Donia's Diary...Help!

donia1

New member
Well, here I am...starting my weight loss diary with what I hope will be the last time I ever try to lose weight because I NEED to succeed this time. I've been a big girl all of my life and it's time to stop. I'm 35 and although I'm freakishly healthy for someone of my weight, I know that may not last forever. I'm going to start with some basic stuff and then get more in to my past and what led up to me weighing 331 pounds.

-- How much weight do you want to lose?~~166 pounds

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?~~I don't have a timeframe. It seems like so much to lose that I haven't even figured that out. Should I?

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?~~I've been counting calories and I want to start exercising regularly. It's quite a challenge.

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?~~I would love support from anyone, really. It would be nice to have support from people who are or have been where I am...with over 100 lbs to lose. I'll take love from anyone, though! :hug2:

-- How realistic is your goal?~~I think it's very realistic.

-- When will you start?~~I started in February, 2007. I lost 20lbs, but have been having a hard time with my food and exercise and I'm back up by about 5lbs which is breaking my heart.

Ok...I'll start from the logical place...the beginning. I don't remember a time when I wasn't fat. I am a Texas girl raised on Southern food. We're talking fried chicken, chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, pork chops...you get the picture. The homemade biscuits had so much butter on them that they dripped and the veggies were mostly over cooked and swimming in butter as well. I started maturing VERY early...in a bra by 9 years old and I started my period just before my 11th birthday. I was also as tall then as I am now...5'3". I remember being 10 years old and weighing 120 pounds. Of course, I thought I was hugely fat, and so did everyone else, but looking back, I was really just fine if you take into account that I was in a B cup and had my period. I was becoming a woman, but because who the hell becomes a woman at 10 years old, it wasn't looked upon like that. By the time I was 12, I was in a D cup bra and weighed about 160. I just kept eating the way I always had, but because of being so much bigger (heavier) than everyone else, I hated to exercise. (I still do, actually) By the time I was 14, I weighed almost 200 lbs and I went to fat camp for 2 months. I lost almost 40 lbs that Summer, but who could keep that off when they went home? I went from eating controlled meals and exercising 4 or 5 hours a day right back to the chicken fried steaks and MTV. By the time I graduated from high school, I weighed 200 lbs again. I got married 6 months after graduation to my high school sweetheart. Two weeks before our first anniversary, I found out I was pregnant...with twins. I was almost 20 and scared to death. I had the boys and actually lost all my baby weight so I was down to about 220 a few weeks after they were born. I had another set of twins 2 years later. I gained quite a bit of weight and this time it didn't come off. I was up to about 250 this time. My marriage went way down hill and I went through a period of depression. For quite a few years, I didn't really care about how fat I was...it was a time of survival and not much else. (Not because he was violent, but because I didn't really want to live) We finally separated, but we still lived together as room mates for 3 years which was soooo stressful and I really didn't have the room to watch my weight at that time in my life. I met my current husband and got a divorce to marry again 29 days later. My husband is average weight and has been very supportive while not pressuring me to lose the weight. I started by losing about 20 lbs when I first moved in with him. We were living with his aunt (he's a Canadian immigrant and had to wait for permission to work in this country) and she lives in the country with an in-ground pool. I was swimming and walking, and lost that weight without really trying. We finally got our own place and I started cooking again. I love to cook and fancy myself as a minor foodie so it's been hard. I gained most of my weight back. I finally decided after seeing what my ex-husband has been going through with weight-related illness that I don't want to end up like him. The boys live with him, but I'm wondering if they'll be able to stay because of how severe his health problems are. He's not doing much to help himself, and if nothing else, I want to live for my kids. I want them to see that one of us is willing to do what it takes so that they won't be left with neither of us. The boys are 13 and 15 now and 3 out of the 4 of them have weight issues, too. I would love to help them change now instead of waiting until they're 35 like I did.

If you read all of that, thank you! Here's a link to my diet and exercise diary. Feel free to look it over and make suggestions. I don't mind constructive criticism at all...I'm pretty thick skinned.

Donia's Food, Diet, and Fitness Diary - TheDailyPlate.com

ETA~~Link for my 331 pound before shot http://weight-loss.fitness.com/before-after-between/12107-my-first-post.html
 
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Aww you can do it! This place is wonderful to meet people who can support you & keep you on track.

Seems like you have some incredible motivations in those boys -two sets of twin boys!!!?! Wow now that is impressive! :)

Good luck. I can't wait to see the progress.
 
oh & I TOTALLY feel your pain in trying to lose weight after growing up on the delicious southern cooking... just something about biscuits & everything else is just soooo hard to give up!
 
I NEED to succeed this time.

Can we mentally change this to "I WILL succeed this time" ??

I see two things I like a lot, you're skilled in the kitchen and you don't document the bulk of your weight gain on fast food.

So really learning new, healthier recipes should be a smooth transition and avoiding fast food isn't going to be a painful event like some have to go through (me being one of them :))

Freakishly healthy ?? at 331 ?? I'm not sure that's possible, is it ?? but I'll take this as good sign that once your knee heals up you can withstand some physical activity without 'health-related' problems.

Be patient and consistent and you can do this. A level of determination you have never untapped is now your biggest challenge. Master this and you'll master your weight :)
 
Can we mentally change this to "I WILL succeed this time" ??

I see two things I like a lot, you're skilled in the kitchen and you don't document the bulk of your weight gain on fast food.

So really learning new, healthier recipes should be a smooth transition and avoiding fast food isn't going to be a painful event like some have to go through (me being one of them :))

Freakishly healthy ?? at 331 ?? I'm not sure that's possible, is it ?? but I'll take this as good sign that once your knee heals up you can withstand some physical activity without 'health-related' problems.

Be patient and consistent and you can do this. A level of determination you have never untapped is now your biggest challenge. Master this and you'll master your weight :)


I know the healthy part doesn't make much sense...I was quite surprised, myself. I had a full check-up including blood work before I started in Feb. and everything was within normal ranges. Now, that's not saying that there isn't tons of stress on my joints because of the weight, but all of my levels were normal. No diabetes, no high cholesterol, no PCOS (which was what they were testing me for in the first place), no thyroid problems....nothing.
 
Thanks to MoonGoddess for your post in my diary! The very first one! That Southern food is HARD to give up!

Just to post a little more info about me, I have fibroids and will be going through a hysterectomy some time this Summer. I'm looking forward to having my problems taken care of, but I am not looking forward to the 4 week recovery with no exercise and having to depend on other people to feed me. I am curious about how it's going to effect my weight loss. Some poeple say it makes it easier to lose weight and some say it will make it harder.

About today...I'm not feeling very motivated. I'm ok with my food, but I don't feel like DOING anything. I just want to sit and veg out. I don't really know why.
 
Well, I managed to get some housework in today, but that's about it. I ATE today...but I managed to stay within my calories for the most part. Another day down...
 
I managed to stay within my calories for the most part. Another day down...

Sounds like a sticker on your progress chart! :)

Hey every lil bit helps. Can you do it two days in a row?

I know I walked today, but as for calories.. kinda blew it.

Congrats on staying within your range. It will all add up before you know it.
 
I'm trying, MoonGoddess, I'm trying! I'm going to attempt to do 15 or 20 minutes of DDR tonight for the first time since I twisted my knee...wish me luck, everyone!

I finally (after waiting over 3 weeks) got the date for my hysterectomy. It's on June 15th! I can't believe it's so soon. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I want it done and over with, but on the other hand, it's very scary and I have to take 4 weeks off of work with no pay. That's going to be very hard, too. Is there anyone out there who has had experience with this? I'm also really curious about how my body is going to act afterwards as far as weight loss is concerned.
 
Oh man... well at least you have a date. Just hope you have lots of support ready to pamper you during the recovery time. I can't imagine & have no history of anyone I know of going through it, but from what I understand its a pretty common procedure for the doctors anyway, so hopefully there will be nothing abnormal about it & you will be better than ever afterward.

I had a tumor removed from my brainstem when I was in high school & they only made me wait about a week before determining they wanted that thing out & when the surgery was. Not sure which was worse, the tumor or the anticipation & worry before hand. Just remember this is something that is going to help you in the long run & HEY didn't you have twins TWICE? I'm sure that was scary... hopefully this will be a lot less, no midnight feedings or diaper poop! :)

Good luck & I hope you get a chance to relax now & then.
 
Oh man... well at least you have a date. Just hope you have lots of support ready to pamper you during the recovery time. I can't imagine & have no history of anyone I know of going through it, but from what I understand its a pretty common procedure for the doctors anyway, so hopefully there will be nothing abnormal about it & you will be better than ever afterward.

I had a tumor removed from my brainstem when I was in high school & they only made me wait about a week before determining they wanted that thing out & when the surgery was. Not sure which was worse, the tumor or the anticipation & worry before hand. Just remember this is something that is going to help you in the long run & HEY didn't you have twins TWICE? I'm sure that was scary... hopefully this will be a lot less, no midnight feedings or diaper poop! :)

Good luck & I hope you get a chance to relax now & then.


I actually just got off of the phone with my mom and she's going to take a few days off of work so she can come and help. My husband is going to be able to be with me for about 10 days, as well, so thankfully, I do have help! I DID have twins twice! The first ones were by ceserean, too so I did go through recovery dealing with the midnight feedings and poopy diapers! That's pretty much what my mom said...that I got through it while taking care of 2 babies and at least this time, all I have to do is get better. I'm sure I'll feel better afterwards, too. No more pain every day and other abnormal issues that I deal with every month.
 
WoooHooo! I just did 20 minutes on my DDR for the first time since I hurt my knee. It wasn't too bad, so I think I'm going to try to do 20 minutes a day for a while and then build up to an hour. DDR is so much fun! :jump:
 
Just posting because I did 20 minutes on the DDR again. I'm really trying to do it EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's hard for me to do that. I don't think I've exercised for more than 2 or 3 days in a row since I was 14 and at fat camp! Maybe I'll spice it up a little and DDR naked for my husband on his days off!!!:newangel:
 
Good luck with doing the DDR everyday!

Just had to laugh at your plan for the nudypatootieDDR... that could lead to more exercise, hopefully more than 20 minutes! :rotflmao:
 
:D
DDR is teh evil! But really, it is the perfect spectator sport for lazy fellas like me; I love watching people really go for it.

I did some peeking into your other diary, etc, and I have to say this: You have a relatively realistic daily calorie goal (I try to eat 2000 calories a day, sometimes less) but I noticed you are mostly focused on pounds. Have you considered looking for a particular dress size you want to wear? If you mentioned it already, then I just missed it.
My reason for asking is this: When I first started eating healthier, I noticed some dramatic loss from my waist, but no real weight loss. It bothered me quite a bit, and I now try to track both size and weight (at least somewhat) to keep an idea of how I am doing. My loss is slow, but definitely happening, and it is pretty easy to stay on 2000 calories (most of the time).
I just decided early on that I wanted to get to a particular size instead of a particular weight, because I have no idea what weight I want to be. It's kinda funny, but I would rather be a healthy, strong 250 lbs, than an out-of-shape 200. In either case, I still have a long way to go, but learning why I set my goals instead of just randomly setting them made a big difference for me.

Keep doing the good stuff, and remember; a single off-plan meal doesn't "ruin" a day, it just means you need to get back on plan for the next meal. :D
That tidbit of advice really helped me a lot! Heck, it still does.
 
Thanks for the encouragement! I'm pretty new here, too. I'm trying to keep it going every day! DDR is Dance, Dance Revolution. A video game where you have a dance pad and you dance to the game. It's sooo much fun and a great way to get some exercise in!
 
Just wanted to add that although I went over my calories yesterday (pizza buffet), I did exercise again. Three days running! Yay, me!!
 
Well, 4 days in a row....I'm determined to keep exercising EVERY SINGLE DAY! Oh, and I DID DDR in my bathing suit for the hubby....lol.

ETA~~I have more of these pics in my before picture thread, but I'm posting one here for motivation. Why on earth would he even WANT to watch me DDR? YUCK!!!!

Forget it...it won't let me put a picture here for some reason. I'll link to here again....

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/before-after-between/12107-my-first-post.html
 
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