So recap of my thoughts while running are here!:
Start Line: I was stretching a little bit worried about the tendon on the bottom of the foot that sometimes feels like a rubber band which has been stretched too far and ready to break, so to prevent that I tried doing more of those stretches concentrated in that area. I was hoping at least! I was happy at the excitement and the tons of people cheering and all!! YAY!!!
Mile 1-6: OH MY GOSHHHHHH!!!...My freaking TENDON on the bottom of my right foot....was going horrible!!!
All I could think about was, WTF how could this happen,...it felt like it was ready to rip, and I had to put more pressure on my left foot so that I wouldn't land like crazy on my right foot!...When this has happened in the past, the farthest I'm able to go is like 5-6 miles MAX and I'm done!...I was trying my best not to think about it, but I could see all these runners zooming by me,..and thoughts of not finishing were creeping all over my mind, and sadness and fear were crawling in thinking those thoughts.
Mile 6: I see my mom and my step dad and my 4 year old brother on the side lines by one of the bands...and I ran up to her cause she didn't see me...and my mom...BOOKED IT RUNNING with a sprint...hahah...I've never seen her sprint like that...and she rannnnnn way in front of me to get some good shots of me running. Then...she did it again...SPRINTTTTT...hahah..and she went even further to catch some more shots of me...yelling at me "COME ON BABY...!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!"
! Funny shit!!!....At that moment, I DECIDED...I AM FINISHING THIS SHIT...NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!! How could I let them and MYSELF down...I can't !...I have to!!!!....
Mile 7: Decision took over...and the pain on my foot was GONE! Mind over matter!
Mile 8-11: It was a lovely lovely beach side run here, where the sea gulls were flying SUPER high and the weather has been amazing and cloudy and breezy! Couldn't have asked for better! Really really lucky..no sun!
!...I had some electrolyte jelly beans that I had in my belt pockets and had some water and felt good. My stomach was feeling no acid, my mind was on lock, and I wasn't really enjoying the fact that they mark out each and every mile, cause it makes your course seem THAT MUCH LONGER especially if you haven't run it before cause your mind plays tricks on you and makes you think it's longer than it really is. There was music at most of the stops of water, though I generally didn't stop because I had my water belt. I was happy and tranquil at this point, thinking of God and how thankful I am...that
"HE WAS DOING THIS RUN FOR ME & THAT HE DESERVES THAT METAL!"...just makes running that much easier when we realize that we can do things, but that we aren't the ones doing it.
Mile 8-11: I loved seeing all the shirts of people with God quotes on the back of their shirts, and making me realize that GOD works through
many of us. There were people with pictures of people that they have lost to many illnesses and that inspired me more. I would actually tell myself in my mind,...."Alta, you are doing this for your health, your healing, your gratitude towards God, and for your family's health, you bf's health, and for my friend Cristina's bf, who's mom was just diagnosed with Terminal Cancer and is given 18 months more to live. She was in tears days ago. I offered my run to God for her as well, for her ailment and to prolong her life some. I felt grateful, and happy that I
do have my mom still,...and I appreciate the hell out of her! 
!...At times I would get emotional in my mind just thinking how hard that predicament would be to not have her..and that I am so happppppppy that she got to see me do this in her life time!!! I truly am! You should have seen the joy and happiness on her face when she saw me. It was then that I knew and made that decision...I AM A FINISHER!!!!!!!!
Mile 12: This is where things got hard. The crowd BREAKS INTO 2 here,...the 1/2 marathoners & the FULL Marathoners. They break the road into two, 1/2ers to the left and Marathoners to the right. It was difficult because yes, I was getting somewhat tired by now, more so because I had never run the course and didn't know where I was going, and when I saw 90% of the runners, break to the left it made me GULP and SWALLOW like crazy....as I veered to the right. It just dawned on me at that moment, that
FAKKKKK, while they only have one mile and some change to go, I am going to go do a WHOLE one more race that they are just about to COMPLETE!....I wanted to be finished at that moment too. I could overhear the excitement of all those people who were about to finish and their conversations, and I was feeling scarred and dreadful of this new course. I veered to the right, by myself it seemed!....A few blocks into it....I see these runners on the left hand side of the road of me...and I see a sign that says
MILE 23. 
...That meant ..that in the farrrrr distance, what seemed to be people turning a loop and coming on the left hand side of the road had to be BULLSHIT....cause the numbers didn't add up. How could I be at mile 12 and I could see the end of the loop far ahead and turn around and it be mile 23?!?!
IT COULDN'T. I was going wayyyyy farther than what I could see, and that shit was like ugggg...cause now there were runners but spread out mighty far and wide.
Mile 15: "How the hell can I ONLY be at mile 15?!?!!"
This is INSANE!...Each and every mile, felt like 2 miles. When I would think to myself, oh this has to be one mile already,...nope...not even close. Then ...far in the distance I would see the next mile breaker!...Fakkkkk....Still?!?! ...I was feeling it in my ankles already. They were heavy and sore and THANK GOD, for the sidelines here and there with little medical aide people that would SPRAY YOUR LEGS w/ BENGAY spray that would rejuvenate my shins, knees, and MAINLY ANKLES`!
...After the spray was a little bit of heaven as the cold fresh air would hit it, and I felt I could go on just a bit further. At this point, since I'm used to running with someone for my long runs, I was getting mentally bored. No music, no partner, the stands were spreading out further and further, and the cheering people on the sidelines less and less as the course progressed. I ate some Goupe and Electrolytes. Got some more energy.
Mile 17: I was Sore as hell at this point. I found my Nano w/ music in my belt, and was happy and I put it on. At this point I text a couple people every now and then since I had my skinny phone in my pocket of my water belt, and would write MINIMAL slim to none... mile 17 tired & sore. And then I was LUCKY and I would see some texts come in when I would check like every 5 miles,...and that would keep me going too when they would just tell me how proud of me they were and I was so close and YAY!!! I could do this! I could!...Walking is out of the question! I am a runner, I am not a walker!" ...Though the SPEED walkers I saw blew my freaking mind away. Some walk faster than I run. Mind you ,
I do run slow! hahah!!! BUT I RUN dammit! I couldn't stop thinking that ..."OMG..mile 20 is almost here, and that's the furthest I have everrrrrr run!" I couldn't wait to get there. At mile 17, I still felt like I was only half way.
Mile 18, 19: The waiting and anticipation to get to the 20, is longggggg...the miles seem to be going slower and slower. I couldn't stop thinking how when this is over, I will have run 46.25 miles in ONE WEEK, in 2 days!! WTF?! Who does that?!?! ....I was starting to question whether it was a really bad idea to run the 20 miles on the Monday that just past, in the same week. My ankles hurt, and my ass and thighs are Pounding!...Buns of Steel or steel hitting my buns?! Couldn't quite make out the difference. Hahah!
Mile 20: FINALLLLLLLY!!!...Omg...I'm HERE!!! The furthest I have ever run!!!...
A lump came to my throat and I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe it. FUCKN 20 miles!?!?! How did I get here?! I was just at mile 1 it seemed like not that long ago! ...Mile by mile is how I got here. Thinking about the whole thing at once, it TORTURE...and you will not ever complete it like that. Mile by mile is how I got here. Telling myself that I came to run only 1 mile. I'll go for 1 more. Sure, another one, why not?!...Mile by mile. Step by step. Just keep going, the rest will follow!
I had to change my thinking here, the emotions were overwhelming me...I got a big lump in my throat and couldn't breath. Walked for a minute, re adjust my thoughts to "THIS IS MILE 1"..."NOTHING TO GET EMOTIONAL ABOUT!"....6 miles to go. You have done 6 miles in your sleep. Come on!!! The lump went away after like 15 steps, and back to running it was!!!
Sent my grandma a text
"Passing mile 20! Ahhhhhhhhhhh"....She text back, I'm SO PROUD OF YOU BABY!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! KEEP GOING!"
I was needing a back crack bad yesterday from so much lower back tension, and he said, "oh you want a crack?! I can do that! Turn around, arms crossed on chest, take a deep breath, let it out"..then he stepped behind me and hugged me from the back onto my twisted arms and lifted me off the floor like I was a FEATHER!!! 
hahah! If you know what I mean.. 
with everything Derrick said! Have a great weekend Alta! You deserve it!
! I am already holding empowering classes every 6 weeks, but I want to do it OFTEN! Maybe once a week to start! 