Curvie Girlie
New member
Thank you Lisa! 
Curvie Girlie The Diary: Mind Playin' Tricks on Me
- Thread starter Curvie Girlie
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douknowjello
New member
Your journal is such a busy place though this is the first I realized you had a new romance I always feel like I'm coming into the middle of a convo lost and then I gotta back up several pages to catch on, lol. So you may have said already but how'd you meet PZ? My hubby hasn't done anything romantic in a LONG time so I'll just live vicariously if you don't mind
I always feel like I'm coming into the middle of a convo lost and then I gotta back up several pages to catch on, lol. So you may have said already but how'd you meet PZ? My hubby hasn't done anything romantic in a LONG time so I'll just live vicariously if you don't mind Curvie Girlie
New member
Hmm, I met PZ on December 7th at this Restaurant/Dance Lounge. He was friends and business partners with our friend Evan, with whom I went to UCSC back in 2004. I hadn't seen Evan since 2005, and all of a sudden I ran into them, together. PZ is so quiet I didn't even notice him for an HOUR! LOL--hey I can drag up the story--here and here.
Curvie Girlie
New member
I feel the need to do so much more with my life, and I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I feel this way and am not doing more. I HAVE been concentrating a lot of effort in staying in touch with friends and acquaintances, supporting buddies who seem like they need someone to talk to, and building a deeper relationship with PZ. The last one came effortlessly this weekend. WOW we had a good time together. There was a distinct difference in his body language toward me after I told him (honestly) that if any shit hit the fan in his life, I'd still be there for him. When the words came out I shocked myself a little and realized they were true, I just hadn't thought about it until then 
.
Anyway, I feel good about myself because I'm happy, content, blessed and appreciate it, have great balance between my mind/body/spirit, and find myself much better at saying the right things to people to aid their own happiness. In fact, I'm so happy about my positive exchanges with others, I feel the urge to take it to the next level. You know the saying "you can't love someone unless you love yourself" and other such related philosophies? Well, I'm finally at a great place. Totally secure, peaceful from the inside, out (and can still be hyphy some days), and you know what? I feel able to face up to anything life has to offer. Whatever it is, I'm going to be GLAD that I can live, love and learn.
Basically, I can love others unconditionally. Without needing them to "complete" me. This is probably why God, Goddess, Fate, Karma, or whatever, tossed me a PZ. Because I was ready for him. Maybe not, but I'm starting to wonder.....
However, CHRIS is where I put most of my energy and spare time. He seems to need me, and I told him and was being honest, that I'd do all I could to assist him. He is my friend, but also I think that my efforts to make him realize he should be happy and stay alive (which is hard with all the medication fucking with his head, and his deteriorating body) are probably my biggest effort to give back to the world. I keep telling him "the world needs you. You are awesome! Don't be stingy, you need to teach others your knowledge." I think I need to get us BOTH involved in the community somehow......
I also need to have "me time" or I might start to go crazy. With work, friends, family, Chris, exercise, dance, fun, me time, and commuting, I have very little time left to start new projects let alone clean the house like I should have. Sigh!
I'm glad to be happy, though
. Anyway, I feel good about myself because I'm happy, content, blessed and appreciate it, have great balance between my mind/body/spirit, and find myself much better at saying the right things to people to aid their own happiness. In fact, I'm so happy about my positive exchanges with others, I feel the urge to take it to the next level. You know the saying "you can't love someone unless you love yourself" and other such related philosophies? Well, I'm finally at a great place. Totally secure, peaceful from the inside, out (and can still be hyphy some days
), and you know what? I feel able to face up to anything life has to offer. Whatever it is, I'm going to be GLAD that I can live, love and learn.Basically, I can love others unconditionally. Without needing them to "complete" me. This is probably why God, Goddess, Fate, Karma, or whatever, tossed me a PZ. Because I was ready for him. Maybe not, but I'm starting to wonder.....
However, CHRIS is where I put most of my energy and spare time. He seems to need me, and I told him and was being honest, that I'd do all I could to assist him. He is my friend, but also I think that my efforts to make him realize he should be happy and stay alive (which is hard with all the medication fucking with his head, and his deteriorating body) are probably my biggest effort to give back to the world. I keep telling him "the world needs you. You are awesome! Don't be stingy, you need to teach others your knowledge." I think I need to get us BOTH involved in the community somehow......
I also need to have "me time" or I might start to go crazy. With work, friends, family, Chris, exercise, dance, fun, me time, and commuting, I have very little time left to start new projects let alone clean the house like I should have. Sigh!
I'm glad to be happy, though
Ivette8uNOmore
New member
Being at peace with mind body and soul is an amazing transformation to attain. Life is so challenging and throws so many obstacles that sometimes it's much easier to lose touch with oneself and what one really wants...
I'm so happy that you are so balanced with yourself regardless of the obstacles and challenges that you are faced with...
WOOOOOOOOOOOhooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! you go girl!!!! We need more people like you in the world and the world would be such a happier place...
I'm so happy that you are so balanced with yourself regardless of the obstacles and challenges that you are faced with...
WOOOOOOOOOOOhooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! you go girl!!!! We need more people like you in the world and the world would be such a happier place...
Muggwuffin
New member
just stopping by too see how your doing bunny
thats really awesome your in such a good place atm, uv worked so hard for it on the inside and out and you truly deserve it, i really admire what you have achieved for yourself and i think your an amazing person.
im really happy for you
thats really awesome your in such a good place atm, uv worked so hard for it on the inside and out and you truly deserve it, i really admire what you have achieved for yourself and i think your an amazing person.
im really happy for you
Yeah, Val -- you're definitely the BOMB!
You have a knack of enhancing and enriching people's lives and you are such an incredibly giving person. And you seem to do it so effortlessly. You're a real gem
You have a knack of enhancing and enriching people's lives and you are such an incredibly giving person. And you seem to do it so effortlessly. You're a real gem
T2 Trucker
New member
Well help my life with a lil Wine Tasting 101, please.
is going on within walking distance from my house this Saturday.
I've never been to a tasting fair before. Why does one swirl the wine in the glass and do I have to do that every time?? swirl then taste? sniff has to come in there, too, right??
I'm confused
is going on within walking distance from my house this Saturday.
I've never been to a tasting fair before. Why does one swirl the wine in the glass and do I have to do that every time?? swirl then taste? sniff has to come in there, too, right??
I'm confused
140Days
New member
Awwz...sounds like you've been having alot of romance in your life lately
Val, you deserve some damn great romance. When you shine, we all get to bathe in your warmth!!
geoaidan
New member
Val,
Wow, it sounds like you've got a big heart. Well, that part was pretty obvious with Chris. It does sound like you might be giving more help to others, more than what you receive. That is an excellent display of character.. I just hope that you feel that you get as much back. That part is very important.
You know, from reading your journal, it does seem that you do a lot with your life, and that there are a lot of things going on for you. I envy that. I don't do as much as you do in life, and you want to do more? You're an awesome person, and everyone around you knows that.
That can be quite challenging. I had a friend similar to Chris in the sense that he was very suicidal, couldn't even look at himself in the eye in the mirror, and had trouble socializing with people because of his issues. Jeremy, my friend- is someone I have known since I was 4 or 5. He was a classmate that I grew up with, and ended up being best of friends.
He was constantly being teased in school when he was growing up, because he had a tendency to space out (he is very highly intelligent- off the charts. He was able to write a 2 page paper explaining why theoretically 1+1=2 in complicated math that I couldn't even understand) He is a very awkwardly geeky looking type of person, but he had a real good heart. I defended him in school all these years and got myself in trouble because of it. (The kids were really cruel to him to the point that they tried to hurt him physically. I got into a couple fights to stop them from doing that.)
Anyway, he grew up being very angry and hostile because of being teased all those years- he became a dark person. I have put so many years trying to keep him on track- he had an awesome potential to be somebody- an engineer or an architect. Everybody thought he'd turn out that way. He was beyond that brilliant.
I Worked so hard to be there for him. I did everything you have done- stopped him from killing himself, tried to tell him that he was worth more than he thought he did. I encouraged him to try and look at himself in the eye in the mirror... I could never cease to be amazed at how difficult it was for him. He really couldn't look at himself in the eye. It was really sad.
He also had a bad heart. He had open heart surgery twice, and the doctors had to cut open his ribs to access his heart and sew it back up. I was there through the whole thing- I was the only friend he had, literally. It was such an energy drain. So, I really do understand somewhat what you're going through. It's not easy.
To make things worse, he found out he was adopted when he was 16. It crushed him. His parents basically said "the reason why you're not as normal as your sister is, because you are adopted, but she is not." Christmas time, he got the old family computer. His sister got a new laptop. When his sister graduated from college, she got a brand new PT Cruiser. He got the 7 year old family van. In all the family pictures, the parents are standing directly behind his sister, their biological child- both of them holding her on the shoulders, while he was standing kind off to the side. All of the family pictures through the years were like that. I was appalled when I saw that.
Anyhow, one day, Jeremy just snapped. He lost it and he turned against me, and started to push me away. No reason whatsoever. I still do not understand it to this day. Another friend of mine, who eventually became his friend during his college years- informed me that Jeremy is today living in a crack house in Colorado! He's doing all those kind of drugs... Living off welfare, and just destroying his life.
From somebody who went through this for all these years please know that...
What you have done for Chris is phenomenal. You really do deserve some time for yourself, and please take that opportunity. You're full of heart, and I can recognize that you feel obligated towards him. Just as I did towards Jeremy. I can tell that Chris is a far better person than Jeremy was, so there is no comparison in that area.
Maybe it is possible to sit down with Chris, and explain to him that you love him very much, and that you care very much to what happens to him- and that it takes a lot out of you.. And ask him if he can promise you that he won't do anything to himself if you take a couple of days off. Maybe he can see that you've put so much love and effort into him that he would be disappointing you & hurting you if he did anything as you took a break?
Again, you're an awesome person. I do not believe in God, but I believe in Karma. You have a lot of good Karma. Hang in there, you have done so much good. You have done more good than most people do in their entire lifetime.
George
Wow, it sounds like you've got a big heart. Well, that part was pretty obvious with Chris. It does sound like you might be giving more help to others, more than what you receive. That is an excellent display of character.. I just hope that you feel that you get as much back. That part is very important.
You know, from reading your journal, it does seem that you do a lot with your life, and that there are a lot of things going on for you. I envy that. I don't do as much as you do in life, and you want to do more?
You're an awesome person, and everyone around you knows that.That can be quite challenging. I had a friend similar to Chris in the sense that he was very suicidal, couldn't even look at himself in the eye in the mirror, and had trouble socializing with people because of his issues. Jeremy, my friend- is someone I have known since I was 4 or 5. He was a classmate that I grew up with, and ended up being best of friends.
He was constantly being teased in school when he was growing up, because he had a tendency to space out (he is very highly intelligent- off the charts. He was able to write a 2 page paper explaining why theoretically 1+1=2 in complicated math that I couldn't even understand) He is a very awkwardly geeky looking type of person, but he had a real good heart. I defended him in school all these years and got myself in trouble because of it. (The kids were really cruel to him to the point that they tried to hurt him physically. I got into a couple fights to stop them from doing that.)
Anyway, he grew up being very angry and hostile because of being teased all those years- he became a dark person. I have put so many years trying to keep him on track- he had an awesome potential to be somebody- an engineer or an architect. Everybody thought he'd turn out that way. He was beyond that brilliant.
I Worked so hard to be there for him. I did everything you have done- stopped him from killing himself, tried to tell him that he was worth more than he thought he did. I encouraged him to try and look at himself in the eye in the mirror... I could never cease to be amazed at how difficult it was for him. He really couldn't look at himself in the eye. It was really sad.
He also had a bad heart. He had open heart surgery twice, and the doctors had to cut open his ribs to access his heart and sew it back up. I was there through the whole thing- I was the only friend he had, literally. It was such an energy drain. So, I really do understand somewhat what you're going through. It's not easy.
To make things worse, he found out he was adopted when he was 16. It crushed him. His parents basically said "the reason why you're not as normal as your sister is, because you are adopted, but she is not." Christmas time, he got the old family computer. His sister got a new laptop. When his sister graduated from college, she got a brand new PT Cruiser. He got the 7 year old family van. In all the family pictures, the parents are standing directly behind his sister, their biological child- both of them holding her on the shoulders, while he was standing kind off to the side. All of the family pictures through the years were like that. I was appalled when I saw that.
Anyhow, one day, Jeremy just snapped. He lost it and he turned against me, and started to push me away. No reason whatsoever. I still do not understand it to this day. Another friend of mine, who eventually became his friend during his college years- informed me that Jeremy is today living in a crack house in Colorado! He's doing all those kind of drugs... Living off welfare, and just destroying his life.
From somebody who went through this for all these years please know that...
What you have done for Chris is phenomenal. You really do deserve some time for yourself, and please take that opportunity. You're full of heart, and I can recognize that you feel obligated towards him. Just as I did towards Jeremy. I can tell that Chris is a far better person than Jeremy was, so there is no comparison in that area.
Maybe it is possible to sit down with Chris, and explain to him that you love him very much, and that you care very much to what happens to him- and that it takes a lot out of you.. And ask him if he can promise you that he won't do anything to himself if you take a couple of days off. Maybe he can see that you've put so much love and effort into him that he would be disappointing you & hurting you if he did anything as you took a break?
Again, you're an awesome person. I do not believe in God, but I believe in Karma. You have a lot of good Karma. Hang in there, you have done so much good. You have done more good than most people do in their entire lifetime.
George
yes definitely take some time for yourself. you are such a good friend val and i know how difficult it can be to be that rock for someone. i was never in such a situation as you or george but i did have an ex boyfriend who was later diagnosed with manic depression. and man was he smart.
and you have done an amazing work with chris. you somehow connected him to all of us here. i admire him and i wish i could spend a day or two talking to him...about so many things.
a big hug to you
and a wonderful rest if you manage to grab some for yourself
Lena
and you have done an amazing work with chris. you somehow connected him to all of us here. i admire him and i wish i could spend a day or two talking to him...about so many things.
a big hug to you
and a wonderful rest if you manage to grab some for yourself
Lena
cinderelly
New member
Im glad you are happy and have found your balance between mind/body/soul.
Im glad you found PZ, I totally beleive in Karma and I woudl say you are getting yours
Def find some me time thou Babe...
Im glad you found PZ, I totally beleive in Karma and I woudl say you are getting yours
Def find some me time thou Babe...
jzthedetermined
New member
Hey Bunny!!! You are in a GREAT place right now!!! You deserve it, you've worked your ass off for it!!! You are truley special!!! And by that, I mean this... , not "short bus"!!! Enjoy the amazing people in your life, and keep spreading the "Bunny love"!!!
, not "short bus"!!! Enjoy the amazing people in your life, and keep spreading the "Bunny love"!!! 
MissDFITT
New member
Good morning beautiful... its funny how we have to make these kinds of decisions in our lives. But I am confident you will make the right one and find whatever it is you seek. You're such a great friend and I am jealous of your physical friends and glad to have you in my life.... Take your time and the decision will present itself
Love you!
Love you!
bethann1156
New member
Val, So good to hear that things are going well for you! I love to hear all the goings on in your busy happy life!
I love to hear all the goings on in your busy happy life!Curvie Girlie
New member
Wow
Wow
It is pretty astounding how supportive and wonderful you people are!!!!!! Do I feel loved!!!!!!!! 
Y'all are so great. I DO miss some WLF people who never visit me anymore but I know they are really busy with life and stuff, maybe they'll come around again somewhere down the road--but for those who visit and read, awwwww bless your hearts
I'm gonna address your comments, but I'll update my progress first:
Weight: 140.0 lbs!!!!
Yesterday I was sooooooo hungry all day, and I ate my good foods which included two of my high protein, organic, all natural nut-based energy bars and I've been SUPER good about staying away from junk and sugar except the delicious artisan chocolates PZ and I had on Sunday. By 3pm I was up to 1485 calories. But after that, my appetite dissipated. I went to Yoga 2-3 with the sub Treena, and it was a good bout, but I didn't break a sweat. Then I went to Acroyoga and had a good time "flying" some newbies. Neither of them could base very well so I didn't get to fly, much, but that is totally fine. We went by height so I ended up with 2 guys who were about 5'6" but heavier than me--the teacher Paige was impressed by my legs' strength At the end of class we did some Thai massage and we were instructed to find a different partner than the ones we worked with--lucky for me the hottest young guy in the class chose me 
He's really cool, I'd seen him in that class two other times and he did a good job massaging me. I tried my best on him, and I paid close attention because I was excited about using the techniques on PZ--in fact, I do believe I shall make him come with me next Monday He'd really enjoy it!
to be continued.....too many smilies.......
Wow
It is pretty astounding how supportive and wonderful you people are!!!!!! Do I feel loved!!!!!!!! Y'all are so great. I DO miss some WLF people who never visit me anymore but I know they are really busy with life and stuff, maybe they'll come around again somewhere down the road--but for those who visit and read, awwwww bless your hearts
I'm gonna address your comments, but I'll update my progress first:
Weight: 140.0 lbs!!!! Yesterday I was sooooooo hungry all day, and I ate my good foods which included two of my high protein, organic, all natural nut-based energy bars and I've been SUPER good about staying away from junk and sugar except the delicious artisan chocolates PZ and I had on Sunday. By 3pm I was up to 1485 calories. But after that, my appetite dissipated. I went to Yoga 2-3 with the sub Treena, and it was a good bout, but I didn't break a sweat. Then I went to Acroyoga and had a good time "flying" some newbies. Neither of them could base very well so I didn't get to fly, much, but that is totally fine. We went by height so I ended up with 2 guys who were about 5'6" but heavier than me--the teacher Paige was impressed by my legs' strength
At the end of class we did some Thai massage and we were instructed to find a different partner than the ones we worked with--lucky for me the hottest young guy in the class chose me He's really cool, I'd seen him in that class two other times and he did a good job massaging me. I tried my best on him, and I paid close attention because I was excited about using the techniques on PZ--in fact, I do believe I shall make him come with me next Monday He'd really enjoy it!to be continued.....too many smilies.......
Curvie Girlie
New member
Post continued
I went to Chris's house and we watched The Happening together before I drove home. He's so sweet, he fixed a necklace for me and bought me a 50 spool of blank music CDs, because I mentioned that I needed to get some and didn't have the time What a sweetheart! I'm telling you, the men in my life now (PZ, Chris, Barre, Uncle Lou, and my grandpas) totally spoil me . They are so good to me and they treat me like solid gold; I simply cannot believe my good fortune
I only had a Perfect Foods bar for "dinner" because my body wasn't even hungry. It did, however, want to eat a delcious meal just for the sentient experience I have, now at this stage in my diet, mastered the differentiation. I'm not only listening to my body, I'm feeding myself accordingly. This is good. I'm taking my multi-vitamin, drinking water when I want liquid, replacing sugary or salty junk with nutritious, protein-rich snacks, eating big breakfasts (my b-fasts are usually about 650 calories), and having very meager dinners, NOT BECAUSE I believe in some theory on when to eat what, but because I'm honestly more hungry in the beginning of the day than at the end. I just had to break my habit of having a large dinner regardless of my hunger levels. Well, there is also the factor that I've been sick lately and haven't been doing moderate or intense cardio 
. I DO feel great today!!!!!!!
SO still not a drop of alcohol to drink in a fortnight. Third week of the Challenge and I've been successful. Weight is down from 145.5 lbs at the beginning of this month to 140.0 lbs. Muscle is being maintained by all the Yoga. Flexibility is great. No pains or strains in my body. Looking forward to climbing again--this is the first day I feel fully recuperated from my climbing on Thursday (there was some lingering soreness in my traps, but good sore, not bad sore). Body image is top notch. The heat wave is over and it's pretty chilly again (heh heh--for Cali's coast) so no cute clothes for a while, but that's cool. I'd say January has been fabulous.
Will be back, got lots of work to do again!
I went to Chris's house and we watched The Happening together before I drove home. He's so sweet, he fixed a necklace for me and bought me a 50 spool of blank music CDs, because I mentioned that I needed to get some and didn't have the time
What a sweetheart! I'm telling you, the men in my life now (PZ, Chris, Barre, Uncle Lou, and my grandpas) totally spoil me . They are so good to me and they treat me like solid gold; I simply cannot believe my good fortune I only had a Perfect Foods bar for "dinner" because my body wasn't even hungry. It did, however, want to eat a delcious meal just for the sentient experience
I have, now at this stage in my diet, mastered the differentiation. I'm not only listening to my body, I'm feeding myself accordingly. This is good. I'm taking my multi-vitamin, drinking water when I want liquid, replacing sugary or salty junk with nutritious, protein-rich snacks, eating big breakfasts (my b-fasts are usually about 650 calories), and having very meager dinners, NOT BECAUSE I believe in some theory on when to eat what, but because I'm honestly more hungry in the beginning of the day than at the end. I just had to break my habit of having a large dinner regardless of my hunger levels. Well, there is also the factor that I've been sick lately and haven't been doing moderate or intense cardio . I DO feel great today!!!!!!!SO still not a drop of alcohol to drink in a fortnight. Third week of the Challenge and I've been successful. Weight is down from 145.5 lbs at the beginning of this month to 140.0 lbs. Muscle is being maintained by all the Yoga. Flexibility is great. No pains or strains in my body. Looking forward to climbing again--this is the first day I feel fully recuperated from my climbing on Thursday (there was some lingering soreness in my traps, but good sore, not bad sore). Body image is top notch. The heat wave is over and it's pretty chilly again (heh heh--for Cali's coast) so no cute clothes for a while, but that's cool. I'd say January has been fabulous.
Will be back, got lots of work to do again!
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