Emily Rose: The Reboot

Em, we could call it Remember November. The month we really cut down our wine drinking & changed our habits. Friends of ours decided that they would only drink one glass of wine max a day, rather than half a bottle & I thought that's a great idea. I might try that.
Glad you had a lovely day.
 
We're definitely starting today. 30 days of anything that doesn't involve pain, thirst, or starvation should be doable, right?
The fact that a man as unapologetically selfish and cruel as Trump has so much support he has a real chance of winning again scares the shit out of me.
 
Hi Em hope you not drowning in all the rain . Saw a bit of the hurling match on Tv it was like a lake . Hope the day went well and here is too a good start for November
 
- Thanks Cate. Let's not raise a toast to Remember November. ;)
- It absolutely should be doable LaMa.
-Thanks Petal, it went fine actually.

The Lockdown Diaries - Day 11 - Weather for Ducks

Lockdown Goal #1: Burn 500 calories a day through exercise. 11/40
Lockdown Goal #2: Go for a run every day 4/33
Sober November: 1/30

3 Good Things:
1. I heard an interview on the radio earlier about a 30-day Wake Up to Life course for the month of November. The woman talked about how our mindset can influence our reality and that the course would focus on belief systems, figuring out our values and what we really want from life, and a lot of other interesting topics. I took it as a sign from the Universe that I should do it and I had my first lesson today. It was really interesting actually, I'm glad I signed up for it.
2. I had a nice chat with my parents on the phone this evening.
3. I actually talked to the grumpy housemate this evening for an extended period of time, it was really nice to chat and connect a little bit better.

Thoughts on Day 11:
I got really bad news about my cousin this evening. She had a growth on her hand that they thought was nothing, and it turns out it was cancerous. She's only 27 and now she has to go for a scan to make sure it hasn't spread. It's absolutely terrifying. Also, a big Wake Up Call for me, as smoking and drinking entire bottles of wine are obviously chronic for your health. It's made me more determined than ever to stick to Sober November and stop burying my head in the sand. I really hope she will be okay and that they caught it in time. Her mum said that her diet is really bad and she is wondering if that is a factor. The whole thing is scary. As if Covid wasn't bad enough. Anyway, I'll be rooting for the best possible outcome and pray that she will be fine.

So yeah, disconcerting news. I stuck with my sober November easily enough today. My diet was very bad though, but that was kind of to be expected. I have some nice food in the fridge ready for cooking tomorrow, so hopefully I will improve on that front as the days go by. The main thing is to squash the worst two things. Mr Sugar will have to wait his turn, I don't have the energy to fight them all in one go. Smokie and Drinkie can pack their bags however. They're not living here rent-free anymore.

My new course is really good, I like the woman that's running it a lot. Her video for day 1 was really interesting and kind of made me hopeful that I can figure out some sort of plan by the end of the month.

Tomorrow, I have to get up early and try to get my run in as I have to be logged on for 8am. It means I can finish earlier though (fingers crossed). Busy enough day ahead, but aren't they all?
 
I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. Hopefully, she will be fine & it may encourage her to be healthier.
The course sounds good, Em. Glad that you engaged with your grumpy housemate. She could be another challenging project ;)
Well done on day 1 of sober November ✔️
 
At 27 any kind of cancer is mostly chance/genetics. Eating mostly healthy food might help her heal better after possible surgery/radiation/chemo but it would not have prevented this from happening. Even more so if mom fed her decent food while she was still living at home. I hope she´ll be ok :grouphug:
 
Em hoping your cousin is ok too . Hopefully they can remove it . Was she a sun worshipper . She is in good hands at least and will be looked after .

Hope your day was good and you enjoyed part 2 of your course .did you have to pay for it ?
 
- Sadly, I only got one green tick Cate. I don't know what's wrong with me.
- I might have given the wrong impression about my cousin LaMa. She's on a football team, so she's very fit, and can get away with eating the crap in terms of weight gain and stuff. My aunt was just trying to fathom how this could possibly have happened to her. Interesting that it's mostly genetics. Thanks for that, haha.
- No, not a sun worshipper Petal, it's bizarre. Yes, I paid for the course, it was about 60 euro, so not too bad.

Things have gone a bit haywire, putting the lockdown diaries on hold for now.

3 Good Things:
1. I did one of those niggly tasks I mentioned and brought the quilt I have over my duvet to the dry cleaners today as my mother wants it back. I have another one in the house anyway.
2. My cousin got the all-clear in her scans, thank God. She'll still have to get a skin graft and I don't know what else on where the cancer was, but as long as it hasn't spread, that's the main thing. Very scary though. The poor thing.
3. I had a nice chat with Work Colleague today about how difficult both work and this lockdown are. It was nice to feel I'm not suffering alone, haha.

Right. Had very disconcerting call from the boss boss today, very worrying. I'm doing my best, so I was a bit more forceful in my responses to him than is maybe wise. Ah well, can't take it back now. It's just so difficult at the moment. Every week is hard. I am exhausted from it. And I don't have an outlet now with tennis or anything, so it's all hardship and suffering in my mind. Still, got a good bit done today, another hard day tomorrow, and hopefully I will be able to breathe again.

I did have wine yesterday - I just felt so miserable. My tactics with the exercise aren't working, so taking a break from the running. I need to get focused on my diet really. I think I'm just attempting to change everything, when I actually don't have the energy or time to do that. I don't know what I'm at. I just don't want to get any fatter, and it just keeps piling on. I don't even understand it. I actually think it's just a low level response to the negative energy I'm surrounded with now. It's like my body just refuses to drop even one pound because it's afraid of the future. Unbelievably annoying, the whole thing. I hate being so anxious all the time. It's not even something I'm aware of, that's the problem. I'm actually quite cheerful and I'm not down all the time, but I'm just not able to get through the day without sweets or wine or cigarettes or something!! Aghhhhhhh!!!!!!!
 
Hey Em, sorry to hear you had a rough day. Today I found out that the area of Canada I'm originally from will likely stay locked down to other Canadians - which means I won't be able to see my parents or siblings for the holidays. I haven't seen them since last Christmas so I'm feeling kind of blue myself. You aren't alone in that respect.

I haven't been able to read all the pages in your diary, and not sure your whole weight loss philosophy - but I really am finding macro counting combined with strength training effective. I pay $9.99/mo for a program that calculates my macros for me every week and adjusts daily based on what I ate in the days prior. I don't want to seem salesy, but it's helped me. It doesn't really have a great function for accountability, but that's why I enjoy this forum :)
 
Genetics AND random bad luck. One of my three dozen cousins got a bone tumor at 11 months old - that´s not something which makes me worry about my risk of getting cancer. I´m with you on the "please I don´t want to gain more weight!" struggle, while still wanting to (in my case) eat sweets. I guess that´s just what this year is. I´m sure there are clever psychological explanations for it so I´m not beating myself up about it but I still don´t want to gain more weight.
 
I've just read about the tough new restrictions for Ireland - it's a hard slog, all right. (They are very similar to the Melbourne restrictions, which are only just beginning to lift. It was very hard on them, but they hung on, and so far it's worked.) If my positive thoughts of energies can help, I'm sending them your way.
 
Hope today was better Em . As you know I'm up there with you with the bad bosses right now .

Hey o know you like different kind of films etc . Have a look at the Irish French film festival starting Nov 11. You have to rent them but some look good
 
- That's really sad about visiting home for Christmas Lingwo. Hopefully it will change in the next few weeks. What app are you using?
- I know LaMa. You just reach a point that you don't want to pass. I am at that point.
- Thanks Cate.
- I absolutely believe they can Amy, thank you.
- That's so thoughtful Petal, you do read my posts! Hahaha. Cheers, I will check it out. :)

Today was pretty good overall.

3 Good Things:
1. I have continued on with my course. To be honest, I don't agree with some of it, but there's enough there to keep me interested. It's a personal journey at the end of the day.
2. I spent time with one of my housemates today and had a pleasant conversation with the other one. They were both super nice to me for some reason, maybe they're worried about me? Anyway, whatever. It is better to be on good terms, no matter what the underlying reasons.
3. The scales were slightly kinder this morning.

I've been hooked on Trump vs. Biden all day. I just want that orange narcissist out of power. The rhetoric he spews alone is enough for me to not like him. There are many, many reasons not to. I think some people see him as a 'straight shooter' - they kind of like that the openly insults people that are against him. I think there's a certain amount of decorum that you have to bring to any leadership role and you let yourself down if you don't have some kind of code that you follow where you don't antagonise and attack others when you have millions of people watching your every move. You can be assertive and honest without being an asshole. But Trump isn't honest either, so I don't know why I am wasting this paragraph on him.

I got into some fights on Reddit tonight. What disturbs me is that the leftwing supporters can actually be as close-minded as the right-wing people they are going on violent tangents against. It's alarming, and is at the heart of what is wrong in the US today. Trump didn't start this kind of rhetoric, but he certainly encouraged it. I have very different views from my parents on certain hot topics - that's okay. They're not evil, they're not bad, they just grew up in a different world than I did. If I have kids, it will be the same thing. I'm sure if I sat at a table with 20 Republicans and 20 Democrats, I'd probably like half of both and dislike half of both, for various reasons. The world isn't good or bad, red or blue. It's such a mishmash. And I think treating people with respect but also respecting yourself and who you are is so important. Shouting down others with your political viewpoint is not cool, no matter what your beliefs.

I think we're at a real tipping point in the world right now. It's going to be a messy few years.
 
Emilyrose said:
And I think treating people with respect but also respecting yourself and who you are is so important. Shouting down others with your political viewpoint is not cool, no matter what your beliefs.
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I agree, Em & I do feel the world is at a tipping point. I am trying to avoid the news as much as I can.
Glad your housemates were friendly :)
 
All we can do is vote whenever we can and be decent in our own small circle. I'm not sure kindness can always beat hate but hate only breeds more hate, even if it's coming from originally well-meaning people.
 
- Thanks Cate.
- I think there's a lot more we can do LaMa but those things are a good place to start.

I had two pretty good days, despite the forum being gone for a while. :eek: I feel like this place is my comfort blanket in a way - I always like knowing that it's there.

I have the house to myself for the first evening in forever! I think one of my housemates has snuck off home (not allowed), I don't know where the other one is, but I am happy! Sometimes it's nice to be properly on your own in the house.

I went for an hour-long walk with a girl from work and her housemate yesterday and another walk this evening with another girl from work. We all live within the 5k of each other, so it's great. It's just nice to talk to people face to face and the time absolutely flies.

I didn't have a very productive day today, but I decided to give myself a little breather from the manic working day, which I need to do sometimes.

I got a call earlier from the blood transfusion service about donating blood on Monday. I was going to give it a few months longer, as I felt I had a bad reaction the last time, but then the woman on the phone told me that my blood type goes to babies and that they are low on it at the moment, so how could I say no to that request? I'm not a monster. I can't leave those babies down! So I booked in for Monday, which means I really need to eat right this weekend, get lots of rest, stay hydrated, and all that good stuff. I'm doing it for the babies and not for me, so hopefully I will actually be kind to myself and my body. I looked up the best foods to eat before donating blood, so bought some steak this evening. I have some chicken defrosting in the fridge, and also bought raisins, spinach, and kidney beans to keep that iron count high!

The plan for the weekend is to try to make my work space/bedroom as clean and airy and decluttered as I possibly can, because feng shui hasn't been a talking point in a while, but I actually think my messy/smelly bedroom is a big factor in my lack of concentration when I'm at the computer. I'm also going to try to take a full screen break this weekend - I will watch a film tomorrow night, but I'm going to try to keep my phone off unless I am going for a run (I need the app for my running programme) and no other laptop time for the rest of it, other than my nightly update here.

I've gone a bit off track with my course - I'm getting anti-mask, conspiracy theorist vibes from the person running it. I hate the masks - I hate them - but I think you have to keep your personal politics out of things if you are trying to coach people into becoming their authentic selves. Anyway, I might do a bit tomorrow, we'll see.

Also, can Biden just win already? I watched Michelle Obama's Becoming documentary on Netflix tonight - so good. I just don't understand how anyone could despise the Obamas. They are such an inspiring duo. I mean, Barack was actually working on community outreach projects when he met Michelle, he really does have a philanthropic spirit. I think history will be kind to him in terms of his impact. I hope both of them keep going. This is really overwhelmingly beautiful:

 
The empty house, walks with workmates, giving blood( good for you!) & your plans for the weekend cleaning blitz all sound good, Em :)
 
What Cate said! What a strange thing to say about babies though: even assuming you're type 0-, making you a universal donor with a very small group of people who can actually donate to you when you happen to need blood, babies don't change blood type growing up, do they? No one type of blood goes only to babies. Not saying you shouldn't give blood if you feel up to it, I think it's awesome if you do, but if the lady on the phone is using half-truths to convince you that's a bit shady. As is pushing conspiracy theories in a product the seller pretends to be about something else; glad you're too alert for that. (I was going to say you're too smart and I do think you're smart but even smart people get duped when they're hit in a sensitive place or they're not really paying attention, hence the weird wording.)
Enjoy your weekend!
 
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