Changing the Way I Feel and Eat!!!

AJust checking in...how is your little guy feeling? Did you get to run recently? and I think that dress is super sassy...and I am totally jealous of your back so toned and flat! and I agree with everyone you have lovely shinny hair!! looks so healthy. Hope all is well...hugs dear!!
 
Hello ladies!

i have been reading keeping up to date with your journa;s i havent cmmented though , i have been really tired i just wanted to read your news see how you are doing and off to bed.It is 3 am here....and i have been up from 6 am YESTERDAY!~~~~!!!!!another 3 hours and i'll be 24 hours awake...

I went for my runagain yesterday.Took G's ne[hew with and mario.It was fun,seeing the little one running and laughing at the same time!!!!I managed 30 minutes again but slower this time.

Aw i didnt have a good eating day today but im ok with it not going to start saying bad things about myself~~~~~~


I went and bought a couple of pairs running pants and a couple of t-shirts a s well cause the weather is getting hotter now.Ifelt really good in them.My legs feel a lot stronger and slimmer, i know i probably look the same but i FEEL better!!!!thats e\what really counts isnt it?


Asilly thing happened yesterday and i really got me down.Really made me understand how INSECURE i really am,and how much i cover it all up infront of my family and friends.

I went to get a coke from a store close by my home the owner know me cause i always go there for small stuff like cold drinks and beers.We where speaking about things and i said to him in a joking way "well of course G is always tired ,more than me , its the age you see!" he asked me how old is G i said 44 and i am much younger,and the man was AMAZED!!!he said " how much younger are you?" i said im nearlly 31 and he couldnt belive it!!!!He said he always thought i was 37-38 and didnt belive i am 30........................Then he saw that i was a bit akward feeling and said he was joking but he wasnt.....I mean the look on his face was incredible!!!!!!!!!!!like i said to him that i am 15 years old!!!HE was absolutly stunned and i really felt shit after that.I was thinking all night that i look older than i am ,even though i try take care of my skin,i was looking at my self in the ,miror trying to figure out why i look older than i am.....Then i really felt so bad i decided i wll STOP it cause it was making really depressed.I did think of it today again and i told my sister about it but then i started feeling depressed again and i stopped thinking of it.

Its not that 37 or 38 is old.Its that i am still 30 and i would like to look my age or even better younger.I am so scared of age, its a fear of mine that has only now developed.I was never scared of age.Thing is that after loosing 20 kilos my face HAS slimmed down and my expresion lines ARE more noticible.Specially round my mouth , you know the lines make from smiling.I obsses over that a lot. i look at myself and i really hate those lines/So yeap i got to see how insecure i am for allowing a nearlly strangers silly opinion about my age effect me so much....i also saw that i pretend to be STRONG and dont give a care in the world , in front of my family.They rally dont know me cause i always pretend to be so strong!!!I


So now i said i wouldnt be long on here , i really want to go to sleep@@@@@@

Tommorow my sister is coming over.I willgo to the stadium when i wake up with my new clothes!!!!and i wll weigh ,,,not hoping for much since my week wasnt a diet week.Probably a damage control week!!!!!But anyway i am going to step on the scales and come on here to tell you about it!

Love to all you ladies!!!!
 
AAwe....sorry the store clerk was a jackass!! People should never comment on a persons age in a negative way...even joking!! I want to fly over there and kick his butt!!!

I think you are lovely and you look your age to late twenties!! not late 30's...ugh I can't tell you how mad I am for you....I understand how fragile our confidence is...we are slowing building it up and all it takes is a jerk like that to throw it off a bit.

ok off my rant!!

Hope you enjoy your new running clothes....you deserve them...enjoy!!! XOXOX
 
thanks tete!Im really not going to going to shop there anymore.I think it was really bad manners of him.Even if i was 90 years old he shouldnt made those faces.


I just woke up its 11am and im having coffee/I did weigh and im 80.5~~~~???so how is that possible i gained 2 kg in a couple of days?just thinking its fluid ...im ok though.Im off to go running after i have coffee then when i come home i have SO MANY CLOTHES TO

IRON>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:cuss::banghead:
 
Snap! Sweetie it seems that you, Kate & I have gained! It's not us, it's the universe!! Seriously though we'll be right! That guy was a tosser & if I would you, not only would I not shop there any more, but I would go in & tell him why. Lots of love xoxo Cate
 
AHeya Sweetie :)

I've been so busy, sorry. Again i have lots to catch up on.

I'm loving how great you felt about your run :hurray: I know what you mean about thinking it must be wrong but it really does go like that sometimes. Do you remember me saying that sometimes a run is really hard work for no reason at all but there will be times when your body does great....well, this is one of those times. When i did my 10 mile run i didn't think about what speed i could do, i just wanted to reach 10 miles but when i finished it said that i did 10 min miles!!! I couldn't believe it and thought somethng was wrong. I am so so proud of you my lovely.......6 miles!!!!!!! :hurray: :hurray: That's is so awesome :)

I totally agree with Cate.....You really do need to look at the good in yourself, you are a stunning woman sweetie Start believing it!!
You said that you feel good in your new running gear and that your legs feel alot slimmer and stronger.....Then you said, 'i probably look the same but feel better' Not good enough!!!! You dont need to say i probably look the same....that's still putting yourself down. If you feel slimmer and stronger Then you are!!!! You are allowed to say nice things about yourself hun :)

Regarding the guy in the shop.......You do not look 37-38 i don't know what the fuck he is talking about!!!!!! Dickhead! I do wonder if he just assumed that you were older cos you are married to a much older guy and that you just look great, men being men would not have figured out how to explain that. Seriously you do not look that old hun. Kate says so!!!!!
Don't stress about looking old sweetie, think about me, i'm pushing 40 and really am starting to look old. it does come to us eventually and we need to embrace it :) You will also learn to be happier withyourself as you get older, i have found that. I have prefered my 30's over being in my 20's without a doubt!

Don't worry about the gain, we were starting from todays weight anyway as we have all three been i little bit (well a lot in my case lol) rubbish. We will all have an awesome week :)

Love and hugs sweetie Xxx
 
Cate!!!THE UNIVERSE!!!!!You made me laugh!!!!!!!Yes i think its something in the air definatly NOT our fault!!!!!


Kate!!!I dont think im doing 6 miles again,well not soon anyway!!!I really still think something went wrong on my phone!!!!!


thanks Tete!I had my new colthes on today i didnt even wash them from the store :blush5: and i had them on all day...even after my run....:blush5:feeling very ahtletic in them!!!!


I am not going to go on thinking about my age and that idiot,he has made me feel real bad for many days and its over.I will try my best to not allow myseld to feel like that anymore,specially form a stranger.....:mad:



Went for my run this morning and i did well!i did 32 minutes today instead of usual 30 minutes.Also i burnt 650 cals cause i was running faster that usual.While running i kept having this sentence in mind\


If it doesnt challenge you it doesnt change you...........


So i really made an effort to run faster!!!!Loved it that i burnt more cals.I know its not the exact cals burnt just estimate but still its more than yesterdays run!

It was really hot though ,so i m wondering what will i be doing in summer?Guess running at night time will do not under the sun like today!!!!


I had one big main meal today so im feeling really bloated.My sister came over today and she cooked so i didnt have anything all day cause i know that i would be eating a few cals woth her cooking.But not a good idea cause i said my tummy is so swollen.


Hoping for a good week!!!!ISchool is starting tommorow so im off to bed cause we are getting up early!!!old good routine!!!!
 
Hi Jess! I'm glad I made you laugh! Well done on your running! Your clothes sound really good. I need some more exercise clothes as mine are raggedy & uninspiring! Life does seem easier when we have routine & hopefully things will get back into sync with us all soon. Lots of love to you sweetie, xoxo Cate
 
Ah!

I have had beans today,in the oven with parsley and tomatoes ,lovely dish but SO BLOATE AGAIN!

I didnt ever eat beans the only thing i did eat was lentiles, but im trying to make better food for my little one so beans are in the menu now and i actually really like them.

oh well besides that notyhing naughty today.Im feeling really tired these days , i need to get back in my routine and im finding it difficult.


I must confess i am thinking of food all day long.....I kept thinking today of what Cate wrote on KAtes diary that a bad food day was an everyday thing for us before,and i was thinking that my BAD days are far more than my GOOD days.

On the 2nd of May (if im not mistaken) is my 1 year anniversary of trying to change my body and the way i feel about myself.I try to remember me , at 100 kilos last year , and try to keep in mind that getting to be that person again will need many bad food days,and that scares me bit....it scares me that there is a possibility of me returning to my old self.I know i must say that i will not,i will not here i said it,i will not be that person again but that means i must get my act together.

I would have never tryed for so long to loose weight ,and even more important i would never KEEP trying after failing and after putting a few kilos back on....i would have gone back to my old lifestyle without a second thought...i have al you to thank for keeping me here,fighting through this,good and bad.I really want to say THANK YOU!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:




I havent gone for my run 2 days in a row.I am going tommorow evening.I love running,even though its difficult sometimes.

DO you think that running for 30 minutes 4 times a week is enough exercise?i dont.I mean ok i do arm weights and crunches but i think i need to add more calorie burning exercise in.What do you think?
 
Jess, You won't give up I know & the good days will gradually take over the bad days. Be strong sweetie. I know you can do it & I think you are starting to know it too. I think 30mins running 4 days a week is excellent exercise as you are also a Mum & would do lots of incidental exercise, without really thinking about it. An idea would be to go for a walk on your non-running days if you want to up it just a little. I think you're doing really well sweetie. Eat more fruit & vegetables & move away from the foods that make you feel bad & before you know it the bad days will be a distant memory. Lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
i have had a goodday today and im really happy about it/.

I have eaten what is in the pics plus


4 tiny jelly bears and 2 coffees.


My treat was pic 3 some fruit sorbet.No milk or anything just frozen fruit juices and some pieces of cheries in

first i was SO tempted to eat rubish after my run cause i was starving but i said No andmanaged to eat a very yummy salad with a can of tuna in!It was so delicious!!!

Second i went for my run managed 33 minutes today.Faster than my usual!i was going at 13,5 km per hour.burnt 600 cals(578)THird but not least~~~~I parked today by the metro station to go in to athens since i cant go with the car to the center on odd numbered days.So the station is right next to my old gym i went too in 2009.I stopped looked and just went in!It is a huge gym and the feeling of it been so familiar warmed me up!Sounds strange i know.I asked the receptionist to tell me how much would it be to renew my membership and she said for 1 year 180 euros.I can use all the equimptment and go to the classes they have.The also have sauna and other snazzy stuff i can use~I called my husband to see what he thinks of it and probably im going to join again!This time though i am not going to quit!(Sorry but the ENTER key isnt working for making paragraphs)So while on the metro i was thinking that 1) i have managed in a year to loose nearly 20 kilos.2)i have managed to put exercise in my life and not only that but also ihave managed to NEED exercise to feel good and get loads of energy and strenght from it!3)I have managed to run!and not only do i run i have managed to run for 30 minutes straight~~~~~WITHOUT PASSING OUT!!!!who me~~~~~!!!!!!!4) i have managed to wear a size 14 from a size 18,20~~~!!!!!5)I have managed to quit smoking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!So i am feeling pretty good about myself today!Soo what if i have gained some weight?????I wont let it get me down cause i will find it very difficult to get up again!I will continue and i will make it.If its 75 kilos ,70 kilos or 65 kilos i really dont care so much.I care that i am feeling good about myself and i am forever saying goodbye to the fat , unhealthy , always tired , sitting on the couch , smoking girl i was~~~~~~That all said im off to read your journals now~~~~Lots of love~~~~
 
Jess, I just read that out to my LH & he said "Wow, that's good!"

Wow Jess!!!!!!!

That's fan-bloody-tastic!!!!!!

I LOVE that last post.

Huge kudos to you sweet friend,

xoxoxoxo Cate
 
i knew you would love that post cause you are such a positive person yourself!YOu want to see other people happy with them selves,i know you do!!!Thanks Cate!!!!I know you are genuine happy for me,for seeing positive now!!!!


I went to the stadium this morning after leaving mario at nursery, just got back.I wasnt going to go today since i did go last night but my way home was passing the nice stadium,that i dont really go to anymore cause its too far from my home.So i really wanted to go there!I knew from Start that my body wouldnt be fast today as it wasnt,and i managed 25 minutes today.The reason isnt that i was tired but the sun was just to much to take.Half the court it was ok i even got some wind blowing but the other half was hell!!!!I really needed water so i stop all together.I could have gone 30 minutes but i prefered not to.I think i wont try it anymore running in the day time....imagine what it will be like in August!!!

Still thinking of the gym!!!EXited!!!!!!!ITHe main reason i thought of going actually was for strenght training.I will not quit my running if course outside at the stadium, but i do want a bit more weights in my schedule.I was thinking of warming up on the treadmill then doing some time like 30 minutes on the elliptical (that burns loads!!!!!!) and then another 30 minutes on the machines lifting weights arms and legs.I will confess on here to you only that i am feeling a bit guilty for wanting to go.I will need about 1,5-2 hours each time i go there,workout come home and i feel guitly towards G....i dont want him to think that i am selfish or that i am leaving house chores to go work out.I must figure this out,I know he wont say anything and its all in my mind but really i feel that i must be the BEST at home to earn myself some MY TIME!!!!
 
You are doing so great, J!!! What motivation you have!


It is true that it's hard to balance family and "me time". I have certainly have had my own bouts with guilt. But remember- you're only human and can't always be "good". Some things my have to slide a bit while you are getting yourself together. In the grand scheme of things, a perfectly clean house isn't all that important- especially compared to your mental and physical well-being!



BTW- that cherry sorbet looks SO yummy!!!!! Wish I had some right now for my lunch!!
 
AGood for you!! A happy mommy and wife makes for a happy life!! :)

The best thing you can do for your family is take care of you!! I am telling you..its a lesson I wish I would have learned earlier in life!!

Excited to hear how your new workouts go!! Good luck and enjoy!!! : )
 
Thank you my ladies!!!!


I am saving up the money and then i;ll go!!!I will try to balance things out with home ect!!!!


Yesterday i had whats in the photos (yoghurt with 2spoons oats.koulouri) and (spag.with some cheese and boiled zucchinis)plus another plate of spagghetti that i didnt tke a pic of,,,cause i knew i was guilty~~~~~~

Will be back later on!!!






yesterday at the tracks





my flowers by the window i love them!!!




me when really big about 2 years ago........................
 
Don't be irregular in your diet following, follow it properly then you can reach your goal and first thing to lose your weight is balancing your calorie intake and calorie expenditure.
 
I just love that you are feeling really positive Jess & I think that you're doing really well & also being very supportive. I love your flowers by the window too! Much love to you sweetie, xoxoxo Cate
 
:smash::cuss:


81,2


wtf???????????????????????????????

Im really mad right now..i was expecting a little loss getting back in the 70's and instead i get THIS///////////


ok...im am going to kiss some FAT behind from NOW all through the week.....................I am going to REALLY KICK IT
 
I know how frustrating it is, believe me! The numbers scale can be so confusing and crazy-making.


But your attitude is definitely great.

Getting mad is WAY better than being crushed! Never give up- just keep that resolve and keep your eyes on your goal!


Stay strong!
 
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