General hysterical diet-related rambling: From Flab to fab; Part two.

I understand how you feel... I'm currently having the "I'll start exercising tomorrow" syndrome, and everything seems to be going to hell.

Be careful there, even if you aren't eating as you would like to, DO NOT completely give up. starting again will be really hard if you do.

Keep calm, stay strong and good luck! :)
 
Good job on reining it in with the portions! It's so tempting to just be like screw it I'm already eating shitty might as well go to town! Especially with that "one last time and I'll start tomorrow" mentality... Clearly not working and thats why were all back on here lol. I survived a binge craving attack last night. A girlfriend of mine who I've known for over ten years just told me at the last minute she didn't want me to come on a weekend trip we've been planning with some other girls for a couple weeks and it was pretty hurtful. She said she was afraid if all four of us went there would end up being drama... so I guess her solution was to tell me to fuck off. I was blind sided by it... don't really know if thats the real reason or something else but regardless i felt pretty low and unwanted. She waited till the last minute, I'd already booked it off work and she didn't even tell me in person sent me a text message.

So anyways I was upset and I do use food as a coping mechanism. I was ready to drive to boston pizza and indulge in the oh so delicious tropical chicken and bacon pizza. But I stopped myself. I don't want 'friends' like that in my life anyways. And was I really going to respond by engaging in self destructive behaviour and putting myself in an worse position? I'm pretty proud of myself for holding it together... Sorry for the novel probably should've posted this in my own diary lol.

Anyways one method I use is to avoid eating crap is to think about what greasy processed food does to your body. Read some gross research or nasty videos. I think of it as poison- which is pretty accurate IMO. My body is getting used to the healthy, mostly unprocessed foods I've been eating. Last cheat meal I had a felt sick after- which is great it discourages me from wanting stuff like that. Next cheat meal I'm planning to have sushi, which should be alot easier on my tummy... Or you can always look at your most unattractive fat pics lol.

Keep it up girl your so close! Your going to beat my ass to one-derland lol jelly!
 
Athalaranger, I am going to take your advice! Had another bad food day today, its a slippery slope to weight gain :(

Ah Slickz, that is shit. Her not being there will cast a shadow over your holiday far worse than any dramas possibly could. WHAT A BITCH! How can she be so sure there will be trouble? Well done on not turning to comfort food :)

Another bad food day for me. It was weigh day today, and I only lost 200 grams :(

I really, really really am getting it together tomorrow though.
 
I've been down that road before. What I'm trying to do is not to make myself feel deprived. I'm trying to eat healthier for the most part, but I will still eat the things I like every so often but try to do it in proper portions. I need something that I can maintain and never having pizza or whatever is not reasonable for me. So yeah, I will go out for a burger now and again, I will just get it with water and not the pop and fries! That saves a bunch of calories, but I still get that burger. That's how I'm looking at it. Maybe it might help you if you had a specific day of the week you eat a lunch or dinner that you really like but that may not be the healthiest choice and just eat a proper portion of it. Knowing that every Saturday (or whatever) you get to have a food you like, may help you not eat that stuff in between.
 
rainbow!!!how are u doing???i am waiting for another video on youtube!!!just hang in there take it step by step you can do this you just have to get through the start , thats the difficult part,breaking through bad habits
hope are managing lots of love to you!!!
 
Jess, in all honesty, right now, I feel like crying. I had such a positive attitude, I truly believed there was only a three month barrier between me and being skinny. It seemed so easy, and so simple. Just a short while of eating well, then I would be happy. The way that I feel right now, is that I don't care what I am eating. This is why I can neveer maintain, because with me, it is all or nothing. This is my third diet where I have lost 20 pounds or more.

Diet 1: From 13 stone 10 to 9 stone 12... Loss... 52 pounds
Diet 2: From 15 stone, to 12 stone... Loss.... 42 pounds
Diet 3: Haven't really talked about this one, but I did lose 15 pound in 5 weeks before... 15 pounds
Diet 4: This diet, loss 20 pounds
= All in all, I have lost 129 pounds/ 57.5 Kilos!

129 pounds, is serious work, serious effort. Its like going from 269 pounds, to 140. Why do I keep on letting myself down again and regaining? I hate myself. Right now, I don't care what I am eating. I do not give a shit, to put it bluntly. I am sure that one day, if not in the near future, I will reach my goal and be skinny. But then what? The inevitable is bound to happen. If I am not on a diet, not excited about being on a diet, I will just gain weight.

The first time that I went on a proper diet and maintained for a long time, I did a lot of exercise. I went to the gym, using almost every machine, plus walked over three miles every day, home from college, plus on my days off, I used to walk a long way into town, and around town all day. I loved to dance, and every evening, I used to play music, and dance for over an hour, looking at myself in the mirror. I used to go on a mini trampoline a couple of times every evening. All this exercise wasn't even effort, I did it without thinking. I cannot, in a million years, ever see myself being that way again.

I don't want to be fat all my life. I don't want to waste the few years of being relatively young that I have left. So why can't I just control my eating?

I was so sure that this time, it would work.
 
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aw rainbow i could have written that myself.I get these feelings too...I remember myself going to the gym in the morning spending nearly 2 hours there then going for a 30 minutes run in the evening ,,,i too can never see myself like that again...and i feel sad about it....i even get so sad when i hear a specific song cause that's the song i used to love running at.i feel like a failure and i feel like i dont have enough time.I think that even if i DO get all this weigh off i will gain it all back AGAIN because i dont know how to maintain.its like i get the weight off and then i go wild.
aw Ruth this is our mistake.THIS IS WHAT WE MUST CHANGE....we must accept the fact that we are going to have to live our lives trying for our healthy weight.A slight gain is ok but we dont stop at a slight weight gain...Can we possibly find the way to understand when we must stop?i am sure there are some tricks we can do to make things easier.To actually maintain at a normal weight.Its just difficult for us because we arent used to this,we will learn though
thing is that you dont like the weight on you.if you did you wouldnt be on here on and off.You say you dont care ,you dont give a shit but you DO.you think you dont and just eat whatever you find because you feel disappointed.because you feel that this is too difficult and stressful for you.I want you to be happy and i also want myself to be happy.And i am not happy right no with the way i look.So no matter how hard this is going to be i am still going to struggle.on and off feeling shit then feeling super slim then feeling fat again.But i am not going to stop because i am already 96 kilos AGAIN nd the only way i am going is up going to 100 kilos...i am 32 years old...god...i cannot be 100 kilos...i still have many years to look great.EVEN AT &) YEARS OLD I DONT WANT TO BE FAT AND UGLY>so really you see we have the rest of our lives to live and be active.Maybe we don't have to go to extremes (like all that training and exercise) but we must try for our best.
My sister is overweight and she is 45.She doesn't have a wrinkle on her face cause of her fat.Anyway a week ago she had pains by her heart.She was taken to the hospital by her husband and the doctor said to her that she must loose at least 40 kilos...and stop smoking or else....she is not going to live long.her heart just cant stand it anymore....

whatever i say it wont change.you know that it will come from in YOU.how about looking at some slim older photos of you?and then just trying to eat healthy instead of diet.Then when you loose the extra weight we will deal with maintain.We will work something out.Lets take it one step at a time and not just so much forward.
You are strong and YOU are in charge of what you eat...no body else
 
Hang in the Ruthie! It IS going to work this time you just got to stick with it. Its not a failure its just a bump on the road.

We have to face the fact that for us, at this point in our lives, we will never be able to just 'eat normally' and maintain a healthy body weight. Its a struggle every single day. We have unhealthy thoughts and behaviours related to food. Its like an illness- you can say you don't care when in your heart you know you do or you deal with it.

Yes it sucks! IT also sucks for people who struggle with addiction, can't ever go have a glass of wine or beer with their friends because of the road it leads too. Or people who have mental or physical illnesses. Its shitty but its just the way we are.

We have to work at it every day to get to the body we want. This is a lifestyle change. For the last couple days of your life you may have eaten shitty food, but that doesn't mean the rest of your life has to be like that! There will be good days and bad days. Just keep making as many good choices as you can and you will start to get used to it and form good habits. Don't beat yourself about it! You will get back on track and get to your goals I know you can do it!

You are my rock on these boards Ruthie I always go to your journal first. Don't give up! Don't get discouraged! Get back on track!

I went from over 250 lbs to 170 in about a year. I had good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, but in the end I never gave up.

And yes I regained some of that weight but I'm not going to let that be my destiny- I'm doing something about it! Believe me we've all been there it sucks having a bad time and feeling guilty and a failure but it happens to everyone and you just have to dust yourself off and get back on track.

I know you can do it sweetie! Just remember slow and steady wins the race. Keep chugging away and you'll get there and never look back <3

Love you girl
 
You CAN do this. I know that feeling, I have been there before. I have lost and regained! But the thing that you need to change is your thinking. Diets don't work, you need a lifestyle change. You need a new way of eating that will be maintainable for the rest of your life! That's how you will be successful. That's what I'm doing this time moreso than last time. I am eating now, how I always will be. I try to make healthier choices, I don't always succeed, but I fit it into my calories if I do make bad choices. I will not deprive myself of foods I like because I know it will not be sustainable in the long term. You don't have to go that route, but what you need to do is to find a way to eat that is healthier, proper portions and something you can do for ever!

Don't go down the downward spiral! I have been through that stupid cycle.... eat bad, get depressed about it, eat bad, gain, get depressed about it, eat bad, gain, get depressed.... etc. etc.... and it's just not worth it. You will have bad days, I will have bad days, but the thing I'm changing is not letting myself think, I did bad this meal, might as well do bad the whole day. Oh I did bad yesterday, whatever, I'll eat what I want today.. NO! That can't be how I think anymore, and same to you! You do bad one meal/one day, the next day needs to be a refresh/restart! It needs to be, ok... how will I do better today!

Yeah sometimes it's not easy to change your way of thinking, but that's how it'll work in the long run. Maybe you should see a therapist or someone like that to talk things through and get to the bottom of why you are sabotaging yourself. They can give you help with how to change those patterns/behavious and understand more about yourself. I know if I was still doing that to myself, I'd go too!

Ok enough from me! I hope I didn't upset you with what I said, but I really hope it helps. So after reading this, go workout!!! :p Or plan your food for the next day so you know what you are eating and won't stray! You can and will do this, but it starts with you! Don't get in your own way!!!
 
:grouphug: Thank you so much guys, you have all said exactly the right things, that have left me feeling renewed motivation and determination :) :) :) Just had a big bacon sandwich, and I was planning on getting ice-cream and sweets later at the cinema, and then have cocktails after, but now I think I am going to take grapes with me, and have diet cokes at the bar.

Got one last uni assigment retake that is due in today, so I need to get to work on that right now, then going out for the evening, but will update properly later xxxxxxx
 
These last couple of weeks I've been in a real down-low when it comes to eating healthy. Been eating a ton of bad food (Chic-Fil-A, McDonalds, ect) and it's not been good. I keep thinking: "Wow, if I had stuck with eating healthy I could had been 155lbs by now! It's really frustrating and lately I haven't felt the need to eat healthy and it's showing.

So yesterday I decided that I wasn't going to fail again! I bought tons of bags of salad and am eating some right now. It's not about focusing on what you've done bad, but what you can do to make it better. Keep positive and know that one day or one bad week isn't the end of the world. You will get there eventually!
 
Good work on not giving into the "screw this" temptation and watching the calories a bit when you can.

As for the let downs, it's hard to know what to say, other than to try as hard as you can to not make this an emotional issue as well as a physical one.Maybe view yourself as a machine that has a bunch of stored energy that needs to be burned off, and so you're going to run at an energy deficit for a while. A machine with a weird accent maybe, but still a machine. :D

Anyway, try and keep your chin up and keep at it. And try not to be so hard on yourself maybe. You seem like a nice enough person, so that puts you well ahead of the game already.
 
Heya Girly

Sorry to hear that you're going thru a self loathing issue :( I'm not much different. We did so well last time and it was so easy. I think we are expecting it to be the same and we will be skinny just like that. I've started to realise that it's just gonna take that bit more determination and some bloody hard work.
Each day at a time my lovely, each day at a time and look at all the awesome people here to help you thru the tough times and cheer you on on the good days.
We can do this sweetie!!!!!

Love and hugs xoxoxoxo
 
Hello my darling Ruth

I am so so so so sorry for the lack of writing to you hun, I haven't been on this in yonks!!!!!!!! I am so sorry you were feeling so down about your dieting/exercising plan. But delira you feel much more positive now hun. Did you ever consider becoming a writer?? I don't know if I said it to you before, but you do have a way with words. I love reading your posts:):)

Also well done on the portion control, I know you might think that you ate AWFUL those days, but I don't think you did, you were brilliant with your portions and you didn't eat the house. I know what it feels like hun, having all these plans and them being lovely in theory but in practice they do not work. I think its defo all about consistency. We need to have 40 days eating amazing, than 3 days eating amazing and 4 days eating shabby.

Anyway keep thinking those positive thoughts hun.

We are all rooting for ya:) Big hugs :grouphug:xxxx
 
hey rainbow....im waiting for you please come back...come on!!!!!
Time will pass anyway so at least let it pass o n here!!!want you back pleeeeeeaaaaseeeee
 
Miss you my favorite! I had a horrible weekend ate badly and drank a bunch and my weigh in on monday was 10 POUNDS higher than the week before! Come back... it feels good to confess. Or if your doing great let your adoring fans celebrate with you :D
 
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