Emily's weightloss/intake/exercise diary.

FuglyFatty

FuglyFatty

New member
Today is my b-day, I turned 19. I thought it would be a good time to start my weightloss plan for real. I am ready to get my confidence back and my life back.

I don't have a very special, specific plan. Just some basic stuff.

-Eat around 1200-1300 cals a day.
-Absolutely NO fast-food, junk food, or soda.
-Limit sweets to one hersheys chocolate bar a day.
-Walk 7 miles a week. (I will progress this gradually)
-Do calisthenic exercises 3 times a week.
-Try to cut out most foods with gluten.

So that's my plan. Sounds good to me. lol
 
I've done good so far today.

I woke up at 5:00 am. And ate breakfast at like 6:00.

Breakfast:
Apple - 80
2 boiled eggs - 160
Hot white tea - 0
2 tbsp of flax seed - 90
TOTAL = 330

Snack - steamed green beans -60
TOTAL = 390 cals so far.

I'm going to try to wait until afternoon to eat lunch. Like around 1:00 pm. And make sure it's no more than 400 calories. I'm going to hangout with my friends later. So I will probably eat with them. If it's something fattening I just won't eat.
 
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So I fucked up yesterday..

I was doing good earlier in the day. Around 3:00 I had a greek salad and chicken and rice soup. But later last night my friends decided to take me out to eat chinese for my birthday. I had two plates of food. And I am mad at myself for messing up. :'( I tell them I need to watch what I eat and then they are like "you look fine, shut up" but they don't understand how important this is to me. If I want to stop being depressed and feeling suicidal at times, I HAVE to lose 25 pounds.

Todays intake so far:
1 boiled egg - 60 ( ate the last egg)
2 small muffins -300 :'( ( was only thing we had here)
apple - 80
hot tea - 0

I CAN'T EAT ANYTHING ELSE TODAY. I'LL TELL MY FRIENDS TO FUCK OFF. NO MATTER HOW BAD I HAVE MUNCHIES I WILL RESIST.
 
So yesterday I failed, today will be better.

I went until like 6:00 and had one bowl of frito pie. Then A couple hours later I got munchies and ate 5 mini donuts!!! :'( And then they ordered pizza at like 11:00. And I was hungry so that was the only thing to eat. It sucks when you don't have money because I just have to eat what they eat. I don't have a choice. It's either that or starve. So next time I'll take option starve and just wait until I get home.(though I don't get home until like 12:00) I had almost 2000 cals yesterday!! I feel like a disgusting piece of crap pig glutton. :cry:

Well here's todays intake so far:
Half an apple - 40
some grapes - 60?
flax seed - 90
multivitamin - 0
Lobster ravioli with shrimp and green veggies - no clue
a little chicken and pasta - 200
2 little muffins - 300?
half a hershey bar - 110


total= I think I had around 1500 cals.

I just had to guess for the restraunt food. I know I did better than yesterday! So I am happy about that.

If I skip meals I get really sick feeling. I feel sick now even though I ate some fruit. I feel weak and my head and stomach hurt. If I felt good it would be so much easier. I wish I didn't get sick when I'm hungry.

I think I am going to fast for 12 hours. Because it will be around 12:00 midnight when I get home. My friends are fat, and when I am around them I eat like them. I feel small compared to them and lose sight of how gross I am.

I can't wait until winter solstice so I can get my mp3 player. Then I can walk and workout. I can't stand to do anything like that without a distraction. Music is very motivational for me. It's hard to workout because I have to do it in the living room or my moms room. And people are trying to watch tv because my dads here all day. and my mom sleeps until 1:00 pm. So I have no chance to workout before I leave the house. It's either sit at home bored all day to be able to workout, or miss working out to go hangout with friends and be more entertained. ugh..I wish I lived alone.
 
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I will do good today.

Hopfully my friends won't want to go eat somewhere. I'm so thankful they are caring and love to buy me good food. But it gets in the way. Because I can't be rude and say no.


Intake so far:
Southwestern style vegetable soup - 120 cals
Flax seed - 90 cals
green beans - 60
banana -80
roast, carrots, mashed potatoes, and a roll - 400
tuna sandwhich - 290- 300
reeses peanut butter cups - 280
frozen yogurt with blueberries - 300 prolly
muffin - 150

total = around 1800 cals :'(

I did not do good. I'm a failure. Fat ass. I binge.
 
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Looks like you are doing a great job so far. Keep it up.

Just a coment about being rude to your friends by saying no. Their is no reason you cant eat healthier when eating out. Asking for dressings on the side, no butter/oils, and grilled food. Certainly some places are better than others to eat. Also, if you have goals you want to obtain dont think it is rude to say no. Explain to your friends what you are trying to accomplish and work towards. I think they will respect you for what you are trying to do. Plus if they are your friends they will help you with what you are trying to accomplish.


Good Luck!

Matt
 
Hopefully today I will not epic fail.

I've done so terrible the past few days that I gained a pound. :cry:

Today I am going to do better. No matter how high I get and how bad I get munchies I will say no. :sifone:

I haven't eaten anything yet. Only been awake a little over an hour though. I'm going to fast until the end of the day. Have nothing but water. I am sick of failing. So I am going to go to extremes to achieve my goal. I MUST be thin, I WILL be thin, I WON'T be a failure anymore. Then my mom will love me. And I will get a boyfriend. And I won't have to cut anymore. Sick of feeling like the most disgusting thing in existence. I don't want to be ugly anymore. :cry: If the scars won't go away, then the fat can. I will show everyone that I can be somebody that I have will-power and control. That I can achieve something. I will not be a slave to my stomach anymore. It has held me back for long enough. For over two years. I don't want to have to cry every time I look in the mirror or want to punch the mirror out.
 
Ugh

So that time of the month came, so hopefully that's where the gained pound came from. I feel suicidal. I don't know what to do anymore. Tired of being this disgusting fat cunt. Thinking about opening the car door when we are on the highway and my skull will get smashed.

Here's yesterdays intake:
Sandwhich - 300
chips - 200
12 cheese crackers with peanut butter - no clue
2 oreos - 150
bowl of trix cereal - 250
half a hershey bar -120

I think I had around 1600 total. Which is a little better. The crackers were a meal. There was nothing else to eat.

I wish there was a chance for me to workout. I can only workout when nobody else is here and that's rare. I'd rather be able to hangout with friends too. I don't have a car, so I just go into town with my mom and leave when she does. So I have to make my plans around her hours.

I am for real this time. If there is nothing but junk food to eat, I just won't eat. I can stick it out. Maybe I should start bringing my own lunch or something. But I am usually gone at least 10 hours. I get home at like midnight. or later.

Is there anything to naturally suppress my appettite with? So I can stick through when I feel like snacking and have munchies.
 
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So I got sick last night..

I ate two pieces of pizza and some popcorn. I was just sitting on my friends couch and got really sick and threw up everything. Then I had the worst period cramps of my life and thought I was going to die. So they brought me home. I was able to eat though without it coming back up. Here's last nights intake:

Apple - 80
soup cup - 390
2 oreos - 150
half a hershey bar - 120

total - 740 That's way better. :) Being sick helped me. lol I should have skipped the oreos.

I can't believe I am awake this early. I passed out asleep after only being awake 10 hours at like 10:00 last night. lol I don't know what my plans for the day are. I will try my best.
 
I think I did better!

So here's yesterdays intake:
Sausage biscuit - 490
soup - 200
half an apple - 40
3 hot wings(one was tiny) - 300?
a little bit of fries -300
banana - 80
hershey bar -210

total - 1620. I was awake 18 hours. So I guess that's not THAT bad. It could have been better. But once again I was stuck eating what I could get. It was either that or nothing.

I will do even better today. I know I can do it. ;)
 
FuglyFatty said:
I don't have a very special, specific plan. Just some basic stuff.

-Eat around 1200-1300 cals a day.
-Absolutely NO fast-food, junk food, or soda.
-Limit sweets to one hersheys chocolate bar a day.
-Walk 7 miles a week. (I will progress this gradually)
-Do calisthenic exercises 3 times a week.
-Try to cut out most foods with gluten.
Click to expand...

Why are you trying to cut out gluten ? are you a Coeliac ? if not it is not a good idea, It is very hard to have a good balanced diet without foods containing gluten

you should be dropping the oreo's and the hershey bar (or part thereof), you need to be eating a good breakfast, preferably something low in suger with a low GI to help keep you feeling full for longer and less prone to snacking.

What exercise are you doing? exercise will not only help you loose fat but will actually make you feel better and less depressed.

good quality sleep is also important for weight loss.
 
I have Bi-Polar disorder

somebody who has Bi-Polar and colieac disease told me when they stopped eating gluten they had VERY stable moods. Said it worked way better for their Bi-Polar than meds(that don't work) did. So I figured I'd see if it would help my moods. I eat sweets sometimes(because I get munchies and I am dumb). But this week I won't have any more sweets. I'll just starve if there's nothing else to eat.

We don't have alot of money ATM. So I eat whatever I can get. We can't really afford really healthy food right now. So I eat a piece of fruit for breakfast. The body is still in fasting mode(hence, Break Fast) when we wake up so it's better to have fruit or juice until noon. Since those are easily absorbed and digested. And that's the only thing to eat here besides sausage biscuits which have 500 cals in one.
 
as a Coeliac not having gluten has had no effect on my moods and a lot of products in the supermarket contain wheat or other gluten containing grains, most sweets contain gluten, even major brand cornflakes contain wheat. Dropping gluten should not be something you drop from your diet on a "It might help" whim.

by not spending money on chocolate bars and oreo's you would have more to spend on good food.

do you have a garden or if not somewhere to put a few large pots so you could grow some good vegetables ? gardening can also relieve bordom and assist with your mood.
 
I've lost 4 pounds.

I haven't really been trying that hard which is weird. I even ate pizza and fast food yesterday. I only had one piece of pizza and 3 small breadsticks. Then I had a small fri and a burger from wendys. That was all I had all day, so I guess that's why I didn't gain.

I slept all day until 4:20 today..lol. Went to bed at 6:00 am. It's freezing outside. Iced some. But the roads here are okay. I am stuck here though. So I guess it's 15 hours of computer. Or I can finish reading The Watchmen. I hate being stuck in my house.

I was looking at old pictures of myself this morning before I went to bed. I was 20 pounds lighter than I am now. I want to be that person again so bad. I WILL be that person again. If I could do it then, I can do it now.
 
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Oh by the way

I don't buy the food, my parents do. So I am not wasting any money on anything. I don't work ATM. I JUST turned 19. We only have 1 car and my mom uses it to ge to work and back. So I have no transportation. I have 0 money. So I eat what I get offered.
 
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Doing good so far...

Intake so far:
Salad - just veggies and 70 cals worth of dressing
apple-80
organic fat-free yogurt with fruit - 170

Pretty good for being awake 11 hours already.
 
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