ForRealThisTime Diary of a mad man
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ForRealThisTime
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5 miles down last night, even did a bit of running 
It was very warm out.
Healthy dinner last night, nice fish with garlic and ginger and some roasted vegetables. Followed by some natural yogurt and a little museli for desert.
One more 5 miler tonight and then a long hike tomorrow. The aim is to be at 209 by Monday! Currently at 212.5
It was very warm out.Healthy dinner last night, nice fish with garlic and ginger and some roasted vegetables. Followed by some natural yogurt and a little museli for desert.
One more 5 miler tonight and then a long hike tomorrow. The aim is to be at 209 by Monday! Currently at 212.5
douknowjello
New member
I was reading over your journal but I had to skim over the mexican food stuff though because I'm hungry at the moment and zomg I love mexican food. Ironically my husband would never eat it but we finally got a good restaurant in town after 5 years that tastes more like when I was back home in California and now he decideds he loves it. He wants to eat there every day if he could.
The ginger ale made me curious...guess I'm going to have to google on that one because how would you calculate the calories? And does it taste like gingerale in a bottle you buy? Has to be better for you for sure.
It's funny you talked about people seeing you differently depending on clothing. I can say from experience and different weights that I've had to dress better in the same environment than a thin person would to get the same response. Clothes compensation I guess but I'm so heavy now there's really no compensating. And like you said, people notice the fat first and me second....how could they not? But what really got me in your post was after talking about the gal who sat by you on the plane, even though you remembered her weight, you still said she was very good looking. That really threw me because most people don't make allowances like that for heavy people and being large or "obese" is automatically puts somebody in the unattractive category. Oh yea I heard "you have such a pretty face if only you'd lose the weight" when I was a kid and only 50lbs over, but that's not the same. So wow...I'm going to have to be a regular here in your journal because you post some great stuff and really have an interesting perspective on things.
The ginger ale made me curious...guess I'm going to have to google on that one because how would you calculate the calories? And does it taste like gingerale in a bottle you buy? Has to be better for you for sure.
It's funny you talked about people seeing you differently depending on clothing. I can say from experience and different weights that I've had to dress better in the same environment than a thin person would to get the same response. Clothes compensation I guess but I'm so heavy now there's really no compensating. And like you said, people notice the fat first and me second....how could they not? But what really got me in your post was after talking about the gal who sat by you on the plane, even though you remembered her weight, you still said she was very good looking. That really threw me because most people don't make allowances like that for heavy people and being large or "obese" is automatically puts somebody in the unattractive category. Oh yea I heard "you have such a pretty face if only you'd lose the weight" when I was a kid and only 50lbs over, but that's not the same. So wow...I'm going to have to be a regular here in your journal because you post some great stuff and really have an interesting perspective on things.
ForRealThisTime
New member
Hey there thanks for the reply.
You say I have an interesting perspective on things, I say I have way too many questions that I need answers to before I die! Maybe I over-think things a little but I genuinely find people fascinating and love to know what makes them tick.
Regarding the girl beside me on the plane, she was very good looking indeed and if I am honest I have to say that someones weight has never ever stopped me finding them attractive. I used to work out a lot when I was in my early 20's and was in very good physical shape and dated all sorts of women. Color, weight, nationality etc have never really influenced me in any way. I take people at face value and let them show me who they really are and then I make my mind up, I dare say life would be boring if we only bothered with a certain type of person.
On the point of weight and looks I think there are a lot of very good looking women on TV for example that are heavy. Kirsty Alley being one that just popped in to my mind. I think where it becomes an issue is if people look unwell. Some heavy people can look very unwell and really unhealthy and others have a very healthy glow about them there is an immediate first impression issue if someone looks pale faced/flushed/sick.
Ive always been attracted to extremes. So a woman with massive boobs would catch my eye regardless of the rest of her body or a woman with a tiny chest would also catch my eye, some of my friends think that is a bit odd but hey its me Similarly with height, I have always gone out with girls who are either as tall as me or very short, seldom have I gone out with a girl of average height. I like girls that are a bit different. A guy I worked with before used to call it "the twinkle". He used to say "she has the twinkle". It was something that made her different to all the other girls that were so busy trying to be like each other they forgot that it is important to be an individual. When I think about all the girls I have gone out with, although all very different, each and every one of them had something very unique. You know the quirky girl with the funky glasses or the naturally good looking girl who doesnt need to wear makeup and when she goes out and gets dressed up she looks VERY hot.
Anyway I am rambling again, whoops!
Oh just one more thing (said in the style of Columbo). I was back in Europe recently and noticed something I had never really noticed before. So many girls were walking around an odd shade of orange. It was very obviously fake tan and looked so so so so wrong. Having lived in a warm part of the world for a while most of the girls have natural tans and when I went back to Europe here are girls who live in a cold climate attempting to look super tanned! Their shade of orange was so dark and weird looking it would be even very out of place in a hot climate. I found myself noticing girls with pale skin and thinking "oooo she looks nice". I guess some people just want to be whatever they are not.... the grass is always greener...
thanks for the reply.You say I have an interesting perspective on things, I say I have way too many questions that I need answers to before I die! Maybe I over-think things a little but I genuinely find people fascinating and love to know what makes them tick.
Regarding the girl beside me on the plane, she was very good looking indeed and if I am honest I have to say that someones weight has never ever stopped me finding them attractive. I used to work out a lot when I was in my early 20's and was in very good physical shape and dated all sorts of women. Color, weight, nationality etc have never really influenced me in any way. I take people at face value and let them show me who they really are and then I make my mind up, I dare say life would be boring if we only bothered with a certain type of person.
On the point of weight and looks I think there are a lot of very good looking women on TV for example that are heavy. Kirsty Alley being one that just popped in to my mind. I think where it becomes an issue is if people look unwell. Some heavy people can look very unwell and really unhealthy and others have a very healthy glow about them there is an immediate first impression issue if someone looks pale faced/flushed/sick.
Ive always been attracted to extremes. So a woman with massive boobs would catch my eye regardless of the rest of her body or a woman with a tiny chest would also catch my eye, some of my friends think that is a bit odd but hey its me
Similarly with height, I have always gone out with girls who are either as tall as me or very short, seldom have I gone out with a girl of average height. I like girls that are a bit different. A guy I worked with before used to call it "the twinkle". He used to say "she has the twinkle". It was something that made her different to all the other girls that were so busy trying to be like each other they forgot that it is important to be an individual. When I think about all the girls I have gone out with, although all very different, each and every one of them had something very unique. You know the quirky girl with the funky glasses or the naturally good looking girl who doesnt need to wear makeup and when she goes out and gets dressed up she looks VERY hot.Anyway I am rambling again, whoops!
Oh just one more thing (said in the style of Columbo). I was back in Europe recently and noticed something I had never really noticed before. So many girls were walking around an odd shade of orange. It was very obviously fake tan and looked so so so so wrong. Having lived in a warm part of the world for a while most of the girls have natural tans and when I went back to Europe here are girls who live in a cold climate attempting to look super tanned! Their shade of orange was so dark and weird looking it would be even very out of place in a hot climate. I found myself noticing girls with pale skin and thinking "oooo she looks nice". I guess some people just want to be whatever they are not.... the grass is always greener...
ForRealThisTime
New member
An Afternoon Thought
Is it harder to remain at the weight I am at or to lose weight. I have been thinking about this and the reality is that there is actually a decent amount of effort involved in maintaining weight or gaining weight. We all seem to put an emphasis on how difficult it can be to lose weight but never seem to consider that there is significant effort involved in being overweight.
Tonight for example I could go for my 5 mile walk or I could sit in front of the TV. One is a healthy option and one is not. Sitting in front of the TV will still use as much time out of my evening as going for a walk so the reality is going for the walk is not taking any more time out of my day.
When I go to the store I can buy shit or I can buy good food. I still have to go to the store and pick stuff up, it takes the same effort.
When I cook dinner I have to maybe put something in the oven, this could be a pizza which I have to take out of the packaging or it could be some nice fish which I need to sprinkle some seasoning on, it takes roughly the same amount of effort.
If I want a drink right now I have to walk to the fridge, the option to have a coke or have water are both available to me so I need to make the choice but the effort involved is the same.
I am being overly simplistic here but I am a firm believer that the way you look at a situation can have a drastic impact on the way you handle a situation. I am now in the frame of mind that eating well and exercising take a roughly equal amount of effort to eating badly and not exercising.
A light just went on in my head.
Is it harder to remain at the weight I am at or to lose weight. I have been thinking about this and the reality is that there is actually a decent amount of effort involved in maintaining weight or gaining weight. We all seem to put an emphasis on how difficult it can be to lose weight but never seem to consider that there is significant effort involved in being overweight.
Tonight for example I could go for my 5 mile walk or I could sit in front of the TV. One is a healthy option and one is not. Sitting in front of the TV will still use as much time out of my evening as going for a walk so the reality is going for the walk is not taking any more time out of my day.
When I go to the store I can buy shit or I can buy good food. I still have to go to the store and pick stuff up, it takes the same effort.
When I cook dinner I have to maybe put something in the oven, this could be a pizza which I have to take out of the packaging or it could be some nice fish which I need to sprinkle some seasoning on, it takes roughly the same amount of effort.
If I want a drink right now I have to walk to the fridge, the option to have a coke or have water are both available to me so I need to make the choice but the effort involved is the same.
I am being overly simplistic here but I am a firm believer that the way you look at a situation can have a drastic impact on the way you handle a situation. I am now in the frame of mind that eating well and exercising take a roughly equal amount of effort to eating badly and not exercising.
A light just went on in my head.
douknowjello
New member
Well I do think some of that takes a bit more effort or at least planning but I do see your point. Kind of along a related thought, I saw a comment once that the time is going to pass regardless. So even though the time its going to take to lose the weight looks long and daunting, the time will go by each day anyway so I might as well put in the effort. Thinking about what you said though just reinforces what I was telling myself earlier in my own journal, I really need to do some planning ahead before I hit a bump in the road, so I DO make the better choices. Hope your day is goin good
ForRealThisTime
New member
Hey I think you are bang on the money about the time seeming long but in reality it is not. I am looking at it like this. I have been overweight for maybe 6 years now. It has taken me 6 years to get to this weight and I could potentially lose it in 6 months... when you look at it like that it doesnt seem a long time.
I skipped my 5 mile walk last night as I had a big blister on my heel and had a hike planned for today so wanted to let it heal up a little. Today I hiked across a very steep mountain in extreme humidity. I feel drained but feel like it was worth it. I am going to weigh in now, dont think I will be 209 by Monday like I wanted to be but ya never know it might happen
Still in great spirits and still excited about taking this challenge on, new me is being born before my very eyes
I think you are bang on the money about the time seeming long but in reality it is not. I am looking at it like this. I have been overweight for maybe 6 years now. It has taken me 6 years to get to this weight and I could potentially lose it in 6 months... when you look at it like that it doesnt seem a long time.I skipped my 5 mile walk last night as I had a big blister on my heel and had a hike planned for today so wanted to let it heal up a little. Today I hiked across a very steep mountain in extreme humidity. I feel drained but feel like it was worth it. I am going to weigh in now, dont think I will be 209 by Monday like I wanted to be but ya never know it might happen
Still in great spirits and still excited about taking this challenge on, new me is being born before my very eyes
ForRealThisTime
New member
I had wanted to be down to 209 by tomorrow but despite hiking yesterday and today I am still at 212. Im not really bothered though as the hike I did today told me a lot about my fitness level. I remember doing the very same hike up this mountain about 6 months ago and I had to stop 3 times on the way up as it is very steep. Well today in 90+ degree heat I didnt have to stop once so all the hiking I have been doing is really paying off.
My food intake over the weekend has been a bit more than during the week but I dont care, I work hard during the week and like my time off at the weekend plus the two hikes have to cancel out a large proportion of it.
So here I am on a Sunday staring in to another week of low calorie intake and 5 mile walks and you know what... I am looking forward to it! I am in this for the long haul and must remain positive.
PS: the ginger ale was repulsive... I will stick to blending root ginger and ice as it is much nicer and really refreshing.
My food intake over the weekend has been a bit more than during the week but I dont care, I work hard during the week and like my time off at the weekend plus the two hikes have to cancel out a large proportion of it.
So here I am on a Sunday staring in to another week of low calorie intake and 5 mile walks and you know what... I am looking forward to it! I am in this for the long haul and must remain positive.
PS: the ginger ale was repulsive... I will stick to blending root ginger and ice as it is much nicer and really refreshing.
ForRealThisTime
New member
Thanks Lucy!
Well I said I wanted to be at 209 by today and unfortunately it didnt happen but after my daily walk I am now at 210.8 which I am really happy with. One or two more days and I will be in the 209's
I am now more than one third the way to my goal. Ive come too far to not go all the way.
Well I said I wanted to be at 209 by today and unfortunately it didnt happen but after my daily walk I am now at 210.8 which I am really happy with. One or two more days and I will be in the 209's
I am now more than one third the way to my goal. Ive come too far to not go all the way.
ForRealThisTime
New member
You know people say they eat when they get emotional well I just feel sick. My girlfriend of over three years and I have decided to take some time apart as some issues have been getting between us for a while now. She will be going back to our home country tomorrow, 3 thousand miles away.
Both of us feel sick and havent had dinner since Friday. We decided to go out for some dinner tonight, I cant imagine there will be much reason to choose the healthy option as I dont think I will eat much of whatever is put in front of me.
You know in life this situation doesnt happen very many times, when you split up with someone who you are this close to. It feels like I am about to lose a significant part of me. It could be a lot worse and could be on bad terms, it is not and we could end up back together some time but watching someone pack all of their things up is very sad.
The weather has just turned very bad outside with thunder roaring and it seems very appropriate. I am not writing this for sympathy, I have been through this once before in my life and have dealt with it so I dont need anyone to tell me it gets better and be strong, I just find that writing stuff on here gets it out of my head and in to black and white which seems to help.
So who knows where things go from here, sometimes in order to help someone be happy you have to first make them sad. Issues need to be dealt with or they just fester and eventually emerge worse than before. This is a period of resolution, things will be resolved. We will end up as better more content people and perhaps will then get back together and be happier. Right now I know I am ready to be out of a relationship and away from women for a while. I need a bit of me time, some time for self reflection.
Both of us feel sick and havent had dinner since Friday. We decided to go out for some dinner tonight, I cant imagine there will be much reason to choose the healthy option as I dont think I will eat much of whatever is put in front of me.
You know in life this situation doesnt happen very many times, when you split up with someone who you are this close to. It feels like I am about to lose a significant part of me. It could be a lot worse and could be on bad terms, it is not and we could end up back together some time but watching someone pack all of their things up is very sad.
The weather has just turned very bad outside with thunder roaring and it seems very appropriate. I am not writing this for sympathy, I have been through this once before in my life and have dealt with it so I dont need anyone to tell me it gets better and be strong, I just find that writing stuff on here gets it out of my head and in to black and white which seems to help.
So who knows where things go from here, sometimes in order to help someone be happy you have to first make them sad. Issues need to be dealt with or they just fester and eventually emerge worse than before. This is a period of resolution, things will be resolved. We will end up as better more content people and perhaps will then get back together and be happier. Right now I know I am ready to be out of a relationship and away from women for a while. I need a bit of me time, some time for self reflection.
Alta818
New member
Sorry to hear that....
....You time is the best right now, if that's how you feel. Introspection is always the way to an inner guidance. Watching someone pack their bags is hard....
I moved out of my bf place 3 going on 4 months ago now. We are still together and much better...but it hurt after living together for 5 years and 2 months.
Space is always the answer, when nothing else is.
....You time is the best right now, if that's how you feel. Introspection is always the way to an inner guidance.
Watching someone pack their bags is hard....I moved out of my bf place 3 going on 4 months ago now. We are still together and much better...but it hurt after living together for 5 years and 2 months.
Space is always the answer, when nothing else is.
ForRealThisTime
New member
Thanks Alta, I agree that space is going to help a lot.
ForRealThisTime
New member
And thats that... back from the airport and in my very quiet apartment. I am going to have a nice dinner and a few beers and maybe blaze and watch something funny
Tomorrow I will be back to my hard working self and will be doing my 5 mile walks again. I am going to use this time on my own to work on my weight loss. I am going to turn a potentially negative situation in to a positive.
Tomorrow I will be back to my hard working self and will be doing my 5 mile walks again. I am going to use this time on my own to work on my weight loss. I am going to turn a potentially negative situation in to a positive.
! Absolutely!douknowjello
New member
I never know what to say in these situations...when I try it comes out horribly wrong. But I hope we keep seeing you on here even though you're going through all this. *hugz*
ForRealThisTime
New member
Back and ready for action
I took the rest of last week off to deal with relationship stuff and am now starting fresh today. I am busy with work and plan on getting back in to my walking starting this evening. I havent weighed myself for the past week but I bet I am a couple of pounds up. I need a couple of months of uninterrupted time to get really in to this and it looks like thats what I have now.
So... back on track and ready for action.
I took the rest of last week off to deal with relationship stuff and am now starting fresh today. I am busy with work and plan on getting back in to my walking starting this evening. I havent weighed myself for the past week but I bet I am a couple of pounds up. I need a couple of months of uninterrupted time to get really in to this and it looks like thats what I have now.
So... back on track and ready for action.
!