Cate's Diary

It seems you're adjusting to your new lifestyle. Honestly, so many people take for granted a lot of every day things; something so simple as going to the grocery store, or visiting a friend is something a lot of us just come to expect as something we'll always be able to do. I can't imagine how difficult it must be, but you're a stronger woman than I in that regard. Happy to hear your outing went well!
 
I'm probably not any stronger than anyone else & I also think we are all stronger than we think. It doesn't mean that I might not get upset, angry, frustrated.....at any time.
Today we got an "emergency" call for G to pick up the kids off the bus as it was raining, so of course he did &, yes, he noticed that they really smelled, so he drove home with the windows open. GAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!! Our son really needs to "get it" & start using the fragrance-free products I have provided.
It will really hurt me if I can't see our grand-kids!
 
The positive thing about this: G noticed. And I´m sure the kids noticed that he noticed. It´s a bit of a process, but you´ll all get there.
 
I'm so sorry that your son hasn't been taking your allergy seriously. Actually, Lama brings up a good point. Kids notice things. Explain to the kids that you have a medical problem with fragranced soap and they might push mom and dad to use the fragrance free stuff.
 
Thanks, LaMa & Cory.
I reacted without thinking about it really. The kids had come off the bus from school & had stayed at their mother's the 4 nights prior to that. There is nothing much they or our son can do really about what products their Mum uses. When they were together she always used hyper-allergenic & natural stuff. Perhaps the residual smell is coming from their school clothes which D does wash on Thursday & Friday nights. I'll provide him with more stuff & ask him to give away the old smelly washing powder. I had covered the back seats with towels before he went down to pick them up & I noticed today there was no residual smell in the car, so that's a relief.

I received a letter from the medical centre today which was both really positive & a real surprise. I'll copy it out after the weekend and share it with you. The staff are all being asked not to wear fragrance to work. It seems they are prepared to try to make it so that I can continue to go to the medical centre. I'll give it lots of thought. They have said that they will still need to use disinfectants because of the nature of their work, but I may be able to stop them using spray "deodoriser" in my doctor's room at least. I am really glad that I wrote the letter & I would have been disappointed if they had not replied & at least tried to make changes. I supplied them with lots of information & hospital guidelines, discrimination guidelines etc & they seem to have taken notice.

I'm actually starting to feel quite a bit better. I'm really looking forward to a couple of nights away. :)
 
That´s real good news! Disinfectants truly are a necessity in any medical setting, but the fact that they reacted - in writing - and came up with stuff they could do to help you is very positive. I hope it´s enough.
 
I do too LaMa, but I feel hopeful at least, whereas I had given up on them really. It seemed like too big a battle. My letter was heartfelt.
 
cate said:
I received a letter from the medical centre today which was both really positive & a real surprise. I'll copy it out after the weekend and share it with you. The staff are all being asked not to wear fragrance to work. It seems they are prepared to try to make it so that I can continue to go to the medical centre
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That's amazing! I say still consider seeking the help of a specialist, but perhaps stop by the medical center and see how their new approach works for you. Unfortunately, disinfectants are something that can't be negotiated in the medical field, but maybe even just a reduction in the deodorizers and fragrances will make visiting tolerable enough? Either way, I'm so happy they really considered your predicament and have made an attempt to accommodate you.
 
I am happy that they are prepared to make an attempt to accommodate me too. They shouldn't be discriminating against anyone. There are fragrance-free hand sanitisers that they could be using that are as effective as the fragranced ones. A fragrance is just a masking agent. Somehow in this crazy world, we live in, people seem to think that if something smells fragrant it is clean.
I most likely will go see a GP who specialises in allergies as well as sticking with the local medical centre for regular stuff. I may change altogether, but it's not convenient. I'll see. I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere new & start all over, but then, I'm also not in a hurry to go back either. It may or may not be worth it to see some change in their procedures.

Anyhow, on a different note- I had an absolutely lovely 2 nights & 3 days away. The East coast of Tasmania is stunningly beautiful! The accommodation was facing the ocean on top of a hill & they had done a really good job of having the room fairly FF. The air purifier did the job of removing the residual smells, which were in & around the basin & shower. They were very hospitable & friendly. Breakfast was excellent & included in the price. We managed to get 2 nights for the price of 1 deal & we were slightly embarrassed about that as they were so obliging. We gave them a bottle of bubbly as thanks for the care they took.
I also managed to play 18 holes of golf & just had a lovely few days. I encountered perfume along the way but sucked on Bisolvin for dry cough lozenges, which have a drug in them that seems to block your senses & reduce reactions. They are not good for you I'm sure, but I survived the encounters & had fun.

Today I'm feeling a bit under the weather, but I'm going with G to his Vets golf & will see how I go. They are expecting me & M has said he won't wear his aftershave, which he usually drowns himself in. I can stay home for the next whatever after today if I want to or need to. I will at least 2 days anyway minimum.
 
It sounds like you had a wonderful getaway. The place you stayed sounds lovely (especially the location - I bet the view was spectacular!) and the fact that they were so accommodating was such a nice thing for them to do. A lot of people these days just don't care. I personally could never get into golf, but the idea of playing a round of it has always seemed nice in my head. I'm glad you had fun!
 
Fragranced hand sanitizers? :eek: I didn´t even know such an abomination existed. Anything strong enough to cover the scent of your average disinfectant must be pretty awful. So glad to hear your trip went well!
 
Unstoppable said:
It sounds like you had a wonderful getaway. The place you stayed sounds lovely (especially the location - I bet the view was spectacular!) and the fact that they were so accommodating was such a nice thing for them to do. A lot of people these days just don't care. I personally could never get into golf, but the idea of playing a round of it has always seemed nice in my head. I'm glad you had fun!
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It was lovely. It is such a beautiful place & they really did care. I'll try to add some photos, but am not sure if they'll be too big or not. I was never interested in playing golf either, until a bit over 5 years ago. It gets under your skin & I am now addicted.
LaMaria said:
Fragranced hand sanitizers? :eek: I didn´t even know such an abomination existed. Anything strong enough to cover the scent of your average disinfectant must be pretty awful. So glad to hear your trip went well!
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YEP. They do. I think more than 9 out of 10 hand sanitisers in Australia are SO fragranced that it's a wonder anyone can breathe.
The trip was just wonderful LaMa.
 
Yesterday I had another major reaction. We haven't been able to light our Lopi wood heater as it was blocked. I hadn't minded this as I was very nervous about it, considering everything I had been reacting to in the last 5 weeks. The guy came (unfragranced) & didn't use any chemicals on the heater, but when G lit it, it emitted the most pungent, overpowering chemical fumes, that once again tipped me over the edge. In the interests of truth & in the midst of my collapse, I really felt like my life was not worth living. We were both so upset! I sat outside in the cold howling for ages.
It settled down after a couple of hours & I was able to be in the same room, with the air purifier blowing in my face.
This morning I am just sneezing a bit & a bit itchy & I am going to turn it up later & go outside, leaving the doors & windows wide open. I think it will be ok. It is certainly working much more efficiently after the service. G will be very cautious about how he loads it from now on as well as I think he has always had it turned down too far & loaded up too much at night. I'm also going to buy a Smartburn to put inside it & a firebrick to rest it on.
I looked up heat pumps etc last night, but I have trouble with them too & we get all of our own wood & have no immediate neighbours.

Today I am back to feeling like I can cope with it all, but I have had some very despairing moments & probably will again. Our younger son had sent me a message around midday yesterday- "I love you so much, Mum. You're amazingly strong & I think you do so well with what you have to deal with in day to day life. Not everyone could deal with it so well. It's pretty impressive. I so wish that I got to see you more often. It would be really nice being able to spend more time with you & Dad. I'm starting work soon, but I wanted you to know how much I love you & appreciate you." I'm glad he didn't see me later on. Love. Love is what keeps me going. No matter what, I need to focus on that. I just have to keep finding ways to cope with whatever comes my way.

I'm going to tackle a little bit of gardening today & had better get moving. G is playing in a golf comp in "town" & will be gone all day. I have strict instructions that I am not to go up a ladder as I was thinking about cleaning the dust off the beams in our bedroom. He's right. Not a good idea. Staying at ground level is a better idea.
 
cate said:
Our younger son had sent me a message around midday yesterday- "I love you so much, Mum. You're amazingly strong & I think you do so well with what you have to deal with in day to day life. Not everyone could deal with it so well. It's pretty impressive. I so wish that I got to see you more often. It would be really nice being able to spend more time with you & Dad. I'm starting work soon, but I wanted you to know how much I love you & appreciate you." I'm glad he didn't see me later on. Love. Love is what keeps me going. No matter what, I need to focus on that. I just have to keep finding ways to cope with whatever comes my way.
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That was such a lovely message from your son. You really are so strong for what you have to deal with, and it's wonderful how he's recognized that. You never really appreciate someone until you're faced with the reality of their struggles. Honestly, love is - or should be - what keeps us going, and I hope you know how much you are loved, both by your family and all of us here!
 
Sorry to hear that, Cate. I´m afraid it´s impossible to avoid reactions like that completely. We can only reduce the frequency as much as possibly. I´m so happy you and R support each other so well. :grouphug:
 
Unstoppable said:
That was such a lovely message from your son. You really are so strong for what you have to deal with, and it's wonderful how he's recognized that. You never really appreciate someone until you're faced with the reality of their struggles. Honestly, love is - or should be - what keeps us going, and I hope you know how much you are loved, both by your family and all of us here!
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That is very kind & sweet of you to say unstoppable.
LaMaria said:
Sorry to hear that, Cate. I´m afraid it´s impossible to avoid reactions like that completely. We can only reduce the frequency as much as possibly. I´m so happy you and R support each other so well. :grouphug:
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Unfortunately, it is impossible to avoid these triggers LaMa. I think I can cope with exposures a little better when I'm away from home as I now expect them. Having such a strong reaction in what is now my haven really surprised & upset me. R & I really understand & appreciate one another. I would love him to find someone to fall in love with, who would love him back & see him for the kind & loving soul that he is.

I got 2 more phone calls from golfing women today, asking how I am. I'm aiming to play golf with the women week after next, but I won't go in the clubhouse. I'll play with M & K & text them the night before. M has bought a fragrance-free deodorant especially. K says she never wears perfume & doesn't use fabric softener. I actually feel missed & I know I miss my golf.
 
This is without a doubt the most trying & challenging time of my life.
I honestly don't know how my sister copes. I hope I learn fast!
I can see that we'll have to get a heat pump as I can't tolerate the wood heater. Luckily the next few days are going to be warmer so we are letting it go out tonight. The smoke outside the house had me trapped inside today on what was a beautiful sunny day.
If this doesn't drive me crazy I'll be amazed! I am Soooo itchy!
 
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