Fit, sexy and healthy. How much do I want it? Josie's journey ~

jmlw7

New member
Hey all, I'm not exactly new here, but just cant find my old account. New username, new beginnings I suppose! :seeya:


My story is pretty frustrating to me, as I've had ups and downs with my weight, going all the way from a pant size 8 to a 4, back up to a 10, and now at 10-12 at 5'3" and 169 lbs. WHAT THE F!


I find myself here again because over the past few months, I dropped from 160 lbs (size 8) to 152 (size 4-6) in 3 months, decided I look good now - let the winter take over and now since this past fall, I've gained it ALL BACK! I am now at the heaviest I've been, wearing size 10-12 and weighing 169-171 lbs :puke:



This ridiculousness is all because I lost my motivation and became LAZY - I need to get back control and motivation and this is me starting yet another journal after a couple of years have come and gone so all of you can kick me in the butt and not let me get lazy!


I think my last "diet" restricted so much, I limited myself to 1500 cals a day, went to the gym 5-7 days a week and frankly I think I burnt myself out. I lost less than 10 lbs over 3 months, which isnt crazy, but my problem is that when I see progress... I cut myself a little slack, rather than push forward.. then before you know it, I eat more and stop working out and now I'm at the heaviest I've ever been in my life and as I'm reaching 33 years old, this needs to stop. Immediately.


My plan of attack: As I've also lost my fitness as I'm SO out of shape now, I'm going to gradually incorporate very small doses of exercise back into my life until it becomes a part of it naturally.. and I'm going to stick to 1300-1500 cals for now, until I start exercising more. My foods will be "loose" in the beginning as long as they remain under calories, and then slowly tighten up. If I ever feel like I'm restricting too much I'll allow myself to eat a little more, but make wiser food choices.


My goal: to get back to a size 4-6 in 5 months or less, size small tops. My body doesnt go by weight - after all, my skinniest in my adult life was a size 4 at 149 lbs. I can probably go down in clothing sizes quickly, probably in 2-3 months. But in five months, I'd like very much to at least TRY to get down to 130 lbs. I havent been 130 since I was 17 years old (size 3-4) so we'll see. I just want to fit into my old jeans again.


And stay there. I need your help.


Ok - this is a serious venting entry, so sorry... I'm very surprised if any of you take the time to read this, but if you do, please know I appreciate it and I expect all of you to yell at me on a daily basis whenever I seem like I'm losing motivation again. I need to take control and change my life and every time laziness comes in, I need to ask myself "Fit, sexy and healthy! HOW MUCH DO I WANT IT?!"
 
Before I begin, I need to write down the problems that have stood in my way in the past:


Problem #1: I'm a foodie - I love to eat, I love new foods, I love going out, and I love salt. This makes things especially hard when I finally lose weight, I think I can just eat this stuff all over again and then my body goes crazy and gains weight.


Solution: I cannot go cold turkey and again start only eating steel cut oats, chicken, tuna, greens, veggies, fruit and brown rice and eggs. It limits too much and when I go back to eating the foodie foods, I gain everything back. This needs to be a GRADUAL life change so the weight STAYS OFF. Therefore, my diary/journal will have food that is so "forbidden" that you will all probably gasp in horror, but hey.. I've had enough of this roller coaster ride and I need a new approach. I know how to lose weight, its how to keep it off I'm not having luck with.


Problem #2: Live in boyfriend is a junk food junkie - his weakness: baked goods and cheetos. This makes things SUCK for me because when I'm not feeling "strong". I have a bite... a bite turns into a handful, a handful turns into calorie overload. Doesnt help that he's tall and slim and it doesnt show up on him. He knows he needs to start taking care of himself as he is 34 years old now, but when he has a weekend free day to give in, I end up giving in too (im so LAZY)


Solution: I need to have a different mind set and understand his poor eating habits show up differently on my body. I'm 5'3" after all, and any amount of excess weight loves to stick on me. I need to get back my discipline, my self-control and my thinking that baked goods and cheetos arent delicious at all, actually :cuss:


Problem #3: My work hours SUCK! I start my day at 7am, and dont get home until 7pm. The dark early days of winter dont exactly make it motivating to work out so late at night in the dark. The gym takes 1/2 hour to get to at that time of night, and by the time we get home it is about 9pm or later and havent had dinner, etc. Hate eating that late at night, and then bedtime is 11pm-ish. This isnt the most motivating arrangement.


Solution: Stop crying about it, this is the way life has our schedule right now, and if I want fitness and slender sexiness back, getting home late at night is a very small price to pay. I can also go jogging/walking/running with my boyfriend after work around our neighborhood for starters as an alternative for 30-60 mins 3-5 nights week to make the most of our time. But frankly, I need to look at it like a scale. Which is more important? Looking good and sucking up late nights? Or sitting on the couch relaxing every night in fatness?
 
Originally Posted by Sunflower


Love the idea of problems and solutions--Sounds like you know what you're doing! Good luck :D




Eh... I know "how" to do it... its doing it that's the problem :banghead: keeping it off? I have no clue...
 
So this past few days, I've been over my caloric limits of 1300-1500, and I've been teetering more around 1600-1800 because of girl monthly problems


Although this past weekend - Saturday, I finally got my butt out there and crawled/jogged 1.75 miles, it was a start I suppose. Then Sunday I decided the bananas in my apartment were starting to rot, so what did I do, make banana bread :smash: and in turn, my boyfriend and I ate so much of it since then. Not smart. I dont even really like baked goods. grrrr girl problems!



Foods yesterday


breakfast - banana bread, fruit, coffee

lunch - brown rice, grilled chicken breast, parm cheese

snack - cheez-it snack packs

dinner - brown rice, broiled chicken breast, greek salad

snack - cheese, banana bread :willy_nilly:


cals around 1800.. very starchy carby day


"ran" 1.77 miles outside, probably at a slow 4.0 mph pace

1 set of 10 squats, lunges, standing pushups, one-arm standing pushups

25 crunches


I prob drink anywhere from 4-7 bottles of water a day


slow start, but a start
 
Problem #1: I'm a foodie - I love to eat, I love new foods, I love going out, and I love salt.

I am just like that! I love cooking decadent things, but the phases I go through like perfecting risotto and mac n cheese do NOT help my weight.

Good luck on your resolve to not give in to your boyfriend's temptations!
 
I like how you are logging you food! Great job. For me, I write all my food down to stay accountable!

Stay stong!
 
star - I was having the WORST mac n cheese attack this weekend!!! I dont know what's wrong with me and cheese?! I ate 3 polly-o string cheeses on sunday, what is up with that? I hear about people giving up cheese for life, I think id rather kill myself!!


thanks for visiting! :biggrin:
 
luna, i know its a really small thing, but your signature actually helps motivate me. all i see is current weight in the 170s and goal weight as 130 and all I can think is, "hey yea, me too! lets do it!" and then it keeps everything in the front of my mind.
 
Foods yesterday - still on this baked goods attack, not really sure what's happening with me this month


breakfast - cheese, fruit, coffee

lunch - brown rice, can of tuna, small bag of chips

snack - brownie :blush5:

dinner - went out to eat: tuna sashimi, cup of clam chowder, one dinner roll

snack - string cheese


cals around 1680 - still high darned brownie
 
So upcoming events are stressing me out. There is obviously still time to make a difference in my weight, but its coming up way too soon. End of April is a girls weekend in Miami, where we are to spend the weekend at the beach. My gals havent seen me in a bathing suit in almost 5 years and I am mortified at how gross and bigger I've gotten. I was able to wear bikinis a couple of years ago, even last year, and though I was self conscious I could still wear it and not care too much.


But I tried on a bikini over the weekend, and I almost died. I have serious cellulite on my butt and thighs and its really horrifying as I cannot hide it no matter what. Also, my stomach isnt totally flat like it normally is, and its now obvious I'm carrying weight. My gals all have amazing bodies to top it all off and I hate being the one who will now be the overweight one :(


AND to top it all off, in the middle of the summer, the boyfriend and I are going to Vegas and CA for a week long beach fest and pool side relaxation, and if I havent dropped all this weight by then I will be VERY upset!


For the first time, I've decided to maybe get the sexiest, most slimming one-piece bathing suit possible for the April beach weekend (do people in their early 30s wear one-pieces to the beach? or will it be obvious I've gained weight?), and cross my fingers that come the summer, I'll be bikini ready again.


With that said, any gals out there try Miraclesuits? The spandex type suits that supposedly take "10 pounds off"? They arent cheap thats for sure! But I figured a one-piece might be good to have anyway, especially as I get older. But I cant decide if I should buy it now, or weight another month or so until some weight drops (if any, a month isnt very long).


http://www.cyberswim.com/


Its hard finding sexy one-pieces to be beach and Vegas pool side acceptable - at least for me :piggy: maybe if I buy a strapless one-piece and wear a tiny little wrap it will conceal the areas I need concealed (back, stomach and butt/thigh fat), but still be sexy enough because its strapless? ugh i dont know, i hate my arms too :)


sigh - ugh, i wish society considered the ideal weight to all be Marilyn Monroe sizes at least. Way more attainable, manageable than those size 0-2 models all over the place grrr
 
Girls weekend sounds SOOOO FUN! Just what I need right about now. LUCKY YOU!


I hear ya on the swimsuit. We go on a family vacation with our close friends every year and we spend the entire time on the lake. So yeah....completely understand.


Try Dry Skin Brushing for your cellulite. If you have never heard of it, google it and read on it. The health benifits of dry skin brushing are so astounding! I do this before I get in the shower and I rub in coconut oil and I swear, I have someones skin...LOL!


Back on the swimuit thing, try one of those "vintage inspired style" swimsuits! They are so grogeous and so sexy!!
 
Originally Posted by LunaChick


Girls weekend sounds SOOOO FUN! Just what I need right about now. LUCKY YOU!



I hear ya on the swimsuit. We go on a family vacation with our close friends every year and we spend the entire time on the lake. So yeah....completely understand.



Try Dry Skin Brushing for your cellulite. If you have never heard of it, google it and read on it. The health benifits of dry skin brushing are so astounding! I do this before I get in the shower and I rub in coconut oil and I swear, I have someones skin...LOL!



Back on the swimuit thing, try one of those "vintage inspired style" swimsuits! They are so grogeous and so sexy!!




That swimsuit is SO CUTE!!! I went and ordered one just like it after reading this post yesterday in dark purple from the Miraclesuit site.. Same type of styling, with removeable straps for tanning. I had to order a size 14 :cry: because it said to go up a size from the measurements. And since I just upped my bra strap from 36 to 38 a month ago (biggest ever for me!) I decided to just go safe with the larger size since its supposed to be spanx-like. We'll see. I overnighted the shipment and should receive today in time for my weekend ski/snowboard weekend in Maine... they have a hot tub after all, and after a full day of being on the mountain I want to look as cute as possible in the hot tub so my boyfriend doesnt vomit when he realizes how much weight I've gained! I mean I know we live with each other and all, but I've been able to hide a lot of my fatness. I hope this suit covers my back/tummy fat. I'll wrap a towel around my waist for now until I get the cellulite under control. But my arms... yucky


If all looks cute enough, I'm going to buy the exact red polka dot one-piece as well, either that or the black with white polka dots. Although red dots on black would look less bright, and maybe more slimming. THANK YOU SO MUCH for the suggestion!!!!!!!!! As for dry brushing, thats next on my list, my butt and hamstrings used to be soooooo tight and hot and muscular and now they are GROSS!
 
Foods yesterday, this high calorie thing ends today... my monthly girl problems are about over anyway..


breakfast - cheese, fruit, coffee

lunch - 3 beef tacos - sour cream, lettuce, cheese and salsa <-------- this did me in :piggy:

snack - Clif bar brownie

dinner - Tuna salad on wheat bread, boyfriends cheetos :cuss:

snack - string cheese and last of the banana bread


cals around 1770 :smash:


SO ridiculous that I've let my weight get out of control and now I have to "watch" my calories. This would be a low caloric intake for most of the rest of the world, wouldnt it? I mean the average consumption is 2000 - I wish that was the same for me.


exercise yesterday

ran/jog (in the rain - yea!) 1.75 miles, slow 4-5mph pace

walked .25 miles

1 rep of 12 - squats, lunges

10 incline pushups
 
must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner


must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner must eat cleaner


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
 


Originally Posted by jmlw7





That swimsuit is SO CUTE!!! I went and ordered one just like it after reading this post yesterday in dark purple from the Miraclesuit site.. Same type of styling, with removeable straps for tanning. I had to order a size 14 :cry: because it said to go up a size from the measurements. And since I just upped my bra strap from 36 to 38 a month ago (biggest ever for me!) I decided to just go safe with the larger size since its supposed to be spanx-like. We'll see. I overnighted the shipment and should receive today in time for my weekend ski/snowboard weekend in Maine... they have a hot tub after all, and after a full day of being on the mountain I want to look as cute as possible in the hot tub so my boyfriend doesnt vomit when he realizes how much weight I've gained! I mean I know we live with each other and all, but I've been able to hide a lot of my fatness. I hope this suit covers my back/tummy fat. I'll wrap a towel around my waist for now until I get the cellulite under control. But my arms... yucky



If all looks cute enough, I'm going to buy the exact red polka dot one-piece as well, either that or the black with white polka dots. Although red dots on black would look less bright, and maybe more slimming. THANK YOU SO MUCH for the suggestion!!!!!!!!! As for dry brushing, thats next on my list, my butt and hamstrings used to be soooooo tight and hot and muscular and now they are GROSS!
[/quote]


Yeah! I'm so glad you ordered one! I bought one last year when was a size 10-12 and had to buy a 16! But it's just different sizes by different designers, don't sweat it! Don't forget the cutie-pootie flower in your hair :)
 
Originally Posted by LunaChick



Yeah! I'm so glad you ordered one! I bought one last year when was a size 10-12 and had to buy a 16! But it's just different sizes by different designers, don't sweat it! Don't forget the cutie-pootie flower in your hair :)



Yea, I bought one with a slightly higher leg cut so I wouldnt look so short, 5' 3" is hard to elongate. cutey patootie flower in hair is definitely in order for Miami! April seems so far, but is right around the corner!
 
Foods yesterday, better... but obviously havent kicked my cravings since the last 2-3 days were pretty lenient



breakfast - brownie clif bar

lunch - lean cuisine pepperoni pizza, veggie chips

snack - cookie

dinner - whole wheat pita chips, tuna salad



ran out of all fruit and veggies - must go shopping after my ski/snowboard weekend



cals around 1365
 
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