Eric's Diary

Hola

Hi Eric,

Keep persisting!!
You're not alone in your efforts. Although I am a totally different gender & height to you lol...I know exactly what you mean by trying to eat more bland foods to get a better sense of feeling full.
From scanning through your posts...I could see quite a similarity in the foods you were eating & what you were drinking: burgers, chips, red bull, beer etc.but there is a lack of fruit & vegetables...you've probably mentioned fruit a few times.
I'm not sure if you are a coffee drinker..but how do you think you would feel if you drank more water and totally cut out the red bull & beer(or at least drank beer occasionally). I personally don't take any caffeine products..so I've never experienced the 'energy boost' that most people seem to get. I try to drink water and fruit smoothies..or eat fruit salads for the same effect. I'm a 'fruitbat' so I love fruit too much- there is something about eating 5 different coloured fruits in the morning!
Maybe you could try to eat fruit in the morning...on its own..with cereal..or with oatmeal. Or maybe make a fruit smoothie. Personally..I would find eating those things more fulfilling than a cereal bar..and also more filling. A banana/apple/pear is great to take when you are on the run..or even buy a fruit smoothie if you can.
Hope it helps!! I'm at the start..or rather have been going back and forth with my journey..but I definitely know what its like to get too fixated on food(like an addiction)..and to abuse your body with food. Funny how I can so easily say no to cigarettes, alcohol and drugs..but have found food to be a battle (even though I probably eat reasonably healthy foods-just too much of it!!)
I think the thing is to focus on your health and fitness..and perhaps taking smaller portions of food..but savouring your food more. Again..easier for me to say as I haven't been so good today..but I find that having a lunch that I enjoy while talking to a friend, makes me savour my food more..and actually focus on what I am eating..rather than the quantity and the physical action of my jaws chewing away!
Keep going strong & I wish you all the best!!
Cheers,
Sara:jump:
 
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Ritagurl and saraleeicecream!

I'm trying this week to go with the belt one hole in. So far, by 10:30 Monday morning, it seems to be causing me minimal discomfort.

Wasn't a great weekend for building up healthy habits, but at least I didn't have much of a regression (ate three oatmeal cookies already this morning though, so it may be short-lived!)

Friday was a cereal bar for breakfast, no lunch, then a pizza for dinner. 12 inch pan and homemade, if you're keeping score. I should have just stopped at six slices, but it was late and I couldn't resist after not having ate all day.

Saturday was a cereal bar for breakfast, nothing again for lunch, then a can of vegetable soup with two pieces of toast for supper.

Sunday another cereal bar, then lunch was soup, and supper was pasta.

As a general rule, I don't avoid lunch, so I'm not too worried about that becoming a habit. The only reason I miss lunch is because I'm either not home to eat it or don't have any cash on me to buy it. And no, after 15 years of mouldy bread and dried-out vegetables in my school lunches, I don't think I can bring myself to actually pack a lunch for at least another 20 years. Just the thought of it makes me turn grey.

Speaking of habits, they say it only takes 21 days for something to become habit. I've been on this kick for longer than that, so maybe some of it is actually starting to sink in. We'll see what happens the next time I go for groceries.

Keep your eye on the prize.
 
Well yesterday was interesting.

After a week-end of not eating much of anything I think I wound up eating half of Arizona.

Breakfast, a cereal bar, then I went over to my parent's place. My mother put the cookies in front of me, and before I knew it three of them were gone. Then a farmer's lunch of three roasted potatoes, pork chops in rice, peas, tomatoes, chocolate milk, and chocolate cake for dessert. I didn't think I would be able to finish all of it. It's amazing to see how much bigger food looks when you're used to sticking to a bowl of soup or a sandwich. Two more cookies devoured before I got out of there, then my underweight friend invited me over for dinner - chinese. And did I mention she doesn't like chow mein? So she sent me home with the rest of that, and since I knew it would go bad I ate that before I went to bed.

So, here I am, very tired (impossible to sleep - oh yeah, add two cans of Pepsi to the above total - I'm sure that had something to do with it) and not really happy with myself. I spent all day yesterday at the computer, so it wasn't like I had much chance to work things off. Miraculously, the belt still fits in the new hole this morning, but I don't know if I will be able to keep it there.

Going for groceries today, too, so that will be interesting. See if I can do it on $20 this time (last time was almost $30). See if I can have a light lunch, then a sensible supper, and get back on track. Going to be very hard to get any work done today, I could barely get out of bed this morning.

Climbing back on the wagon.
 
hey eric

from the posts i take it ur around 350lbs

and about a height of 5'9

u can do it man, stay focused and keep thinking of what life will be like at ur goal weight

if u find free time, go walking, just get up and exercise

u can do it!
 
Thanks for the plug, Jeremy!

Actually you're about a 150 lbs over, I never got much past 200 lbs (maybe 220 at my worst), and I think I'm about 5'8", and according to the powers that be (or at least the ones that write the "Pocket Reference") my ideal weight should be in the 145-157 lb range. Sounds low to me, but since I don't have a scale I'm going by how I look for now, which is still well in the "few extra pounds" category.

Yesterday was better, but not perfect.

Well, actually the first half of the day was a disaster. Two grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, then an ice-cream and waffle-chocolate-caramel thingy from Dairy Queen for dessert. Heart attack in a bowl if ever there was one. Then an iced cap from Tim Hortons, made with chocolate milk instead of cream, but still not good.

I was feeling very depressed and in a lot of bloated pain (binging when on a diet exacerbates indigestion, obviously) by the time my underweight friend (I'm getting sick of calling her that - she really needs to bulk up) called me to go for a quick supper. I didn't want to, especially because it was Chinese again, but I went, and I had a bowl of wanton soup. Much to my surprise it calmed my stomach, and was pretty good. I think I'll have it the next time I go for Chinese, as it's very light, but has lots of meat, vegetables and pasta, a complete meal in a single bowl.

Oddly enough though, I guess it still wasn't enough, as I couldn't sleep last night, and wound up snacking on some leftover cold cuts. I never snack at night, but I've been having trouble sleeping the past few nights, and I think my body is having trouble dealing with the "jump" from dieting to the old habits and back again.

Today I am going to go out for lunch, because I'm in town. I'm going to see if I can make a healthy choice, and get myself conclusively back on track.
 
Another interesting day yesterday.

Cereal bar for lunch, then Subway for lunch, then some fries drenched in cheese and chili and some other stuff for supper, and a berry smoothie.

I don't know if that constitutes a fall, or not. I ate because I was hungry, not depressed, and the portions weren't as crazy as they used to be. The sub seemed like it was adequate, not too much, not too little, so I was perfectly happy with that.

Although, the belt is in the outer hole today, not the inner, and that is distressing.

On top of all that, I think I'm getting sick, which is the last thing I need.

I'll keep you posted.
 
Okay rare week-end posting.

For starters, I am very sick right now. I can barely keep my eyes open, so I may be a littel fuzzy about all that has transpired.

On top of being sick, it hasn't been a very good couple of days at work, which can be nearly disastrous when you're self-employed.

On Thursday, after a cereal bar for breakfast I felt myself starting to get a bit sick, so I went for a bowl of soup with a bagette for lunch. Supper was a burger and fries, the first time I've done that in weeks, and a few chicken balls later on in the evening.

Friday was a full-on "sick day" so I only had my cereal bar for breakfast, and another one for lunch. I managed to get out to Subway for supper.

This morning was the first time in weeks I've missed breakfast. My body is in so much pain right now I don't know that I'm going to care much about food at all for a couple of days.

The belt, btw, is out at its old location, after a couple of days of being in. As soon as I start feeling better getting that back down will be the next priority.
 
Monday Morning, and still a bit under the weather, but slowly recovering...

Saturday had a couple of slices of pizza for lunch, then a few more slices for supper, and that was it.

Sunday was a cereal bar in the morning, burger and fries for lunch then some chicken soup and bread for supper.

The belt was flirting with going in a hole this morning, but not quite there yet.

More to follow when I'm feeling better.
 
The belt is almost ready to go back in again.

Yesterday didn't help much. Burger and Fries for lunch, popcorn at the movies for supper. Going to see if I can get to a corn beef sandwich and some vegetables for lunch today, and see if I can get back on track.
 
Well, I'm halfway there.

Tip for making corn beef sandwiches - put the tomatoe between the meat and the lettuce - otherwise it gets very soggy.

So yeah, I had my corned beef sandwiches for lunch, as was just about to have my spaghetti-o's for supper when my underweight friend rang and dragged me out for a car ride followed by a grilled cheese and fries. Actually, not that unhealthy, and at the end of the night I had a couple of pieces of toast, so that was quite enough for me.

On the bright side, this morning I tried the belt in one hole, and three hours later, we're still good. Don't know if I'll be able to keep it up all day, but hey, at least it's a start.

Time, I think, to start looking for my next goal, beyond the belt. The next hole? I don't know - it will be a long time before we get there, and I'm thinking perhaps something in the meantime would be a good goal to reach for. I really need to find my costumer's tape, to get myself an accurrate waist to hip ratio, as that would be something to track. I know that I'm still well over 1.0 (men should be in the 0.9 range), but even to get down to even would be an accomplishment.

I'll keep you posted.
 
Day two of the belt in, and we're still good.

Had a cereal bar for breakfast yesterday, followed by soup for lunch, then over to my parents for casserole and leftover beef for dinner. A few too many cookies, but like I said, I'm getting away with it today.
 
Well, things were pretty healthy yesterday...

Cereal bar for breakfast (though I'm almost out of them now).
Two corned beef sandwiches for lunch.
Stuffed pita for supper.

I felt a little hungry when I got in late at night, but I was able to hold off of having anything. I think it would have been okay to have a couple of pieces of toast, but I'm still glad I didn't. It was difficult to get the belt in today, but so far, so good. So now we bring on the week-end.
 
Back after my extended hiatus...

I'll see how much of the week-end I can remember at this point, as well as what I had on Friday, the date of my last post. Normally I don't like to go this long between postings, but it was fairly crazy all weekend.

On the bright side, the belt is holding...

Friday
Last cereal bar for breakfast, then a salad for lunch, then a couple of pieces of toast for supper.

Saturday
No breakfast or lunch, pizza for supper.

Sunday
No breakfast, charity hamburger for lunch, salad for supper.

Monday
Coffee and bagel with butter for breakfast, cookie for a snack, then Subway for supper.

As you can see, it was very hectic this past week-end. Cooking facilities were down, which made things even more difficult. However, I think we've turned a major corner. This was the first week-end when things were hectic that I didn't gorge myself completely. To be sure, I had more of the pizza than I should have, the Subway was probably an extravagance I could have done without, and I know, I should be trying to eat more smaller meals rather than fewer larger ones, but still, I could have broken down and gorged, but I didn't, so for me that's something.

Still looking for what the next step will be in this. Overall, the body shape doesn't seem to be changing much, just becoming smaller all around, not in the areas I want. Hopefully this will shift over time.

More to follow...
 
Cannon, I was just going to ask him that myself. I never see you post exercise, do you walk or go to the gym?? And how many pounds have you lost since you started WLF?? I see you mention the belt, but I'm not quite sure I understand that yet. Are you losing inches? I would say the burger/fries probably not the best of choices in dinner, but the SUBWAY great choice. How many calories are you pulling in when you do the cereal bar, burger/fry and other item days?? Just seem high to me, but then again, I could be wrong. Good luck the rest of your week. Hope it's a good one!
Kim
 
It seems I've got a few followers out there!

Thanks for the feedback. As far as excercise goes, there isn't much besides my job, which, some days, not all, involves significant physical activity. Case in point was yesterday, when I spent most of the afternoon lugging stuff around. It brought back the reason that I don't exercise much when I'm trying to lose weight - I was barely able to move by the end of the day. Losing weight means that I'm forcing my body to burn reserves stored in fat cells, which are harder to metabolize than carbs, which are the "immediate use" energy source. I guess my body rebels more than usual about burning fat, because rather than being able to tap into that stored energy during my physical activity it just wants to collapse. I had to take a lot of breaks yesterday, I was weak and unsteady on my feet after the first hour, it was difficult to concentrate and there were a few times when I just couldn't lift something. That's what it's like in this body when I'm trying to lose weight, and I don't think I can do that to myself every day, or I could do myself some serious damage.

Unfortunately, I don't own a set of scales at the moment, so I have no way to assign a number to what I started out at or where I am right now (though based on previous weighings I am suggesting that I was around the 200 lb mark, and I want to get to the 150 lb range). I haven't been counting calories, but I know that if I stay under 2000 a day that should keep me in the "weight loss" range, and I'm being very conscious about portions. I use the holes in my belt as the only sort of objective measurement tool at my disposal so I guess you could say yes, I am losing inches. The belt is now one hole tighter than when I started, and with any luck we'll be able to get another hole in on it soon.

While I have a weight range that, according to the "book" (Pocket Reference, 3rd edition, if you're wondering), I am shooting for, my goal in losing the weight here is not so much a number as it is a particular body shape, and, more importantly, a lifestyle. I don't really see the need to have the body of an athlete; muscle-mass isn't a big deal for me. What is important is that I look like I can take care of my body and my health - and that means no beer gut, or getting winded just walking across the parking lot. I'm hoping that when I feel more comfortable in my body (both in terms of how I look and a reduction in physical pain - excess weight is very hard on the knees) I will be able to work on making improvements in the other areas of my life as well.

Well, now that the stump speech is over, here's the report for Tuesday:

No breakfast (I won't be able to do that until I get more cereal bars or something), then spaghetti-o's for lunch. Supper was spaghetti and a large plate of stir-fried vegetables. I think I may have overdone it a bit on the vegetables, but they were going bad and if you're going to splurge it should be on something that causes the least amount of weight gain, right?

Thanks for the replies...
 
Hey Eric!!! I see your total point about being able to get yourself on a plan that works for you and can be an easy lifestyle change, the ONLY thing I see that might be defeating your purpose is, the food choices, I love spaghetti O's too, but even if you keep your calories below a certain limit, your not offering your body any good nutrients, your body NEEDS good nutritional value, hense giving you more "ENERGY" with your day. Your lacking energy not from working your butt to the bone at work, because believe me, I do the same thing, and I work out afterwords at the gym 4 nights a week. But your body is lacking energy building food value. I bet if you switched up some food, BUT... keeping the same low calories you would see a big difference in the way you feel. Buy some Protein Powder and make a shake in the morning and add fruit to it instead of the cereal bars, eat a piece of chicken breast, or tuna sandwich with tomato in the afternoons, you can still brown bag your items, and keep the cost down, AND... your giving your body much needed fuel! Also, I hate to say this, because I deal all day in medical testing and with what your eating, I'm sure eventually your cholesterol is going to be through the roof, and well we all know that can lead to heart disease. I just did an evaluation on a male age 21 who was in college, his parents were purchasing life insurance for him, and well they "thought" he was super preferred, however, when his labs came back, they noticed his cholesterol was elevated, who would have thought right?? Well, he eats out all the time, and even though his outside appearance is excellent, NOT over weight at all, his insides are crying out to stop the bad stuff, needless to say this helped them out and they are working on that issue now with a doc. I'm not at all trying to get you down, I think the first step in weight loss is reaching out and doing something about it, the next step is finding out how and if you can make it work for you. Your on the right path, but if you can make any small changes at all, I think you need to incorporate protein and high energy foods into your diet. I guarantee you will "feel" the difference. This is ALL MY OPINION of course, but I've been at it a long time, and I have researched a lot around here as well. GOOD LUCK ERIC!! I really wish you the best!
Kim
 
heavy or skinny, your diet needs to change. that food is just horrible for you to be eating it as many times as you do.

and i'd buy a scale and take measurements to track changes
 
Miss Ladybug said:
Hey Eric!!! I see your total point about being able to get yourself on a plan that works for you and can be an easy lifestyle change, the ONLY thing I see that might be defeating your purpose is, the food choices, I love spaghetti O's too, but even if you keep your calories below a certain limit, your not offering your body any good nutrients, your body NEEDS good nutritional value, hense giving you more "ENERGY" with your day. Your lacking energy not from working your butt to the bone at work, because believe me, I do the same thing, and I work out afterwords at the gym 4 nights a week. But your body is lacking energy building food value. I bet if you switched up some food, BUT... keeping the same low calories you would see a big difference in the way you feel. Buy some Protein Powder and make a shake in the morning and add fruit to it instead of the cereal bars, eat a piece of chicken breast, or tuna sandwich with tomato in the afternoons, you can still brown bag your items, and keep the cost down, AND... your giving your body much needed fuel! Also, I hate to say this, because I deal all day in medical testing and with what your eating, I'm sure eventually your cholesterol is going to be through the roof, and well we all know that can lead to heart disease. I just did an evaluation on a male age 21 who was in college, his parents were purchasing life insurance for him, and well they "thought" he was super preferred, however, when his labs came back, they noticed his cholesterol was elevated, who would have thought right?? Well, he eats out all the time, and even though his outside appearance is excellent, NOT over weight at all, his insides are crying out to stop the bad stuff, needless to say this helped them out and they are working on that issue now with a doc. I'm not at all trying to get you down, I think the first step in weight loss is reaching out and doing something about it, the next step is finding out how and if you can make it work for you. Your on the right path, but if you can make any small changes at all, I think you need to incorporate protein and high energy foods into your diet. I guarantee you will "feel" the difference. This is ALL MY OPINION of course, but I've been at it a long time, and I have researched a lot around here as well. GOOD LUCK ERIC!! I really wish you the best!
Kim
Click to expand...

I have to agree with Kim and Jeremy. The fast food crap has to stop or you're gonna be in a heap of trouble. It is still possible to eat well and eat out. Get the McD's bacon ranch salads--they are yummy and good for you. Unless you are willing to stop making excuses for the bad eating and start taking better care of yourself, you are going to be in bad shape. I'm not saying this to be mean--just to help you. If you really are ready to be healthy--you will do what it takes. Until then, you're not serious about it.:)
 
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