A

Well, I will just have to wait and see if I'm any good!
Thats exactly the right davice Joh, thanks. You've made me feel better. However, the bf stormed out the house a couple of hours ago saying he had a flat and wouldn't be coming back. I just wish he'd let me go when it all went wrong a few weeks ago... He is saying that he can't trust me to go to uni when I don't love him in the all-consuming way I used too. He said he wants to be with someone he can trust. I told him that I wouldn't cheat on him while we are together (I wouldn't), but if he doesn't treat me right I couldn't promise not to fall in love with someone else and leave him. Which is honest, but maybe I shouldn't have said it.
But tomorrow is my first day!!! I need to leave on Mondays before the kids to get there in time, I need to leave at half past 8. But if he is not here in the morning I will get there over an hour late on my first day, and I will only be able to stay for half an hour before leaving to pick Lily up from nursery. I said to him fair enough if he wants to move out, but please just stay here tonight so I can do my first day. But he stormed off slamming the door behind him. I don't want to get to my first day late, with all eyes on me... I will be so much more comfortable being one of the first people there.
He has ruined it for me. And I tell you what, I will be so incredibly fuming if he doesn't come back tonight and screws me up, that there will not be a hope in hell for our relationship no matter what he says or does.
He left me with no food in th cupboards AT ALL. No money as he knows I have lost my cashcard. I am just glad I have money in my paypal account so I could order a domino's with it otherwise I would have had to give the kids plain rice or something. No bread, butter, milk. He hasn't left me any cigerettes either. And he isn't answering his phone.
We have been semi arguing all day because of his insecurities. I went out and got 3 huge dairy milks and ate 1 1/2 of them, plus the pizza. And plus eating out for two meals including two desserts yesterday... My diets just been a disaster
Really wish this what the happy time I hoped it would be.