Cate's Diary

Hi Sam & good news about you re-starting Cohen's. You know it works so it's a smart decision. I'm not sad about the op shop. I'm a bit relieved actually. Life is to be enjoyed. Speaking of grandkids I have to go pick our eldest one up in about 10 mins. Cheers for now, Cate.
 
Onya Cate for dropping something you weren't enjoying. Life is too short to spend it on things that have no tangible benefit. We COULD be cuddling grandchildren!!!

Heard from mine tonight - way up north on a very scratchy satellite phone. Something about "fish" and "octopus" and "big holiday". Very cute! I have very empty arms at the moment!
 
Oh Niyah, I have felt that way about my YS instead. Night before last he was on FB but "too busy" to chat to me & last night he was crabby as things weren't going his way 100% & I told him not to 'get his knickers in a twist' about it (leaving his camera charger in Amsterdam & blaming someone else plus his South African tour being cancelled) & that he'll have to just buy another charger & use his phone in the meantime. Quote "Phone? What phone?" That would be the one he took with him, without its' sim card, so that he could look at his photos of all of us on it. He took his charger for that as well. I had looked up another SA tour which was a little shorter & the dates were almost the same for his flights. He just ignored that. Then I told him that I had organised his tax return & how much he was going to get. He queried it & was shocked that I had put his bank interest on it. All in all it wasn't a really fun 'conversation' and I said to him that if he wanted to be dishonest he asked the wrong person to do his tax return. He said "obviously. LOL" but I don't think he was laughing at all.
I think he was having a 'chat' with his old gf at the same time & I have a feeling she probably told him off for being so negative as I messaged him that I was tired & was going to bed at 11.15pm and he didn't come back to me & even say goodnight, let alone a "love you, Mum" like I normally get. I felt really sad about that. I had felt even worse the night before as I was just recovering from the migraine. I slept badly last night.
I thought of you during the night also Niyah but that made me smile as I was getting up the 2nd time. Today I'm drinking most of my water early!! At least I did have a good dose of grandson love last night. There is nothing else like it in the whole world. xoxoCate
P.S. I have his tax return sitting next to me. If it wasn't for the $100 invoice sitting with it I would rip it up & leave it to him when he gets back. Suggestions?
Today-
I have cooked my GS a breakfast of 2 mushrooms, 2 slices of tomato, 2 eggs, 1 slice of lean bacon & 2 slices of Burgen toast. Then cooked the same for my husband. Both had a glass of juice. Then I took our GS to the bus, came home & had yoghurt with apple & a banana, sprinkled with a little LSA, followed by a coffee.
Exercise-
I did 5+km on my bike plus 2 sets of maximum reps of my weights, including 6 new ones. I was sweaty & a bit puffed but boy am I getting stronger & better at them. It's much better now that I have seen her again & checked that I am doing them right. A couple are much easier when you know to suck in your stomach at the right time. I am learning heaps & I am absolutely loving how I am feeling.
I really do recommend doing this after you finish the program as it's so much fun. There is no way known I could have done it on Cohen's. I can't believe how well this 56 year old is feeling & how my muscles are toning.
Wee hoo is what I say!!
Since doing the weights I have done the dishes, done some washing. I know that I will go for a big walk after lunch. I feel so positive & energised. Exercise does make you hungry but it's ok now if I do get hungry. I don't necessarily eat something. I usually have a big drink of water & that gets me by. If I'm still hungry half an hour later I might have a couple of crackers or an apple & that does the trick.
Lunch today is going to be a tuna salad. Dinner tonight is a little rice (I plate this up myself or my LH gives me too much) with West African Chicken, broccoli, cauli & carrots. Somewhere in the mix, possibly twice, will be some yoghurt & fruit & I think it being Friday it may be wine o'clock at about 6pm. That will be after having a little protein first. Gotta love Cohen's maintenance guidelines!!
Cheers, Cate
 
The best laid plans of mice & men-
Well my day got slightly derailed. I stewed a bit over my son & typed him a long & honest message on FB. It went into the ether & I lost the lot. I bawled my eyes out & went & had lunch. I had a tuna salad, but without the tuna. I had a boiled egg & an avocado instead in it. Nicer with tuna but I didn't want to open a large can as we are at the footy tomorrow plus I used up all the salad greens. I drank another water bottle (thanks Niyah) & then went back to the computer & typed it out all over again & sent it. Sometimes I think we protect our sons too much & they should learn to consider our feelings & they will become better men for it. I sent it & it will be interesting to see what he says in return. I didn't say stop being such a bloody sook but I did give him a fairly big pep talk & hopefully he will be more positive & also more considerate.
I was chewing my bottom lip as I was typing & have bitten it. I do this when I'm worried or stressed.
I decided that the best way to blow off steam after that was exercise so I went for a 4.5km (a record!!) walk. It's always up & down mostly steep hills. It took me 55mins. Today I got back up our steep driveway without stopping again but was walking fairly slowly by the time I got home I must admit.
Our tax return was in the letterbox. Nice. Plus the exercise physio had mailed me copies of my new exercises blown up so I could see them w/o my glasses. I'll email her now to thank her. She's such a sweety.
I'm sure I'll be back later as my husband will find a football match to watch.
Cheers for now, Cate
Mission accomplished. Steam blown away!!
 
Hi Cate!
I'm just dropping in quickly..I'm at work hehe ;)
Hope everything is well!
I'm struggling soo much with my diet, and i just dunno why. I feel so weak these days lol
I promised myself that from today i'm sticking to it 100%. I need to stabilize now. It's a mindshift - i did it before and i can surely do it again!
Thank u for all your inspiration :)
*hugs*
 
Luvbug, I think you're struggling because you need more food. Email or ring your clinic & ask for some tips to get you through until you have stabilised & can do re-feed. PM me if you need some advice to get you through the week-end. I'll check back later. Whatever you do don't eat anything other than food that is on the plan xo Cate
 
Hi Cate!
You seem a little down the last few days, and i hope that your ok! I think exercise is a great way to deal with stress, endorphins and all that!!

Reading your post mad me feel so bad, as i can some times be a bit rude to my mum.... She does so much for me and every now and then i get really ratty with her!! Seeing you get upset over it mad me feel terrible!!
Maybe i will ring her in a bit and let her know how much she does for me and how much i appreciate it!!!

Hope your feeling better soon cate! Chin up....
Jim
 
Hi Cate

Thanks for paying me a visit even though I can see you have alot on your plate.
Is that YS of yours still giving you a hard time????
I still remember the tattoo saga....

Kids they will worry as right up till the end I imagine.
I hope he answers you back asap and he takes responsibilities for his actions.

Hope you get a better nights sleep as well.

Oh by the way I'm so sure I had another diary set up from 2006!!!..maybe it's gone into the acchives. This one was started when I started gaining a few kilos...after refeed.

Keep well now.
Sam:)
 
Hi Jim, That's really sweet of you & very intuitive. I have been feeling down but it probably has been a combination of a few things rather than just my son. I know that he loves me but he does offload a lot onto me & then forgets to share the good things. It's really nice that it has spurred you into ringing your mum so that's a big positive. She will love it. Unfortunately when we feel down the first one we think of is usually Mum. I know I do when I feel sick. I get on very well with mine but I must admit that my mum annoys me more than almost anyone else so I have been just as guilty.
I have been stressing about the op shop & fighting saying that I haven't enjoyed it as I don't like to be seen as a quitter. Plus I have been having allergic reactions to perfumes & then the migraine was such a shock. I never quite know if it's allergies or a cold or what.
It's quite possible that my son merely ran out of credit last night as, apparently I just missed him tonight as his credit had run out. That was the main reason i got crabby with him. The fact that he didn't say goodbye to me or say anything when I said I loved him but was tired & had to go. I think I got my knickers in a twist over very little.
Oh well. Hopefully he'll cope with the lecture I gave him about taking responsibilty & being positive etc etc. I'm afraid I did tell him exactly what I thought but in the nicest possible way. I hope!
Thank you very much for your post Jim. I really appreciated that! Cheers, Cate
By the way I love your avatar. I'll save it when I'm on my own laptop next!
Sam-
Hi. I don't have that much on my plate really. I just let things get on top of me occasionally or maybe I get overly sensitive with my boys. You care more about your kids than you do anyone else & you worry about them more when they're older because there's more to worry about. He's ok though. He's got a lovely soul & he's usually very positive & loving. He just offloaded this time when I was feeling in need of some TLC. We'll be right. I said what I felt needed saying. Sometimes I think that I love him too much! I'm over the tattoo these days & joke about it being nowhere near as bad as a heroin addiction. I tell him that I love him but I don't have to love his tattoo & he's fine with that. I can see it's a work of art but will always think it would have been better to have that art hanging up on a wall.
Re your old diary. I haven't spotted it in my travels around the forum even recently when I was searching for distractions. If I see it I'll let you know. Have you searched your own profile? Threads started by Nans68? I'll have a look later. Cheers, cate.

I have a bit of a headache tonight I must admit but it feels like a sinusy thing. I will get an early(ish) night I think. Have a good weekend everyone, cheers, cate
 
Cate, I wasn't going to comment tonight - have a heap to do - but it will only take me a few minutes and what's a few minutes more???

If he wanted you to do the tax return, and he's not here, I'd just put it in the way you've prepared it. You can do no more. And much as he may have grizzled about it, I think they do learn to respect us for taking the honest approach and doing what's right. They eventually learn it's the better way to be about EVERYTHING - even tax!

I'm sure, as you said, he was mainly having a download. I have found when overseas that every now and then I get to "saturation point" with everything being different, harder, and more complications about everything you do. Even the language differences drive you crazy after a while! You just long for what's familiar. So I can understand that a couple of minor setbacks (or bigger in the case of SA) have made him feel quite frustrated and down. He's sure, having vented, to make some mental adjustments and set some new sights. I will admit that, much as I enjoy travel, nothing feels as good as the very familiar "G'day" from the Aussie customs people as you step off the plane! Some I can UNDERSTAND AND RELATE TO!!!

I also find it hard to know when to start and stop being "supportive" and "buy into" issues, and when to just step back and say "What are you going to do about that?". I have learnt over the past 10 years to be much less reactionary, that's for sure. I might still think things, but don't necessarily feel I have to say them out loud anymore. Whatever their problems, alive and .... tattooed....smoking....piercing....etc is probably better than immaculate and dead. But it's a hard mind set to get right at times.

Well, off to get work done - hope your weekend is much more relaxing, and you enjoy the footy. Saints looking a bit depleted though!!!
 
Hi Niyah. You're right of course. I don't expect him to be perfect. No-one is. The tattoo etc is irrelevant. I love him whatever he does or says. I always will. You want your kids to be good people. They mean more to you than anyone else. I might ring him tonight as I saw a contact number on FB for his friend in London & I think he's there today. I'll wait until it's after lunch though.
We just got back from seeing the Saints beat Hawthorn fairly convincingly. 19 games straight! Wow! Well done WC too Niyah!
We caught up with some special friends at the footy today & had a couple of drinks with them in our local town on the way home. That was lovely. We only had a coffee at the footy & water & decided not to bother about alcohol. OMG! Watching people eat dagwood dogs, covered with tomato sauce & pies, hot chips etc almost made me throw up! Gross! It really makes me shudder now watching people eat that rubbish!
The pub we called in at is the one I am having my husband's 60th at. We feel so comfortable & welcome there. I am really happy with my decision to have his party there. i am really looking forward to it. I have a list of all the people that we are inviting in my phone under 'notes' & I check it when we catch up with friends just to make sure that they are on the list before I mention it to them. There's about 100 on the list & I'm sure we'll offend someone by not inviting them but it's unavoidable really. There are a few I wouldn't invite really but my LH has said he thinks they should be there. He's into doing the right thing all the time. He's more diplomatic than me. I think we should only invite people we actually want to be there. It would still be around 100.
I'm 'socially excited' tonight & had better go before I really rave on. 3 glasses of red wine is probably my limit these days. 2 in the pub & 1 since I got home.
We have had a dinner of rabbit casserole with a little rice, cauliflower, carrot & a zucchini/mushroom/celery/onion etc stir-fry and I can hear snoring(x2)....my LH & 1 of our dogs. I feel wide awake. Alcohol does that to me & catching up with friends. I felt good today. Got some nice compliments. I am used to feeling slim at last I realised today.
There is something I have been meaning to say & I keep forgetting. At least 3 times in the last month or so I have been told by 3 different people that they can't imagine me ever being overweight. I think that is wonderful but am always shocked. I still feel defined by how I used to be & bring it into a conversation often. I think I should stop doing so. It's time to let it go.
Today a woman said "you've lost a little weight since I saw you last" and I should have just left it at that but said "well, yes 36kg, but that was 2 years ago" and then felt bad. It would be best if i just said "yes, I have" and just let it go. I must learn to do so in a better way.
I am so sure that I will never be fat ever again.
Very little exercise today but will make up for it tomorrow.
Goodnight all, Cate.
 
My day-Was not very energetic at all as I had a headache again. My Mum said she had her first ever migraine at about my age & found out it was caused by needing new glasses. I have been meaning to ring to make an appointment to see my Optometrist for about a year I reckon. I've been putting it off mainly because of the cost. I noticed at the footy that I am now really struggling with my long vision now. I had to keep looking up at the screen. I'll bite the bullet & ring tomorrow.
Exercise- It was 2.30pm & I forced myself to get on my stationary bike & did 5kms. I then did one set of weights & was going to quit. I filled out my exercise chart & then thought "No bugger it. I can do" & then did another set. I was puffed & very tired but felt much better mentally. I then went outside & pottered around for a while, loaded up the ute with wood & then had a rest & a read of the paper. When my LH got home he jumper-leaded the ute & we unloaded it. In the meantime it poured with rain so it was very wet wood I'm afraid. Time for a new ute battery I think. We really just use it as a big wheelbarrow. It's not registered.
Food today-
For my breakfast this morning I had a yoghurt/soy milk/kiwi fruit/raw egg smoothie. First time I've made one. I quite enjoyed it.
Lunch was a tuna & avocado salad & an orange.
Dinner tonight rabbit casserole with lots of vegies & a little rice.
Sunday nights we have some chocolate- Lindt Dark Mint 1 big square, Lindt 70% cocoa filled, 1 square, 1 Le Petit Ecolier choc biscuit(dark choc) & a stick of molasses licorice. Licorice is something I now eat every day. We both have 1 piece every night with our herbal tea.
It is possible to have treats & stay slim. We limit chocolate to one night a week.
Tomorrow-
I will try to go for a walk tomorrow. I have to go do some shopping. Our fridge is looking sad! I might walk in town instead of up here. I'll wear my runners instead of my hiking boots.
Goodnight folks. I hope everyone had a good w/e. Cheers, cate
 
I did a big shop this morning but came home at lunch time with another headache. I think it is because of allergies as I got it in the supermarket. I had to go down the aisle with all of the detergents etc to get rubber gloves.
I rang my optometrist to make an appointment anyway as I know I do need new glasses. I can't see him until until November.
I'm struggling at the moment I must admit. I don't feel depressed really, just a little unmotivated & possibly lazy & flat. I guess it's hard to maintain feeling up 100% of the time. I might allow myself a day off pushing myself, instead of beating myself up about it. Tomorrow is another day. In fact I might even allow myself a 'Nana nap' after I take some Paracetemol. I'll be back later I think, xo Cate
 
Or maybe I might just see if I could win in a bid for an exercise mat on eBay. Yes!! That worked!! Just given myself the spur I needed to go hop on my bike, literally. Better take some headache pills though. Funny how it's faded just a tad....LOL...I still need a resistance band(green) .....no Cate, look later! On that bike! Cheers!
 
Hiya Cate...I had the bad headaches during detox...but yours would be something else I imagine. Hope you get some relief from it soon.

And thank you for checking up on me in my diary.

It seems weird being back here...dejavu:)...

Sam:)
 
Cate, sorry about the headaches and hope you can find a way to get rid of them soon.

Yes, Saints doing very well, and both teams in the west had a great weekend. Abysmal Cats, though. Run out of steam, that's for sure.

I'm exhausted from the weekend, so not hanging around today. Have a good rest and hope you start feeling better.
 
Hey Cate!
Sorry to hear your feeling a bit low! But like you say its hard being up and energetic every day! I think every one has down days and every feels like giving up and doing nothing and so on, no matter if they are dieting, not dieting or maintaining a new life!!
Do you still have your old cloths?? Why not try some of them on! I know that this is some thing i will do often when i am at my goal weight! lol

Head aches can bring you down as well. So let’s hope they clear up soon!

Do you have any hobbies Cate except for fitness?? A hobby can make the world of difference when your feeling a little down!! Some thing to focus on!!

Hope you start to feel better soon Cate!!
 
Hi Sam, Niyah & Jim. Thanks for your posts in my diary. I love them!! If no-one posted in my diary I would quit.
I am not feeling down. I feel a little annoyed with myself for letting my son know how I felt (again Niyah I know, I know.) It always backfires because then I don't hear from him at all & that's much worse than listening to him being negative! I just want to hear his voice really. I miss being able to pick up the phone & just talk to him. I'll never take that for granted ever again.
I have lots of hobbies but exercise is the one that makes me feel the best. Combining riding the exercise bike with a good book is a great compromise. All positive. I think I should spend less time on the computer as that won't be helping my eyes at all, if that's what is causing the headaches. I have no idea really.
Everything is fine with me. I feel fairly positive & happy. I will be happy when Winter is over & I can get outside in the garden more. Today was so incredibly windy! I did a little mulching but almost got blown away. Then I rode my bike- did 1 lot of 5km & then 2 sets of weights, followed by another 5km on the bike. I felt so good afterwards & decided to tackle the elements & then went for a 3km walk. I took a rubbish bag & filled it up along the way home. We have 2 new families (both renting) in the district & I'm afraid they are not showing much respect for our beautiful part of the countryside. I hope they notice me picking up the rubbish. It may make a difference. I hope so anyway. I stopped one day & took their kids to the bus stop in the pouring rain & their mum was very grateful as she was still in her pj's.
Time for a shower. My husband's 8-ball team ended up top of the ladder so have a bye tonight. They are having a meal & drinks & a practice and I am the "designated driver" apparently. 80km return trip. I would much rather stay home but I know by my going they all should arrive home safely.
I ordered some bubbly from their bottle shop so will pick that up tonight at least. It's delicious & not too expensive. It's called Henkell Trocken & costs about $17-18 Aus. If I were rich I would drink Mumm Cordon Rouge or Moet & Chandon. Mm mmmmm!! But I'm not so....Henkell it is. I haven't had a glass of it for a few years and will eke it out for a while. 1 bottle per week...I can do it!
Catch up tomorrow morning I reckon. Cheers, cate.
 
Hi Cate

I started today and just wanted to post in your diary to tell you what an inspiration you are to me! I love how you have made exercise such an important part of your life.

It sounds like you live in an amazing part of the world. I would love to see photos of where you are.

Thanks again.

Sue
 
Hi Sue! Click on my username & go to my profile & you will see some photos of where I live etc. I added some yesterday. Where do you live?
I didn't get into the exercise overnight that's for sure! There was a big gap of about 37 years. Eek!! There is no way known I could have done what I'm doing now while I was on Cohen's. Once you get to maintenance though it is fantastic & is so good for maintaining a positive outlook. Exercise + healthy eating= happy Cate! I must remind myself of this occasionally when I ever feel down, even momentarily.
Mood etc
Today I feel great mentally. I connected with my son last night when we got home from 8-ball & had a nice "chat" on FB. He had left me a message, including a phone number that I can reach him on & I was reading it when he sent me a msg on "chat."
He is homesick and is finding it a little lonely travelling on his own. He's looking forward to Egypt & he will be with a group for about 3 weeks. I told him I would ring him in the next couple of days & he said that would be really nice. We're going to ring him tonight.
I went to bed feeling much better because he had contacted me but also a little sad that he was feeling homesick. He is a darling.
Niyah, If you're reading this today I am not going to tell him off for anything he says tonight I promise!!LOL. I can do it! Love only, no lectures.
I have Tai Chi to go to so had better get moving now. It's wild & woolly out there again today.
I was so tired last night from my exercise that I think the boys felt sorry for me & said they were ready to come home at 10pm. I drank 1 coffee when I got there & water for the rest of the evening. It was a struggle keeping the car on the road the wind was so strong. I was so relieved to get home & then so happy to have contact with our son.
Today I feel really happy and loving & loved!
Still have a headache though- bugger! I think it's allergies. The wattle trees are out already & everywhere I go there are such strong, putrid perfumes. Last night the barmaid was cleaning behind the bar with "Mr Sheen." Tough!
OK. I'm off (& I'm leaving!) Haha. Cheers, Cate
 
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