Cate's Diary

Hi Cate,

I'd like to echo Rob and say you do a great job with this site, and should take some comfort in that you're helping or have helped many people, including myself, with your encouraging posts.

Regarding anxiety, it seems like a lot of people are anxious these days for, obvious reasons. I try with varying degrees of success to ask myself, well, what's the problem, right now, at this moment? Not ten minutes from now or yesterday. This usually helps. The exception is it's a work issue that needs immediate resolution by me. I'm typically pretty stressed until I've got it resolved.

Regarding thoughts from the past, the most useful thing for me in battling those is to consider them as mere thoughts, as the past no longer exists.
 
:grouphug: These are weird times. And many of us are more anxious than normal. Keep taking care of yourself (and allow others to coddle you a bit sometimes) and things WILL get better with time.
 
Thank you, Jack. I will try to arrest those thoughts when they start. “What is the problem, right now?” That is a good start. I think the anxiety is like an undercurrent which bubbles up & I need to recognise when that is happening. I need to learn to forgive myself. I have always been very self critical.
Thanks, LaMa. These are indeed weird times & take lots of adjustments & will take many more. I must build up my mental reserves & be kind to myself. :grouphug:
My ear doesn’t hurt this morning so I’ll go to lunch. I will invite K & whoever to come up to our home afterwards, depending on perfume, as K hasn’t been here. She’s my favourite of all the “ladies”.
 
Lunch was enjoyable. A few of the women who sat near me remembered not to wear any perfume, which was lovely. The meals were huge & daunting. Too much. I had some really enjoyable conversations & lots of laughs. K & G & I had a look in a few shops after lunch & they came up to our home afterwards. All 3 of us loved the same top( a cowl necked knit ) & I tried it on, but it was too small. I took a photo of the tag & can buy it online. I really would like to try it on before buying though so might make some calls today.
I’m going into town to have my ears syringed today & will have a look for a top in a couple of local stores.
Not only did the restaurant have antiseptic hand wash everywhere, but also a room deodoriser that was unavoidable as you came out of the toilets. I suffered during the night from itching & asthma & am about to go back into today at the doctor’s!
 
Glad your lunch was enjoyable. Do you have problems with the odors added to so many of the hand sanitizers? If so I can see that would be a struggle. Hope your itching & asthma are soon gone.
jackbenimble said:
Regarding thoughts from the past, the most useful thing for me in battling those is to consider them as mere thoughts, as the past no longer exists.
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Jack sure got that one right! A great quote.
 
The room "deodorisers" (hah!) kind of kill me as well. Not only do most of them kind of smell like decay to me but it´s like my lungs just seize up and refuse to work sometimes.
 
Glad your lunch went well. Some good laughs shared with others always so lovely but especially these days when socializing is less frequent.
 
Thanks, Rob. I do have a lot of trouble with the "fragrance" added to hand sanitizers. The fragrance is totally unnecessary. I understand that people just won't wash their hands either properly or often enough & I have to get used to hand sanitiser being absolutely everywhere. I am really struggling with it. I had things to do today in town but wore masks to block out the fragrance. Jack's quote is a very good one. The going over the past is a total waste of energy. I can't change it & I have learned from my mistakes. Thanks for your kind words the other day. Sometimes I seem to get stuck.
The automatic dispensers that pump out smelly chemicals into the room are the worst for me, LaMa. You simply can't avoid them. A mask does not stop that stuff being sprayed all over you. I think I could cope with most other stuff if they disappeared from the planet.
Thanks, Liza. It really was a pleasant, but exhausting day.
New clothes :D
I went straight to a little shop in town & tried on 5 knit tops & bought 2 of them as I loved them both. They were the same brand as the one I saw yesterday. As H was folding them up I saw a jacket/cape type in a rusty colour. I tried it on & bought that too. I am now set. I have a few more outfits & all 3 are timeless. They can be dressed up or down.
I can also hear again. I met a new doctor who is lovely so I may see her from time to time as well. G stayed home with Arch & took him for a walk & then he & I took him for another walk at 4 pm after I had a small nap with A on my lap cuddling up to me. Bliss.
Our older son & the 2 younger GK's are staying with us tonight & tomorrow night & we'll have the kids during the day tomorrow while he works. I may not get on here for long tomorrow. I think I'll look up movies to go to. We'll at least them out to lunch (with Archie too).
 
That is really too bad about the sanitizers being such a problem. There seemed to be a good shift away from fragrances and increased awareness of environmental sensitivities, but so much is out the window with covid.
Anyways very nice that you found some nice new clothes you really like, and that your ear is cleared!
Enjoy the time with your son and grandkids. Lovely to hear you having some really nice times :)
 
alligatorob said:
Yes, and I don't get it. I am not allergic, but I rarely like artificial odors. We use way too many.
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I know, Rob. The world seems obsessed with fragrance, instead of concentrating on hygiene. No amount of fragrance will fix poor hygiene. :svengo:
liza said:
That is really too bad about the sanitizers being such a problem. There seemed to be a good shift away from fragrances and increased awareness of environmental sensitivities, but so much is out the window with covid.
Anyways very nice that you found some nice new clothes you really like, and that your ear is cleared!
Enjoy the time with your son and grandkids. Lovely to hear you having some really nice times :)
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The shift away from fragrance & increased awareness of environmental sensitivities wasn't really happening here, unfortunately, but now I feel it's a lost cause!
It was lovely buying new clothes that will make me feel good about myself again. We are having a lovely time today & are now back home after lunch out in a lovely family cafe that is near our son's work. It gives him some extra time with his kids & also a treat. I'm really going to be much more conscious of supporting small businesses from now on. I'm glad I bought my clothes locally. It must be such a struggle to stay in business.
LaMaria said:
Yay for new clothes!
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I'll wear them next weekend, LaMa as we'll be going out to dinner 2 nights in a row in Hobart.
 
Cate said:
The shift away from fragrance & increased awareness of environmental sensitivities wasn't really happening here, unfortunately, but now I feel it's a lost cause!
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That's too bad :( I know people are getting concerned about the turning back to plastics with covid as well...increase of cars too as people want to avoid public transit...sigh.

Anyways great job on supporting local. Yes we need to try to keep the small businesses going for sure!
 
Life seems to be 2 steps forward & 4 back at the moment.
Lots of stress yesterday. My anxiety is mostly R related & yesterday I really worried about his state of mind especially when I found out that he took himself off his meds a few months ago. :( I’m going to have a really good talk to him this week as he’s going to come up during the week. G & I were prepared to drive down last night & get him. He doesn’t see that he needs his meds.
I just got a message from one of my friends, who used to work for us, that her husband, who is friends with G has secondary brain cancer.
i really need to concentrate on being kind to myself. What tough times we live in. I’m so glad I have Arch. He’s good therapy. D has gone to work & the kids haven’t surfaced yet. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I had feared the worst.
 
sorry to hear you're feeling so anxious again Cate. I hope you can help your son sort things out and he gets the help he needs.
Cate said:
i really need to concentrate on being kind to myself
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Yes take good care of yourself and yes, lean on Archie and your husband and any other supports around.:grouphug:
 
Thanks, LaMa. Yes, about R. He has been keeping her at arms length this week & she & I have both been worried. I hope he doesn’t push her away.
Thanks, Liza. I’m not pacing today at least & had a lovely walk by the beach with Arch & G after dropping the kids off. We needed the walk to de-stress. The GK’s are struggling too. I’m quite exhausted. I had to ring a friend of R’s who wants to visit us one day this week & I ended up crying. So did she. Her mum had BP.
I think I’ll try again to ring R.
Edit: I messaged him first to ask how his day has been & he said that he has had a chilled day & he & K were going out to dinner tonight. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.
Edit 2: R rang her to ask her out for dinner. Good. That is a relief. She’s a lovely person & deserves to be treated with respect. I’m going to be in touch with her more often. I really do love her.
 
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Ah Cate it sounds like you have had a very tough week . I hope your son will listen to you . I'm glad you bought some new clothes for yoursef and you have some meals with friends planned . Hugs :grouphug:
 
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