So yesterday I failed, today will be better.
I went until like 6:00 and had one bowl of frito pie. Then A couple hours later I got munchies and ate 5 mini donuts!!! :'( And then they ordered pizza at like 11:00. And I was hungry so that was the only thing to eat. It sucks when you don't have money because I just have to eat what they eat. I don't have a choice. It's either that or starve. So next time I'll take option starve and just wait until I get home.(though I don't get home until like 12:00) I had almost 2000 cals yesterday!! I feel like a disgusting piece of crap pig glutton.
Well here's todays intake so far:
Half an apple - 40
some grapes - 60?
flax seed - 90
multivitamin - 0
Lobster ravioli with shrimp and green veggies - no clue
a little chicken and pasta - 200
2 little muffins - 300?
half a hershey bar - 110
total= I think I had around 1500 cals.
I just had to guess for the restraunt food. I know I did better than yesterday! So I am happy about that.
If I skip meals I get really sick feeling. I feel sick now even though I ate some fruit. I feel weak and my head and stomach hurt. If I felt good it would be so much easier. I wish I didn't get sick when I'm hungry.
I think I am going to fast for 12 hours. Because it will be around 12:00 midnight when I get home. My friends are fat, and when I am around them I eat like them. I feel small compared to them and lose sight of how gross I am.
I can't wait until winter solstice so I can get my mp3 player. Then I can walk and workout. I can't stand to do anything like that without a distraction. Music is very motivational for me. It's hard to workout because I have to do it in the living room or my moms room. And people are trying to watch tv because my dads here all day. and my mom sleeps until 1:00 pm. So I have no chance to workout before I leave the house. It's either sit at home bored all day to be able to workout, or miss working out to go hangout with friends and be more entertained. ugh..I wish I lived alone.