Crazy's diary, here we go

This is my problem too. Portion control feels almost like it is beyond me. It's like an uncontrollable force sometimes pulling me back for seconds or taking too much the first trip.

I'm not sure if I've managed to learn much yet about it. Except that I'm currently trying to keep healthy options around me so that if I do get sucked in, at least I won't do much damage.
 
WEEK 13 - 16/08/09-22/08/09 (WEEK 12 ENDED 161) + 3.2lbs
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17/08/2009 - 162 (+1LBS) another 1 on, here we go again.
19/08/2009 - 162.2 (0.2LB)

Well yesterday was another write off and now I am even more narked with myself not only for not sticking to my idea of a nice healthy eating day (which I enjoy) but again just feeding myself sweet things all day and general crap. :lurk5:

Oh well maybe there are some things which we are not meant to crack.

I got to 154lbs and look how quickly Ive piled it back on, brilliant.

Get my head in order, in order, in order.................

Portion control, control, control, control.......................now got 22lbs to lose to get to goal.

A guy took a picture of me in work yesterday and when I looked back I looked like my mother, :confused: gota sort that one out
 
WEEK 13 - 16/08/09-22/08/09 (WEEK 12 ENDED 161) + 3.2lbs
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17/08/2009 - 162 (+1LBS) another 1 on, here we go again.
19/08/2009 - 162.2 (0.2LB)
21/08/2009 - 162.0 (-2.2)

Well one day of sticking to what I consider to be normal eating, 2.2 lbs lost which has given me a big big boost what I needed.

Been on my bike this morning and got the heart rate going, hopefully I have enough resolve to stick with it now, blimey feel like I've been through a thunder storm, hate eating like shit for days on end.

May even go burn some calories down the gym tonight, after all I am a member, use it girl.
 
WEEK 13 - 16/08/09-22/08/09 (WEEK 12 ENDED 161) + 3.2lbs
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17/08/2009 - 162 (+1LBS) another 1 on, here we go again.
19/08/2009 - 162.2 (0.2LB)
21/08/2009 - 162.0 (-2.2)
22/08/2009 - 161(-1LB)

Ok so I stayed the same this week but would have lost had I not been an out and out pig this week, my stomach knows about not eating well too. Still working on striking up the resolve. 161lbs it is then and in 3 months Im not too chuffed that Ive lost only 8lbs I could have done better regardless of how positive this is. I must try harder and stop arsing around.
 
WEEK 13 - 16/08/09-22/08/09 (WEEK 12 ENDED 161) + 3.2lbs
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17/08/2009 - 162 (+1LBS) another 1 on, here we go again.
19/08/2009 - 162.2 (0.2LB)
21/08/2009 - 162.0 (-2.2)
22/08/2009 - 161(-1LB)
25/08/2009 - 162.4 (+1.4)

Another crap day yesterda, woke with acid indigestion again and its doing my head in not being able to find that umphhhhhhhhhhhhh to get back on track. Not even lost half a stone in 3 months, well I did I lost a stone but then in my usual style banged it all back on.
 
WEEK 14 - 23/8/09 - 29/8/09 (WEEK 13 ENDED 161 STUCK)


25/08/2009 - 162.4 (+1.4)
28/08/2009 - 164.2 ( +1.8)

Ok, I do not know what the score is really with this not keeping on track, I joined here over 3 months ago, managed to lose 14lbs and managed to put some back on. I have lost around 5lbs in total which even with my maths I kind of know thats not right. I have been very worried and physically in a lot of pain due to an injury/possible health problem.

I realise sitting on my arse, moaning, moping and generally eating crisp and chocolate all day is doing absolutely zilch for this issue, I wake with acid indigestion and things are going from bad to worse. Time to kick back.

I love the gym, I love the time away from family and doing something good for me but the gym I go to is a way away and for one reason or another, I just cannot make many sessions there. Not good when you want regular exercise, with music in a safe environment. I have for this reason taken the decision to cancel it. I have instead re-joined a fantastic very local gym at an amazing price, its open very early and 7 days a week and I can nip no end incorporated with my local food shopping too, great.

I am moving my fat arse in a moment and starting the day in a positive manner which includes a banana to get me going, a large bottle of water and raring to go. I realise this pain I have will not go away until I do something about my general health and fitness, chicken and egg scenario or what. So on that note, I shall shift myself and get moving. I have more hope and I will get this weight off, I know I can do that, its just keeping the motivation high that I need to work on. I cant believe I dont stick to healthy eating as eating crap does absolutely nothing for my general moods either.
 
Terrific attitude!

I hope your health issue is not serious?

A local gym is always a good thing. I actually go to 2 of them. One at my school, and one paid for membership for the days when the school gym is not open.

Motivation is the issue regardless of how far away they are though and it sounds liek you have just turned that on very nicely.
 
WEEK 14 - 23/8/09 - 29/8/09 (WEEK 13 ENDED 161 STUCK)
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25/08/2009 - 162.4 (+1.4)
28/08/2009 - 164.2 (+1.8)
29/08/2009 - 161.6 (-2.6)

Thanks a lot Karl, I am not no matter what going to give up on this, I hate being over weight as it has all kinds of effects on my general every day feeling, even as far as how I dress. Really winds me up.

Anyhow, what a great start yesterday down the gym, loved it, the music the feel good factor and it felt good to stay on track all day with a little treat. Going later on too and going to go not within strict limits, just when I can and as often as long as I'm enjoying it.

The health issue may or may not be serious, I am not too sure yet, it sure as hell has felt like it these past few months but exercise and losing the 14lbs or so really did help when I first joined.

Just got to keep on going. Been told time will tell, even so the best thing for it is to lose the weight and take it from there. A lot of people say to me I do not look too overweight but I am 22lbs heavier than last summer and around 40lbs heavier than 10 years ago and boy do my bones and joints know about it, along with my moods. Each persons reasons for losing the weight are very personal and as important as each others.

Hope you are ok buddy and the bike scenario has all been sorted and thanks for your continued support. Lovely and sunny here in my part of England.
 
WEEK 14 - 23/8/09 - 29/8/09 (WEEK 13 ENDED 161 STUCK)
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25/08/2009 - 162.4 (+1.4)
27/08/2009 - 164.2 (+1.8)
29/08/2009 - 161.6 (-2.6)
30/08/2009 - 162.2 (+0.6)

WEEK 15 - 30/08/2009-05/09/2009 (week 14 ended 161.6 +0.6lbs)
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Im ok with this gain considering I gained more and lost within the week. At least my head is in a better place, gona really get stuck into burning calories this week.
 
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WEEK 15 - 30/08/2009-05/09/2009 (week 14 ended 161.6 +0.6lbs)
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05/09/2009 - 161.6 (SO WHOLE WEEK AND STUCK)



WEEK 16 - 06/09/09-12/09/2009 (week 15 ended 161.0 - stuck)
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Sticking is better than gaining but clearly I still have my head not in the right place, still here still trying. See what this week brings.
 
WEEK 16 - 06/09/09-12/09/2009 (week 15 ended 161.0 - stuck)
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06/09/2009 - 163lbs (+2)

Put 2 lbs on but had a day at the coast yesterday, fish and chips and treats etc had a fab day so not going to feel so bad. Have been getting myself in gear to get the weight off hopefully a good lot of it by Christmas, its this time last year when work changed that my habits started badly again, been on a slippery slope since then.

I am taking the simple steps (again) of recording in my little black book what I eat so I have it in my head what I am doing, or else Im a bit of a free for all, little control once I start. Bad girl.

If I could get to 150lbs to start with (achievable as Ive done 154 lately) I will feel there is hope for the 140 mark. Going down the gym later to get this body going and toned back to its wonders.

:Went down the gym and really enjoyed it, done ok with food today, really helps to make a note for me and get going early with the motivation. Planning on the gym at 6am before work for a session, just working on calorie burning at the moment before my legs and joints feel strong enough to take some weights etc. Using the elliptical trainer really works with my body as an all over workout, love it.
 
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Sunny Monday Morning and been down the gym, it was great only did half an hour or so of calorie burning, not weighing myself until Saturday. Good start to the day, all food prepared too which is amazing considering its only 07.40am (did it last night cheated) either way, better prepared and knowing whats up for grabs for the day. Now gota do a full day at work and walking each way 25 minutes so thats good too.

Hope everyone is ok.
 
Thanks for saying hi Karl

Wish I had more time to devote to this or should I say more motivation, I just don't get why I gorge on the wrong food and then have to cut things out to get by and lose weight. Why am I such an all nothing kind of gal, really pisses me off.

Anyhow, ain't giving in just need some time to get head around stuff.

Hope you are ok matey.
 
Right, Ive got my head out of my a**e and trying again, went back to a slimming class which I lost all my weight with ( and gained it after as I didn't maintain or control my eating, my fault entirely). Thought I would give it another go and come here as and when I can to write what I am doing down, I feel it may help, I like this site.

I weighed 168.5lbs when I went, granted it was evening and I had clothes on but I shall record my weight here each Thursday evening if I stick with it.

I really would love to be 140-147lbs which is not a light weight by any means but I do work out and keep fit so I always feel ok if I am at this weight and a trim figure.

So trying again.

THURSDAY 24/9/09 - 168.5lbs.
 
Good to see you back! I'm a little slow on the draw, not aroun dmuch on Saturday/sunday so I didn't see you around.

I'm here though if you need an accountability friend.
 
Just got weighed which I haven't done for some time, been burying my head, still in a bit of pain, still trying to change hours at work, still still still, all issues which effect me emotionally, all excuses, all reasons, no actually all excuses, I am a nightmare for saying, I shall do it later, I shall build up the resolve etc etc etc.

I know I don't use this forum enough but with one thing and another that has happened over the past year and a half, working full time, having 2 little nippers, no childcare, ships that pass in the night, the usual list goes on, I just havent had the full on time to commit to this forum too.

I just need to commit to myself first and foremost and step up the usage of the gym and believe in myself more. Should all change when partner changes his hours etc, things should fall into place and I should have the car a lot more.

All excuses but lots of us have things to bear in life which restrict us and any kind of addiction/problem comes with a list of excuses or we wouldn't be here.

Right so I have lost several pounds without even realise it and when i went to bed last night, I did think I felt a bit slimmer so I am quietly pleased with that. Sill a fair way to go but Im here and still not given up, just wish I could work out why a normal 3 x portions of healthy food a day a couple of treats etc is simply not enough, why do I eat a full packet of biscuits and disregard the healthy stuff. It never used to be this bad.

06/10/2010 - 160.2lbs (loss of 8.3lbs) in a couple of weeks so that first week at the slimming class (when I was good) paid off but immediately I thought sod it, done it before cant be arsed with this, no time etc etc the usual.

I am a pretty organised, level headed and fit person (considering) with will of steel so I just don't get why I lack motivation, need to work on this more or just stop working it out and go for the loss. Its keeping the weight off that is key once I lose it so need to learn any new tips etc etc.

Thats my rant for the week over.
 
I think (but not so sure) that when I have regimented eating ideas, things go a bit pear shaped, I seemed to do really well and then it all blows up, maybe put too much pressure on myself. Its worked massively in other areas of my life so I generally apply it to most things.

I love food and I dont just mean greed, I love nice meals out, enjoy my food but my portion sizes and tendency to go off the boil are my main problems. Organisation is the key and yesterday it was agreed that my hours at work could drop, heaven so the stress on home life will be off somewhat in a month or so. Bloody fantastic, a weight lifted.

Today, I am simply going to eat 3 normal size meals and take fruit to work, a small start and this evening I shall try for the gym as its open until ten, no excuses is there and i have the car.

Will report how it went in the morning. Small steps etc.
 
06/10/2009 - 160.2lbs
15/10/2009 - 164.0lbs (+3.8) doing well then.

So that is around 17lbs I still would love to lose and maybe a bit more.

I am definately going to do it no matter what. We shall see what the next weigh in brings, I am on a mission still.
 
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