Emily Rose: The Reboot

- Wow, that's so nice that you still have the pen Cate. I think it helps me to write them down sometimes.
- Haha, we have a work car for general use LaMa. :p
- Yes, the time is absolutely flying by Petal. Where has June gone?

Just a quick update really cos I feel like my life is getting a bit more fun again. A friend texted me yesterday so I've booked us in to a rooftop bar in town to meet him for a couple of hours in a few weeks time. The worst part is that I know I will want to go somewhere else afterwards, but we can play it by ear. Another friend texted inviting me out for her birthday at the end of next month, so that will also be very nice, and it was a surprise invitation really. I just love having people to meet and things to do.

I was reading about the number of cases in the US this morning and that got me a bit frightened again, but our numbers are still very low and I think people are trying their best to follow guidelines. One thing I will do is wear a mask on public transport - I think that's the least I can do. I probably won't be using it now until the week after next but we have masks in work I can take anyway, so that's good. My hardline stance on masks has eased slightly. I think I've been a bit pigheaded about it. I guess I was just scared that the world as I knew it was crumbling around me. Now I've kind of come to terms with it.

I have a tennis game at 2 - there's a group of 6 of us meeting, so I think we will probably move around and I will get to play with a few different people, which is way more fun. I haven't met 3 of them before, so hopefully it goes well and I will have a few more potential playing partners.

My plan before that is to go to the local shopping centre, grab a coffee, maybe a late breakfast or lunch of some kind, depending on if the sandwich place I want to go to is open. Then it will be nearly time to go, I'll be back here again for about 3.30pm, will shower, then I have to go back to the shopping centre I went to after work yesterday because they never took the tags off the gorgeous blue suit jacket I bought. I had an amazing one years ago, I can't remember what happened to it, so I was really excited to find a replacement. I also got a gorgeous polka dot dress that doesn't quite fit (think Minnie Mouse), but the goal is that it will fit by the time that birthday party rolls around. Good to have goals.

Actually, after I went shopping yesterday, I drove to a beach about 25 minutes away, even though it was kind of raining and a bit dull and foggy. I got out of the car and walked to the edge of the water and had my feet in the sea for a couple of minutes. It was great actually. The sea air is really reviving or something. Anyway, that was it, just wanted to share that, haha.
 
Hey Emily, really good to hear that you "feel like my life is getting a bit more fun again"! Fun is important.

Yeah the virus cases are up here in the US and I believe will get higher. I was amazed on my trip, Florida has one of the highest rates but people were not being very careful. Almost everyone I met extended their hands to shake. I started accepting and then trying to quickly wash mine afterwards. Refusing a handshake is (or was) considered an insult here. I suspect that the virus will just run its course in the US, some significant portion of the population will get it. I don't see the political or social will to go back to strict controls. And people are telling lots of anecdotal stories about how it really isn't so bad. Still not much good science...

I love beaches too!
 
Almost everyone I met extended their hands to shake. I started accepting and then trying to quickly wash mine afterwards.

Hi Rob. I laughed at the idea of you shaking hands with someone to be polite and then quickly looking around for an exit strategy so you could skip to the nearest bathroom! :p

I think still shaking hands in this climate is a bit silly - I see some states are closing up shop again as things have escalated. That's the nightmare scenario. I guess what we are trying to do in Ireland is to slowly ease the restrictions so that we don't have to go into lockdown again. The cases are climbing a little bit here again, mostly among young people, which isn't surprising. I guess we'll just have to do our bit and wait and see how it pans out.

Today was okay. My food was good overall. I had prepared a healthy lunch last night and had that, and I have another one prepped for tomorrow. It takes 10 minutes to make, there really is no excuse for just not bothering, which is what has been happening lately. My weight is still completely out of control, but the tennis at least is keeping my fitness up a bit. So if I just improved even slightly on the food, I do believe it should drop quite fast again.

The good news is that my gym is open again this week. I booked in for a class Wednesday morning and the plan is to go every second day. I will probably be very enthusiastic about it at the beginning, so hopefully between that and the tennis, I will see some positive changes. I really need a boost.

The cute Italian guy was at the tennis court this evening. He didn't seem as friendly as last time, which is a pity. :( Ah well. At least I'm getting out there again, haha.

I went to another beach yesterday, it was lovely. I am going to try to go once a week and get back swimming in the sea again. I wasn't prepared this weekend, but I will be next time.
 
The exercise is doing you lots of good, Em. Well done on prepping your food for the next day. It really does make such a difference, & as you say, does not take much time, just a bit of planning ahead. I'm glad you're starting to feel much better. I never did get to the beach or have a swim last Summer, or the one before that, or.....
 
Em I haven’t swam in the sea in years . Maybe this summer. Good thing about Ireland even when you live inland the beach is only ever a couple of hours away .
cases rose a bit yesterday. It’s not good . Our office is nearly back to full capacity and no real social distance from what I see . I am just trying to mind myself now .
Hope your weight drops soon. It’s so bloody hard
 
- Thanks Cate.
- Yeah, I am going to look fairly fat in my swimming togs, but fuckit, I'll go LaMa.
- It is so hard Petal. Especially since I've gained a stone on top of the original weight I wanted to lose. :nopity:

Okay guys. Let's do this.

Can you believe the first half of 2020 is almost over? I mean, part of me thinks that is a positive development. What a crazy time the first half of the year has been.

I've been in pandemic-mode for the last 14 weeks, and I have gained about 14 pounds (1 stone). That's about a pound a week, which, when I think about it, makes complete sense. That's only an extra 500 calories a day, which can come from a bottle of wine, tub of ice cream, 2 chocolate bars, half a pizza, etc. All stuff I have stuffed myself with for the last couple of months with no regard for what it's been doing to my body. And you know what? It's okay. I'm giving myself a free pass this time. The world went to shit and I switched to default food binge mode. Do I wish I had another method of 'coping' with stress? Yes. Am I going to spend the rest of my life trying to find a better way? You can bet on it. But - what's done is done.

In some ways, gaining a stone is so minor compared to all the horrible things that could have happened this year so far, and sadly have happened to many people. I have escaped coronavirus with only a belly. Other people have scarred lungs, are dead, or have lost someone close to them. So I'm really going to get a grip and not get all mopey and start to feel sorry for myself that my eating and drinking got out of control. That's okay. In the grand scheme of things, this is a very small obstacle to have to overcome.

So, 6 months into 2020, what am I grateful for? I am grateful that my parents are both in fantastic health. I am grateful to be in a permanent job getting the same salary as I was on, in a relatively stable market that shouldn't be hit too badly because of the pandemic. I am grateful that I joined a tennis club. I am grateful that I have significantly reduced my smoking (none today) and that I can finally see a way of quitting for good. I am grateful for lots of things really. I won't keep going on and on and on.

Sidenote - I am grateful for the people you meet along the way. I called to our local cafe for lunch today but it still wasn't open. The owner was inside and he came out to me and was chatting for ages about how there are not enough people back in the offices around to justify him reopening just yet. Then he asked me to come inside and gave me some out-of-date crisps to take away with me and a free bottle of water, so that I didn't go away empty-handed. I mean, what a thoughtful gesture. (The crisps were perfect by the way, he just wouldn't be able to sell them.) It really warmed my heart. So I'll definitely be calling in there for soup or a sandwich when he gets back on track.

So tomorrow marks the start of the second half of the year, and I am determined to spend it working my butt off physically and working on my emotional health and wellbeing. I have booked a gym class for 7 am in the morning - very enthusiastic about that, although it will probably be a bit of a shock when the alarm goes off. Still, it's not so bad when it's bright outside. I have my lunch prepared, I bought some muesli for my breakfast, I have healthy snacks for throughout the day, and I have chicken in the fridge for dinner. I know it won't be easy, but it's time to get out of pandemic-mode and get into MEGA-mode. (Make Emily Great Again. :patriot:) I am planning a run when I get back from work and other than that, no smoking or drinking till Friday night when I have an occasion. I'm not cutting either out completely because I'll crack up. But going to save it for weekends from now on. Hopefully, that method works. Let's try.
 
Love the MEGA slogan . Hope you up and ready for the gym . Em you are not alone with weight gain over the lock down. I know I maintained but so many did put on. You have a great attitude it will come off fast .
 
- No problem Cate. :)
- Thanks Petal. I read your message after I had done my workout. :D
- There will be hats Rob. :hat:

Today was a kind of mixed day. I guess it was successful, but I did have about an hour in work where I was in absolute despair, and I had to try to reason my way out of it. I get so irrational about things. It's not good!

I got my ass out of bed this morning with relative ease, but to be fair, I had woken up every hour from about half 4 and had been dreaming about my first gym session back. So my sleep was a bit disturbed and I hit a wall after lunch today. I'm a lot better this evening. I guess my body is a little bit frightened about 'the new normal'. Lol. I actually have a healthy glow already though - maybe that's my imagination, but I don't think so. It just shows what some exercise and good food can do!

The gym session went very well - the tennis has kept my fitness levels higher than I expected. I didn't find the class that bad at all. I treated myself to breakfast in the adjoining cafe after - it felt so good to be eating out and having someone to bring me my breakfast and coffee and having a bit of life around me again! I was delighted with life. I got eggs with avocado on one slice of sourdough bread, so pretty healthy overall. And a black coffee with milk - I'm banning lattes and cappuccinos, they are the devil for adding extra calories that I don't need. They have contributed to at least 2 pounds of this gain I'd say.

I did a little yoga workout about half an hour ago. I hadn't planned for it, but I felt like doing it. The sides of my feet are actually very sore from the tennis, which is annoying. Anyway, my body was in a lot of pain during the yoga session, which means that it is really not happy with me right now. I can just feel the effects of the bad lifestyle. I think it's when you stop and try to reverse that you realise how far down shit creek you've actually travelled. But at least I'm trying again. That is all that matters.

Stomach very upset after a proper dinner - body still in shock. Going to sleep very soon and booked in for pilates in the morning. Playing tennis with my dad after work. Then it's almost the weekend. Whoo-hoo.
 
You may have gone down shit creek a bit, Em, but you found your paddle before you went too far.
I love hearing about all of your activities. Are you still getting messages from SG?
 
Hi Cate. I haven't heard from SG in a while, but I'm not really interested in meeting him at the moment, so it kind of suits me. I feel like a whale, I don't want anyone to touch me.

Good day today. I have something looming in work tomorrow and I was angry after work cos I couldn't buy a bottle of wine to kind of forget about, because I need to be fresh tomorrow, and now I'm so happy that I didn't. The gym sessions in the morning should also help eradicate this awful habit. I got up again this morning for pilates, and I was a bit tired, but nowhere near the tired I'd be after drinking wine the evening before. I am starting to feel the benefits. And, even though I've gained weight, I am actually quite toned, so if I can get even 10 pounds of it gone, I won't be looking too bad at all. I don't even look bad now, to be honest, but I hate the paunch. That to me is just so unattractive. It looks horrible, it feels horrible, and it's ruining a lot of my clothes.

I have a wax booked for tomorrow after work - exciting! I love my wax therapist - and then I am visiting some drama group friends for some beers and chat about the future of the group. Which seems extremely grim right now. I also just realised that I accidentally signed up for a tennis game this Saturday - I thought it was next Saturday she meant, having read the text at 6 am this morning - so now I have tennis on Saturday and Sunday this weekend. I have actually gone over my quota of games for the week as well - we're only meant to book in 3 - but it was an honest mistake, and I don't really want to cancel now. So onwards we go.

The mad thing about getting up for the gym in the morning is how early you have to go to bed. I would like to watch a film now, but it's 9pm already! Eek. I am a lot happier for it though. Back on track, staying on track, never stop never stoppin'.
 
e mad thing about getting up for the gym in the morning is how early you have to go to bed. I would like to watch a film now, but it's 9pm already! Eek. I am a lot happier for it though. Back on track, staying on track, never stop never stoppin'.
So true. I´m used to getting up early but now I´m brushing my teeth by 9 pm and trying to be asleep by 9:30 :eek:
 
- Thanks C.
- Yeah, I love getting to sleep early now LaMa.

Not so early to sleep tonight! Was in town earlier, it was super busy, and then had a few pints and glasses of wine in my friends' house. They have a really lovely apartment in town - they are really good people, and they have loads of interesting stories. I really enjoyed my evening.

Tennis tomorrow and then the cinema to see Joker. I missed out on it the first time around.

I burned 3,193 calories today according to my Fitbit, and I don't think I ate or drank that amount, so praying to see some movement at my next weigh-in on Sunday. There's no point weighing in after drinking, it will always show as 3 pounds lighter, then balloon back up, once hydration levels return to normal. Wow, listen to me, what an expert! Haha.
 
There's no point weighing in after drinking, it will always show as 3 pounds lighter, then balloon back up, once hydration levels return to normal.
Hey, you´re not lying to yourself and that´s pretty good in my book. Also: sounds like a fun night out, although the busy places do still make me nervous at the moment.
 
Glad you had a good night out, I think you needed it!

How are they doing distancing at your cinema? They are open here, but I have not been to one since the virus.

You are at least as expert as I!
 
- Thanks LaMa, it was. I didn't go into any busy shops, but just the streets themselves were busy and pretty vibrant.
- I did Rob, haha! When you book your seats at the cinema, they lock the ones next to you and around you, so that everyone will be separate from each other. I was in one of the biggest cinema screens tonight, and there were only 14 of us there, but it was more than I expected, to be honest. Really enjoyed it. I'll be making it a weekly ritual.

Had such a great day. I woke up at 8 am not feeling too hungover, which was a tremendous start. I had cancelled my gym classes the night before, but since I was up anyway and knew I wouldn't get back to sleep, I booked into them again. Then I got the bus into town, cos I'd left my car in town from the night before, and had enough of a window to get breakfast without it being too close to my gym session. I was actually really hungry - I didn't eat much yesterday cos I was just running from one thing to the next all day. It was so amazing to have my breakfast out, I was loving being in the city and just reading my book and chilling. There was no queue or anything, it was great.

I did two gym sessions back to back, hangover completely eradicated at that stage, and then I hung around in Starbucks for a while until it was time for my tennis game at 3pm. That went well, I actually played pretty good, I did get angry about the score at one point though, I have a bit of the McEnroe temper going on, but luckily, I managed to calm down. Lol.

Then I came home, had a shower, went to the cinema, came back and talked to my housemate for a bit, and now I'm in bed and contemplating whether I will watch something or just go to sleep.

I have the gym again in the morning, make hay while the sun shines and all that. I'm going to try to go every day until I get back to 179, then I will regroup. Praying I see a scale drop tomorrow. Physically, I feel so much better already. And I had two different random guys trying to talk to me in Starbucks today, and that felt like affirmation that what I'm doing is paying off in terms of looking better. I'm definitely feeling more myself and out of this awful slump. I've actually arranged a date with SG in a couple of weeks as well, looking forward to that. Although I am really intrigued by the Italian tennis guy - I just want to find out if he's single or not. If he's not, I will forget about him. He's fairly handsome. :)
 
It sounds like a lovely weekend, Em.
 
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