Changing the Way I Feel and Eat!!!

Breakfast Coffee 70 cals a piece of koulouri 150 cals

Lunch SPinach with rice 380 cals 80 gr of feta cheese 240 cals 3 mini toasts 81 cals

Snack 1 mini toast 27 cals 1 and hald coffee 105 cals

Dinner 2 carrot 40 cals , 1 apple 95 cals



Total 1188


Workout 110 crunches , arm weights , 20 repeats of exercise dont know what its called.You get on the floor doggy style!and push your leg back,bring back to front and repeat.I did 20 for each leg.






I am feeling really better can see that from my food (did not know that a medium apple had 95 cals in!!!)

Although i feel better , there is a part of me that feels bad,I am thinking maybe i treated him hard.Maybe?What is done is done now,i dont regreat sticking up for my son , but i am thinking of things as "what will he eat?" "is he going to be ok?" " is he maybe hurt or really doesnt care?"


From my eating the last week i have a few horrible spots on my face.Eating bad no exercise and stress....I discovered a new white hair today as well....


I really felt i NEEDED to be good today.My body needed it , really, i was thinking that i had about 300 cals left and i could have chocolate but i really dont want it!Thats a first!I want to have a carrot and an apple,i feel my body want to "clean out " a bit.


Thanks to all of you for just putting up with me all this time.I really felt better cause i shared all of it with you.Thanks so much!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
 
Hi Jess, I'm glad that you are feeling better & are eating more healthily as well. Has your Dad gone? Don't feel guilty sweets. You deserve to have a good life, xoxo Cate
 
Well he left this morning....he said goodbye and thank you.HE left with my husband.Then my husband called and said he left him on a central road in the center of Athens and he said he didnt have any place to go , and he said that even if I told him he can stay he wouldnt after what i said to him.So i got upset told my husband not to tell me all this.Specially if i can do anything about this.I mean even if i did phone him and tell him to come here until he finds a place , he wouldnt come.So why tell me?Is this supposed to make me feel guilty or bad?am i a terrible person?am i the bad daughter that kicked her dad out in a time of need?I am confused.I told my husband that IF i was kicking him out i would of told him to get out that Saturday.But i didnt i told him to see what he is going to do ASAP and get out.So why now must i feel like i am a bad person?????I am fighting inside me.

I will tell you something i am feeling and thinking these days.I am feeling SCARED.Scared that my son is going to turn out not caring about me when he grows up , and never will help me , cause i belive what you GIVE is what you GET BACK in return in life.And i am feeling this so much.SO intense.

Maybe its silly but its really got me thinking.Am i a good mother to him?Does he love me?Will he always be here for me?Will he be proud of me?Will he feel like he had a great chilhood?What is wrong with me?


Well we went ot my other sister today that lives furhter away and i havent seen her for 3 months.So she had made these little cheese pies i had 5 of them.I had also 2 chocolate cupcakes.It was the name day today of her husband and the house was full of sweets but i only had 2 small cupcakes.I also had this afternoon for lunch a plate of pasta with 4 small spoons grated cheese.Plus 3 coffees.

I am planning to on the airwalker in a while.If i actually do ill be back later on to edit this post.
 
bThe first one in the same black dress was taken this year 10 April on Marios bday at 97 kg.I look awfull.............Strange how i could strech my clothes so much!!!!


First one at about 85 kg a little more.


Good day to all!

I just took the seconds pics today!my scales say 78,3 so thats good if you think i havent been good the last weeks.I am having a good one today though!

Will be back later on
 
Breakfast Coffee 70 cals

Lunch Eggplant, zucchini . onion , peper in oven with tomatoe paste and 1 and half tbs of olive oil 545 cals , 60 gr.feta cheese 180 cals 2 mini toasts 54 cals

Snack 3 slices salami....135 cals , 1 apple with cinnamon 120 cals

Dinner Soup ready made 130 cals


TOTAL 1234 cals


Exercise 35 minutes bike 400 cals , 110 crunches







Im glad i've had a good day today!When i returned from the super market MArio wanted a slice of salami and i ate 3 pieces then i REALLY wanted to make a sandwich whith cheese salami and tomatoe i was so close i grabbed the bread then said NO so i had the apple instead.I did manage to eat though as i said 3 slices, that i found out is nearly 150 cals............!!!!!!!!!!!OMG that so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Well at least i didnt eat what i had in mind and i have styed in my calories.So i hope i go this way all week maybe ill see 77kg on my scales!!!!
 
AHeya sweetie

First of all, don't you dare feel bad OK!!!! You have nothing to feel bad about AT ALL!!! He had to go and you owe him nothing. Do not feel guilty, he has got himself into that situation and it is his problem not yours. He does not behave like a father should.

Do not think that you will be a bad mum and that Mario will be like your Father. Mario is having a normal, happy upbringing and is loved dearly. He will grow up to be a normal loving person and probably be a mummy's boy :)

Honestly hun, put it all behind you now and move on with you life. Re-read that amazing inspiring post you put on here a few days ago and be that person. Love ya :)

Moving on to the pictures!!!

OMG you look great!!!! I can't believe it's the same dress!!! That is amazing :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: Well done you!!! And the second one!!! LOOK HOW FAR YOUR WAIST GOES IN NOW!!!! :hurray: :hurray:

Sexy!!!

So glad you are still keeping motivated :) You are amazing!!!
 
Aw kate you are always lovely,,,thank you so much ...you are right i know, but i was feeling down , cause my husband said he would stay on the streets.I am trying not to think of all this that happened it really makes me sad, what he said and what i had to do.So....


I was looking around for some recepies and i saw these chineese dishes...omg...i love chineese stuff , not all , but i love things as chicken noodles and beef broccoli , orange chicken , sweet and sour....i am so hungry right now!!!!!!!!So i really want to buy a wok.The are quite expensive so i will check e-bay.I want to make these YUMMY dishes!and most of them arent terribly fattening!!!!
 
:iagree: with Kate. You will be a great Mum Jess & Mario will not be like your father. Time to look after yourself & time to smile & to laugh. We don't smile often enough & we women worry way too much! Whatever happens to your father it is not your fault. I'm glad that you have started looking at Asian recipes & are looking out for a wok. The cheap steel ones are better than the expensive non-stick ones as the key is being able to cook quickly at high heat. Is there an Asian store where you are anywhere? Most little Asian supermarkets sell the cheap woks & a wok tool (like a spatula or egg lifter but metal.)

I just googled it & found this site for you. I have no idea exactly where you are but I think you're in Athens- http://bigfatgreeksummer.blogspot.com/2008/08/where-to-buy-asian-ingredients-in.html Hope this helps xo Cate
 
Breakfast Coffees 140 cals

Lunch Eggnoodles with butter and cheese.......(aprox 600 cals)

Dinner 3 srambled eggs 240cals with 3 slices of bacon 150cals and 2 big pieces of fresh bread 200 cals fryed with 2 tbls oil 240cals...............



Exercise 27 minutes on aiwalker , 17 minutes on step (climbed 1100 steps!!!) 110 crunches ,arm weights


TOTAL 1570 (i am sure its about 500 cals more.)




Thanks Cate!for all that you wrote!!!Thank you too for taking time to find that link it is SOOO useful!!!I had found it a year ago and couldnt seem to find it!!!until you just posted it!!!!!!!!thanks so much!!!!


I didnt do great today,But i was feeling sooo hungry,plus i went looking for left over chocolate , but didnt find any and got pissed off with my husband for eating it!!!!I have been craving chineese food for days,,,,i nearly order last night but didnt thank goodness.I think my periods are around the corner cause of my appetite increasing soooo much.I am thinking of food all day......

So i felt really bad eating that egg n bacon, i didnt even like it it felt yuck and made me feel greasy!

I know i dodnt burn much with my workout today , although i did different stuff, i was feeling really tired on the airwalker couldnt do an hour no way.

I worked them out the cals but dont know for sure how many i ate.I get different cals from looking here and there.I think its more than 1570....

Well news about my "father" is that my husband called him , he said he hasnt eaten anything in 3 days and is sleeping is this office....I have no idea what is going on dont really care , but hting is my husband told him that he would meet up with him and bring him food to eat.And guess what?Dear daddy said NO!HE doesnt want anything from me doesnt want to feel that he OWES anything to me and he said that as i said i dont want to have anything to do with him , so does he want NOTHING to do with my anymore after what i said to him!!!So see he is really a horrible person after all.He even thinks I must say sorry?after HE INSULTED ME AND MY CHILD and MY HOME?....So even if i was wrong let just say as a sixty year old grown man he should of talked to me and told me off , tell me something ,,,like i told him.But he didnt ....and it makes me even more mad to think that he really does think he is right and that him not wanting to have anything to do with my son is NORMAL...Anyway i said i wont go on about this.

Well thats thats!!!Hope i get a good day tommorow!
 
AHun I am SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!! You did exactly what you needed to do, and don't feel bad for a second. He has got something vital missing in his brain- the part which contains empathy, consideration and love. He has no love in his soul at all. He doesn't care about anyone, so its no wonder that he has not got another single place to go, because normal people just do not want to be around someone who is so cold inside. I could feel him sucking out your heat. But now your free again. And you should have always have been free, he had a cheek to come and stay with you for so long after all he has put you through in your lifetime. I am glad that he said what he did. Hugs xxxxx

Do not question or doubt your family because of him. What sort of a father was he to you? His opinions mean nothing.

You are looking so skinny and gorgeous. WOW!!!!! The difference is HUMONGOUS!!!!!!! x
 
Breakfast 2 coffees 140 cals

Snack 2 slices of bread with slice of cheese X 2 = 540 cals

Lunch Bowl of chicken broth with some rice in 150 cals

Dinner 2 bowls of chicken soup with rice in 350 X 2 = 700 cals

1 coffee 70 cals


Total 1627 cals


Workout 110 crunches , different leg exercises , arm weight , 22,5 minutes on step climed 1500 steps burnt 210 cals




Seems that i had a lot of cals today and honestly i didnt expect it to be so high.I am REALLY guessing on the cals the soup had though.I mean it was just soup and some rice nothing else.Maybe i have put to many cals.I dont know because i didnt cook it my mother in law did.SO im not goung to get hysterical about this , cause i really think i had a good day.

I even worked out earlier cause i knew we where going to my mother INLaws home.

The only thinkg that was naughty was those bread and slice of cheese i had but i was so starving i just had it.So i am feeling generally really slim!its such a lovely feeling!Cant wait to drop to 77.

Ihave noticed that when i get to a number say 78 then i go up a bit and takes a week about to get back to that number78.Its weird.Its like i reach it get happy then go up a bit.Like my body is really fighting...It should be that i get to anumber and then stay there or start going down.but its the opposite with my.Like i know ill be 77,5 but only for a day or two.Then i will be 77.9 77.8 for more than a week then go down again under 77,3 .....



Rainbow thanks honey.You are right and i know so , but i have feelings i am not a cold hearted person like him , thats why probably i got those feeling but im ok now.I will be by my son through his life and wont take advantage of him or abandon him...like he did to us
 
Hi Jess, Re: your cals for yesterday. You said your lunch bowl of chicken soup, with rice, was 150 cals but then you counted each bowl you had for tea as 350 x2 (700), instead of 150 x2 (300.) Unless the evening soup was a different sort or you had 2 huge bowls your cals for the day would be 400 less. Just a thought. Do you have full cream milk in your coffee? I tried finding a quote for you & got side-tracked (not at all unusual for me.) Thanks for visiting my diary fellow week-end hermit, xoxo Cate
 
ADon't stress about the scales! If scales only measured fat, it would carry on going down and down as long as your not being naughty. But its measuring muscles, and water, and so many things affect tyhat like hormones and salt and stuff. All that matters is that your doing well. And you are :) You look slim, and you feel slim.

Glad you are feeling a bit better about your Dad now- I hope he does the sensible thing and hands himself in to the police- at least that way he will not have to be on the run and looking over his shoulder for his entire life.

Hows Mario coping with his eye patch now? Is his squint improving?
 
aw thanks for the concern ladies!!!!

Cate the soup was different at lunch and another for dinner the dinner one was sure more that the watery lunch i had!!!!

I didnt log on yesterday,i felt like a big pig.

I had coffees 3 all day at about 5 ish i had 3 small homemade burgers with oven potatoes and feta cheese 2 xslices of bread and then at about 9 at night i had 2 chocolates worth 590 cals/////


Rainbow i stopped the patch for now cause my doctor pediatrician said that the eye doctor i took him too isnt very good and i should get a 2nd opinion as soon as possible.before closing his eye

Well i did weigh this morning and to my suprise 77,8 ..........Not getting happy though im waiting for my periods still havent come so ......ill be patient and hope i get to 77,5 steady though
 
AHi hon....first off you look amazing!!! You have done so well...even when all the stresses of the world are on you..you do so good!! You have a great family....and you put them first.....you should be proud that you put your own family first ahead of your father!! They are what count in life...not a biologic stranger for the most part...GOOD FOR YOU...you little hottie!!! :) :)
 
Thank you tete!:) you are right i know.Deep iside though i have this voice saying "maybe you should of just shut up for a while and bear a bit"///////


Well i did log on yesterday but only for a little.I was helping my mother in law at that night club and an appartment building to clean so i was really tired.I got home late at 7 ish then we went off again to her home to eat.I had 2 coffess and an energy drink all day,then at her home i had 2 pices of spinach pie and some fries.


Today is a new week , so hope i manage ok.Not going to weigh cause my periods came this morning and i am going to be bloated all week.


Thing is i know for a fact that my best friends a married couple the husband is going with other women.The girl is my friend from 1995 i was 14 then and she was 10~~~~!!!!!they have 2 kids a six year old and a nearlly 2 year old.I love her more than him but still they are my friends.I feel really bad.I am not going to tell her anything , but they did have a couple of fights these past 3 months because of little things she saw on his fb.but she DOESNT know.She told me to go there today after leaving mario at school she wanted to tell me what happend on friday and they had a fight.But i didnt go cause my home was like a bomb hit it and i came to clean up.Ill go tommorow though.I was thinking that if it was me in her place and found out that she KNEW all this time and didnt tell me , i think i would be very hurt.But i cant say anything its not my buisness.I just hope she is happy.
 
i just loged on to say that my day could of been really bad, but i saved it last minute.I fell asleep cause im not feeling well i have a headache and sore throat , and i woke up thinking of food so i went staight to the oven where i had leftover spaggetti with chicken sause and had a big mouthfull of it , i was ready of getting my plate out to fill it and make a big greek salad as well with feta cheese but i had a smoke instead and the hunger feeling went away....I always get like that when i sleep in the afternoon.Still i have eaten my cals for the day i think.I am just feeling real tired and sore and moody....I think i;ll try some exercise maybe i'll feel better after a workout.
 
Breakfast 2 coffees 140 cals 2 small pieces of spinach pie 250 cals

Lunch Spaghetti with chicken sause and cheese 1000 cals

Snack 1 tangarne 40 cals

Dinner Glass of fresh orange juice 120 cals


TOTAL 1550



Workout 33 minutes on step , 110 crunches , some leg exercise.
 
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