Emily on a Mission

E

EmilyB

New member
Hi there. My name is Emily. Well, not really. But I want a place to be able to share my thoughts about myself and my body in relative anonymity. That's the great thing about these early days of the Internet. You don't have to check in if you don't want to. I feel like in the future, it will become more and more difficult to do that. But anyway, that's a topic for another day.

So, anyway, you dear reader will know me as Emily. I am here because I find the process of dieting and denial unbelievably boring, so I will need a place to unleash and entertain myself. And hopefully entertain you too.

Now, I'm sure you will say that getting fit and healthy should be a lifestyle change and words like "diet" and "denial" shouldn't come into it. But I know from a lifetime of experience that the first few weeks of anything that requires discipline and motivation and energy are not always fun, they are pretty rotten, but you just have to keep going till it's actually ingrained in you that this is how you live now and this is how you want to live now.

My mission is simple. I want to get really fit and really lean. I want to have a body like Cindy Crawford in that Pepsi commercial. I want to be able to wear nice clothes without worrying about my boobs/belly. Yes, these are all selfish aesthetic reasons. I don't care. I want to know what it's like to have my dream body. And when I get there, I might decide feck it, it's not all it's cracked up to be, I'd prefer more wine and chocolate in my life, and that's fine. But I want to find that out for myself.

My body at the moment is not in bad nick, so it's not like starting at zero. I have a good base fitness level, can easily run 30-40 min, go to the gym a few times a week, that kind of thing. My BMI is in the healthy range but on the high side. But I have a lot of belly fat, and I eat too much sugar and drink too much alcohol to get out of this body phase. So I'm going to have to step it up a gear.

Today I have a woolly head from too much Friday Night Vino, an institution I will have to learn to live without. Any suggestions for healthy replacements? So my mission for today is simple: buy some fresh fish and veg from the market and get an early night. The real mission begins tomorrow.

Till then comrades,
Adieu.
 
Welcome to the forum "Emily". I think you seem to have a set plan & by the sounds of it are determined to stick with it. That's the answer. I love my wine & try & try to give it up. I did for 6 months when I first lost weight, but I know that I don't really want to anymore, so it's moderation for me. I can do that. Sparkling mineral water with ice & fresh lemon is nice, but I drink diet soft drink when I'm out occasionally. I know it is really bad for you. There are so few healthy alternatives when you're out at a pub or club. I tried guessing what country you live in but feck, comrades & adieu threw me out a little. I'm guessing the UK. I am such a curious creature. You don't have to tell. It will be fun to keep guessing anyway.(unless you deliberately confuse me :blush5:) .
Cheers & a great big welcome to the WLF forum, Cate.
 
Nice try Carl! I know it's you.

Just Kidding! Welcome to the forum Emily! I'm stoked to have another runner and kudos on trying to be the healthiest you. I'm not really named Quercus either BTW. I will forever keep my real name a secret!

Adieu,

Jeff
 
So, I didn't exactly wake up this morning fresh and enthusiastic about the day ahead. I ended up going boozing with friends last night, which was really nice but has sapped me of weekend energy once again.

The plan for the day is to get food somewhere, possibly go to the shopping centre to get the security tag taken off a shirt I bought, put on a wash and prepare tomorrow's lunch and have a healthy dinner myself. I have some whiting in the fridge that I bought at the market yesterday. Going to bed at 9pm tonight so that I can get up for spinning in the morning.

I am feeling a bit down about life today but I know it's because I was drinking yesterday. Will have a shower now and try to enjoy what's left of the day.
 
I can relate to the attempting to diet but then boozing instead. Weekend temptations.

Personally, I've decided that simply avoiding going out for drinks is insufficient. I'll eventually get bored and join them. I'm a social animal. Can't just leave a void. Instead, I need to fill my Friday and Saturday nights with other social booze-free activities. Perhaps that'll work for you too?
 
Today started out great but has slowly gone out of control foodwise. I managed to drag my ass out of bed for spinning this morning, worked really hard in the class and had a yummy omelette after, felt great heading into work.

Decided to come home at lunchtime because I was stressing about a work-related issue, ate half my healthy fish and quinoa salad, was saving the rest for dinner (I'd made a massive portion).

Went back to work, sorted out stress-related issue, but instead of feeling good about it, decided to celebrate by eating a 100g bag of crisps and a 100g bar of orange chocolate in the car. I used to do this kind of shit all the time, but I really had gotten a lot better. I still have a mega slip up like this from time to time.

Came home and had two slices of toast with butter and a cup of tea. Feeling too full and annoyed at myself. Fuck!
 
Hey Emily,

Don`t be too hard on yourself! You sound a lot like me (decent starting place). Try switching to dark chocolate for those cravings
 
Hi Emily. If it helps you to feel better about yourself I did something similar last night. I hadn't for ages & I felt really down about it. I felt stressed & started eating a Mars bar, it was half melted & disgusting & I threw it out but then had a dark chocolate coated muesli bar. I was not hungry in the slightest. It was stuffing my face. It sooo does not take any stress away.
We are only human. We need to treat our bodies with respect & love. We can do this xo Cate
 
Today was a mixed bag, like most days I guess. My stomach has been sick all day from the all the crap I ate yesterday. My body just does not want it anymore!

I finished up the day with a BLT - not the burger thankfully, but a Bums, Legs and Tums class. I felt like a warrior afterwards. My stomach is still in bits but the rest of me feels stretched out and relaxed. Going to have a mint tea now before bed and finish preparing my lunch.

Aiming to get up in the morning for a class, I'm a little bit tired but want to get my routine back, and hopefully the food will follow suit.
 
EmilyB said:
Hi there. My name is Emily. Well, not really. But I want a place to be able to share my thoughts about myself and my body in relative anonymity. That's the great thing about these early days of the Internet. You don't have to check in if you don't want to. I feel like in the future, it will become more and more difficult to do that. But anyway, that's a topic for another day.

So, anyway, you dear reader will know me as Emily. I am here because I find the process of dieting and denial unbelievably boring, so I will need a place to unleash and entertain myself. And hopefully entertain you too.

Now, I'm sure you will say that getting fit and healthy should be a lifestyle change and words like "diet" and "denial" shouldn't come into it. But I know from a lifetime of experience that the first few weeks of anything that requires discipline and motivation and energy are not always fun, they are pretty rotten, but you just have to keep going till it's actually ingrained in you that this is how you live now and this is how you want to live now.

My mission is simple. I want to get really fit and really lean. I want to have a body like Cindy Crawford in that Pepsi commercial. I want to be able to wear nice clothes without worrying about my boobs/belly. Yes, these are all selfish aesthetic reasons. I don't care. I want to know what it's like to have my dream body. And when I get there, I might decide feck it, it's not all it's cracked up to be, I'd prefer more wine and chocolate in my life, and that's fine. But I want to find that out for myself.

My body at the moment is not in bad nick, so it's not like starting at zero. I have a good base fitness level, can easily run 30-40 min, go to the gym a few times a week, that kind of thing. My BMI is in the healthy range but on the high side. But I have a lot of belly fat, and I eat too much sugar and drink too much alcohol to get out of this body phase. So I'm going to have to step it up a gear.

Today I have a woolly head from too much Friday Night Vino, an institution I will have to learn to live without. Any suggestions for healthy replacements? So my mission for today is simple: buy some fresh fish and veg from the market and get an early night. The real mission begins tomorrow.

Till then comrades,
Adieu.
Click to expand...

Welcome to the forum, Emily. I will start off by saying that I am a dude. I do not know what it's like to have the desire to have nice looking boobs when I wear nice clothes. However, I HAVE boobs which I do not want. If you're game, I propose a trade. You can have my man-boobs for the modest price of a couple of a baseball cards. If you don't have baseball cards, I will take Pizza Hut coupons...even if they are expired.

Seriously though, welcome to the forum. You came to the right place.

Quercus said:
Nice try Carl! I know it's you.

Just Kidding! Welcome to the forum Emily! I'm stoked to have another runner and kudos on trying to be the healthiest you. I'm not really named Quercus either BTW. I will forever keep my real name a secret!

Adieu,

Jeff
Click to expand...

I always assumed your real name was Sir Broderick Bartholomew James (which also doubles as your 1980's WWF wrestling name - I imagined you wore a robe and a crown, perhaps a sceptre - red, white and blue tights of course, with the flag of England on your all white boots).
 
The mission took a turn today when I ended up in a yoga class that went on for nearly 2 hours. The teacher was a yoga maniac! Every muscle in my body is aching. I can only imagine what the next 2 days will be like. Mon Dieu!

So happy it's Thursday tomorrow. I am tired. I'm drinking some mint tea and listening to some chill out music now before bed. (David Bowie I Love You) Since I Was Six by The Brian Jonestown Massacre. Tune.

Thanks for all the comments guys. Yes, good boobs in nice clothes are an absolute must. Not man boobs though. ;)
 
I am so angry today! I thought yoga was meant to make you feel good but I feel like absolute shit. Every muscle in my body is screaming, therefore, I want to scream.

I had a shit day at work and I'm in one of those moods where there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's actually a cave. With a boulder over the entrance.

I signed up to do 6 weeks of classes with a personal trainer starting next week and I'm thinking of cancelling it. I know what I have to do, I know what I should be eating, so what the hell is the point? I just don't know how I have lived so long in this state of inertia where I can't seem to move forward. :(
 
Oh Emily, my 1st ever yoga classes years ago were just wonderful, but my last ones were absolutely awful. Yoga can vary so much, but I think it should be relaxing & meditative & make you more flexible. There are so many different variations. I would love to be going to see a personal trainer. You may just love it. Give it a crack honey, xo Cate
 
The point is to be healthy. I'd give the personal trainer a try, you don't know until you try. I've ached from mixed level yoga classes. Maybe you can try a beginner's class?
 
Well, the anger has dissipated. Thank God. Had a really great day today, had good times with my lovely housemates and a fun workday. Things are looking up!

Food wasn't so good today, not loads of exercise done either but I feel like I might be turning a corner.

I did cancel the personal trainer for now, just have enough tools at hand at the moment that I just need to pick up. I feel like a new routine might be too stressful and the idea is to get to a place where I am relaxed and comfortable with my place in the world. I am so resistant to even the smallest criticism or stressor and that is why I eat. I need to just calm the fuck down.

Having a relaxing day tomorrow and back for gym time on Sunday. Planning a road race with my dad for next weekend.
 
:seeya:Heya

I've just read thru your diary and you are a great read. Just wanted to wish you well in your aim to achieve that perfect body. I too want that but I look like a baby elephant and am 42 so there is no hope left for me :smilielol5:but I can dream and follow you while you actually get it done. Xoxo
 
Hi Kate, thanks for the comment. I think there's hope for us all.

Today has been spent mooching around the house, reading up about nutrition and watching some YouTube clips of food bloggers such as Tess Ward and Ella Woodward. I had some porridge for breakfast and 2 slices of toast with butter and marmalade. Not sure what to do about dinner. I think I'll make some chilli actually. I haven't done that in a while.

Think I going to take a walk into town now, maybe go to the library or buy some clothes. Not sure, feeling remarkably lazy today.

Giving my body a break from exercise today as mentioned. I did something every day this week which is good going. Diet was mostly appalling though.

Anyway, that's all for now.
 
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