EMorgan
New member
I am starting a new diary as I have fallen off the wagon and want to start fresh. I was doing really good for a week and lost 3 lbs. I stopped keeping track of what I ate and slowly but surely went back to my old ways. This week has been terrible as far as calories are concerned. My boyfriend and I frequently go to his grandparents to have dinner which is always southern "comfort food". We went on wednesday this week and I pigged out. I broke down last night and told my boyfriend I cant live like this anymore. I want to lose this weight before it gets too out of control, which at the rate Im going it wont take long! My main problem is I obsess over what I eat or dont eat. Im constantly thinking about my weight even when Im doing nothing to change it. I want to get to a point where I eat when Im hungry ONLY. That is definately not the way it is now. I eat the most when Im bored usually so I want to try to do other things with my time than eat. I use to be a size 1/2 and 115lbs about a year and a half ago and was that weight for about 6 years since highschool. Since my boyfriend and I started dating I have gained the majority of my weight, I chalk it up to being happy and not trying to attract the opposite sex anymore and mostly just being lazy because I have who I want and he loves me regaurdless of what I weigh. However I am not happy. Im now a size 5 which I know is not big by any means, but I have also gained 20lbs in the last year by eating unhealthy and not doing much at all in terms of exercise. If I keep going on like this ill weigh over 200lbs by the time Im 30 (Im 24). So I want to "nip it in the bud" before I gain even more. One of my main concerns is also where I carry my weight which is for the most part in my thighs and some in my stomach but not much. My thighs definately rub when I walk, and I feel horrible about wearing shorts this summer. I want to change that! I want to wear shorts and feel like I have nice legs not huge cellulite filled thighs that rub together lol. In my last journal I weighed in at 130-132 at 5'5, Ive gained 5 lbs in the last 3 weeks (ugh!) so Im now at a steady 135lbs. I want to get back to my former weight of 115 but honestly Id be happy with 120 right now. I just want a flat tummy and thinner thighs! I came back to this site in need of inspiration and I got it! Many of you have much more you want to lose than I do but you do it and I cant even manage to lose 15-20 stinkin pounds. I WILL do it! If other people can lose 50-100lbs or more I can lose this and I wont give up this time!
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I am going back to school in the fall and hopefully I can find something better by then because I wont be able to work as much. Its really exhausting.... I want to work out but Im just so tired all the time when Im not at work. The job market monopoly has gotten so bad that companies will literally ask for a 4 year degree for a RECEPTIONIST position and to top it off they will also ask you to have like 5 years experience! TO ANSWER PHONES ALL DAY! Im sorry Im just frustrated