Diary: Curvie Girlie: A Yo-Yo's Reformation

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Why hellooooooooooooo.... hotness. So that dress is a size 9? Honestly, you look so much smaller.... as always, wishing you well, girly.... :hug2: Thank you for sharing your beautiful pix.

-Sheryl
 
Hi Valerie, ok I just made it through your diary, it was my own personal Mount Madonna, and just as rewarding. I had actual chills while reading some of your outpourings. You're utterly fascinating and completely lovely, thank you for sharing with everyone, and I wish you strength in body AND soul. You will do the right thing regarding your boyfriend, you are strong enough :hug2:
 
"PICTURE PERFECT" as always!! Your just so beautiful in and out. Your local friend and family are truly lucky to have you!!

:eek: Aww thank you Kim! I feel so loved and it's difficult for me to reamin hmble when you pump up my vanity like that! ;) Thanks for all the support, V.B.F. :hug2:

Damn girl - you are sooo pretty!!! Makes me wanna be a man - ha ha ha!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek: Awwww thank you Cerella! We'd make quite a pair, I tell ya! LOL!!! Looking forward to your road trip!

Gorgeous! Gorgeous! Gorgeous! (it wouldn't let me do a one word post)

Thank you!! I like these pics myself, I actually let my hair down right before so it would look nice, so it's a set up, actually. I'm pleased at how my arms look.


Pour me a Glass!

Oh yes, quite, I am very gracious when in character, hee hee!

Why hellooooooooooooo.... hotness. So that dress is a size 9? Honestly, you look so much smaller.... as always, wishing you well, girly.... Thank you for sharing your beautiful pix.

-Sheryl

Welcome!!! I really think the dress is in juniors size ;) Thanks for the support and advice! :hug2:

Hi Valerie, ok I just made it through your diary, it was my own personal Mount Madonna, and just as rewarding.

Wow. You are possibly one of the sweetest persons ALIVE, I am totally going to come to Florida after New York after San Diego after...yada yada. I'm thrilled at your vacation, and the fact you made it into the 140s--whoo hoo, you're fabulous!!! "Own personal Mt Madonna"--LOL!!!

I agree your charisma pours out in your words. Beautiful photos, and yes I'll have a glass, I love good wine.

Thank you Kelly!!! I'm just keeping it real!! LOL!!! Ah the wine was excellent..drank to my heart's content :)
 
Thanks for all the compliments!

I went to the BF's house last night. Sigh. Friday he was sweet and tender and told me what I wanted to hear--last night he told me all I didn't want to hear, but I'm glad he's being honest. In a nutshell:

He loves me and still wants to make it work

But he doesn't miss me that much this week

He's enjoying his freedom back and realized he sacrificed a lot more than he wanted to keep the peace when we lived together.

I am a pain in his ass, and part of him wishes I'd just drive him over the edge (like cheat on him or something) so it could be over.

But he realizes we both need more time to figure out where we're going.

He wept a bit because he's mad that he's so confused and sees no definite outcome.


I was hurt, but also glad he got it out there and was honest. And honestly, I understand and can't say I blame him. Girlfriends ARE a pain in the ass!

Well, he IS "just a man" and we had sex, fun sex :) later, after the talk.

Oh back to work, more later!
 
Update: Couldn't find a scale this morning. Going to San Jose to eat dinner with Lucas, and chat--he's a wonderful friend.

Ate a small chocolate bar, a cranberry-orange muffin, half another muffin a co-worker brought in, and a salmon-avo-tomato-mustard-habenero-artichoke sandwhich I made last night (was my dinner last night, too).

I have been saving muchp dinero because I've been treated to dinners by a lot of wonderful people, and eating samdwiches for nearly every meal in the downtime. I'm not trying to USE people, it's just with the birthday and visiting and helping with the tasting...it happened.

Emotional update: Despite the pain from last night, I feel good! I'm determined to be the best person I can be, and treat everyone right--and go out of my way for people, and take care of myself. I had been slacking in that department by worrying about the relationship and hanging on the BF for affection--NO MORE!!

Execise: I weight trained Monday and yesterday, and Tuesday was Mt Madonna--Sunday I had ran in the woods. I'm taking today off to see Lucas this evening (I always pick him up at the train station in SJ, he works in SF). I want to train and sign up for the half marathon--I think I will very soon! My body is looking better after the weights. The BF, despite his distancing, was entranced by my body nonetheless. It was actually of very little comfort, but at least I didn't feel unattractive on TOP of dejected. HA HA! Just kidding folks, I'm glad we're both letting go a little :) I think he's going through a short phase now--I tried to talk about something last night and he told me to shut and and kiss him. Doesn't seem very nice looking back, but at the time it was appropriate. Tenderness will ensue.

Either way, I'm a hopeless romantic--I feel that if I just be myself, and the best possible me, someone/something will bless me and my own personal "Marlene" (see Tom) will sweep me off my feet :eek:
 
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Hi Valerie. Tough times with the bf, I guess. Sorry about that. Saaaaayyyyy. . . my son isn't married. He's 27, and a top fashion designer in SF. Hmmmmm. . . :D
 
That would be nice! :D

Yesterday I ate too much, after dinner (salmon, rice, green beans, ugh I don't like green beans, which is very weird because everyone else likes them) I was STUFFED.

Once again, Lucas was my rock, he is so intelligent, wise, articulate, caring, understanding, moral, civil, easy going.....the list goes on. We were in San Jose and went wine tasting at a small shop, where he and I bought a few bottles to take home. We ate at a nice restaurant downtown San Jose and I TRIED to pay the bill but he wouldn't let me. We went to his house and chatted over the hyper Pomeranian dog that is his mother's until she came home. We chatted with her a while but by then it was 11pm, and he made me drive to a gas station where he filled up my tank. Wow. What a friend.

But I ate too much and I didn't exercise, not to mention I'm up to 147.7 lbs :( I know that if I eat lightly it will go down, but I'm going to put my ticker back anyway to show the relapse, although it will be back to 146, little lie ;).

I woke up sad and in a panic, like I always do in the mornings, and had to tell myself in the shower not to worry. The BF is getting over me and having a good time in his life, while I think about him almost every moment of every day, and sometimes I feel serene about letting him go (although nothing is official), other times my heart is breaking. ALso I'm humiliated because I never felt this way about a man. I aways was done with them, I always did the dumping, etc.

Have I grown SOFT in my age???:confused:

At least right now I have plans to put more effort into training! All I can do is be the best person I can be, and remember to be very nice and considerate to people at all times, to help me through this. I also need to concentrate on my exercise and eating to lose weight, because I feel bloated and chunky right now :rolleyes: If the BF forgets about me, fuck him, there's nothing I can do about that. Too bad I feel so terrible sometimes. Shitty thing is, I'm not sure if I even like him anymore :confused:

Anyway, exercise, eating right, saving money, and I should meditate.
 
Have I grown SOFT in my age???:confused:

At least right now I have plans to put more effort into training! All I can do is be the best person I can be, and remember to be very nice and considerate to people at all times, to help me through this. I also need to concentrate on my exercise and eating to lose weight, because I feel bloated and chunky right now :rolleyes: If the BF forgets about me, fuck him, there's nothing I can do about that. Too bad I feel so terrible sometimes. Shitty thing is, I'm not sure if I even like him anymore :confused:

Anyway, exercise, eating right, saving money, and I should meditate.

Val, that is the question I'm supposed to be asking, not you, LOL! :D

You're right, all you can do is take care of yourself, learn from this, and move on.
 
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