Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
- No, I wouldn't be bothered Petal, lol.
- Thanks Cate.
- Yeah, I like McDonald's LaMa if I'm feeling like crappy food, because I don't feel stuffed after having it but it satisfies the craving. Whereas a takeaway here with chips and a burger is probably about double the calories.
Tennis Day 3 - not great. The woman I was playing against was far too good. She was also not enjoying playing against me, and when it started to rain, she suggested we take a 'break', which was just delay tactics for less court time. Having said that, tennis is amazing for the mind and body and I feel great after the workout. I think because you have to be concentrating all the time, it really empties my head of a lot of the nonsense I carry around with me, so it's just so good for me. I hope I get some more games next week and find some people that are at my level and where we both get a lot out of the hour.
One of the girls in work came into the office today. I felt like I wasn't that nice to her. I don't know, some things about her just really annoy me. She's just so obsessed with everyone else in the office and the level of work that they are doing (or not doing) and it really is her downfall. Concentrate on your own work is my motto. If they are dossing, they will be found out - that's none of my business. She's a nice girl, but I honestly think the whole world is annoying me at this point. I used to be a lot more charitable with people and genuinely liked most of the people I encountered. I would like to get that back, it was a nice bubble to be in.
We're slowly moving out of lockdown with the next phase of lessened restrictions starting on Monday. We pretty much have free reign to travel anywhere within our own county (I'm in the best one for that, haha), libraries and most shops are open again, and you can gather in bigger groups again. I've felt nearly back to normal this week with the tennis games and being back in the office today, plus my workload has skyrocketed. Which is fine, I can hack it.
Don't know what my plans are for the weekend. SG wanted to meet but I told him I'm not feeling or looking my best so can we hold off for a bit. He said he's not either but he wanted to meet anyway, which I thought was quite sweet. Maybe I underestimated the man, who knows?
Oh yeah, I spotted a cute guy at the tennis court yesterday and he was there again today before my game. I heard him speaking to his friend and he had an Italian/maybe Spanish accent? Haha, I do love the foreigners!
He was nice though, he smiled and said hello and looked over a few times. Maybe I don't look so completely terrible, who knows? TBC...
I started watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on Netflix, I am obsessed with their money and houses. One woman has two kids and four nannies. (She's married to Frasier.) One woman spent 60,000 dollars on her four-year-old daughter's birthday party. Like, it blows my mind. I love watching it, haha.
- Thanks Cate.
- Yeah, I like McDonald's LaMa if I'm feeling like crappy food, because I don't feel stuffed after having it but it satisfies the craving. Whereas a takeaway here with chips and a burger is probably about double the calories.
Tennis Day 3 - not great. The woman I was playing against was far too good. She was also not enjoying playing against me, and when it started to rain, she suggested we take a 'break', which was just delay tactics for less court time. Having said that, tennis is amazing for the mind and body and I feel great after the workout. I think because you have to be concentrating all the time, it really empties my head of a lot of the nonsense I carry around with me, so it's just so good for me. I hope I get some more games next week and find some people that are at my level and where we both get a lot out of the hour.
One of the girls in work came into the office today. I felt like I wasn't that nice to her. I don't know, some things about her just really annoy me. She's just so obsessed with everyone else in the office and the level of work that they are doing (or not doing) and it really is her downfall. Concentrate on your own work is my motto. If they are dossing, they will be found out - that's none of my business. She's a nice girl, but I honestly think the whole world is annoying me at this point. I used to be a lot more charitable with people and genuinely liked most of the people I encountered. I would like to get that back, it was a nice bubble to be in.
We're slowly moving out of lockdown with the next phase of lessened restrictions starting on Monday. We pretty much have free reign to travel anywhere within our own county (I'm in the best one for that, haha), libraries and most shops are open again, and you can gather in bigger groups again. I've felt nearly back to normal this week with the tennis games and being back in the office today, plus my workload has skyrocketed. Which is fine, I can hack it.
Don't know what my plans are for the weekend. SG wanted to meet but I told him I'm not feeling or looking my best so can we hold off for a bit. He said he's not either but he wanted to meet anyway, which I thought was quite sweet. Maybe I underestimated the man, who knows?
Oh yeah, I spotted a cute guy at the tennis court yesterday and he was there again today before my game. I heard him speaking to his friend and he had an Italian/maybe Spanish accent? Haha, I do love the foreigners!
He was nice though, he smiled and said hello and looked over a few times. Maybe I don't look so completely terrible, who knows? TBC...I started watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on Netflix, I am obsessed with their money and houses. One woman has two kids and four nannies. (She's married to Frasier.) One woman spent 60,000 dollars on her four-year-old daughter's birthday party. Like, it blows my mind. I love watching it, haha.
- Yeah, me too Petal. Roads were so busy all weekend.
Today I had a pretty good day in terms of looking after myself. Unfortunately, looking after myself does not mean that I feel good. I actually feel better when I'm not looking after myself, which is a very worrying thing. I'm just feeling a bit down and 'What's the point?' about everything. And, you know, even if I weighed 10 stone, that feeling is not going away. I wonder what it would feel like to be in someone else's head for a while that seems peaceful and happy. What kind of thoughts do they think? Do they need to really motivate themselves to do anything or does it just come naturally?
My mother can never understand why I am so untidy (well, my room anyway - I've learned to be a lot better in the shared living spaces) and it's something I don't understand myself, but I find it so difficult to put things away. And I don't really think it's laziness, because I'm not lazy in a lot of other areas in my life. I am one of those people who never make my bed in the morning. And I mean never. It doesn't even occur to me that it might be a good idea to make it. That can't be right. I was sitting in my car the other day looking at the absolute chaos that resides inside it, wondering why I have so little regard for the things I own and have spent money on. What does that mean? What does that say about me? Maybe I am actually a nihilist. I don't know.
In other news, my hair has been giving me a lot of trouble for the last while. It just hasn't been growing, it's been falling out, and it's generally thin, fried up and in terrible condition. I've been really trying to look after it during this pandemic - only washing it every 3 days, doing lots of massaging with my fingernails, leaving the conditioner in for longer, buying organic hair products... Anyway, today has been the first day where I've really seen that it has grown and is looking a lot better. I bought this hot chocolate called Cocoa Locks a couple of days ago - it's a hot chocolate with added biotin and folic acid, so I had my first one of those tonight. I feel like it will help my hair but I'm also getting a sugar kick from it. A win all round.
My weight has gone up again, I'm not even going to report what it was this morning because I'm actually embarrassed. I feel so down about it but I also know that I need to start taking steps to get it to stop going up at the very least. I went for a run today, a walk in the woods, and did 30 minutes of yoga. I did eat chocolate and cake but the rest of my food was homemade and healthy. I'm hoping it will go down as quickly as it went up. It's very sad.
I have 4 tennis games lined up for this week, which is great. It's scary asking if anyone wants to play, not knowing if anyone will say yes. But I got 3 volunteers, 2 of whom I played against last week, and I'm also playing my dad as well. So it's great. First game of the week tomorrow evening.
It's nearly 10 pm but I don't feel tired at all. Not sure if I should watch something or try to read or what. I want to be up by 6.30 am tomorrow because I have such a busy day in work and I'm kind of stressed about it. I don't like that I am so stressed about work. I really don't think that's right. But I'm not there this second, so time to put it out of my mind, maybe do some deep breathing, and get a good night's rest.
Oh yes - no smoking the last 2 days. It's definitely playing on my mind a bit this evening, and probably bringing up the thoughts of death and a lot of other negative stuff, because I'm not using cigarettes to mask the pain I'm in. I'm not going to say I'm off them forever, because I will smoke again, but I'm just taking it day by day. I had 4 days smoke free this week overall, same as last week. So I am definitely making progress and learning to get through the day and not really need them or particularly miss them.
Right, that's it, I promise! Have a good week all.
Today I had a pretty good day in terms of looking after myself. Unfortunately, looking after myself does not mean that I feel good. I actually feel better when I'm not looking after myself, which is a very worrying thing. I'm just feeling a bit down and 'What's the point?' about everything. And, you know, even if I weighed 10 stone, that feeling is not going away. I wonder what it would feel like to be in someone else's head for a while that seems peaceful and happy. What kind of thoughts do they think? Do they need to really motivate themselves to do anything or does it just come naturally?
My mother can never understand why I am so untidy (well, my room anyway - I've learned to be a lot better in the shared living spaces) and it's something I don't understand myself, but I find it so difficult to put things away. And I don't really think it's laziness, because I'm not lazy in a lot of other areas in my life. I am one of those people who never make my bed in the morning. And I mean never. It doesn't even occur to me that it might be a good idea to make it. That can't be right. I was sitting in my car the other day looking at the absolute chaos that resides inside it, wondering why I have so little regard for the things I own and have spent money on. What does that mean? What does that say about me? Maybe I am actually a nihilist. I don't know.
In other news, my hair has been giving me a lot of trouble for the last while. It just hasn't been growing, it's been falling out, and it's generally thin, fried up and in terrible condition. I've been really trying to look after it during this pandemic - only washing it every 3 days, doing lots of massaging with my fingernails, leaving the conditioner in for longer, buying organic hair products... Anyway, today has been the first day where I've really seen that it has grown and is looking a lot better. I bought this hot chocolate called Cocoa Locks a couple of days ago - it's a hot chocolate with added biotin and folic acid, so I had my first one of those tonight. I feel like it will help my hair but I'm also getting a sugar kick from it. A win all round.
My weight has gone up again, I'm not even going to report what it was this morning because I'm actually embarrassed. I feel so down about it but I also know that I need to start taking steps to get it to stop going up at the very least. I went for a run today, a walk in the woods, and did 30 minutes of yoga. I did eat chocolate and cake but the rest of my food was homemade and healthy. I'm hoping it will go down as quickly as it went up. It's very sad.
I have 4 tennis games lined up for this week, which is great. It's scary asking if anyone wants to play, not knowing if anyone will say yes. But I got 3 volunteers, 2 of whom I played against last week, and I'm also playing my dad as well. So it's great. First game of the week tomorrow evening.
It's nearly 10 pm but I don't feel tired at all. Not sure if I should watch something or try to read or what. I want to be up by 6.30 am tomorrow because I have such a busy day in work and I'm kind of stressed about it. I don't like that I am so stressed about work. I really don't think that's right. But I'm not there this second, so time to put it out of my mind, maybe do some deep breathing, and get a good night's rest.
Oh yes - no smoking the last 2 days. It's definitely playing on my mind a bit this evening, and probably bringing up the thoughts of death and a lot of other negative stuff, because I'm not using cigarettes to mask the pain I'm in. I'm not going to say I'm off them forever, because I will smoke again, but I'm just taking it day by day. I had 4 days smoke free this week overall, same as last week. So I am definitely making progress and learning to get through the day and not really need them or particularly miss them.
Right, that's it, I promise! Have a good week all.
I'm sorry you're struggling, Em. These are weird times and they too can mess with your head.- No Cate, no therapist. Not gone on the idea.
- Yeah, I'm a lot better today, thanks LaMa.
- Oh my God Petal, you love making your bed? Haha. I really need to just start doing it. Next week maybe.
Played tennis again tonight. Oh my God, I got the workout of my life. If those scales don't start moving in the right direction, I will have to visit the doctor cos there is clearly something wrong.
The woman I played against was really nice - she's as fit as a fiddle, I honestly thought she was in her early 40s, but then she told me she has 4 grown-up sons and 5 grandchildren, so she must be at least 50! She looks fantastic. She had been playing someone else for an hour and a quarter before me, then played me for another hour and a quarter, and she wasn't even sweating! I had sweat dripping down my back, I was so killed from all the running! She's a real inspiration in terms of keeping yourself fit and healthy at any stage of life. I really need a good kick up the bum, as I have just let things go to shit far too early in my life on this planet.
Anyway, the tennis game was really enjoyable. I played her last week and she said to me afterwards that I have improved so much in just a week. I really felt that myself to be honest. I feel fantastic after it. I heart tennis.
All of those noises I'm making on the court must be acting as some kind of mating call, as SG texted me today and another guy from the drama group that I found out a couple of weeks ago had told my friend that he really liked me on a night out. There must be something in that pandemic air!
Working my butt off in work, it's non-stop. I'm half-enjoying it, half-stressed out of my mind, but look, I'm doing what I can. I think they know I'm working hard.
Tomorrow is a work day - I'm not leaving till I get through my list of stuff. I'll try to get out for a walk or run in the evening, but I can tell already I'm going to be in serious pain tomorrow from the tennis game tonight. Wednesday I have more tennis with a new person, so that will be interesting. I hope they are just slightly better than me. Thursday I play my dad and Friday I play a woman I played last week that I am a bit better than, which is more relaxing and not as hardcore on the body. (The better your opponent, the more running you have to do.) Saturday I will spend walking around the glorious city, visiting the LIBRARY (so exciting), getting coffee, reading. Sunday I might go for a drive to a beach, weather-dependent, as we are finally allowed to do that again. So it's a pretty good week ahead to be honest.
The scales had gone up a tiny bit again this morning, I am in despair. I don't understand what's happening, but I did get my period today, so maybe I'm just a bit clogged up. I really need it to start going down.
I also gave in and smoked today. My excuse: major work pressure. I will start again tomorrow. Or do I mean stop? Lol.
All in all, a pretty good day.
- Yeah, I'm a lot better today, thanks LaMa.
- Oh my God Petal, you love making your bed? Haha. I really need to just start doing it. Next week maybe.
Played tennis again tonight. Oh my God, I got the workout of my life. If those scales don't start moving in the right direction, I will have to visit the doctor cos there is clearly something wrong.
The woman I played against was really nice - she's as fit as a fiddle, I honestly thought she was in her early 40s, but then she told me she has 4 grown-up sons and 5 grandchildren, so she must be at least 50! She looks fantastic. She had been playing someone else for an hour and a quarter before me, then played me for another hour and a quarter, and she wasn't even sweating! I had sweat dripping down my back, I was so killed from all the running! She's a real inspiration in terms of keeping yourself fit and healthy at any stage of life. I really need a good kick up the bum, as I have just let things go to shit far too early in my life on this planet.
Anyway, the tennis game was really enjoyable. I played her last week and she said to me afterwards that I have improved so much in just a week. I really felt that myself to be honest. I feel fantastic after it. I heart tennis.
All of those noises I'm making on the court must be acting as some kind of mating call, as SG texted me today and another guy from the drama group that I found out a couple of weeks ago had told my friend that he really liked me on a night out. There must be something in that pandemic air!
Working my butt off in work, it's non-stop. I'm half-enjoying it, half-stressed out of my mind, but look, I'm doing what I can. I think they know I'm working hard.
Tomorrow is a work day - I'm not leaving till I get through my list of stuff. I'll try to get out for a walk or run in the evening, but I can tell already I'm going to be in serious pain tomorrow from the tennis game tonight. Wednesday I have more tennis with a new person, so that will be interesting. I hope they are just slightly better than me. Thursday I play my dad and Friday I play a woman I played last week that I am a bit better than, which is more relaxing and not as hardcore on the body. (The better your opponent, the more running you have to do.) Saturday I will spend walking around the glorious city, visiting the LIBRARY (so exciting), getting coffee, reading. Sunday I might go for a drive to a beach, weather-dependent, as we are finally allowed to do that again. So it's a pretty good week ahead to be honest.
The scales had gone up a tiny bit again this morning, I am in despair. I don't understand what's happening, but I did get my period today, so maybe I'm just a bit clogged up. I really need it to start going down.
I also gave in and smoked today. My excuse: major work pressure. I will start again tomorrow. Or do I mean stop? Lol.
All in all, a pretty good day.
DietAccountability101
Active member
My word, I could have written the first two paragraphs of your post from yesterday! I think everybody struggles with motivation on at least something. I'm sure you have certain good habits that are so ingrained that you don't even realise that it's a thing for people to have to think about them twice.
Well done on your good days. The scales will soon catch up with you!
Well done on your good days. The scales will soon catch up with you!
One of my factory colleagues had her third grandchild just before her 42nd birthday so you never know. Your post made my laugh a lot, by the way. You're a whirlwind suddenly! Also: the scale going up when you're sore is normal. You should start seeing the first drops again in a week or so.
Petal001
New member
Em I think the whole working population in the private sector are totally overworked right now . I'm same as you at moment half enjoying and half stressing with work. I am making lists and making sure my list is getting shorter and not longer . It helps .i have a huge project starting though that will be hell for 2 months but should make life easier in the long run.
Good job on all the tennis . You sound really happy . Hope you go on dates with both those men . Go play the field a bit as well as the tennis .
Good job on all the tennis . You sound really happy . Hope you go on dates with both those men . Go play the field a bit as well as the tennis .
- Thanks DA, I appreciate it. It's nice to know I'm not alone in my struggles.
- Haha LaMa, a whirlwind! I like it! I don't think anyone would ever accuse me of being even-tempered. I'm very much all or nothing.
- Haha, thank you Petal.
I am in absolute agony tonight after my tennis game. I felt great while playing and my opponent wasn't as tough as the woman on Monday, but since I've had my shower, I can barely walk. My ass cheeks are sore. I'm sure you really wanted to know that, lol.
The good news is that I was down over a pound this morning so I know that the tennis is working! I think, in relative terms, I had a good eating day today, so I hope the scales cooperates again in the morning.
Completely behind in my work at the moment, I am setting my alarm for 6.30 am tomorrow so that I can be in there by half 7 at the latest. I'm feeling the heat! But I had a good working day overall. Some of my colleagues are back, and I feel so much better just from having random conversations all day. My colleague said she was dreading coming back, but then today she said she's actually enjoyed being in the last few days, which I'm going to take as a compliment.
Anyway, the early start tomorrow means I intend to be asleep by 10, which is very possible, as I feel so physically tired after my game. I started reading a new book Dirty Little Secrets yesterday by Jo Spain, it's really gripping. So I'll watch an episode of New Girl and read that and hopefully sleep like an overweight log. I'm just thankful I'm not an obese log, I do not want to be that ever again. I feel like I am taking positive steps for sure.
- Haha LaMa, a whirlwind! I like it! I don't think anyone would ever accuse me of being even-tempered. I'm very much all or nothing.
- Haha, thank you Petal.
I am in absolute agony tonight after my tennis game. I felt great while playing and my opponent wasn't as tough as the woman on Monday, but since I've had my shower, I can barely walk. My ass cheeks are sore. I'm sure you really wanted to know that, lol.
The good news is that I was down over a pound this morning so I know that the tennis is working! I think, in relative terms, I had a good eating day today, so I hope the scales cooperates again in the morning.
Completely behind in my work at the moment, I am setting my alarm for 6.30 am tomorrow so that I can be in there by half 7 at the latest. I'm feeling the heat! But I had a good working day overall. Some of my colleagues are back, and I feel so much better just from having random conversations all day. My colleague said she was dreading coming back, but then today she said she's actually enjoyed being in the last few days, which I'm going to take as a compliment.
Anyway, the early start tomorrow means I intend to be asleep by 10, which is very possible, as I feel so physically tired after my game. I started reading a new book Dirty Little Secrets yesterday by Jo Spain, it's really gripping. So I'll watch an episode of New Girl and read that and hopefully sleep like an overweight log. I'm just thankful I'm not an obese log, I do not want to be that ever again. I feel like I am taking positive steps for sure.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Good for you! The exercise is paying off.
I was wondering! Sore is good, a sign of progress.
- Thanks LaMa. These glutes are made for walkin'...
- I'm baaaaaaack Cate.
- Haha, Petal, I actually did meet a woman who works in our sister office one day and she was kind of how I imagine you to be. I don't think you're the same person though, or are you?
- Lol, thanks for wondering Rob.
I'll try to keep it short this evening. Hay fever is kicking my ass. Played tennis tonight and I have been suffering from red eye and sniffles all evening. And it's not even sunny! Quite warm though.
Had day from hell in work, just frantic, nearly got into a tiff with Work Colleague, managed to rein it in, we had a laugh by the end of the day, so I think it's okay. It's terrible when you can rile someone up too easily. Agh! Stress.
Still very sore from tennis and I am playing two games tomorrow! The woman from Monday texted me to play tomorrow night, and I'm already pencilled in for after work, but I didn't want to say no cos I'm still so new and I need a few tennis buddies. I probably won't be able to walk this weekend. Oh God. I am also kind of happy about the calorie burning that 2 sessions will involve. Scales a teeny bit better again today. I mean, still awful, but moving down. I also feel I burned through 1000 calories today just from stress, so maybe that was the missing ingredient all along. I've been too relaxed!
Overall, good week, loving being back to a more social existence. Watched Just Friends earlier for weight loss motivation. Not a great film unfortunately. Right, more tomorrow, if I survive a harrowing work day + two and a half hours of tennis on top of it. May God help me.
- I'm baaaaaaack Cate.
- Haha, Petal, I actually did meet a woman who works in our sister office one day and she was kind of how I imagine you to be. I don't think you're the same person though, or are you?
- Lol, thanks for wondering Rob.
I'll try to keep it short this evening. Hay fever is kicking my ass. Played tennis tonight and I have been suffering from red eye and sniffles all evening. And it's not even sunny! Quite warm though.
Had day from hell in work, just frantic, nearly got into a tiff with Work Colleague, managed to rein it in, we had a laugh by the end of the day, so I think it's okay. It's terrible when you can rile someone up too easily. Agh! Stress.
Still very sore from tennis and I am playing two games tomorrow! The woman from Monday texted me to play tomorrow night, and I'm already pencilled in for after work, but I didn't want to say no cos I'm still so new and I need a few tennis buddies. I probably won't be able to walk this weekend. Oh God. I am also kind of happy about the calorie burning that 2 sessions will involve. Scales a teeny bit better again today. I mean, still awful, but moving down. I also feel I burned through 1000 calories today just from stress, so maybe that was the missing ingredient all along. I've been too relaxed!
Overall, good week, loving being back to a more social existence. Watched Just Friends earlier for weight loss motivation. Not a great film unfortunately. Right, more tomorrow, if I survive a harrowing work day + two and a half hours of tennis on top of it. May God help me.