amsterdam1
New member
I really wish that I was writting this with good news ahahaha. But after all... today wasnt great in any way.
For the past few days, my routine has looked this: I wake up, get ready and tell myself that today, I'll have a great day (food wise)! I start off with a balanced breaftas, ahve a cup of green tea, and hit the door to work or whatever. I eat a well balanced meal wherever I am. Then come back home and whoooshhhh! So long good day!
And today was no exception.
I was gonna hit the gym, I actually brought my work out clothes to work and all, but in the end, I had to get my ipod fixed and then went out with friends for a birthday... of course went to an italian restaurant, but this time i didnt go with the chicken... I went with basic cheese pizza, because it was th eonly appealing thing on the menu.
But through out the day I realized a few things... I went shopping for a bit before going to work and realized that I'm not ready in any way to buy new clothes (ive actually been rotating between two outfits for the past week!) until I accept my body. Which I havent. I'm way too self-conscious, way too judging, way too harsh on myself. But thats who I am. Some people are careless and will wear what they want, when they want, but I'm not. I'm self-conscious about the way my arms look and always cover them. Im self-consious about my stomach, and so I never where anything CLOSE to touching my skin. And I know that all of these things prevent me from expressing myself to my fullest potential. Its something that I ahve to work on bit by bit. And its not by eating crap that Im gonna get there.
I need to stop denying myself of things that can make me happy. The onyl way for me to do that is by stepping up and taking control of what I do with myself. Controlling my appetite, my hunger, my actions, my thoughts, everything. Its mind over matter. I just need to keep it together!
Im telling you, im telling myself, this is the last time im bringing myself to such a low point. Next time yo hear me, and I hear myself, I will be finally comfortable in my body, finally comfortable to express myself, and to shine!
I CANT WAIT!
For the past few days, my routine has looked this: I wake up, get ready and tell myself that today, I'll have a great day (food wise)! I start off with a balanced breaftas, ahve a cup of green tea, and hit the door to work or whatever. I eat a well balanced meal wherever I am. Then come back home and whoooshhhh! So long good day!
And today was no exception.
I was gonna hit the gym, I actually brought my work out clothes to work and all, but in the end, I had to get my ipod fixed and then went out with friends for a birthday... of course went to an italian restaurant, but this time i didnt go with the chicken... I went with basic cheese pizza, because it was th eonly appealing thing on the menu.
But through out the day I realized a few things... I went shopping for a bit before going to work and realized that I'm not ready in any way to buy new clothes (ive actually been rotating between two outfits for the past week!) until I accept my body. Which I havent. I'm way too self-conscious, way too judging, way too harsh on myself. But thats who I am. Some people are careless and will wear what they want, when they want, but I'm not. I'm self-conscious about the way my arms look and always cover them. Im self-consious about my stomach, and so I never where anything CLOSE to touching my skin. And I know that all of these things prevent me from expressing myself to my fullest potential. Its something that I ahve to work on bit by bit. And its not by eating crap that Im gonna get there.
I need to stop denying myself of things that can make me happy. The onyl way for me to do that is by stepping up and taking control of what I do with myself. Controlling my appetite, my hunger, my actions, my thoughts, everything. Its mind over matter. I just need to keep it together!
Im telling you, im telling myself, this is the last time im bringing myself to such a low point. Next time yo hear me, and I hear myself, I will be finally comfortable in my body, finally comfortable to express myself, and to shine!
I CANT WAIT!

