Cate's Diary

[alligatorob]

We had an unusual breakfast which was leftover prawn curry with a soft egg & quinoa. It was more like soup & was delicious. It was a one-off. It was a bit rich for a breakfast.

That does sound good. Hopefully tomorrow the weather will cooperate with your walk plans!

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Rob. We got a good walk in, even though I forgot to change into my walking shoes. I’ll go for a long walk this afternoon. It’s very humid.

 

[Llama]

I like humid spring days. The air feels so alive then! Prawn curry soup for breakfast sounds amazing but you are of course right that the typical curry is quite rich.

 

[liza3]

I have decided to try to get a walk in before it gets warm & to get my metabolism up & running for the day. I must say I feel more energised than I usually do in the morning. I don't know whether I should eat anything beforehand though as I really needed to get home in a hurry. I usually need to go to the loo about an hour after breakfast, but walking made a difference. Maybe I should just have a piece of fruit & then breakfast when I get back. Maybe I should wait until 9 to go for a walk. I'll experiment I think.

Experimenting with different ideas around walking sounds great. I know I usually like getting my longer walks or runs in in the mornings...but I do usually eat first...

Even though the nutritionist suggested not counting calories & not weighing often I'm too scared not to & am going back to counting today

I find that too--as soon as i stop counting calories it all just seems very easy to slip into old eating habits...Maybe once you get a more solid habit established of how much to eat it would be easier to experiment with dropping the counting...so far I haven't seemed to be able to drop the counting without regaining the weight...

 

[Cate]

I like humid spring days. The air feels so alive then!

I struggle for breath with humidity in spring/summer & fog in winter.

Prawn curry soup for breakfast sounds amazing but you are of course right that the typical curry is quite rich.

It was delicious, Llama but my stomach complained a bit during the day.

Experimenting with different ideas around walking sounds great. I know I usually like getting my longer walks or runs in in the mornings...but I do usually eat first...

I think I need to get the long walk in the morning as I don't seem to have anywhere near as much energy, physical or mental in the afternoon.

I find that too--as soon as i stop counting calories it all just seems very easy to slip into old eating habits...Maybe once you get a more solid habit established of how much to eat it would be easier to experiment with dropping the counting...so far I haven't seemed to be able to drop the counting without regaining the weight...

I agree, Liza. I now have to try to get back into it properly.

---

It's cool & rainy today. I'll have to shoot out the door (haha) when there's a break. That won't be happening until I am showered & dressed & that won't be happening soon.
Mentally I feel much better than I have for a week. Hopefully, R will emerge from his fog soon. I'll try not to nag him to see his doctor & I'm really hoping he is taking his meds (G assumes he isn't, which made me mad yesterday but then planted a seed of doubt). Life with a mental illness is bloody tough. I'll try not to dwell on it as that doesn't help anyone.

 

[Llama]

What a shame your body doesn't allow you to enjoy spring humidity! Very glad you're feeling better though

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Llama

 

[Emilyrose]

Glad that you are feeling better and I hope R does very soon.

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Em. So do I. It doesn't matter what age you or your kids are, you suffer if they suffer. Well, I do anyway.

 

[Llama]

Of course you do: you love your kids and watching people you love suffer hurts. Even more so when you have a history of being responsible for their well-being. You're an excellent egg and that isn't always an easy way to live.

 

[liza3]

It's cool & rainy today. I'll have to shoot out the door (haha) when there's a break. That won't be happening until I am showered & dressed & that won't be happening soon.

Did you make it out? I usually like to go on those cool wet walks before I get showered, then I can go out, get wet and cold and come home to a nice warm shower...

Mentally I feel much better than I have for a week.

So good to hear!

It doesn't matter what age you or your kids are, you suffer if they suffer.

Yes parents never seem to cease being parents...hard to let go...It is wonderful you have such a great relationship with your kids.
I hope R finds his stability and happiness soon.

 

[Cate]

Of course you do: you love your kids and watching people you love suffer hurts. Even more so when you have a history of being responsible for their well-being. You're an excellent egg and that isn't always an easy way to live.

Thank you, Llama. I read this yesterday & had trouble responding to the compliment. R says "You're a good egg, CL" to me often. I spoke to him twice yesterday & he is much brighter & is working his way through the fog. That made me feel much better.

Did you make it out? I usually like to go on those cool wet walks before I get showered, then I can go out, get wet and cold and come home to a nice warm shower...

I did, Liza. There was a good break in the rain & I pushed myself out the door, even though I had zero energy & went for our long-ish walk right up the other end of the road. I got waylaid along the way by our neighbour's ex MIL who pulled up in her car & introduced herself. That was nice. They're visiting from interstate. She had her GD in the car & we had a bit of a chat. The GD is a bit shy so it will be nice to get to know her better.

So good to hear!

Thank you xo

Yes parents never seem to cease being parents...hard to let go...It is wonderful you have such a great relationship with your kids.
I hope R finds his stability and happiness soon.

I feel attached to both our sons, but I can understand R better & am more connected. I sometimes feel that D doesn't really like me. I have thought that so many times but don't think I have "voiced" it before. It's probably a natural thing that your kids are closer to one parent than another. Sometimes I ask G to ask D to call in, thinking that will work better. I don't feel I love one son more than the other, but occasionally I wonder if D may think that I do.

---

For someone who had zero energy yesterday, I did fairly well. Because I have verbally committed myself to a neighbourhood get-together I thought I had better get stuck into getting the place ready for visitors who have never seen it! I'm trying to get my head around where people will park & how much brush cutting & tidying up will be necessary. I have voiced my concerns to G & yesterday he started on the BBQ area, which has been a jungle. I drove the car out of the garage in the afternoon & rearranged it & cleaned it up. It was a huge job, but I transformed it. On the day I can leave the door open & people can go in & get drinks from the fridge in there. I'll keep working on it. G even got out the brush cutter. He's sceptical anyone will come, but I'm sure they will. I must do some invites.

 

[alligatorob]

I find that too--as soon as i stop counting calories it all just seems very easy to slip into old eating habits...

I agree, Liza. I now have to try to get back into it properly.

I can tell you it is really important to me. No fun, but if I track calories I know I eat better. A lot better. Are you still using MFP?

I have verbally committed myself to a neighbourhood get-together

Good for you!! It should be fun, but don't exhaust yourself. People are coming to see you and each other, not the condition of your brush.

He's sceptical anyone will come, but I'm sure they will. I must do some invites.

Get the invites out and I am sure they'll come. If invited I would, well if I lived closer anyway...

 

[Cate]

I can tell you it is really important to me. No fun, but if I track calories I know I eat better. A lot better. Are you still using MFP?

I think it's really important for me too. I'm still using MFP. Edit: I opened it up to friends again so you can see what I eat & drink. I'll ask you some questions soon about what you can actually see. For eg. can you read my notes & what I actually weigh? I'll put a note in now.

Good for you!! It should be fun, but don't exhaust yourself. People are coming to see you and each other, not the condition of your brush.

But still.....You want people to see it at its best & it's good for us too, when it looks good. I'll try not to leave much to the last minute though as I can then relax a bit more.

Get the invites out and I am sure they'll come. If invited I would, well if I lived closer anyway...

I have verbally invited most people, sussing out their interest, but just want to drop a note in their letterboxes as well a bit closer to the date. I think the majority will come, but it doesn't matter if they don't. It's an opportunity for people to get to meet their neighbours & exchange phone numbers if they wish. Some won't want to & that's ok too. I'm just going to provide nibblies & the venue & they can bring their own drinks.

 

[Llama]

How nice that your neighbor's ex-MIL introduced herself and gave her GD a chance to get to know you a little (even if she just sat in the back I'm sure it helps for a shy kid to at least have SEEN you and heard you talk).

I don't feel I love one son more than the other, but occasionally I wonder if D may think that I do.

Being closer to someone is going to look like loving them more from the outside, I think. But also if R has always needed a little more support older siblings have a tendency to pull back a bit and be more self-sufficient in order to take some pressure off Mom and Dad. I don't know if that's the case in your family, of course, but it wouldn't be totally surprising.

I drove the car out of the garage in the afternoon & rearranged it & cleaned it up. It was a huge job, but I transformed it.

I like simple physical labor where you can really see the difference between the before and after. I'm sure at least some of your neighbors will both rsvp and show up and they'll love your place.

 

[Emilyrose]

Good work on cleaning out the garage. I’m sure you will have the place looking lovely for the many many neighbours that will drop by.

 

[liza3]

I thought I had better get stuck into getting the place ready for visitors who have never seen it! I'm trying to get my head around where people will park & how much brush cutting & tidying up will be necessary. I have voiced my concerns to G & yesterday he started on the BBQ area, which has been a jungle. I drove the car out of the garage in the afternoon & rearranged it & cleaned it up. It was a huge job, but I transformed it.

Always such a great motivator when people are coming over...that must have been a very satisfying job to get done!

I feel attached to both our sons, but I can understand R better & am more connected. I sometimes feel that D doesn't really like me. I have thought that so many times but don't think I have "voiced" it before. It's probably a natural thing that your kids are closer to one parent than another. Sometimes I ask G to ask D to call in, thinking that will work better. I don't feel I love one son more than the other, but occasionally I wonder if D may think that I do.

It does make sense that parents and children would understand/relate more to each other depending on personality stuff. I know we definitely seem to have that in my family too. I hope it wouldn't mean someone feels less loved necessarily, but I can see how that could seem like that sometimes--esp if one does need more support...families are complicated!

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Llama, Em & Liza. I continued with the house cleaning yesterday as it rained all day.
Families are complicated. I'm sure that D has tried not to worry me over the years because he knows that I have had a lot of worries with R. I'll try not to take it personally but sometimes it hurts. It's a natural thing for adult offspring to concentrate on their partner than on their parents. Our GD messaged me yesterday saying how much they miss & love us & I said I thought that her Dad was bringing them to visit us soon. She sent back a message with a lol casting doubt on that. I messaged her back asking what her shifts were in her new job & she told me. The next thing I know I got a message saying that he had planned on picking them up at 5 pm on Sunday & bringing them here for dinner, but had forgotten to check with me first. I'm happy with the result. We'll have a birthday dinner for G as it's his birthday this Wednesday.
I haven't heard from R since Saturday when he sounded brighter. I hope he manages to get a doctor's appointment soon. I have one today at 11 am. I don't feel like going anywhere. It's bucketing down. I'll leave Arch & G at home as there's be no dog walking today probably. I might pop into the op shops & see if there are any raincoats.

 

[Llama]

Maybe mentioning it to your GD reminded D and he made plans accordingly. Either way it's lovely they'll come visit.

 

[liza3]

I might pop into the op shops & see if there are any raincoats.

Hope you found one So much easier to get out when we have proper gear!

The next thing I know I got a message saying that he had planned on picking them up at 5 pm on Sunday & bringing them here for dinner, but had forgotten to check with me first. I'm happy with the result. We'll have a birthday dinner for G as it's his birthday this Wednesday.

Sounds perfect!