Cate's Diary

Wow, you've been so busy! I keep relying on the alerts to tell me if people are writing in their blogs, and often it doesn't tell me. Darn!

So glad you are saying NO to new tasks at the club, and congrats on the wins in golf! I am really happy you are liking the 16:8!

It seems like if you had been able to discourage your son from getting that land, it might have eased your worry a little, but since it's a done deal, no use worrying about it. He is old enough to get help if he needs to, and he knows you are there for him. So happy you are concentrating on yourself and your own happiness!
 
Hi, Marsia :grouphug:
I am really liking 16:8 but made a decision to have a small breakfast this morning as I really felt like having avocado & eggs when I woke. I was thinking about it & then G said "you can't have breakfast, can you? I feel like avocado & eggs" so I did. I decided one day does not cancel out what I'm doing. I will try to finish my eating day much earlier. I don't feel it's a failure.
I'm feeling much better about R's block as he has obviously hit it off with his neighbours & he seems to have found some kindred spirits. He is an amazing person & people love him. A neighbour one side came over & ran an extension cord & said he could use his power. R cooked for him & his wife a few days later. The neighbour on the other side is a plumber & does not live in his house, which is totally off-grid. He has offered about 4 parking spaces for R & it is a possibility that he will let R access his driveway to get stuff onto R's block.
Another neighbour, up above R came down to check on the place when he saw smoke coming from one of the sheds & he seems lovely & helpful apparently. He went to visit a local tour place on the island & the head chef is a guy who used to work with him in a hotel & he talked to R about working there. It's on the other end of the island but most of the workers travel daily to work from mainland Tas & could pick him up & drop him off at the bottom of his block on their way past. R's work record is impressive.
Friends are going to help him make the sheds more liveable for camping, but even as they are, he stayed there for a week & it rained for 5 days & they were watertight. They are going to help him to build steps to make it more accessible. He calls it his shack & it seems to make him happy. It is walking distance to the beach. If he can manage to get access from the bottom, then it will be really good. He hasn't met those neighbours yet. Getting access to his block from the bottom would be much better.
We love having him here, but it is hard sharing the kitchen space. He has stuff everywhere & does things so dramatically (but very well) & is so messy (he always cleans up afterwards), but G is really thingy about our kitchen & R has stuff everywhere & they both get so cranky with one another. I get stuck in the middle. He has always been untidy. We couldn't live together again.
We have to accept that R will be OK. He has so much personality & talent, integrity & ability. He is well loved. It's us who have to accept him as he is & not expect him to do things the way we do. If he does not want to take medication, that's his decision.
I'm going to enjoy his last day here. I can hear him having a shower, so will get off the computer.
Love to all, xoxo
 
Wow, it sounds like R is surrounded in lots of like-minded people at his new place. That's so great! The electricity is really wonderful - I was worried about how in the world he was going to live there in the winter, or make sure his phone was charged. That's great he is by the ocean, too - free bath! So it sounds like things could work out. That's pretty amazing!

I also wake up some mornings and can't bear to skip breakfast, so I just stop eating earlier and make sure I get a lot of healthy fats to tide me over until the next day. It also helps me having nice herbal teas - I make big pots of chai or lavendar tea a lot, and they are so flavorful, it feels like I am having a snack. I also do a mug of hot water with a lime in it and a few shakes of salt. It took me a few days to adjust to the new schedule, too.

Hope your last day together was great and your hubby and son didn't knock elbows in the kitchen too much!
 
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better about R's decision and I hope it works out for him and his new friends&neighbors :) It's true that we don't all have to live the same kind of life, but - I'm sorry if this sounds cruel - I hope you and G don't end up footing the bill.
 
Hi, Marsia. R's plan is to live down there eventually, but not for a year or so. Anything could happen between now & then. I felt better about it when I heard about the neighbours, but his repayments will mean he does not have a lot of spending/living money. He can live frugally if he needs to but will have to stop spending so much. I will stop talking about him as much if I can. I need to learn to switch off worrying about him.
Our last day wasn't great, but he's back home now. It's hard sharing space with him when he is manic.

I will try the water with some lime & salt. I'll ask Tru what she uses for an electrolyte drink too especially for when I play golf as I get cramps.

LaMa- I was trying to see the block the way R sees it & put a positive slant on it. His brother is hard on him (he's not his mother) & he seemed to think that it will be ok, so I am trying to go with that. I need to stop worrying about him as it makes me sick. He has way more assets than debts so there should be no need to bail him out financially. The house he lives in he co-owns & they have little debt left on it. I'll try to stop talking about him & focus more on other things. My diary is my therapy for now & it has copped a fair pounding lately.

We spent almost all of yesterday driving & it was a very stressful day. We dropped R off in L city in the afternoon. We are having to drive A to work at 5 pm & then go pick him up at 9 pm, 3 days a week. I really hope he gets his drivers licence quick smart. A lot has happened recently that I haven't told you about & I won't bother, but it means that our other son isn't around to drive A to & from his 2nd job & it falls on us to do it. He's a great kid & we love him, but we feel like we are being pulled in so many directions & it is exhausting. Really exhausting.

When I was driving back on my own after dropping A off at work I was listening to the radio & a middle eastern tune came on that made me want to Bellydance. I turned it up loud & thought "Bellydancing! Yes! That's what I'll do" I did it years & years ago & loved it & was good at it. Now to try to find a class that fits in & is not full of fragranced women.

I'm staying at home today. I told G that I felt like having a whole week "off" & staying at home. When he said it's not possible (it isn't) I told him that I am not going anywhere Sun, Mon & Thu.

We decided this morning that we will have our little old dog put to sleep this week. We were trying to wait until after Christmas, but this morning things were a bit gruesome when we opened up the laundry door & we realised that the time has come. She has had terrible diarrhoea overnight, with no change in her diet. We cleaned her room & bathed her. She fell over sideways at one stage, got up & was walking ok but is now back in her clean bed sound asleep in our living room. She was stressed over the weekend with the GK's & R here & everything being left all over the place. She is 17 years old, deaf & blind & has doggy dementia. It's time, before she suffers. I think we'll wait until Thursday as we have commitments on Tue & Wed & don't want to be teary & emotional.

It's cool here today & has been raining overnight again. It's lovely. I wish I could send some of it Tru's way!
 
cate said:
I will try the water with some lime & salt. I'll ask Tru what she uses for an electrolyte drink too especially for when I play golf as I get cramps.
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Cramps can be caused by lack of sodium, potassium or magnesium.

Hydralyte is fine for sodium and potassium but has no magnesium (not low carb, has sugar)
any of the magnesium tablets from the supermarket are also fine.

Dried apricots are good for cramps (sodium and potassium)
Banana has magnesium and potassium

Magnesium cream can hold off a cramp if it is caused by lack of magnesium, and is worth having in a sports bag just in case.
 
Thanks, Tru.
I take a calcium/magnesium supplement every night & an extra one on golf mornings & usually eat a banana when I'm playing golf, but because I'm trying to do 16:8 I need to wait until halfway through my golf game before I can eat anything. I'll maybe have a couple of bananas on golf days. I get the cramps that night & rub magnesium oil on my feet & that does help, but I might try rubbing it on before I play as well. I might just try Marcia's suggestion of just water with some salt while I play.
I have an appointment with my GP on Tuesday morning & had some blood tests a while ago. I'm not sure if they will show my electrolyte balance but will ask her & have some more tests if they don't.
Thanks for answering :)
 
Hi Cate!

So sorry to hear about your dear dog. When it's time though, you know. Big hugs!!

The keto people drink bone broth during fasting, and Ghandi was famous for aloe vera juice during fasts. Aloe vera juice contains electrolyte minerals, including magnesium, potassium, calcium and sodium, and also antioxidants. You just have to read the label and make sure there is no added sugar. I can only handle aloe vera juice with some lemon in it and/or in some carbonated water, and then I like it. I bet adding a few shakes of salt would work, too. It's also an immune system booster, so I should actually go out and get a jug and take my own advice!

As for not mentioning R, if he is on your mind, I would genuinely be into hearing about it. I grew up on the east coast of the US where people told each other if they were feeling crappy, and people could laugh about it together, but then I moved back to the west coast where people are more transient and less open in some ways (more liberal, but less open initially in a lot of places). So here if people are going through a hard time, they smile and pretend they are fine, and only if they know you well do they let down their facade. I have a lot of trouble with this. I feel like why bother asking how someone is if they are going to put up a false front of cheeriness and hide how they are really feeling? And I feel like with journaling here, a major part of helping us heal is to be honest and open about what is stressful for us so that we can acknowledge it and learn to cope in more healthy ways than turning to food for comfort, or stuffing things down and getting stressed, which makes it horribly hard to lose any weight. So I know my mom will continue to stress me out, and I feel like I may need to talk about that sometimes, and I hope we can just support each other in figuring out how to be around people who drive us crazy, even though we deeply care about them! Sorry to write your ear off!

It's rainy and wonderful here, too. I hope the rain makes it to where Tru is very soon, too!
 
Marsia said:
So I know my mom will continue to stress me out, and I feel like I may need to talk about that sometimes, and I hope we can just support each other in figuring out how to be around people who drive us crazy, even though we deeply care about them!
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Hi, Marsia. Thank you very much for your kindness & support. It's very much appreciated. I'm struggling to cope at the moment & it does really help to type in my diary how I am feeling & what is going on in my life & I am grateful that you are interested in knowing. I like it that you share your stress about your Mum. A problem shared......... I just can't cope with anything negative to do with R & just need to sound off I guess. I'm glad you understand. I do enough stressing as it is. I need to try to be as positive as I can or I'll go stark raving mad.
I'm going to get some Aloe Vera juice. I looked it up & found a sugar-free one available at our local supermarket. The one they had listed as "sugar-free" had water as the 1st ingredient & sugar as it's second! Then I found one that is 99% aloe vera, made in Aust from at least 99.9% Aust. ingredients. I'll get some on Tuesday & add some lemon if I need to. Thank you.
Belly dancing is wonderful fun :) I love dancing.
I'm enjoying my lazy day xoxo
 
I can't think of anything sensible to write today but I agree with Marsia about writing how you feel and not keeping up a facade here. Outside the timing often isn't right or we may feel like being open might be unpleasant for others ("how are you" is more of a greeting than a real question) but in here we really do want to know and anyone who hasn't got the time or mental energy can easily skip a post.
 
I agree that sometimes you just need a break from thinking about someone who is stressing you out so that you don't obsess. I am glad your other son thinks R will be ok, and that that helps you be more calm about things. But if you do want to let off steam about things, it helps me, too, because I also need to learn how to detach from my relative more and be more centered through accepting my feelings so I can deal with things better. My mom is really having bad memory problems now, and I expect that she is going to need a lot of help very soon, so I am hoping I figure out how to be more calm around her so that things go more smoothly!

Happy bellydancing - sounds so fun!!!

LaMa, I agree that in a lot of cultures "how are you" has become a greeting instead of an invitation to share. It wasn't like that where I grew up, and I miss the candor of really discussing how things really are with a person. But I see what you mean. People don't want to give TMI or feel like a burden to people they don't know very well. Glad we can really share how we are feeling!!
 
I didn't explain myself well at all I'm sorry. I'll try again tomorrow. We decided that tomorrow should be the day for our little dog. The stress of seeing her sick today was just too much.
I think I was trying to say that I want to share my life & stress with you as I feel that I am amongst people who care, but I need you to be gentle with your advice, especially when it comes to R. I'm especially sensitive at the moment.
xoxo
 
Ok, thanks for letting me know, and sorry I misunderstood! He's your baby and I can't imagine all the emotions you are dealing with!!

I hope it goes as well as it can with your dog. I hope you can take it easy this coming week and really nurture yourselves whenever you get the chance. :grouphug:
 
I'm amazed that I don't post here for a few days and I miss so much . I have read most of it and all I am going to comment on is big big hugs for you all tomorrow and for your beloved dog . I let my dog eat all his favourite treats on his last night and morning . Spent lots of time cuddling him . As much as he was able helped ramble for the last time in the garden and at least I felt he went off in a happy space . I will be thinking of you x
 
Thank you Marsia, Petal & LaMa. Our little old dog is feeling much better today & no longer has an upset stomach. This enables me to think more clearly & with less emotional distress. I think the weekend's turmoil threw her out as well. She gets very anxious now & needs to have everything in the same place & does not cope well with noise. I have much in common with my little dog. :)
I had better get moving & do some housework as I have been slack lately with all the stress. I'm feeling much calmer today.
I think I forgot to say that R had a "doggy date" with his ex GF, C yesterday. She was coming around to his house & they were taking both their dogs to a dog-friendly beach. This makes me very happy, even if they don't get back together. I feel quite sure they love one another & good friendships are very important. I felt grief when they split up.
Thanks for the hugs xoxoxo
 
Glad you and your dog are feeling back to normal again! I am just like my cat, too. She is a little petite white cat with a big, happy belly from snacking, and she talks a lot and likes lots of one on one time and is not good in groups, like me. That's really nice your son and girlfriend are maintaining a nice friendship, and nice for their dogs, too!
 
Oh I am pleased to read your dog is better . I went through 2 years of that and so long as they are happy and not in pain it's great .
Hope R had a good time . Dogs are a great bond .
Hope you continue calm
 
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