Emily Rose: The Reboot

That sounds really good, with friends at work and elsewhere. :) And how cheerful, to be down into the 170s! Great start to the year!
 
Like Amy says, good to see you in the 170s, you are off to a great start.
 
- No, sadly not LaMa. That's the real first day back at work.
- God, that sounds amazing Cate, I hope that day comes soon.
- Back up again today Amy, but not far away.
- Thanks Rob, I'll prob be teetering around the edge for a while, but at least I've started to take action.

DAY 3 - FRIDAY 3RD JANUARY 2020 - TOASTY BY THE FIRE

Weight: 180.1 (0.1 pounds lost - 16.1 pounds to go)
Goal weight: 164
Body fat: 41.8% (0.1% lost - 11.8% to go)
Goal body fat: 30%
BMI: 27.4 (2.5 to go)
Goal BMI: 24.9

Food:
  • 2 weetabix, granola, cornflakes, whole milk
  • orange juice and cod liver oil tablet
  • 2 cups of tea and milk; 1 cup of coffee and milk
  • mandarin and digestive biscuit
  • salad of corned beef, avocado, cucumber, spinach, cheese, coleslaw and beetroot
  • salt and vinegar crisps
  • 1 milky way chocolate, 1 mars bar choc, 1 jelly
  • strawberry yoghurt
  • cheeseburger and chips with garlic dip
  • night time tea
Exercise:
  • 50 laps pool
Cigarettes: 8

3 Good Things:
- SG got a call today about a potential interview for a really cool job. It's more money and a lot more interesting than the last one, I really hope he gets it.
- Work colleague and I seem to be back on track. The ice is melting.
- Had a cosy evening by the fire with Mum and Dad.

Anything else?:
I say that work colleague and I are back on track, but I don't know if that is really true. It's just such a weird relationship. He used to be all about me, then it seemed like he hated me for a while, then we were getting along better again before we had the fight, and now we're in this weird no man's land. I'm trying to just forget about him and get on with my day, but I guess he was a huge reason why I liked working in the place I'm in, and now I don't know anymore. I'm also kind of confused because I told him I was having issues with one of the other girls in the office last summer, and since then, she's made a huge beeline for him and they have become good friends, and it bugs the shit out of me. Anyway, I'm not wasting any more time on this - I guess I just have to accept that things have changed. If I am not happy with the way things are now, I can go find another job. I am not tied to the place.
 
Fingers crossed for SG's job interview.
Your work colleague sounds like he enjoys a bit of a flirtation and is just a little bit dangerous. Maybe that's too strong a word but the dynamics of work relationships are fraught with danger. You spend so much time with them. Protect your feelings, Em. It sounds like work guy might like to play games with people's feelings & I don't think you need that in your life.
I think the day will come that you do just wake up & give up smoking. I think you are stronger than you think.
 
I agree with @Cate - WG sounds like a very deliberate game-player - all very amusing for him, vile and stressful for you. Honestly, I'd start to think about the possibility of looking for another job. Only the possibility, but WG has been a spoiler for you for a while now.

Thank heavens for a quiet and cosy evening at home! All the best for SG's interview - and you're only a tiny bit up, so here's to seeing you down under 180 really soon! :)
 
Hi Em I am enjoying reading your diary. It reminds me a bit of Bridget Jones diary which I loved. Hope you end up with a nice guy at the end of it .

I agree with Cate someday you won't want to smoke anymore , it does happen. Have you thought about switching to e cig. I see a few at work did that although I know nothing about it.

Good luck to SG and the interview. Good things happen to those who wait. Glad work is ok. I'm a bit the same as you just getting on with it. Enjoy the weekend
 
Agreed with Cate on Work Guy and best of luck to Spanish Guy! It feels like you´re back on track, which is always nice.
 
- I hope so Cate. I didn't smoke at all today.
- Thanks Amy. I'll see how this week goes.
- Thanks Petal. I think I enjoyed that book a bit too much. I certainly never wanted to turn into her, haha. If I end up with a Colin Firth-type at the end, it will all be worth it I'm sure. :D
- Thanks LaMa, I feel it too.

DAY 4 - SATURDAY 4TH JANUARY 2020 - THE CELEBRATIONS TIN STRIKES AGAIN

Weight: 179.9 (0.3 pounds lost - 15.9 pounds to go)
Goal weight: 164
Body fat: 41.9% (0% lost - 11.9% to go)
Goal body fat: 30%
BMI: 27.4 (2.5 to go)
Goal BMI: 24.9

Food:
  • orange juice and cod liver oil tablet
  • porridge, blueberries, flaxseed, milk
  • slice brown bread with butter and raspberry jam
  • 2 instant coffees and milk
  • 2 cream crackers with butter and cheese
  • cappuccino and 2 twilight mints
  • vegetable soup and 2 slices brown soda bread with butter
  • americano and milk
  • sparkling water
  • 1 mulled cider; 2 pale ales; 1 lager
  • approx. 2 - 3 gin and tonics
  • 3 cinnamon bites; 1 chocolate Jameson sweet
Exercise:
  • Run 12:20
Cigarettes: 14

3 Good Things:
- Had a nice evening out with SG.
- We go to this bar a good bit that is quite small and has a few regulars. The barman there is lovely and there is another woman who is in there every time we go in. Anyway, she started passing out loads of sweets to everyone in the bar and we had a laugh over it. It was fun. More sweets though! Will Christmas season ever be over?!
- Got my hair done and it looked lovely for at least a couple of hours, haha.

Anything else?:
I bought a really cute hat and mittens for my friend's baby and arranged to meet her next weekend.


DAY 5 - SUNDAY 5TH JANUARY 2020 - I'M SO TIRED...
Food:

  • can of coke
  • iced doughnut with jam filling
  • chicken and mushroom curry with white rice, chips and naan bread
  • can of coke
  • cup of tea and milk; 2 cream biscuits
  • tea and milk
  • decaf coffee and milk
  • apple and blackberry crumble with viennetta and cream
Exercise:
  • 50 laps swimming pool
Cigarettes: 0

3 Good Things:
- Had nice morning with SG.
- Enjoyed pottering around town for a bit.
- Happy to be home in the comfort of my own house once more.

Anything else?:
Not really. I am shattered tired, so will probably go to bed early as I have a really busy day tomorrow. Hoping work isn't too painful.
 
It's nice that you are spending some quality time with SG & it sounds like overall you are having fun. I hope work isn't too painful too!
 
What a pleasant-sounding weekend! I'm with Petal - it sounds a bit Bridget Jones - especially
Cigarettes: 0
for which, cheers! :hurray:
I loved the sound of the sociability of the bar with a regular handing out sweets, too - and Christmas in some calendars does officially run till today, Epiphany, so I guess you don't have to feel too fretty about the sweets!
 
- Thanks Cate. Work was awful, but generally when that happens it's followed by a better day.
- Thanks Rob, I'm up and down - I was mostly unhappy today.
- Thanks LaMa.
- I did not enjoy one bit of it Petal! but at least Monday is over.
- Thanks Amy, I'm trying to stop bullying myself.

DAY 6 - MONDAY 6TH JANUARY 2020 - A SERIOUS CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Weight: 180.3 (0 pounds lost - 16.3 pounds to go)
Goal weight: 164
Body fat: 41.8% (0.1% lost - 11.8% to go)
Goal body fat: 30%
BMI: 27.4 (2.5 to go)
Goal BMI: 24.9

Food:
  • orange juice and cod liver oil tablet
  • lemon and ginger tea; black coffee
  • banana; apple; raspberry yoghurt; cholesterol yoghurt drink
  • 1 slice brown bread with laughing cow cheese; salad of tuna, cheese, cherry tomatoes, rocket, courgette, cucumber, yellow pepper, avocado
  • tea and milk; wispa bar
  • 1 jelly; 1 milky way choc; 2 mars bar chocs
  • coffee and milk
  • 9'' Hawaiian pizza; sparkling water
Exercise:
  • 50 laps pool
Cigarettes: 10

3 Good Things:
- Hosted the drama class tonight and really enjoyed it.
- I collected my passport on time for my trip next week.
- I enjoyed my evening in town after work.

Anything else?:
I was in very bad form today in work. It was awful. I just hated being there. I'm seriously thinking I have reached the end of the road in there. I also think SG and I might be finished. There's a lot of red flags - I don't really think I like him that much. It was meant to just be a casual thing anyway. I guess I enjoy having someone to meet up with at the weekend, and there are some things I like about him, but other things I just think are not cool. If I listed them all, you would probably tell me run, haha. Anyway, day was a bit of a downer, but I said no to wine with my dinner and even though I felt like buying a bottle after the class to drown my sorrows in, I didn't. So I guess I feel good about that, even though I am still very upset about work, and a little bit upset about some things SG said. Hmm. I don't want to keep going over things in my head like this, I don't know how I can stop this broken record of crap. It is not helping me at all.
 
:( Very sorry about your bad day at work. That was smart, not to try the wine to drown your sorrows - sorrows are a bit like the Mogwai (in the movie "Gremlins") - when you get them wet, they can turn into nasty little gremlins! ;)

Good for you, not getting bogged down in a relationship (I mean SG) which was only ever going to be casual in the first place. Great, about the drama class! :D
 
Hmm. I don't want to keep going over things in my head like this, I don't know how I can stop this broken
Something that's helped me in the past is to grab pen and paper and write down whatever thoughts come up, no matter how weird or messy. At first they'd be so jumbled and fast I couldn't really keep up and would write mostly half-sentences or single words but after a few minutes a single line of thought would usually crystallize out and even that would just stop after a while. Might be worth a try if you haven't already.
 
Email it sounds like you know what to do regarding SG . If your gut says run it’s telling you something. Sorry work is so crap .
 
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