, I'll get a better perspective when I get there ;).
 
I'm not an expert but I think, if you lose weight slowly and use your muscles while doing so, you won't have a lot of loose skin. You look young, skin has a lot of memory and elasticity when you're young... I remember watching a show about people who lost weight quickly...surgery/liquid diets...it was all about the diet and not about the exercise...they needed surgery...I'm old, and I've learned over the years that it's best not to worry about the future...worry about now, about taking care of yourself, doing what's good for you and what makes you happy now...Sure, save your money for the surgery but I bet you'll be spending it on other things!
 
You might get loose skin - you might not... I have tons of it - but know that I am a whole lot healthier than I was when I was big.

There are things that we can all do to help our skin - lose weight slowly, exercise, cream our skin regularly, drink lots of water, make sure that we have some healthy fat in our diet (as a little healthy fat in the diet can be good).

Despite all that - age and genetics play its part too - and we can end up with lose skin...

I can however give you hope - you are young...

A young girl called Invariant used to post on these boards and she lost a lot of weight... I know that it was very similar to the 168 pounds that I lost at that same time...

Anyway - she ended up with no loose skin. Here is a link to where she secretly posted start / end photos so you can see the dramatic change that she made to her weight...
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/19373-My-Story

This demonstrates that you may end up with no loose skin...
 
Thanks, Omega. I'm hoping I won't have any issues. I know I'll be happy either way, but I do like to plan for the future. It's one of my faults lol. I have a TON of stretchmarks, more than I used to have, so those concern me. Either way, I'll be SO happy to wear smaller clothes, so I'd consider it a win no matter what happens to my body.

I'm also going to save up so I can climb Mount Kilimanjaro, so I'll probably do that before I do anything else!

Does anyone know if losing 3-4lb in a week is too much? That's how much I've been aiming for. I'm also doing some light weight exercises.
 
About 3 pounds a week should be fine for you.

We always reckon that 1% per week is a perfectly healthy rate to lose weight... 2.7 pounds seems close enough to 3 to be perfectly ok as I see it.
 
I don’t think you sound shallow at all! We all deserve to be happy so if that’s what you feel you need to do than you do it! I will say though, that I think we’re always going to find certain things about ourselves that we don’t like. I think that’s just human nature. Some things we’ll be able to fix. Others, we can’t. Just try to make sure thing are kept in balance. :)

I think it would be great if your bf got on board with getting into a healthier lifestyle too. It would just be nice to have that kind of a support system. :)

Great job on your weight loss. Keep up the good work!
 
Hi Loch! I just wanted to say good luck on your journey, and wow, you do carry your weight well. I don't believe that's something people are saying just to be polite. Wish I had the courage to post pictures myself, then you would see that our body shapes look kinda similar, except I'm almost flat-chested, and my arms are bigger than yours. I'm curious, do you know which places on your body that slim down first/quickest? Personally, I always lose the most fat from my stomach and chest area first (ironic, since I almost have no boobs to begin with), and then the fat from my back. My arms and my thighs/butt takes much longer. I'll lose 2 inches from my stomach one month, but only 0.2 inches from my thighs. Frustrating, but you can't really do anything with it, can you?

The loose skin problem has been on my mind too. I'm only 21, and I don't want to feel like I've ruined my body forever. The main reason why I'm losing weight is of course for my health, but I can't help but be a little "vain" too. I've thought about surgery if it gets too bad, but then of course I can't do that before I start having babies. But it's like Mandy said, we all deserve to feel happy in our own skin! So if surgery is what it will take in the end, I see nothing wrong with that.
 
I wouldn't worry too much about excess skin. If you lose it slowly it should spring back. It might take a year or two, but you're young and your skin is still pretty elastic.
 
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