MissJellyBelly
New member
Hope you are having a good weekend! I checked out my race pics, there was actually a good one in the mix.
Did you get yours?
Did you get yours?
Curvie Girlie The Diary: Mind Playin' Tricks on Me
- Thread starter Curvie Girlie
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Happychubette
Banned
What are you having for Thanksgiving?
Curvie Girlie
New member
Morning, all!
I'll address the questions a little later, just wanted to get this off my chest....
Well, I ran into the EX BOYFRIEND
yesterday.
Seeing him for the first time in 4 months was less impactful than I thought--he looks exactly the same as he did several months ago, and while I wasn't sure how I'd feel when I saw him again, yesterday I didn't feel much! It was just like, "Oh hey, how's it going?" He bought me 2 pints at the Brewery but he was only there for 15 minutes after I showed up--he had already been there, eating and drinking. Anyway, I'd just got back from belly dancing and was in my sexy BD clothes but fortunately I had regular clothes to change into. He gave me a half-assed hug but I screwed it up by hugging him back warmly and genuinely, pretty much out of spite. I'm a bitch like that
We sat at the bar and there was a lot of awkward silence that I decided to fill with ramblings about the high speed police chase down my street that I didn't witness, and my concerns for the winter, as it's been known to SNOW and my road is like a 25% grade. It WAS weird sitting next to him, cause it was only the second time we've been in each other's presence since we stopped having sex, even though that was back at the end of May. We had a LOT of chemistry, amazing chemistry that made us come back to each other physically again and again, despite all sorts of fucked up circumstances. So yeah, despite the fact that we're not an item and haven't even been close for many months, I almost kissed and hugged him out of sheer habit as he sat next to me. Nah, I take that back, I didn't "almost" do that, my body just remembered how that used to be pleasant and how it came natural for over 2 years.
Everything was legit and koser and pleasant enough, despite the awkwardness, the only thing that trips me out was the look in his eyes. When I was studying Anthropology, we read this essay on "The Laws of Looking" and how basically, as humans, eye contact can get you KILLED sometimes. Well, I sort of wanted to tell him to stop looking at me because I thought he looked at me a little too much. Sure, I had on my belly dancing makeup (not really different, just some black eyeliner that I curl up a tiny bit at the sides of my eyes) and I probably looked good because 2 men in the bar called me "beautiful" in front of the ex and I during that time, but still. I didn't like the look in his eyes because I thought it was too familiar, too soft, disturbingly close to the adjective of "loving" and DEFINITELY the very same look he had used to seduce me against my better judgment in the past. If his girlfriend was present, I'd want her to slap him
Thing is, he wasn't trying anything, and I know him all too well: he had NO IDEA what his eyes were doing, and his body language was nice and closed-off. His eyes betrayed him. Thank goodness I kept MY eyes totally neutral and didn't waste my time looking at him a lot. I was chatting with whomever wanted to--at the BCB, the room is pretty much engaged in one big conversation that you can join in at any time.
I was glad he left when he did and he said formally like the dork he is, "Until we meet again, Friend!" and that was that!
Haha! I like that emoticon. Anyway, I spent the rest of the day with Chris and Barre at my house, chilllaxing. Chris is doing much better lately, and I make sure to call him and visit, or have him come over as much as possible.
Saturday the large party I helped host at the winery left me a ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR TIP
so yes, that will definitely be put toward my Yoga retreat after Thanksgiving! 
My weight is up!
But my body looks good to me, must be some extra glycogen. I plan on being better about my diet this week, I REALLY want to stay in my goal range!
I'll address the questions a little later, just wanted to get this off my chest....
Well, I ran into the EX BOYFRIEND
yesterday.Seeing him for the first time in 4 months was less impactful than I thought--he looks exactly the same as he did several months ago, and while I wasn't sure how I'd feel when I saw him again, yesterday I didn't feel much! It was just like, "Oh hey, how's it going?" He bought me 2 pints at the Brewery but he was only there for 15 minutes after I showed up--he had already been there, eating and drinking. Anyway, I'd just got back from belly dancing and was in my sexy BD clothes but fortunately I had regular clothes to change into. He gave me a half-assed hug but I screwed it up by hugging him back warmly and genuinely, pretty much out of spite. I'm a bitch like that
We sat at the bar and there was a lot of awkward silence that I decided to fill with ramblings about the high speed police chase down my street that I didn't witness, and my concerns for the winter, as it's been known to SNOW and my road is like a 25% grade. It WAS weird sitting next to him, cause it was only the second time we've been in each other's presence since we stopped having sex, even though that was back at the end of May. We had a LOT of chemistry, amazing chemistry that made us come back to each other physically again and again, despite all sorts of fucked up circumstances. So yeah, despite the fact that we're not an item and haven't even been close for many months, I almost kissed and hugged him out of sheer habit as he sat next to me. Nah, I take that back, I didn't "almost" do that, my body just remembered how that used to be pleasant and how it came natural for over 2 years.
Everything was legit and koser and pleasant enough, despite the awkwardness, the only thing that trips me out was the look in his eyes. When I was studying Anthropology, we read this essay on "The Laws of Looking" and how basically, as humans, eye contact can get you KILLED sometimes. Well, I sort of wanted to tell him to stop looking at me because I thought he looked at me a little too much. Sure, I had on my belly dancing makeup (not really different, just some black eyeliner that I curl up a tiny bit at the sides of my eyes) and I probably looked good because 2 men in the bar called me "beautiful" in front of the ex and I during that time, but still. I didn't like the look in his eyes because I thought it was too familiar, too soft, disturbingly close to the adjective of "loving" and DEFINITELY the very same look he had used to seduce me against my better judgment in the past. If his girlfriend was present, I'd want her to slap him
Thing is, he wasn't trying anything, and I know him all too well: he had NO IDEA what his eyes were doing, and his body language was nice and closed-off. His eyes betrayed him. Thank goodness I kept MY eyes totally neutral and didn't waste my time looking at him a lot. I was chatting with whomever wanted to--at the BCB, the room is pretty much engaged in one big conversation that you can join in at any time.I was glad he left when he did and he said formally like the dork he is, "Until we meet again, Friend!" and that was that!
Haha! I like that emoticon. Anyway, I spent the rest of the day with Chris and Barre at my house, chilllaxing. Chris is doing much better lately, and I make sure to call him and visit, or have him come over as much as possible.
Saturday the large party I helped host at the winery left me a ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR TIP
so yes, that will definitely be put toward my Yoga retreat after Thanksgiving! My weight is up!
But my body looks good to me, must be some extra glycogen. I plan on being better about my diet this week, I REALLY want to stay in my goal range!
airmanwifey819
New member
Wow Val, busy busy busy! Great job with the ex. I hate that soft warm look in someones eyes when it's incredibly inappropriate. it just tends to make an already awkward situation even worse. ah well, sounds like you did great though.
Glad to hear Chris has been doing better lately. You're one hell of a great friend to stick by him through everything.
Have fun on your yoga retreat. that 100 dollar tip should help.
Glad to hear Chris has been doing better lately. You're one hell of a great friend to stick by him through everything.
Have fun on your yoga retreat. that 100 dollar tip should help.
Mamaz2ndbaby
New member
Curvie...meant to post this yesterday but didnt...leave that nucca 'lone. Exes have a way of 'getting in' even when we try our hardest-on some levels- to block the entry way. I think he's feeling you out.
MissDFITT
New member
Hey beautiful! I think you handled yourself very well with the ex encounter. Neutral is the way to go. Chillaxn' sounds like a good way to spend the weekend!
What yoga retreat are you looking into? If you already said it tell my lazy ass to go back through and read!
Happy Monday!! Here's to staying on track with our goals!
What yoga retreat are you looking into? If you already said it tell my lazy ass to go back through and read!
Happy Monday!! Here's to staying on track with our goals!
Alta818
New member
I've always believed that about the eyes! I often catch myself analyzing people's "LOOKS"...and often times like you say....they don't even know what they are ACTUALLY giving off through their eyes! ....
....interesting silence....silent moments are horribly intense and awkward sometimes! YOU MADE IT though! U Poor onlookers,..."Eat your heart out"!!!! 
....interesting silence....silent moments are horribly intense and awkward sometimes! YOU MADE IT though!
U Poor onlookers,..."Eat your heart out"!!!! jzthedetermined
New member
Hey Bunny... the "Eyes" have it... or don't in his case. It is amazing how much a person can give away just from a look. Great job handling the situation. You are a ROCK!
brunettegoddess
New member
Hey CG, in my complete unprofessional opinion, my guess would be that you probably don't have very much body fat to speak of and the weight fluctuation is more fluids, glycogen, misc. crap than body fat at all. Which is why your body looks great all the time even if you are up 5 pounds.
The run in with the ex is interesting. Are you finding it fun that you felt little if anything even though he was looking at you the way he did?
Hope today is a good start to your week
The run in with the ex is interesting. Are you finding it fun that you felt little if anything even though he was looking at you the way he did?
Hope today is a good start to your week
sammyboy24
New member
Hey Val,
Great job on handling the EX.... I totally know what you mean about awkward silence... I'm really bad with silence... I usually turn into a complete chatterbox to avoid it, lol... The eyes do say a lot. I always look into people's eyes... It's mostly how my gaydar works too
Congrats on the 100.00 tip. That sounds nice, and you have a great yoga retreat planned to put it towards. Lucky you!
Good luck with the workouts and eating this week. I'm really going to try to be good with mine this week too.
-Sam
Great job on handling the EX.... I totally know what you mean about awkward silence... I'm really bad with silence... I usually turn into a complete chatterbox to avoid it, lol... The eyes do say a lot. I always look into people's eyes... It's mostly how my gaydar works too
Congrats on the 100.00 tip. That sounds nice, and you have a great yoga retreat planned to put it towards. Lucky you!
Good luck with the workouts and eating this week. I'm really going to try to be good with mine this week too.
-Sam
Curvie Girlie
New member
MJB! No I didn't, how do I find out where to get the pictures? I'll PM you later...
i think i'm going to have to do this survey thing one of these days. reading yours was enlightening (hope that's how it should be said lol).
congrats on the half-marathon. i truly admire your dedication
Oh Lena, we missed you!
Thanks, I appreciate it. However, my dedication to exercise has sort of taken over my life! LOL! Still, I don't really WANT to put my time and energy into much else at this time....Good question! I might start a thread to get some ideas for "vegetarians" for TG--I eat fish but for some reason, fish for TG doesn't sound good!
Good morning, Val. I liked the survey.
Morning Steve! Just being brutally honest, hahaha...
Curvie Girlie
New member
Wow Val, busy busy busy! Great job with the ex. I hate that soft warm look in someones eyes when it's incredibly inappropriate. it just tends to make an already awkward situation even worse. ah well, sounds like you did great though.
Glad to hear Chris has been doing better lately. You're one hell of a great friend to stick by him through everything.
Have fun on your yoga retreat. that 100 dollar tip should help.
Thanks so much Shandy!
Yes, the ex and I are in a completely different place, so I was disturbed that that look in his eyes was exactly the same as when we were dating, etc. Good thing he probably wasn't aware of it, otherwise he'd be pretty embarrassed! Haha!
Thank you, being a great friend to the people I love and care about it a top priority in my life
I respect your opinion, and if that's true, that's what I'm afraid of. Um, the ex was a master manipulator of me and yes, we were involved in a S&M sort of relationship, although I've healed and got over it a long time ago, the remnants might still be lying around like broken glass. I'll be fine, though--haven't heard from him, and don't want/expect to!
Curvie Girlie
New member
Thank you Sunshine!
I am doing this Post Thanksgiving Day retreat that starts Friday afternoon and goes until Sunday afternoon, in the Santa Cruz-Watsonville mountains Thanks!
I truly appreciate everyone's support, for in meatspace, I have NOT TOLD ANYONE except Chris and Barre that I ran into the ex. I'm too embarrassed to admit that I let him "into my life" in a very small way, because a lot of them advised me to not speak to or see him in a few years. Haha! Yup, that bad! Oh thank you!
Yeah, yeah, the shitty thing is that his eyes USED TO make me melt, and they were very convincing because ya think that they would reveal a person's true feelings, but he, being a Gemini and an unstable one at that with much conflicted feelings, would change his mind in an instant to my chagrin. The eyes don't lie? Yes, they do. Trust me! Haha, not my problem anymore! Thank you, BG, and yes my weight sort of fluctuates all crazy out of seemingly nowhere at times, currently it's back to 145, so that seems to be its set-point as of late.
Yes I am
Besides! What could I do? It's not like I found him fantastic to look at! 
I had no desire to STARE HAHAHAHA! Awww perfect! Thanks for all the support
Curvie Girlie
New member
Thank you!
Um, I doubt it. He's not really a shady person, at least, from the 2 years I knew him. His dishonesty with his current is a little out of character, but it seems like it's just rebellion in reaction to her attempt to control him (he is DEFINITELY not one to be controlled!) I THINK that he basically still has some love for me, as he has said he loves me forever, despite all we been through and no matter if we're not together or even close friends. And I KNOW he still thinks I'm attractive and I GUESS he'd probably still enjoy sex with me under circumstances like: if he didn't have a beezy, and if I'd let him (neither of which are true! HAHA!). So that was probably what was coming out through his eyes. Fucking things sparkled as warmly as they used to. What an asshole! He couldn't have had some decency and decorum to just give a blank expression??? Seriously. If I was a mean, violent person I would have pimp slapped him myself!
With all posters above regarding exes.
You handled it brilliantly, especially given that it seems that there was a sort of a physical chemistry between you that sounds like it was pretty strong.
Thank you so much
Yup, I suspect that out genes would be well suited to match up, why else would we be so physically drawn together Ooooo, yoga retreat!!! Soooo cool!!!! enjoy!
Thank you, I can hardly wait til November 28th!
first things first - CONGRATS on the tip nice nice
and also nice how you handled the ex situation. the urge to kiss him and stuff will often be there when you see him. i still sometimes have that when i see my ex bfs although i'm in a happy relationship. ah the chemistry....
nice niceand also nice how you handled the ex situation. the urge to kiss him and stuff will often be there when you see him. i still sometimes have that when i see my ex bfs although i'm in a happy relationship. ah the chemistry....
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