Oh, excellent - and totally agree!
And put me down as another member of the broccoli appreciation club!
Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
And put me down as another member of the broccoli appreciation club!
- Really feeling the benefits of it this evening LaMa (the sleep I mean - didn't get around to eating the broccoli yet!).
- Definitely Petal.
- Thanks Amy.
Sunday 20th September 2020
Weight: 190.8 - Body Fat: 42.3% - BMI: 29
Resting Heart Rate: 62
Sleep: 10 hr 9 min
Exercise: Tennis (1 hour)
Cigarettes: 7
Food:
- porridge, blueberries, prunes, whole milk
- tea and milk; zinc tablet
- slice of toast with butter and honey
- slice of chocolate fudge cake; regular americano and milk
- half chicken and egg salad bap; tomato and red pepper soup
- peppermint tea
- fudge brownie ice cream 408 g
Notes:
I've decided to do a 'state of the nation' thing every day, as that is kind of the whole point of the journal. I had ice cream for dinner, as you can see, but it's better than wine, which I tried desperately to tempt myself to buy, but reason prevailed.
I tried not to smoke today, but I started to feel in such emotional pain and despondency without them, that I decided it's just not time yet.
I actually had a really brilliant evening. I went home this afternoon and I did an angel card reading for myself. The card I got was 'Cupid'. So I was like, 'Hmm, I wonder will Italian Guy be at the court later.' And he was! And we actually told each other our names and had a chat about work and stuff. I asked him what part of Italy he's from, and he told me, and then he said that Irish people like to visit there a lot. Then he mentioned that Venice was nearby and I should go, as Venice is a very romantic place.
It was a very good chat. He seems like a very nice (and handsome) man.
After tennis, one of the women I played with told me I was 'wasting away' and I look 'really thin'. Hahaha. I think the outfit I wore today was kind of form flattering, but I'll take it! Hopefully this means I'll see a huge drop on the scales this week. That comment did make me feel happy, even though it's not true, and I haven't lost a pound. Oh God, the struggle is real.
But yeah, tennis is keeping me going - BIGTIME! We're having a closed tournament in October, which is super exciting, and another ladder for the women is starting soon, so lots to look forward to in tennis land.
Work is looming but I am not drinking and have had 21 hours of sleep the last two nights, so I should be ready! My plan for the morning is get up early, go for a run to get rid of the nerves a bit, have a nice, healthy breakfast, go in and try to get as much as I can done before my presentation, and get out on time so I can play tennis against my dad. Fingers crossed, I was very worried earlier, but my great evening has cheered me up and put my mind at ease a bit.
- Definitely Petal.
- Thanks Amy.
Sunday 20th September 2020
Weight: 190.8 - Body Fat: 42.3% - BMI: 29
Resting Heart Rate: 62
Sleep: 10 hr 9 min
Exercise: Tennis (1 hour)
Cigarettes: 7
Food:
- porridge, blueberries, prunes, whole milk
- tea and milk; zinc tablet
- slice of toast with butter and honey
- slice of chocolate fudge cake; regular americano and milk
- half chicken and egg salad bap; tomato and red pepper soup
- peppermint tea
- fudge brownie ice cream 408 g
Notes:
I've decided to do a 'state of the nation' thing every day, as that is kind of the whole point of the journal. I had ice cream for dinner, as you can see, but it's better than wine, which I tried desperately to tempt myself to buy, but reason prevailed.
I tried not to smoke today, but I started to feel in such emotional pain and despondency without them, that I decided it's just not time yet.
I actually had a really brilliant evening. I went home this afternoon and I did an angel card reading for myself. The card I got was 'Cupid'. So I was like, 'Hmm, I wonder will Italian Guy be at the court later.' And he was! And we actually told each other our names and had a chat about work and stuff. I asked him what part of Italy he's from, and he told me, and then he said that Irish people like to visit there a lot. Then he mentioned that Venice was nearby and I should go, as Venice is a very romantic place.
It was a very good chat. He seems like a very nice (and handsome) man. After tennis, one of the women I played with told me I was 'wasting away' and I look 'really thin'. Hahaha. I think the outfit I wore today was kind of form flattering, but I'll take it! Hopefully this means I'll see a huge drop on the scales this week. That comment did make me feel happy, even though it's not true, and I haven't lost a pound. Oh God, the struggle is real.
But yeah, tennis is keeping me going - BIGTIME! We're having a closed tournament in October, which is super exciting, and another ladder for the women is starting soon, so lots to look forward to in tennis land.
Work is looming but I am not drinking and have had 21 hours of sleep the last two nights, so I should be ready! My plan for the morning is get up early, go for a run to get rid of the nerves a bit, have a nice, healthy breakfast, go in and try to get as much as I can done before my presentation, and get out on time so I can play tennis against my dad. Fingers crossed, I was very worried earlier, but my great evening has cheered me up and put my mind at ease a bit.
- Oh yeah Petal, it was your two friends, Ben and Jerry. Not needed, but I enjoyed it. Thank you so much.
- Cheers Cate.
- Thanks LaMa. It's tennis I play. Maybe I don't mention it enough, lol.
Monday 21st September 2020
Weight: 190 - Body Fat: 42.4% - BMI: 28.9
Resting Heart Rate: 60
Sleep: 7 hr 38 min
Exercise: Tennis (1 hour)
Cigarettes: 13
Food:
- apple; americano; multivitamin
- 5 celebration sweets; wellbeing tea
- can of coke; toasted ham and cheese sandwich with extra light mayo
- fry's chocolate cream 49 g
- beef lasagne (not great); 3 potato croquettes and garlic mayo
Notes:
Presentation went well! What a relief. I am so tired this evening though, I expended a lot of energy today preparing for it, thinking about it, and delivering it. Work went very well overall.
Food today wasn't fantastic, but at least I had a dinner, even if it wasn't the healthiest choice. I'm just trying to work my way back into the good habits again. Was tempted to buy wine again today (after tennis seems to be a trigger) and there were two people in the shop at the same time as me this evening with a bottle of wine each in hand and nothing else, so I'm definitely not the only one who has fallen into the wine trap, but the good news is that I remembered I have to present again tomorrow and why ruin a good thing? So I'm going to finish my dinner now (it's blah), either watch a film or some episodes of New Girl and get up on time for a swim in the morning. Had a few night terrors last night, I think I woke myself up shouting, but anyway. I made it.
- Cheers Cate.
- Thanks LaMa. It's tennis I play. Maybe I don't mention it enough, lol.
Monday 21st September 2020
Weight: 190 - Body Fat: 42.4% - BMI: 28.9
Resting Heart Rate: 60
Sleep: 7 hr 38 min
Exercise: Tennis (1 hour)
Cigarettes: 13
Food:
- apple; americano; multivitamin
- 5 celebration sweets; wellbeing tea
- can of coke; toasted ham and cheese sandwich with extra light mayo
- fry's chocolate cream 49 g
- beef lasagne (not great); 3 potato croquettes and garlic mayo
Notes:
Presentation went well! What a relief. I am so tired this evening though, I expended a lot of energy today preparing for it, thinking about it, and delivering it. Work went very well overall.
Food today wasn't fantastic, but at least I had a dinner, even if it wasn't the healthiest choice. I'm just trying to work my way back into the good habits again. Was tempted to buy wine again today (after tennis seems to be a trigger) and there were two people in the shop at the same time as me this evening with a bottle of wine each in hand and nothing else, so I'm definitely not the only one who has fallen into the wine trap, but the good news is that I remembered I have to present again tomorrow and why ruin a good thing? So I'm going to finish my dinner now (it's blah), either watch a film or some episodes of New Girl and get up on time for a swim in the morning. Had a few night terrors last night, I think I woke myself up shouting, but anyway. I made it.
It's tennis I play. Maybe I don't mention it enough, lol.
I'm such an idiot sometimes, please excuse me. Congratulations on a presentation well done! Must be such a relief.- Thanks Cate and Petal.
- Cheers LaMa. You're not an idiot at all, I was having fun.
Tuesday 22nd September 2020
Weight: 190.5 - Body Fat: 42.3% - BMI: 29
Resting Heart Rate: 59 (Cardio Fitness 32-36 Average to Good)
Sleep: 8 hr 6 min
Exercise: Nada
Cigarettes: 13
Food:
- muesli and blueberries with whole milk
- slice of toast with butter and marmalade
- multivitamin; small cappuccino; 2 celebration sweets
- 2 instant coffees and milk; green tea with mint; banana
- salad of potato salad, tuna, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, pine nuts, cucumber
- 3 potato croquettes, breaded cod with small portion roasted vegetables and mushy peas
- bottle of white wine 12.5%
Notes:
I caved and bought the wine. I felt really, really tired this evening, and did not have the strength to say no to myself. I have enjoyed drinking it. It's still quite early, so hopefully I won't be so tired tomorrow. This is not something I want to keep doing, and I am going to keep tracking here until I get it right. I actually feel that being accountable here is helping.
I'm very happy I cooked dinner tonight. Still no broccoli, but the meals are getting better. Also had my proper breakfast and lunch today, and only 2 sweets as extras, which is pretty exciting. I feel really full, because I'm actually getting all the nutrients I need. Who knew that would happen?
There's stuff I could talk about tonight, but I feel like you probably wouldn't appreciate it. I'll just have to keep some stuff to myself. But full disclosure on my food choices, bad or not. That's the deal.
- Cheers LaMa. You're not an idiot at all, I was having fun.
Tuesday 22nd September 2020
Weight: 190.5 - Body Fat: 42.3% - BMI: 29
Resting Heart Rate: 59 (Cardio Fitness 32-36 Average to Good)
Sleep: 8 hr 6 min
Exercise: Nada
Cigarettes: 13
Food:
- muesli and blueberries with whole milk
- slice of toast with butter and marmalade
- multivitamin; small cappuccino; 2 celebration sweets
- 2 instant coffees and milk; green tea with mint; banana
- salad of potato salad, tuna, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, pine nuts, cucumber
- 3 potato croquettes, breaded cod with small portion roasted vegetables and mushy peas
- bottle of white wine 12.5%
Notes:
I caved and bought the wine. I felt really, really tired this evening, and did not have the strength to say no to myself. I have enjoyed drinking it. It's still quite early, so hopefully I won't be so tired tomorrow. This is not something I want to keep doing, and I am going to keep tracking here until I get it right. I actually feel that being accountable here is helping.
I'm very happy I cooked dinner tonight. Still no broccoli, but the meals are getting better. Also had my proper breakfast and lunch today, and only 2 sweets as extras, which is pretty exciting. I feel really full, because I'm actually getting all the nutrients I need. Who knew that would happen?
There's stuff I could talk about tonight, but I feel like you probably wouldn't appreciate it. I'll just have to keep some stuff to myself. But full disclosure on my food choices, bad or not. That's the deal.
Cate
Long term member
I love hearing about your "flirtations" and your tennis. You describe things so well & I can imagine it. I have always been attracted to dark, swarthy guys (SG & IG). Not for me the blue-eyed blondes.
Instead of buying a full bottle of wine next time, Em maybe buy some piccolos & only have one. Do you like bubbles? Even 2 piccolos are only just over half a bottle, 3 is still less...
Instead of buying a full bottle of wine next time, Em maybe buy some piccolos & only have one. Do you like bubbles? Even 2 piccolos are only just over half a bottle, 3 is still less...
- Thanks Cate.
- I don't know what drinking a bottle means for me LaMa. I don't get sick, but I felt really awful yesterday, and the horrible feeling had not gone away today. So not worth it.
- They brought out this menthol card that you can put into the box - it works really Petal, unfortunately.
So, I was really down in the doldrums about myself today - thinking all the bad things. I nearly skipped club night (I skipped yoga yesterday because I felt so fat in my clothes) but I knew if I did that, the tennis dream would be all over. So I dragged myself out the door. Ended up playing for 3 hours! My body will be broken tomorrow. But I feel so much better.
I think what I enjoy about tennis is that it doesn't really matter what you look like or how overweight you are or whatever - the point is to hit the ball and try to hit it well, and all that other stuff does not factor into it. And, even with the extra weight I'm carrying, I was still fit enough to play for 3 hours tonight, with no trouble really. Yes, I'm aching all over but I was able for it! That makes me feel good. I also played with some really nice people, and I had one 5 minute stretch of play where I was literally unstoppable, just playing out of my mind. It was so satisfying.
And no wine today or yesterday! I am going out for drinks tomorrow and Saturday but the early pub closure means it will only be for two hour stretches, so I should keep within an acceptable drinking limit. Anyway, social drinking is a lot better than the depressed drinking at home.
I guess I'm just going to have to keep fighting the good fight and work to boost my confidence to the point where all the crutches fall away and I stand upright, strong, on top of that mountain, looking at the beautiful view, and feeling so happy.
- I don't know what drinking a bottle means for me LaMa. I don't get sick, but I felt really awful yesterday, and the horrible feeling had not gone away today. So not worth it.
- They brought out this menthol card that you can put into the box - it works really Petal, unfortunately.
So, I was really down in the doldrums about myself today - thinking all the bad things. I nearly skipped club night (I skipped yoga yesterday because I felt so fat in my clothes) but I knew if I did that, the tennis dream would be all over. So I dragged myself out the door. Ended up playing for 3 hours! My body will be broken tomorrow. But I feel so much better.
I think what I enjoy about tennis is that it doesn't really matter what you look like or how overweight you are or whatever - the point is to hit the ball and try to hit it well, and all that other stuff does not factor into it. And, even with the extra weight I'm carrying, I was still fit enough to play for 3 hours tonight, with no trouble really. Yes, I'm aching all over but I was able for it! That makes me feel good. I also played with some really nice people, and I had one 5 minute stretch of play where I was literally unstoppable, just playing out of my mind. It was so satisfying.
And no wine today or yesterday! I am going out for drinks tomorrow and Saturday but the early pub closure means it will only be for two hour stretches, so I should keep within an acceptable drinking limit. Anyway, social drinking is a lot better than the depressed drinking at home.
I guess I'm just going to have to keep fighting the good fight and work to boost my confidence to the point where all the crutches fall away and I stand upright, strong, on top of that mountain, looking at the beautiful view, and feeling so happy.
- I will Cate, absolutely.
- Thank you LaMa.
- Thanks Petal. Night 1 was very enjoyable.
Today went fine. I had a very productive morning where I made a rule for myself that I couldn't get up from my desk until I got x amount of things done and it worked very well. I need to be a bit stricter with myself in future I think. Maybe since working from home I have been more lax, which doesn't work longterm. I also got a really good sleep last night after the tennis, which seemed to create the space I needed in my head to cope better with a serious amount of tedious tasks. So - good morning.
I got tired after lunch and didn't quite stick to the schedule, but very good week in work overall. I also got a lot more money this month because of back-pay, which is fantastic. I should be able to clear my credit card and then I will officially be debt-free. Nothing else to show for myself, but owing nothing to nobody, which is nice.
I work with a really nice girl who has such a great mindset and uses the law of attraction to an absolutely phenomenal degree. I have never seen so many good tidings fall upon someone before, and it's really inspiring to witness. Anyway, I always picture buying a house outright for myself. I hate the idea of owing money to the bank till retirement age (and at 34, I'm at risk of not getting a mortgage at the wage I'm at now, cos I'll never be able to pay it back). So, that all seems impossible, but then I think about how positive this colleague is and how she has defied the odds on numerous occasions (and I also won money very quickly after coming into contact with her) and I'm like - why the fuck not? Why not imagine having the cash to just buy myself a home? That is really something very important to me. I want to be self-sufficient in this life.
I was very sad yesterday before club night about all the things I haven't done yet, the fact I'm getting older, and the way that this world is built to exclude anyone from trying out anything after 30. It's like you have children and then you essentially die. And, I know that is not true, and that is not to insult anyone that is a mother on this forum. But I remember being a kid, and kind of realising how much of my parents' world revolved around me, and thinking how it was the most boring thing in the world to do the same thing day in, day out. And not everyone can be jetsetting around, and that is intrinsically boring and tedious in itself, but I have a real need to escape the mundane. I don't know what I'm waiting for really. I just can't buy a house where I live right now and stay in the job I'm in till retirement and be content or happy or whatever I am searching for. I just know that is not what I am meant to be doing. And it kills me that I don't know what I am meant to be doing.
- Thank you LaMa.
- Thanks Petal. Night 1 was very enjoyable.
Today went fine. I had a very productive morning where I made a rule for myself that I couldn't get up from my desk until I got x amount of things done and it worked very well. I need to be a bit stricter with myself in future I think. Maybe since working from home I have been more lax, which doesn't work longterm. I also got a really good sleep last night after the tennis, which seemed to create the space I needed in my head to cope better with a serious amount of tedious tasks. So - good morning.
I got tired after lunch and didn't quite stick to the schedule, but very good week in work overall. I also got a lot more money this month because of back-pay, which is fantastic. I should be able to clear my credit card and then I will officially be debt-free. Nothing else to show for myself, but owing nothing to nobody, which is nice.
I work with a really nice girl who has such a great mindset and uses the law of attraction to an absolutely phenomenal degree. I have never seen so many good tidings fall upon someone before, and it's really inspiring to witness. Anyway, I always picture buying a house outright for myself. I hate the idea of owing money to the bank till retirement age (and at 34, I'm at risk of not getting a mortgage at the wage I'm at now, cos I'll never be able to pay it back). So, that all seems impossible, but then I think about how positive this colleague is and how she has defied the odds on numerous occasions (and I also won money very quickly after coming into contact with her) and I'm like - why the fuck not? Why not imagine having the cash to just buy myself a home? That is really something very important to me. I want to be self-sufficient in this life.
I was very sad yesterday before club night about all the things I haven't done yet, the fact I'm getting older, and the way that this world is built to exclude anyone from trying out anything after 30. It's like you have children and then you essentially die. And, I know that is not true, and that is not to insult anyone that is a mother on this forum. But I remember being a kid, and kind of realising how much of my parents' world revolved around me, and thinking how it was the most boring thing in the world to do the same thing day in, day out. And not everyone can be jetsetting around, and that is intrinsically boring and tedious in itself, but I have a real need to escape the mundane. I don't know what I'm waiting for really. I just can't buy a house where I live right now and stay in the job I'm in till retirement and be content or happy or whatever I am searching for. I just know that is not what I am meant to be doing. And it kills me that I don't know what I am meant to be doing.
Being debt-free is pretty cool, congratulations!
As far as I know we have to make/choose our own purpose. But then I'm a cynical old bitch