Changing the way i feel

Where the hell are you my deary? GET ON HERE!!!!!

Maybe all that food has just evaporated out of your pores? :)

I'm so happy that your mind has been put to rest that your husband isn't up to anything naughty. Once a seed has been planted it can grow and grow, I am glad for you that she didn't look like a model.

Oh dear, your son loves his poo! Just remember, its only a phase, this too shall pass! x
 
i am still here,,,,i havent been a good girl ladies....I havent put on weight but i must get my act together.
These last couple of days we've been at my mother in laws home and i eat what she serverd......So ...today is my last bad day,its my birthday.Gosh im actually 30!!!!We went shopping all morning with my husband and boy and i bought 3 lovely dresses.!!!Well the dress im wearing at the party tonight is really plain its a short black but it fits really nice!I was so happy i tryied on clothes without asking for an XXL!!!A large fited fine!!!!
So my boy is staying at my motherin laws tonight , im a bit sad i have to leave him....
I m going to start to get ready and i ll be back tomorow people!!!
 
Thanks so much guys!!!

So we had a great time yesterday.The best part was that this guy friend i hadnt seen in a few months came and asked me
"So tell me is there a difference in eating 32 or 33 stipes of spaggetti?" in a joking way!
i said oh no did my husband actually tell you what i did?
and he said that he ASKED my husband if i am on a diet cause i look great, and wanted to know if i was on a strict diet or just taking a little care,and my husband told him i was serious about this,i even counted my spaggetti!!!

So i was really pleased.It wasnt just a compliment to me,he asked my husband without my knowing so its TRUE!!!Felt great.He told me many times through the night to keep doing what i am doing cause i look great!

Then a girl i know and havent seen for a while said the same thing to me!!!

And a lady too said i look fantastic and started to chat with me desperate for diet tips,how did i manage to loose so much weight and tell her my secret so she could loose some as well!!!!!

So i went on my scale s now i have put on 1 kg but im ok not mad or anything.I know that i havent been eating good these last days , but today i am back on track!Happy to say i feel great about myself.!

We took a bunch of pics and i liked them all.The ones i didnt fancy very much was cause of my face expression NOT my body!!!!!
I want to thank all you for helping me coming this far and suoporting me through this.I dont know if i would have taken this so serious if it wasnt for you!!!
 
How Awesome sweetie!!!!
I am so glad you had a great time and got all those compliments, i bet that really gave you a massive confidence boost!!!
I am so pleased for you hun, especially cos of the difference you have made in my life. I am so pleased that this forum has done that for you too.

Big hug hun, well done. XXXX
 
Glad you had a brilliant time on your birthday :D

I am SO happy you got so many compliments, your glowing with them :) I am loving your fizzy happiness, and you should be so proud of yourself!

Sod the kilo weight gain, you are back here and on fire with the heat of all that admiration :D

Your flirty thities are gonna be slim and fantastic.
 
the compliment sure made me happy!!!i havent got compliments for years!the only thing i heard was "you need to loose some weight" or "you need to start a little diet"

SO yesterday was my back on track day!

BR Coffee
Lunch A plate of lentiles
Early Evening COffee and diet coke
DInner tomatoe and onion salad with some feta cheese and 3 little toasts.

It is sooo damn easy to get back to bad eating..you do it for a couple of days and then i get to wonder "how thw hell did i eat alll those diet things these months???" Screw the fatty food IT IS JUST FOOD..................

In my bad days i only had a piece of my bday cake no chocolates or anything like that.
My bad food was mostly 2 cheese pies from the bakers..the buttery crusty pastry!!!
A hot dog.And i also ate bread with my food.
So the damage isnt big cause in my freedom! i still took a little care!!!
85,5 today ..keep on going!
 
Im back again with my food for the day

BR Coffee
Lunch 2 egg omellette with corn and 2 toast
Snack Diet yoghurt 3 toast with cream cheese
Dinner Lettuce,onion,carrot salad with some dressing


When i say toast i dont mean toasted bread as most people know.I dont know what to call them.I have posted pics of them in the early pages.


So ive done ok im really itred , i did a lot of cleaning actually i only sat down for about 1 hour all day....

A!i am waiting for my ebay dresses.I bought the sequin dress size 10, a bodycon dress size 10! and a pretty little strapless flower dress size 12!
I really have my hopes up dont i????!!!!
Off to read your journals
 
Im back again with my food for the day

BR Coffee
Lunch 2 egg omellette with corn and 2 toast
Snack Diet yoghurt 3 toast with cream cheese
Dinner Lettuce,onion,carrot salad with some dressing


When i say toast i dont mean toasted bread as most people know.I dont know what to call them.I have posted pics of them in the early pages.


So ive done ok im really itred , i did a lot of cleaning actually i only sat down for about 1 hour all day....

A!i am waiting for my ebay dresses.I bought the sequin dress size 10, a bodycon dress size 10! and a pretty little strapless flower dress size 12!
I really have my hopes up dont i????!!!!
Off to read your journals

:) :) I am so hopeful for your dresses too...you know when one of us does well....its means the rest of us get a little boost too...so I am so in for those dresses fitting properly!! :):)
 
I know what you mean!!!!i was waiting for rainbows sequin dress to arrive so i could take a look at the pics!!!It just gives me such a boost as well!!
i also just get so happy to see progress photos!!!like yours it really makes me SEE that this is happening for all of us!
 
It was a really hungry day.I dont know why cause i had a late lunch...and it was filling.Anyway

BR Coffee
Lunch Cooked cabbage w/ rice
Snack 1 toast w/cr.cheese,1 coffee,1 diet coke,1 slice of edam cheese
Dinner Nothing im going to have some raw carrots

I think im loosing my motivation...i dont feel determined as before.Its like it is ok to eat a cheese sadwich at 1 am,or its ok to gobble down a slice of cheese...It wanst ok before though so whats is happening?
I think i am reaching the point where im feeling comfortable with myself and this is when i usually stop my diet.
ITs when i feel ugly and fat i start to take care then off go the pounds and i think im ok and stop.
I know i am NOT slim yet and to be slim i must loose more weight.So why is the comfortable feeling just taking over?
I dont want to stop, i want to loose more weight and there is a lot of it to come of still
I think i have to recall that night out a few months ago that made me want to loose weihgt.Ill try to bring it to my mind before going to sleep,and play it over and over!
 
I totally agree with you, it is so easy to go back to your old habits after one day of screwing up, I was exactly the same after my birthday a couple of months ago. Actually, I am the same now after just a few hours of screwing up yesterday afternoon. I have been so hungry today, probably will be tomorrow as well. In a day or two we'll feel fine again, and our appetite will have gone down a bit.

Three dresses? Woohoooo! I just went and tried on my sequin dress again, and it does up a teensy bit higher already!!!!!! I would LOVE to wear that dress to the Notting Hill carnival (Londons answer to the mardi gras lol) which is in three and a half weeks. Don't think I'll get there, but.... you never know! If it doesn't fit me the next time I go out, it definitely will the time after that (I only get hugely drunk once a month) :D

Eerika is feeling like you as well, and so is Fleur, and me. I think its normal to lose some of the enthusiasm you had at the beginning, specially when you are looking at your body, and are no longer disgusted with what you see. What I sometimes do is imagine if the house caught fire at night and I had no time to put clothes on (as I sleep naked :)), would I be ashamed showing my naked body to the fire fighters and the crowds of gathering neighbours? Just the thought makes me horrified really. Maybe you could think of a scenario a bit like that rather than replaying horrible memories again and again in your head. I have a few awful memories that are like flashbacks, and its no good at all to go over negative things again and again x
 
So you think that my desire of food today is because of my days i took of my diet?Its like food is some kind of drug...get a little tast and zoom you're on your knees screaming out for more!

Well you;re right about the memories!Its the bad feelings i had,if i try a little it will come right back...im really desperate to hold on.Jesus if taking a couple of days of my diet is making me hungry and not motivated screw it!i wont be doing that again...that is if i get past this phase.
I am glad in a nice way though!that others are feeling similar,it makes me feel im not alone tonight!
I feel like invading my fridge..Dont worry i ll only take a couple of more carrots out!

I hope you get into that shiny dress ofyours.As you said if not in 3 weeks then for sure on your next outing!
what is Notting Hill carnival?Well i know notting hill is a place in uk and the carnival is when you dress up as characters?or is it like a fair with candy and pop corn?
I ve got this lovely image in my head right now saying that!I think ill google it!
 
Yep. Food is just like a drug. I have been fantasising about chocolate all night, god, I am SO hungry!!!! I just ate two apples, which filled me up a bit, but I'm desperate for a sandwich or something. ANYTHING!!!! Its 12 here now, so I'm gonna go to bed and wallow in my hungriness lol.

I say that every time I binge, I keep on doing it again tho every now and then! Its more important to be strong in our weak moments. We will do it. You will get past this. Tomorrow is a shiny new day, and if you decide its going to be a good day, it will be. Right now, you have decided to at carrots, not binge, so your mind is in the right place. Your stomach will follow, and soon it won't have the hungries :) x

This is a good site about the notting hill carnival
Its absolutely huge, there is just a sea of people. Over a million people go every year, and it takes over a massive area of hundreds of streets. There are a lot of steel drums, and a parade with dancing, and feathers etc... There are hundreds of stands playing music and mc-ing. It smells of jamaican spices, and there is such a great vibe. Last year there was a rave on the tube platform on the way home. People were honking there horns in a house music beat, and playing the drums on the walls. Everyone was cheering and dancing (at least 300 people on a long thin platform), we were taking it in turns to do the limbo under someones outstretched coat. Everyone cheered and earblasting cheer when the train came, it was packed, and at every station along the way the train full of people cheered and whooped. It was a great day and night :D Can't WAIT to go again.
 
Yep. Food is just like a drug. I have been fantasising about chocolate all night, god, I am SO hungry!!!! I just ate two apples, which filled me up a bit, but I'm desperate for a sandwich or something. ANYTHING!!!! Its 12 here now, so I'm gonna go to bed and wallow in my hungriness lol.

I was always proud that I never had any real vices...but I guess I really did/do have the biggest vice when it all boils down to it...FOOD!! Its worse that drugs...booze...cigs...gambling...We need it to survive but it can kill us too!!

So you think that my desire of food today is because of my days i took of my diet?Its like food is some kind of drug...get a little tast and zoom you're on your knees screaming out for more!

O jasper its so true..I can actually eat less and fell more in control and less hungry...when I eat in my high ranges of 1550 to 1700 (Zumba days)...I start to get this crazy appetite and I just want to eat more...if I am having a rest day and am only eating 1200'ish calories..I am ok!! What a pain in the arse!! haha
 
ok im back to where i was 84,7.

I had my carrot last night but i couldnt sleep from hunger so i ate 2 toasts as well
Today im having cabage again w/ rice i made a pot and m the only one tha ate yesterday.Guess if no one eats again ill be having that for the rest of the week!

My husband has taken my car (I H|ATE| I|T WH|EN HE DOES THAT>>>>>>>>) so ill be going of to the bank w.my little on by FOOT....in the heat...with NO PRAM...he just spilled all the ice i gave him on the floor cause i didnt give him SUGAR!!! IN THE ICE...where does he get these ideas???so hes crying cause his in naughty corner,,,,,oh gosh....i must be CALM!!!!
 
well here are a couple of me.
look at the one that im holding a cigratte....(not very pretty...) look at my arm on the side.I hate my fat arms....Hopfully soon ill have more pics of me sitting and my arms will be slim!!!

I hate them...as wel as my bum...its just horrible.Its wide and flat...i take after my mum and my sisters...
 
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