Curvie Girlie The Diary: Mind Playin' Tricks on Me

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:bigear: :lurk5:
In a nutshell I'm trying to shed "the last 5-10 lbs" and can't seem to bring myself to accrue caloric deficits. I live in the forest with my cat and my drive to work is 45-55 minutes each way But I live with a family friend and don't have to pay rent. My bills are phone, gym, Yoga Institute, car insurance, and belly dancing (probably more, can't think of it). I work in a wine broker's office Mon-Fri and pour for a tasting room of one of our wineries on Saturdays. I've been single since Jan 30th, but was still having sex with my ex until the end of May, when he started a long distance relationship with a girl he met online. During the summer I macked hos and kicked mad game until I met someone in HI that gave me a glimmer of hope for "true love" again, in the future. When I got back to the mainland I decided to buckle down and be sober and go to sleep early and do Yoga every morning and sometimes every night in preparation for my first half marathon on October 5th. I ended up surprising myself and maintained a 7:46 minute/mile pace and finished at 1:41:42. Since then I've sort of maintained a healthier lifestyle, because I was partying too much while dealing with the break-up. I've been going out a little more lately, and I keep running into guys who want my number, but none of them seem appealing to me and it's been SO LONG that I figure, why settle? Haha, digression! Um, I successfully lost a bunch of chub on here last year, but I gained it back, and so far this summer I'm maintaining a 22.7 BMI, with the help of my love for running and kick boxing. I eat quite a bit
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Ohhhh okay, lol. :)

Now I have to disagree! i love the scruffy look, and M.Man is one hot muthafucker! Seriously, I remember watching this one episode of L&O SVU where he was a guest "thug" and he stuck his tongue out in the court room all cocky and it was all I could do not to........whatever, he is HOT AS HELL, scruffy or not!
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We definitely agree on the HOTNESS that is Method man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamaz2ndbaby
Oh heck yea...I LOVE Method Man. So, I'm from NY and he is too...when I was there I would see him sometimes just hanging around look'n all scruffy...I'm like do something with ya'self Meth. C'mon.
Are you still in NY?
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:nopity:
Well, I was forced out of NYC because I was ready to buy a house and refused...just plain REFUSED to pay half a gazzillion dollars for a closet with a toilet. Maybe, just maybe if I find a main squeeze me and him can make it happen but until then NYC will be a faint memory in my heart. :nopity:
 
Steve said:
You can do what you set your mind to. Corny but damn true. The post as an attitude of "I'm just going with 'it' right now." If that makes you happy, that's what matters. If it's not, it's time to reevaluate.
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Thank you, Sweet Steve :) I am just goin' with it in regards to my weight, but I'm pushing myself and challenging myself in Vinyasa Ashtanga Yoga and in running--combined, it's happiness. Reevaluation would be these things: get serious about dieting and put myself in situations with "eligible bachelors". That's not too bad as far as what I feel needs to change. I was working on being happy, alone, for many months and was at peace. Lately been restless. This is something I'm not sure how to change, except keep truckin' and enjoy my time with friends (which I do). The long ass commutes to and from home by myself, and living with no one but my cat (Barre's been gone lately) make for a lonely Bunny. My main problem is I stopped chanting and meditating in the morning--THAT definitely made my day. So I shall most likely try to make it home earlier, to go to sleep earlier, to get up earlier, with enough time to do that :)
 
140Days said:
LOL That sounds like my menu for the last 3 years!!!

I miss beer :( ...but it's worth it to get back into shape!

Keep kicking ass, Curvie!!!!
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Thanks Paul! It is definitely worth it, quitting beer, if one has a problem with it, and of course, needs to lose fat for better health. Beer is known to just create abdominal fat more than anything else. Or maybe it just seems like that? :confused: I definitely drink WAAAAAAAAAAAY less beer than I used to!!!!! :eek: Seriously! Beer for dinner, like I said, is a rare occurrence. And yes, I will continue to kick ass--you too! You kick some serious all over the forum! :D
 
It's been two months (and a bit) since you got back from Hawaii. Are you seeing yourself in a different light then you did then? Are these differences (if any) permanent or temporary? Will changing the course now bring you closer or farther from your goals?
 
Yesterday I ran for 50 minutes, starting in the Santa Cruz harbor (stairs lead to it from the overpass) and running through half the parking lot to the beach, to the lighthouse, around the cement block, and across Seabright Beach (which is .75 mile long). The tide was so low that the beach connected with the Santa Cruz Boardwalk beach, so I continued on until I reached the wharf, then turned around and went all the way back to the lighthouse. The sand was nearly level, and packed hard. I was running at about a level 8 difficulty. I don't really warm up with jogging, I just run into it as fast as I can without stopping or slowing, which is like an 8 in difficulty even though I'm probably not as fast as I CAN be. Then I ran through the entire harbor, was well warm at this time, and practiced some sprints and recovery. Sprints were weak--level 9 instead of 10, and recovery was 7 instead of 5 or 6. Basically I was pushing myself as hard as I could the entire time up to that point. As I made my way to Arana Gulch (packed hard dirt meadow) the difficulty level went to a 6 because I was used to it. I don't think I slowed down much. I began speeding up because it was too easy for me. Back around the big loop and through the harbor to where I started, with some more sprinting but in all actuality I only did about 6 sprints. I ended up running for 50 minutes on pavement, sand, and asphalt with several up and downhills.

This is actually a good workout! I went to my gym, showered, left, went to the Yoga Institute, and took Mangala's class. She is really nice and makes us do MOON salutations, which is less intense, and she had us do pranayama (breathing techniques) with Nodi Shodhana (alternating nostrils). She emphasized twists last night. But the practice was far less vigorous as Delana's class, which is tonight.

Chris and I went for sushi, I skipped the beer and had sashimi: maguro and hamachi (tuna and yellow tail) and shared veggie tempura (fried, I know).

This morning my weight is 148, but today is DAY 1 so that's not a major concern for me. My appetite has decreased, and I'm watching my nutrition better today, most likely am going to start tracking calories starting Nov 1st. Why not? ;)
 
Trops said:
It's been two months (and a bit) since you got back from Hawaii. Are you seeing yourself in a different light then you did then? Are these differences (if any) permanent or temporary? Will changing the course now bring you closer or farther from your goals?
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I see myself as more disciplined and centered than I did back then, and less dependent on penises.

I think the differences are permanent, with temporary bouts of old behavior as people are wont to do. If the differences were totally temporary, I wouldn't be practicing Yoga as much as I am, and I'd be out drinking with friends more, and trying to mack on ho-boys and kick game.

Dieting (course change) and trying to meet cool guys (changes of course) will probably bring me closer to my goals of losing weight and finding a cool boyfriend to kick it with (but I'm going to try to hold out on sex until I think it's a wise decision to go ahead with it). Probably--I'm not psychic, unfortunately :(
 
This evening I'm kickboxing with Michael, and Yoga-ing with Delana. It's Yoga 2, which I like because it's very vigorous (Ashtanga Vinyasa), lots of Chat--shall we say, lowering from plank into tripcep pushups without touching the ground, then up into a half back bend on only hands and backs of feet, then back into downward dog....a lot of times we have to do all that with one leg in the air--lots of planks with one leg in the air. Makes sweat drip off me. Well, anyway, we also get into very interesting arm balances, which not only look cool, but they feel neat. It's hard to explain. A lot of poses are so bloody difficult to do and breathe deeply, and require so much concentration, that my mind literally empties. And there is just me, with sweat, and inward focus. It's pretty cool.

I am getting stonger, and my muscles are more pronounced ALL OVER because the poses work me from all angles. Yesterday I had a cute, puffy-sleeved plaid shirt with buttons and a low cut front. The sleeves had buttons, too and were a little tight. First thing in the morning I reached down to pick up something, flexing my right arm and PING! the bottom flew off like a rocket :( I immediately unbuttoned the left arm sleeve and went on with my morning. I didn't feel like tripping out over the circumference on my upper arms. That is one of the places where I put on fat (back of arm). I would like to lose some bunny chub to decrease my arm size. The muscle is just going to do its thang, I have no control over my genetic pre-dispositions. It does suck that short sleeves often cut into me on girly shirts, when the waist is usually loose. Like Dee, my upper body size is different from lower--my upper body is size 6 (cept the tits get me in tight situations at times) and lower is a size 8. I've never really been too concerned about size because I accepet my runners' thighs and LOVE my big ass :D

Afterward Chris and I are headed to the Cypress for dinner and Reggae Night with Selecta 7 DJs :)
 
Curvie Girlie said:
It took me 3 years to be able to run like this.
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See... that's just it... time is going to pass regardless of what we do, so we might as well be working towards some goals right?!?! Did you see my post over at Trops joint about the jump rope dude on youtube? My goal is to have a body like that in 3 years. Times going to pass anyway right... might as well have a kick ass body to go along with being older!!! Plus... think of the "side benifits" ;) ;) Thatmay make all the effort worthwhile!!
 
jzthedetermined said:
See... that's just it... time is going to pass regardless of what we do, so we might as well be working towards some goals right?!?! Did you see my post over at Trops joint about the jump rope dude on youtube? My goal is to have a body like that in 3 years. Times going to pass anyway right... might as well have a kick ass body to go along with being older!!! Plus... think of the "side benifits" ;) ;) Thatmay make all the effort worthwhile!!
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I hear ya JZ. I was out with some friends last night and these ladies kept comming up and hitting on me. I haven't really gone out that much lately as work and fitness keep me busy but it was a welcome compliment to know that women find you attractive enough to hit on ya. Kind of foreign to me from when I used to be 350lbs.
 
nc_bmac08 said:
I hear ya JZ. I was out with some friends last night and these ladies kept comming up and hitting on me. I haven't really gone out that much lately as work and fitness keep me busy but it was a welcome compliment to know that women find you attractive enough to hit on ya. Kind of foreign to me from when I used to be 350lbs.
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I hear YOU Mac. When I was in shape, I would get that a lot! I've always been lucky to land attractive woman, but after BALOONING to my current size... I've forgotten how it feels! Well I don't really go out anymore either, but I know what ya mean about the shot to the ego!
 
jzthedetermined said:
Did you see my post over at Trops joint about the jump rope dude on youtube? My goal is to have a body like that in 3 years.
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Yes, I did. Trops has the best joints around :sifone:

No, seriously, working toward goals, I think, keeps humans from crippling depression :cry:

nc_bmac08 said:
I hear ya JZ. I was out with some friends last night and these ladies kept comming up and hitting on me.
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:drool5: *wolf whistle* ALL RIGHT! Nice to hear :D
 
jzthedetermined said:
I hear YOU Mac. When I was in shape, I would get that a lot! I've always been lucky to land attractive woman, but after BALOONING to my current size... I've forgotten how it feels! Well I don't really go out anymore either, but I know what ya mean about the shot to the ego!
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JZ, your time will come :)
 
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