Darth Pooh, Sith Lord of the Honey Pot

Two years ago today I started my lifestyle change (well, technically, the 29th of September I signed up for LA Weightloss, but I didn't start the change until the 2nd) because I needed to do something at the age of 27 (I felt old for being 27)...

So two years later, and a matter of losing about 120 lbs and then regaining 20 (bulk), then losing 10 more brings me to this point...

I think I am still unhappy. Let me clarify... I am very happy about numerous things... I have my health, which is amazing in terms of turn around. I went from being the unhealthiest person I knew to being the healthiest. I completely turned around my depression and years of self loathing into a positive situation... not to mention I found an amazing woman who compliments me better than I could ever imagine.

So, why am I unhappy? I feel that the effort I put into my weight-loss and turn around has been rewarded with a slap in the face from nature. I have a decent build in my arms, chest, legs... then you get into my stomach area. It's irony at it's finest, there are slight silhouettes of abs, but it's complete mush at the same time. Clothes are miracle workers... and when people ask why I am still "dieting" , it's because I am trying to lose the last amount of fat stuck in the skin folds in my abdomen area, but they don't get it. I've been told that I am superfit and well built. I've also been told that I am an idiot for continuning to cut excess weight... I believe I am unhappy because these people I see and hear from on a regular basis don't know my struggle when I am in front of the mirror. I still see a Frericka Bimmel standing in front of me. I am not unhappy in terms of my life... I think I am unhappy in terms of my loneliness.
 
So you truly believe your unhappiness is coming solely from what others don't understand about your efforts?
 
Steve said:
So you truly believe your unhappiness is coming solely from what others don't understand about your efforts?
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Hmmmm, good way to put it in perspective (whether you were trying to or not).

Maybe that post was written out of pure frustration at my own progress; perhaps the fact that people don't "get it" might have compounded my feelings a bit and I confused the two issues.
 
Darth,
I read a lot of your posts because i swear i could be writing the same things about my life. This last post is exactly how i feel at times. I actually asked Steve some advice on this before and he was right on.

Do i have all the answers or am i cured, no. What Steve says is true. You need to do this for you and not care what others think and say. Hate to use cliches but you dont know what it is like until you walk in someone else's shoes. So why would someone that has never been morbildy obese and lost a shit loadof weight know what you are going through. You know what you want to do and need to do to get into the shape YOU want to. You owe nobody an explanation of what you are doing. I hear the same "you arent still losing are you?" or the "you look to skinny" lines all the time. My answers are the same, "I'm done losing weight". Am i really, no. Do they need to know that, abso-f'in-lutely not.

You are a man that has accomplished a lot (like you said) and you know where you want to be. Keep doing what you need to do to get there.

Once again, i have the same feelings and when i question, why keep doing this i look at some old photos and see why.

Matt
 
I know you have serious issues with your last bit of fat on your midsection. My point was, and still is... if you people were more understanding, would you automatically be happy with everything?

If not, those opinions from others is not the root of the problem.

To fix a problem, you need to identify the root, right?

A common problem I find many people have who are at your stage is this: They let the image of their ideal physique be their metric for determining if they are succeeding of failing... happy or frustrated.

Each time they look in the mirror and don't see what would be ideal, they feel as if they're failing.

That's a mental trap that sucks. If you're falling into it, you need to catch yourself.

I have no idea what actually is going through your head. I'm just throwing out some thoughts.
 
because no one sees you nekkid (well except me - and that's cuz i'm a peeping mal :D hubba hubba :D so no one really sees what you see..

Do make sure that what you're seeing is reality... and not wearing 'fat glasses'...

What would it take to make you happy?
 
Steve-
I knwo i used the line about someone that has not lost a shit load of weight has no idea what you are going through but i that was not meant toward you. After i read that i thought it could be read that way.

You offer valuable info on this stuff and i respect that.

Matt
 
We all walk unique paths. Fat or not. One fat man's journey is not another's. Sure, there are similar obstacles. But in my experience, there are more differences than similarities.

In a nutshell, I was not offended. And thanks.
 
usedtobefatmatt said:
Darth,
I read a lot of your posts because i swear i could be writing the same things about my life. This last post is exactly how i feel at times. I actually asked Steve some advice on this before and he was right on.

Do i have all the answers or am i cured, no. What Steve says is true. You need to do this for you and not care what others think and say. Hate to use cliches but you dont know what it is like until you walk in someone else's shoes. So why would someone that has never been morbildy obese and lost a shit loadof weight know what you are going through. You know what you want to do and need to do to get into the shape YOU want to. You owe nobody an explanation of what you are doing. I hear the same "you arent still losing are you?" or the "you look to skinny" lines all the time. My answers are the same, "I'm done losing weight". Am i really, no. Do they need to know that, abso-f'in-lutely not.

You are a man that has accomplished a lot (like you said) and you know where you want to be. Keep doing what you need to do to get there.

Once again, i have the same feelings and when i question, why keep doing this i look at some old photos and see why.

Matt
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And ironically, I've had to reply to people the same way you have replied to me... so, there is a lot of parallel we share. I've had to lie as well ("No, I am not losing any more", but my close friends know that is a lie).

I think my frustration lies in what Steve said, I am falling into a trap that I should be avoiding at all costs... my ideal physique, which might NEVER happen with me due to genetics or skin damage due to my obesity for years.

Steve said:
I know you have serious issues with your last bit of fat on your midsection. My point was, and still is... if you people were more understanding, would you automatically be happy with everything?

If not, those opinions from others is not the root of the problem.

To fix a problem, you need to identify the root, right?

A common problem I find many people have who are at your stage is this: They let the image of their ideal physique be their metric for determining if they are succeeding of failing... happy or frustrated.

Each time they look in the mirror and don't see what would be ideal, they feel as if they're failing.

That's a mental trap that sucks. If you're falling into it, you need to catch yourself.

I have no idea what actually is going through your head. I'm just throwing out some thoughts.
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No, no... that pretty much sums it up perfectly. I am expecting to see something that just isn't going to happen overnight... if at all. This is obviously the most difficult stage I have ever been in right now. You see, I felt comfortable with having to lose 100 lbs, because I knew it could be done (eventually after having lost a bit of weight, I could see it was obtainable). I feel uncomfortable with this part of the journey due to the uncertainty of it all.
 
Why even tell people that you're losig weight - this is a lifestyle change and you're eating healthier -that's really all people have to know... if the by product is more weight loss then great... but why advertise it?

You don't come across as an attention whore type -but there are some people who enjoy the comments - oh you don't need to lose more weight... so they tell people they're dieting - being the good martyr having steamed broccoli when al lothers around them are having real food.... Are you really an anorexic teenage girl in disguise? :D
 
maleficent said:
because no one sees you nekkid (well except me - and that's cuz i'm a peeping mal :D hubba hubba :D so no one really sees what you see..

Do make sure that what you're seeing is reality... and not wearing 'fat glasses'...

What would it take to make you happy?
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You are right... I think it is a bit of both, I might not be wearing fat glasses, but since I still see fat and not the ideal physique in my head, so it seems like I think I am still fat (or it's just easy to say, "I'm fat").

If that even makes any sense.

You know I would say a tummy tuck would make me happy... but, I'd hate to spend the money when the possibility of me losing the additional fat is still possible.
 
maleficent said:
Why even tell people that you're losig weight - this is a lifestyle change and you're eating healthier -that's really all people have to know... if the by product is more weight loss then great... but why advertise it?
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Hmmm, I think it was hard to avoid my weightloss plans being known. And since it was fairly obvious to many I attempted to lose weight, they see I am still losing and ask questions.
 
What's the ideal physique and is it even attainable?

you should never stop working towards a destination... but you want to make sure that destination is realistic...
 
Darth Pooh said:
Hmmm, I think it was hard to avoid my weightloss plans being known. And since it was fairly obvious to many I attempted to lose weight, they see I am still losing and ask questions.
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so you are eating only steamed broccoli while looking longingly at the mac and cheese :D
 
Makes perfect sense. I've shared similar struggles. For instance, I am have extremely small bone structure. I can touch my fingers around my wrists, believe it or not.

My ideal 'vision' of myself has my with really thick arms that are vascular.

Truth is, I'll never have that. My bones aren't going to grow to that extent. And my long limbs limit my muscular growth capabilities.

I can't harp on that though.

And my moral isn't that what you desire is impossible. Far from it. My moral is simply that you can't get caught up basing your success either being ideal or not. That's obvious and you know it. I know it. Everyone understands it. Yet, so many fall into it.

The way I combat it is easy. I solely focus on progress. Not progress toward some ultimate goal. But progress based on where I was a month ago.

Also, might I suggest Lyle's Stubborn Fat Solution when you're ready.
 
Steve, I was thinking about doing something similar to this to maybe give the fat burning process a kick in the ass. I am not so sure what a small protein meal consists of though... I usually like my protein and banana shake after a work out (best of carbs/protein in one delicious treat). I also don't know how often this is considered to be used to be effective (daily? twice a week?) or even if weight training still falls into play...

# Take 200mg caffeine 1-2 hours before cardio

# Do 10 minutes of intense cardio (can be HIIT, but doesn't have to be)

# Rest 5 Minutes

# Do 30-45 minutes of Steady State Cardio at moderate to moderately high intensity

# Wait an hour before having a small protein meal

# 2-3 hours later go back to normal eating
 
Steve said:
Makes perfect sense. I've shared similar struggles. For instance, I am have extremely small bone structure. I can touch my fingers around my wrists, believe it or not.

My ideal 'vision' of myself has my with really thick arms that are vascular.

Truth is, I'll never have that. My bones aren't going to grow to that extent. And my long limbs limit my muscular growth capabilities.

I can't harp on that though.

And my moral isn't that what you desire is impossible. Far from it. My moral is simply that you can't get caught up basing your success either being ideal or not. That's obvious and you know it. I know it. Everyone understands it. Yet, so many fall into it.

The way I combat it is easy. I solely focus on progress. Not progress toward some ultimate goal. But progress based on where I was a month ago.

Also, might I suggest Lyle's Stubborn Fat Solution when you're ready.
Click to expand...

I also blame myself for not having taken pictures and/or measurements on a consistent basis. I am obviously not helping my situation by not trying to track properly...
 
To be honest I haven't delved into the book in detail yet. I haven't had to and I've had more important stuff to read. I can dig into soon though and let you know. I know quite a few people who have realized good progress using the protocol in the book.
 
So I decided to not let the MUSHY get to me. I can't say "not let it get to me anymore..." but I can be proactive in continuing to CUT fat and see where it takes me.

Thank you guys for really helping me wrap my head around it all.
 
Maybe you should change your name from darth pooh to darth hardbody :)

Pooh is a tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff... that might be working against you :)
 
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