Cate's Diary

Hi, Marsia. I hope it works out with his Dad. I haven't mentioned it to him yet. The kids are on holidays in a couple of weeks. I was really close to my father's childless aunt & uncle especially. I grew up with lots of love from my extended family.
Hi, Petal. I think I'm just learning to cope with the roller coaster. Thank you for your lovely compliment. Being a grandmother is much easier than being a mother. I hope I'm a good nan xoxo
 
I know you are a good nan - you care so much and have so much to offer! I wonder what kind of a grandmother I will be. I was having a fun time last night with my daughter's friend being a back up singer and we were play-annoying her mother with the repetitive ditty we were singing together, oooh, la, la, la, oooh, la, la, la, oooh, la, la,..." I bet it's nice borrowing a kid for a few days and spoiling them!
 
Glad to hear you enjoyed your time with the grandkids. I've struggled this week myself with emotions taking over. For me, it was anger. I tried deep breathing, talking myself down, and I still got into a strop today. Sometimes you just have to feel it and try again tomorrow. But ruminating constantly is something you really should work on. It doesn't change anything.
 
Thank you Marsia. I do care a lot about our GK's & I'm sure they know that. Borrowing other people's kids is much less stressful than bringing up your own. You do have a chance to influence them & to give them more time. I only spoil them with attention really, which is better than my father's parents who spoiled us with expensive presents that my parents couldn't afford. I never want to undermine either of their parents. Ooh la la la, ooh, la la. I love it! Have you ever seen the movie "Twenty Feet From Stardom"? It's excellent.
Hi, Em. I got emotional today too, but am turning it into a bloody positive. I am not playing golf on a Saturday again, no matter who asks me or who is sponsoring the day & I am not putting up with aggression from the captain out at the golf club again. I'm over rumination & overthinking. Making decisions that protect yourself is a much better idea.
I was in so much physical pain today playing & really do need to see if there is anything I can do about my arthritis. I could barely walk at the end of 18 holes. It was very hot & humid too. I'll make an appointment with the other doctor soon.
Edit- made one online just then.
 
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Hi Cate, I bookmarked "Twenty Feet From Stardom" - it looks really good!

It's great to hear you are standing up for yourself so much and that you are taking action so you don't ruminate in general. Really hard to do, but so worth it! I hope your new therapist helps you find ways to learn to relax that work for you, as stress makes arthritis flare up, as I am sure you are aware. Are you icing the painful places or taking hot baths for the stiffness? I hope it gets better quickly! Have you tried anti-inflammatory foods and spices in your diet like turmeric and ginger? I just bought fresh turmeric root for the first time, and it is so delicious in Indian dishes! I wish doctors were required to have more than a 4 hour course in nutrition, because there are so many foods that heal, and traditional doctors tend to ignore so much of that.

I agree with spoiling with individualized attention, not things you buy with money. I feel the same. We just said no to going to another play with everyone this weekend. We need some sleep-in time and some good quality time together with no homework or projects due.

Anyway, hope you feel better and are getting rest and nice down time!!
 
You are doing so well on actually making appointments for stuff you need to get looked at even though you don't really want to! Boo to that bloody captain.
 
Hi, Marsia. You will love Twenty Feet From Stardom" I have watched it 3 or 4 times.
I'm standing up for myself more & more & also wearing brighter colours & different clothes & getting used to it. I am actually looking forward to seeing the therapist. I have to make sure that I write down lots of notes before I go so that I don't sound like I have my shit together 100% & fool her.
I have been having either fresh or dried turmeric every day, along with apple cider vinegar, & rose hip capsules. There are too many painful places to ice I'm afraid. I'll try again to get to the bottom of the inflammation. I am going to try to make a new start with this new doctor.
I am feeling good today. Our house feels so different without our little dog, but it's not in a bad way, just different. I was so used to trying not to disturb her all the time.
It is the golf club presentation day next Saturday & I am not going to go. Instead, I will drop G off in the morning & pick him back up in the afternoon when I drop our GS off at work. I won't tell G yet. I won't go into all the details why, but if the general committee & the captain are not considering the women, then I won't consider them.

Hi, LaMa. I am getting better at making appointments. I let myself get angry yesterday at the captain, & I am going to remove myself from contact with him as much as it is possible. I think he thrives on confrontation & aggression & being in his presence is unhealthy for me. It would not matter what I said to him he would be aggressive in return. Self-preservation is high on my priority list from now on.

G & I are having a day at home & our OS has borrowed our Ute, so G can't do any major physical work around the place :)
It's a beautiful day & there is so much bird activity. I love Sundays & Summer!
 
Hi Cate, We watched "20 Feet From Stardom" and it was so good, we'll watch it again with my husband! So wonderful and sad, too. It's sort of the fate of a lot of creative people, I think.

Sorry you are in pain, and I hope it subsides quickly. Do you think you need to try an elimination diet or something like that to make sure it isn't food allergies? Anyway, glad you are standing up to the nasty bully and also giving yourself a break from all that!!! No need to put up with crap like that!

Hope you had a lovely, relaxing day with G!!
 
I'm glad you enjoyed it. So many people, but especially women, live in the shadows & get so little recognition.
I have never seen a specialist for my arthritis but will ask for a referral on Thursday. I have tried most of the recommended natural "remedies" & will try cutting out anything if it helps.
I have had a lovely day, thanks Marsia xoxo
 
There is a certain type of artist who copies what made other people famous, and they smooze and sell themselves, and they tend to succeed, and they are generally white and male. I liked this movie so much because it is about the majority of artists who just love art and just want to do their craft. And like you said, it is about women and how we often don't fit into that ultra-extroverted model of selling oneself, and that isn't who many of us are, and if we were, it would still be a massive uphill battle. It stinks that being creative usually doesn't pay enough to pay the rent unless you are producing a useful, usable product. It's sad that being a productive member of society and being creative are often mutually exclusive because there just aren't enough hours in a day or enough energy to do both. And with corporate interests sneaking in to politics, it doesn't seem that this is likely to change in the near future.
 
Marsia- I know. I agree with all that you said. Creativity was valued much more centuries ago & the world has gone backwards in so many ways. Earning lots of money seems to be valued more than character & talent these days. I really value creative people& it's a shame there is not more support. I love my conversations with you xoxo

I woke up this morning having a bad dream about that bloody captain! I can't let him get into my subconscious & will ask for help with dealing with him too when I see the counsellor. It is not good for me letting him get under my skin. I think I'll treat him like I do perfume- avoidance is best.

I was very light-headed & my heart was racing yesterday morning & took my blood pressure just before lunch & it was quite high. After lunch, it was very low. This morning I ate a small breakfast & it was about what it should be. I'll ask the new doctor on Thursday if skipping breakfast might be affecting my BP meds.
G & I are going to "town" today to buy a box of frozen salmon fillets & something else for Christmas, maybe some presents for the kids. I think we'll spend the day at home. I have invited our OGS to call in for breakfast, lunch or dinner with a friend or friends & he sounded keen. We'll stock up on nibblies like good cheese, ham, olives, prawns etc. I have no idea if D is calling in with the littlies or not, but I will let him know that he doesn't have to. They can come another day & can spend the day relaxing & not driving to here if they would prefer.
 
I love conversations with you, too!

I really hope your blood pressure stabilizes, and hopefully you can still fast in the mornings. Maybe it was up from the rotten dream you had. It's like even the idea of him gives you high blood pressure. I hope you don't have to deal with him anymore. Sounds like a pill.

I love Christmas shopping for kids. Hope it was fun for you guys!!!
 
We bought presents for the "littlies" in the first store we went to. It's one of their favourite stores & we were very happy with our purchases. We did lots of food shopping mostly & also bought a food present for our older GS & we dropped it off at his house along the way home. He may as well have it now as it's a 5kg box of healthy Atlantic Salmon fillets. A very practical present. We also bought some zucchini & sugar snap pea seedlings & some different sorts of potting mix. I ordered some Tasmanian seeds online yesterday & am going to have a crack at growing my own Tasmanian native plants from seed, which I can also give as presents. I really don't know why I haven't done so before.
We bought salmon for ourselves & tiger prawns, ham, lots of yummy cheeses, marinated olives.......plus our usual lots of veggies & some champagne.
It's good to be back home again. We won't be doing any more Christmas shopping.
 
All that food sounds lovely!
About the creativity/art thing: as far as I can tell it's been kind of a luxury for at least the past 2000 years. I know how my parents, grandparents and greatparents grew up and they never would have found time for creativity unless they could find ways to work it into their jobs. 90% or so of the population tended to be happy to be able to make ends meet by working form dawn till dusk. Even painting and sculpting were not-very-highly-regarded crafts for most of the time (with a couple of rare exceptions). Art for the sake of art hardly existed until about 100 years ago. Maybe in the iron age, but only because we don't know why they made what they made. Let's be thankful we live in an age where individual freedom is a thing, even if politics and moneygrabbers try hard to push us back into serfdom.
 
Hi Cate sorry to hear about your BP . Mine is constantly high right now but I'm starting my tests tomorrow . I feel anxious about mine due to history of heart disease and strokes in the family .
Good luck with all your planned appointments.
Lovely shopping you did all sounds yummy . And well done for standing up for yourself . I have flashbacks to my lash out last week . I still not sure if I was right but I was made a complete doormat off . Needless to say I have heard no communication since but reality is I do not need that person in my life so like you avoidance is the cure .
 
I love the idea of native plants for presents! And I am looking forward to buying veggie sprouts for the garden - makes me happy hearing about what you are putting in!

I guess the one area where creativity was being supported was the Church was supporting artists to do illustrative work, but we don't really have anything like that anymore. When I was little, there were music and arts exchanges between Russia and the US and between other countries in the name of diplomacy and promoting understanding. I wish we could have forward thinkers doing things like that that promote cultural exchanges between nations. It would be so easy and it really helps. We really are in a good position in many places to create a global Renaissance, but most people don't think to bring people together through the arts.

Hope all goes well for both of you with the blood pressure. One of the hard parts is figuring out how to relax to help bring it back down instead of worrying! If I had kept going and became a psychologist, I think that is the area I would have specialized in - how to rid oneself of anxiety and learn to relax.

Cate, hope you are enjoying all the delectable foods!
 
The thing about art for the church (and other rich patrons) is that it was a craft like any other - sculpting, tapestry, woodworking - with little room for artistic expression as we'd recognize it. I fully agree, however, that more room for art and creativity would be healthy for our minds and society!
 
Hi, LaMa, Marsia & Petal.
I will ask the new doc is taking my BP meds at lunch-time would be a better idea. I have been looking it up & have seen that you should never take medication at the same time as you take supplements & I always do. I would be embarrassed to tell the doc how many supplements I am taking at the moment, & I am going to try to cut them down. Maybe taking my BP meds last thing at night would be a better idea. I'll ask.
Apparently, the "plan" at this stage is for our older son to come up to our house Christmas afternoon for an early dinner, with his kids, his GF & her youngest. This may change depending on her 2 older daughters. He hardly gave me a chance to say anything, but I wanted him to know that we were not pressuring them to come at all. You can see he is under stress.
I'm feeling pretty good this morning & not hungry so am taking lunch with me to vets golf & will have it when I get back to the club after a small fruit shop. We could not buy fruit yesterday & bring it back home as it is a temporary (everyone hopes) fruit-fly zone. It is such a shame as the best cherries & strawberries are within this area!
Almost time to go.
 
Wow, sorry you missed out on fresh cherries. Hope you find nice fresh fruit today! Please don't feel embarrassed about the supplements - you are showing that you really work at taking care of yourself! I get stressed at all the people in my in-law's family who see Christmas as rushing around trying to get to everyone's house, and you can tell they aren't really into it. I wish Christmas were more relaxing for people.

Happy golfing!!
 
Don't feel embarrassed but do talk to your doctor about them! Many supplements are expensive but have no real-life benefits.
 
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