Floater's diary

Interesting. Might be heading towards a zero sleep night. Seems to happen often after a period of tougher time and the first day of getting back on track. Like my alertness kicks in overdrive after a slump!
 
I managed to sleep from 8 AM to noon. The terrifying sex nurse sent me a list of available dates, let's hope she approves my suggestions. Our last appointment will be on 6.6., I guess this is one way to spend half a year.
 
If it has to happen it's best to get it over with. Procrastination just makes things more stressful.
 
Llama said:
If it has to happen it's best to get it over with. Procrastination just makes things more stressful.
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Trust me, I picked the earliest dates I could.

She just vacations A LOT, and requires at least one week between each session, a month between the last two ones so she has time to write her statement about whether she thinks I'm trans or not.

I hate that clown already.
 
Llama said:
Oh wow, she´s really making good use of her monopoly position.
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My thoughts exactly.

I have eaten three baked potatoes with cheese, and just got home with two cheese buns. Today will most likely be carb-heavy, but fed is best. I updated my care plan/wishes in the national health e-database. Not much to change, but it's always good to check it and update it regularly, holds more sway in the case of hospitalization or other crisis!
 
Floater said:
Not much to change, but it's always good to check it and update it regularly, holds more sway in the case of hospitalization or other crisis!
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I´d say it shows you´re aware of your needs and care about your own well-being. Should be a bonus.
 
Had a meeting with a team of social workers earlier. It went well, but I'm very dissociated. I have only eaten two small potatoes today and that made me gag. (I understand that to most folks plain potatoes would not sound appetizing, but frankly the taste was the only thing I could imagine keeping down.)

I'm in a headspace where I seem to exist as snippets of auditory and visual memories more than as a functioning person. Woke up at 4AM having "Nancy Boy" by Placebo play in my head, word for word and chord for chord. I haven't listened to that band in a decade. Our brains are amazing, aren't they?

Plan for today: walk to the supermarket, buy a bag of potato chips and a carton of orange juice. By the way my skin sticks up after squeezing it, I must be dehydrated, but I don't feel thirsty or hungry. This tells me I'm approaching a state of hypo alertness, so light exercise, salt, hydration, and simple carbs are a necessity right now, no matter how much I don't want any of those things.

Nera is back on solid food and she loves her new puppy kibble. She peed the bed once today, but it should get better as she transitions to kibble versus wet food. We had a long walk earlier today, and she seems happy and energetic, so that's great at least!
 
I'm with you on having to force food down today. It sucks. (Thankfully I can at least appreciate the flavors and it's just my brain screaming bloody murder at the idea of adding anything into my cramping belly.) I'm so glad Nera is doing better in time to keep you motivated to take good care of yourself when things are so hard.
 
Thanks LaMa! I'm happy to report that I bought a cheap salmon sandwich and ate it on my way back home. It wasn't enjoyable but it wasn't terrible either. I also had some chips and plenty of water once I got back home. I'll take Nera out for a walk soon, and after that I might try to eat some potatoes and tuna. I also bought avocadoes, but they are not ripe yet, so that will have to wait.

I hope your appetite gets back soon and that the cramps subside. I have some lower back pain, I think it's harmless just from clenching my muscles, but I definitely need to stay hydrated!
 
I booked a vet appointment for Nera on Monday. I'll need to take a pee sample and she'll have her kidneys checked. She drinks and pees constantly, so the anesthesia may have caused kidney damage/failure.

Needless to say, I'm not OK. But it is my responsibility to make sure she doesn't suffer.
 
Not sure that would be a kidney problem. I'm no expert if course but as long as intake and output are balanced the kidneys would seem to be fine. Maybe the puppy kibble is making her more thirsty?
 
Llama said:
Not sure that would be a kidney problem. I'm no expert if course but as long as intake and output are balanced the kidneys would seem to be fine. Maybe the puppy kibble is making her more thirsty?
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In dogs, apparently, unusual thirst and excessive urination are the first sign of renal failure and the vet said it's urgent to get checked. Of course I'm not abandoning all hope yet! But better safe than sorry. If it is indeed a kidney issue, I need to know, so I can make the best decisions for her.

I have been crying a lot. Got myself a bottle of whiskey and some gross sandwiches. I do hope I'm wrong and the old lady still has years on this Earth, even if I need to do laundry thrice a day 😅
 
I have eaten potato chips and a supermarket sandwich. A bit of ham, too. I feel like my priorities are now organized: stay as calm and normal as possible, take Nera to the vet on Monday, and worry later.
 
That's all you can do for now. Best of luck for the both of you!
 
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