Cate's Diary

The seasonal AD is interesting... I think I'm slightly affected also, but it isn't the only thing accounting for how I feel, I know. But... grey and cold days certainly have a depressing effect, plus the continual lack of sunshine.

We have a lovely day today fortunately, though still very cold. I can seen sunshine!!

Mums get anxious because Mums care. Caring is OK. But caring makes us vulnerable. As the saying goes, "Who mothers mothers??". But... imagine what their lives would be like if we didn't care?? We get anxious because we care, but we can't control the outcome of what we care about.

So... have a day out mentally... just for today. The following is an old inspirational thing I love - very long so I've truncated it a bit. Sorry for piling things up in your diary!!

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said is true: 'Most folks are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.' Happiness comes from within; it is not a matter of externals.

Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is; not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do someone a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two chores I don't want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, speak diplomatically, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate or improve anyone.

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Particularly, I will be unafraid to be happy; to enjoy what is beautiful; to love; and to believe that those I love, love me.
 
Thanks Niyah.I'll print that up. I have only just read it as I forced myself out of the house and into town to do some shopping. Unfortunately if my brain had been working properly I would have twigged that it was Market day (1st Sat of the month) & would have gone in before 1pm when it closes! I had forced myself to do some chores before I went & to have a healthy bowl of Pho Bo for lunch or I would have seen the sign in town & gone along in time. Next month I will be in Melb but I will be setting an alarm for the 1st Sat in August so that I can't forget!
I went to the supermarket & stocked up on things for the pantry & freezer in case the Swine Flu gets out of hand & we are quarantined. They are already suggesting that kids stay home from school for a week if they travel to Victoria. I'm not at all worried about getting it but I actually love to have a good excuse to have a well-stocked pantry. I was brought up in a grocers store! Our nearest shopping centre is 11km away so having some extra things in the freezer may save a trip just for vegies. I often have to go just for my yoghurt.I go through about 4 big tubs a week, just for me.
I bumped into my SIL and she told me my husband's brother has some genetic blood chromosome disorder which I am about to look up. He has gone away on his doctor's advice for a week's fishing so won't catch up with my LH to tell him all about it. It's something to do with having a lot of iron in the blood & apparently may be kept at bay by giving blood regularly which we do. I had better go have a quick look to see what it is & what it means.
I feel much better for having got out & about & chatting to people.Once again I put on a smile & made myself feel better in the process.
It's still a horrible day & now its' windy & raining as well. C'mon sunshine!!!
Niyah- you can fill my diary up with helpful, supportive comments & quotes any time you like,xoxo Cate
 
Sounds like haemochromatosis - manageable these days but does tend to cause problems with arthritic joints eventually I believe.

Getting out and reconnected with the big wide world is a mental lift. Try and stay sunny side up!!!
 
Niyah-Yep- that's it all right! I don't think my husband has it but is a 1 in 4 chance of it. If undetected it can cause irreparable organ damage (cirrhosis of the liver, late onset diabetes or cardiomyopathy) but diagnosed early it can be treated by venesection (removal of blood). The earlier detection the better. Their Dad most probably had it. He died at 42 & had cirrhosis of the liver. After reading about it I am now looking at the knuckles on my 1st 2 fingers wondering...... Only kidding (?)
Reading the symptoms I'm quite sure my LH does not have it but he will go to the docs & have a blood test soon just to make sure. We may as well try to keep on top of our health if we can.
My BIL drinks quite a lot of whisky & is very over-weight. He was only 5 when their dad died & I think tries to be like his dad subconsciously.
Sunny side up!! I love that analogy. I will try to be sunny side up. Sounds a lot better than 'once over' or 'over easy'!! :blush5::smilielol5:
It's amazing what trying to lift your mood can do. I sometimes sing 'Always look on the bright side of life' or 'Good day sunshine'. Just standing in front of the mirror & smiling & seeing how different you look smiling can lift your mood. Sounds crazy I know but it works for me. You have to let it work & you have to try. Sometimes you want to wallow & that's not good for anyone, especially yourself.
Today- I feel fine. It's a miserable day. My LH is home & is going to have a cooking/lazy day. He's reading the paper at the moment & I'm in here of course.I'm loving all of the activity here & that people are supporting one another. Cheers for now, Cate
 
I've known two people with it, but both were diagnosed early enough to avoid big problems and with the constant blood removal, one seemed to be largely symptomless, the other had a bit of arthritis. But yes, sounds like something that needs very active monitoring.

Medical textbooks and papers always start making me panic, though I still constantly check on things. I think I would be a hopeless doctor or nurse - the grisly details of it really, really get to me after a while. My son has to deal with stuff all the time, and I just don't know how he copes. I guess, like anything else, you eventually learn to try not to take everything personally or panic about yourself.

Have a good day tomorrow - and thanks for the lovely note in my diary.
 
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Hi Cate :)

I hope that you have a STUNNING day -- even if it is miserable outside! :D

You are such a kind and caring person, so you only deserve happiness and smiles all day long.

I was wondering a bit about re-feeding and maintenance and all that stuff...
  • How is your maintenance keeping up?
  • What are the rules and are they sustainable?
  • What are your biggest struggles?
You don't have to answer those questions 100%, a quick reply will do wonders! I'm kinda worried about all that...hehe

Thanks a lot,
xxx
 
Luvbug said:

*How is your maintenance keeping up?
*What are the rules and are they sustainable?
*What are your biggest struggles?
Click to expand...
Hi Luvbug-
My biggest struggles have been with my brain. I started to think that I didn't really have to watch what I ate all the time & I don't think I actually thought of myself as a slim person. That's half the battle. I stopped looking at the guidelines about 8 months after re-feed & some bad habits crept back in. I thought that my weight had stabilised & I stopped weighing for a while(big mistake!) & when I found out I had put 8kgs on I freaked out & delayed going back on program for quite a while. I'm just so happy that I re-focussed. I went back on the program again 100%, re-did re-feed & am now following the guidelines 100%, weigh myself every few days & adjust my diet accordingly so that I stay within my 3kg weight range.

When you finish re-feed you will see what size meals are right for you to maintain your weight & stay slim. This is really important! Not only will they be the right sized portions but they will be about the right balance of protein & vegetables.
You can have treats like a dessert but you will be guided as to when to eat them & how to minimise converting them into fat.

I think the reason that most people gain weight after losing it is that they then go back to doing what they did before. What we did before is why we got fat in the first place. Of course we can't do that.

I like this saying-
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got, and you'll always feel what you always felt"
Put another way-
If you don't change the way you do things, live your life, or make decisions, you will never grow or mature or feel better about life as a whole. You have to be the change you want to see in your life.

Luvbug-You will work out what puts weight on for you or makes you feel bad & you can decide whether to eat it or not. It's a great feeling when you realise that you have the knowledge to do so & the will-power. You have proved that already! I figure that I gave up so many things for over 6 months that some of them I can give up altogether or only have occasionally. I only have milk about 2 times a month in a cappuccino & wonder every time why I do. Testing, testing....
Bread gives me such a belly ache so I eat it rarely & usually when there is no other option. I have some home-made pizza occasionally & enjoy it. I eat rice regularly but only a little. Most of my meals are similar to Cohen's but I now add soy sauce etc. I find that if I start on sweet things I don't want to stop. Mid afternoon is sometimes a battle. I look at sweet things like sultanas etc & grab an apple instead. Eat one apple & you usually don't want to eat 10 apples! If a meal does not have vegies or salad it looks wrong!!
I have to talk to myself often & say "Don't go there!" It's the path back to where I came from.

I really felt so good on the original Cohen's plan & I feel really bad if I eat food that is not nutritious or if I have eaten anything sugary. My brain seems to have been re-wired, thanks to Cohen's. I am showing it the respect it deserves. I really want to be healthy.

Luvbug- Sweets don't be afraid of maintenance. You have done this & you can also learn about maintenance. I can't pass the guidelines on to you because of copyright but you will have them soon. You will have the tools & the knowledge. Remember also that you are not on your own as there are many of us who have done this & are there to help you anytime. Training your brain to think like a slim person and learning to love yourself are the big battles I think, xoxoCate.

PS I have done it again! Dot points? What are they? Being brief? hahaha xoC, getting down off her Cohen's soap-box!
 
Hi Cate

WOW, thank you so much for your lovely reply!! :grouphug:

The brain is really our biggest enemy -- when I get myself, I crave cookies or pastries. It's crazy!!

cate said:
I think the reason that most people gain weight after losing it is that they then go back to doing what they did before. What we did before is why we got fat in the first place. Of course we can't do that.
Click to expand...

:iagree: totally with you on this one.
I've made that mistake myself once before. I've lost 10kg's and just went back to my bad habits again..obviously I picked it all up again :(
That's a big no no!

I think that I'll mostly stick to eating the Cohen's way -- the basic principles. As you said, protein and veggies with every meal! I also love pizza, rice, bread..heck, all carbs! I'm sure it'll be okay ONCE in a while..and in moderation. The big thing is to stay away from the stuff we KNOW are our weakness. Kudos to you for doing that!!! :D

It's amazing how Cohen's has re-wired my mind, as well! I feel like I'm allergic to anything sugary and anything carbohydrate lol

It's funny how I've noticed that most people's meals mostly consist of carbs..
Breakfast: cereal, oats or toast
Lunch: sandwich or pasta or bread..
Dinner: potatoes, meat, veggies
So I'll really need to stick to my guns!

I think that I'll also feel guilty after eating something sugary -- but we really should have it now and again. Maybe something expensive and exclusive -- so just a little bit. Like a small serving of dark chocolate mouse or Lindt dark chocolate..

I've always been addicted to smoothies, but now I realize that it's actually empty calories. Not nutritious at all -- so I don't need it. It will be tough though.

I also think that I'm not thinking "slim" yet. I sometimes still feel fat, even though I wear a size 8 (Aus sizes are the same as SA) now. It's like you're always dreaming of the smaller size... I want to be a size 6 now :ack2:
And it's not because I need to, it's because I still feel fat.
I also def don't have an eating disorder hehe
I do believe that it will only be temporarily..till my mind catches up with my body lol
I've been overweight all my life and have been slim only a few weeks..so yeah.

Thank you for the inspiring words :)
I now believe that I CAN handle maintenance. I'll learn as I move on..

My consultant has ordered re-feed, but I'm not going to start it until I'm at my GW. :biggrinjester:

PS. I love Cate being on her "Cohen's soap-box"! hehehe ;)

hugs !! xxxxxxxxxxx
 
Niyah- I somehow missed your note. I really enjoy our conversations & mutual support xo Cate.
Luvbug- You are thinking the right way about maintenance so hold those thoughts. The dark chocolate but only as a treat, mousse etc. Tick!No carb's for breakfast especially. Limit Carb's. Tick!
The thing we have to watch is becoming complacent & slipping back into old, bad habits.If you follow the basic maintenance principles you will never, ever, be over-weight again.xo Cate
My weight today- Dropping down gradually(about .5kg per week) by being very careful. I still share a bottle of dry wine with my LH about every 3rd night & have some good quality dark chocolate on Sunday night's, a little rice & some carb vegies like sweet potato & beans but other than that I stick to mostly Cohen's original food.
I don't have butter or spread on my crackers still. I learned to live without it so still do.
I did not like being up near the top of my GW range. We're going away for a week-end again in a few weeks & I want to be nearer to the bottom of the range. I don't want to over-eat at all because that makes me feel really bad & uncomfortable but I also don't want to appear obsessive to my friends.
I really like not having a belly!
Today- I was going to pick my OGS up & am having him for the night but my DIL sent me a msg to say she will bring him up & bath the 2 younger ones. They only have a shower in their home & have limited tank water. We have tank water too but lots of it & I have always said she can come up any time & I gave her a key to our home. They are having a bath put in in the next month or so which will be good for them. They have really improved their home recently, with an extension to their housing loan. They have added an extra room(their new bedroom) new windows & a glass door etc & it looks great. The bathroom alterations will also improve it.
Gotta go. They have just arrived, cheers, Cate
 
Hi Cate!
:Angel_anim:
If I can say--- I think we should refer to you as the !ORACLE!

You are realy the 'been there-done that' lady of the forum! Thank you! You are of much value to us young ones! I somedays think of like older people-- I would like to have relationships with older more wiser people esp females-- I dont have any older females with a substantial influence in my life except my mom! But she is also far away-- I sometimes miss that feeling of 'being under someones wing' I hope that doesnt sound to stange! :) I get the same nurturing feeling when I think of you!

I saw a program on BBC Life- RESIZE ME :last night which gave me some inspitarion and it was like a light bulb that went on in my head! (this lady was on a 8 week program of trying to loose weight, she failed sadly)

When loosing weight is your only goal-- the likelyhood of you going back to old habits are like 100% ! We should shift our focus from solely loosing wieght to a more holistic view of 'MY GOAL IS TO BE HEALTHY' then along with that comes weightloss! RIGHT!

I think that you have cracked it! Its taking me a while longer to get use to the idea! Weightloss is eventually what leaves us frustated and demotivated!
I think that you've got it right!

It gives me great joy to see others reaching their goals and being happy!

Anyways-- i just popped in to say that my lightbulb is now on! hehehe! I wish I could come for coffee :(

Sending you huggs (im slowly working through the posts THERE IS SO MANY)

MWAH
**:seeya:
 
Oh dear!
I just spent about an hour typing, deleting & re-phrasing a message to Starfish & then about my last 2 days when my phone rang. I am planning my husband's 60th birthday party in November & it was a publican ringing me back to discuss the details so that she can work out a price for me. I told her I would like to pay for the food hopefully. Instead of finger food she thought cold meat & salad would be much easier & therefore cheaper plus fruit & cheese platters etc. The hotel does not open during the day but we will be able to book it from 1pm on a Saturday just for ourselves & would have the run of the place with jukebox, 8-ball table, bar, dining room & an outside area. She is ringing me back with a price.
When I got back to the computer it had updated & Windows had turned it off & it was re-starting & I lost everything. OMG. I have to get over this & start all over!!
Me- Oracle? I don't think so!! Ha!
Starfish-
I was absolutely tickled pink after reading your post & the sweet things that you said. The 'oracle' word actuallyreally embarrasses me. It has taken me a lifetime to learn by my mistakes & I am constantly learning. If I can help anyone so that they don't have to take so long to learn then that makes me feel really good.
I wish we could meet for a hug & a cup of coffee. You never know it may happen one day.In the meantime we can have virtual hugs & share our lives. I say it often but I really do get as much as I give. My self-esteem has really risen since undertaking Cohen's but mainly because of what happens here in the forum. Imagine how being told that you inspire someone would make you feel. Wow! You cannot imagine the pleasure this gives me! Starfish I'm very happy to be your mother hen!! You are very sweet!!xoxoxo Cate.
I am not going to attempt to go into as much detail about my last 2 days.
All time first!
Cate is using dot points!! I can do this!!
My last 2 days in brief-
* Had my OGS for a night & day. I so love my GK's!
* We went for a long walk- 4,288 steps up & down steep hills near my home.
* We were attacked by a so-called 'friendly' huge dog who barked at us, tail wagging as we approached him, but then slunk backwards & hurled himself at us, spinning like a whirling dervish, teeth snarling & growling, landing just in front of us. An experience we will never forget but also a very valuable lesson. If I had not been with him he would have run & I hate to think of the possible consequences. He now knows how different a dog can be when the owner is not there & he is defending his property. (not quite a dot point but OMG it was very scary!)
* We went out for lunch after that.
* I got some lovely compliments even in my hiking gear!
* Had a lovely day in my local town yesterday.
* My MIL was absolutely abnoxious to me in front of my LH.
* When we got home our friend was here fencing. (We have been waiting 14mths)
That will do. My fire needs some attention & it's freezing! Just took another phone call as well but didn't let my computer screen out of my sight!
Cheers, Cate. Be back later!
I'll be back later.I'm going to submit this post right now.
Still learning!! Cheers, Cate

 
I've hardly dare write here, wanting you to be able to savour Starfish's entry!!

Dogs can sure be unpredictable. We had one last year trying to tear apart one of our young goats (which I have no longer!) and then next minute wagging it's tail and all over us like a rash.

I've had a week of very late nights and so on, so just struggling through to the end of the week. Going out tonight to celebrate SIL finishing his uni course yesterday!!! Sure hope no-one tries to wake me up early tomorrow morning!
 
Niyah- As if you would take away from my diary by visiting!! Bite your tongue!!
Dogs are so unpredictable. This dog gave us little warning. It was very frightening.
Hope you get a sleep-in tomorrow & a good w/e's rest. Take care, my friend, xo Cate
 
Cate my love!! :beating: I wanted to come and get some warmth :grouphug: and that's exactly what I can expect in here!!....and good Vibrations!! :D!!! Stay beautiful Cate bear...I'll visit again VERY SOON! :D! Glad to see you still inspiring everyone out there!!! You have a gift!!! :D!!! ...I thank GOD you found us on here!! ...lucky us! ;)
 
Wow! What a day I'm having! To have a visit in my diary from Alta is icing on the metaphorical cake.I mean it! I am so impressed with you Alta. You have really turned your life around. Half marathons indeed!! You are a very inspiring & absolutely delightful woman! Thank you sweets for your lovely words once again. Lucky me, I say!! Sending you much love right back,xoxo Cate
 
Feeling the love!
I am really feeling on top of the world at the moment. I can thank you my friends for most of that. I do love the interaction in the forum. No longer am I ever going to make any apologies for spending so much time in here. I love it. Sometimes it can be frustrating and even annoying but mostly it's bloody marvellous. I love to see everyone helping one another and sharing their insights. I know I have become a more open person because of the forum.I used to keep my feelings to myself.
Today-
* I have 'chatted' to my YS on Facebook for about 1/2 an hour. Lovely.
* I have cooked a huge Sri Lankan chicken curry, which I will freeze quite a lot of. We'll have some for dinner.
* I have a humungous pot of Pho bubbling away on my wood heater.(Star Anise one of the active ingredients of Tamiflu? Sounds like a good enough reason Niyah, plus it's delicious & we both love it!)
* I have baked my LH a Soy & Linseed loaf of bread that I will not eat one crumb of because I choose not to.
* I have only eaten Cohen's original plan food today & have drunk 2 litres of water already.
* I have paid my son's bills out of his a/c
* I have paid our bills out of our a/c & have no more to be paid.
* Done a load of washing & it's drying in front of the wood heater
and it's not even 2pm. What a productive day so far!
Still to do-
*A big pile of dishes
* Write out some affirmation cards (can wait until tomorrow maybe)
* make myself a big pot of herbal tea (blend of Jasmine, peppermint & lemon Myrtle), sit myself down in front of the fire &
* start reading a book!
What a life!
Hope everyone is having a great week-end. My LH is at work, cooking for naughty kids (sounds like a joke but is true). I'm been planning his 60th which is in November. I'll tell you about it some time this week. I'm actually starting to look forward to it now that we have agreed on the type of party, who will be invited etc & that it will not be at our home. Phew! Now I just need to be able to fund it. LOL.
Cheers for now, Cate.
 
and my day got even better!

We got a lovely long call about an hour ago from our son who is in Equador and I just checked my email & thought I would share this with you xo Cate. He sent it to some of his friends as well. I won't edit his spelling mistakes
"I am having a wonderful time but I am switched on and very wary of my surroundings and the surroundings I don´t want to find myself in. I am making good decisions even when I am pissing around and I am half cut
because I realise I am not at home and I cannot just leave my crap lying around everywhere as I usually do!

If a plane is going to crash it is going to crash and regardless of whether its me or 200 other people its bloody sad and there is nothing we can do about it except hope for the best, hey.

If I happened to drown 4 days ago swimming around the coast of the galapagos through sea caves with sea lions, manta rays, white tipped reef sharks, penguins scooting around me, pelicans diving around going for fish and blue-footed boobies sitting curiously on the rocks watching it would have been a bloody wonderful way to go!

Life is an awesome thing if you aren´t too scared to let go of all the bullshit and actually enjoy it. I am stoked that I have.

I´m having the best time of my life, I feel as though it is a whole new beginning for me and its off to an incredible start.
If a reef shark gets hungry and I look tasty then have a frothy for me rather than a teary! haha cause right up until when it grabs my leg I can guarantee ya that I had a smile 2 feet wide on my face.

Talk soon! Looking forward to a big bbq on the 28th of december, book it in and keep it free !

Lots of love R...."

I knew this trip would change his life for the better. He's living a dream. Catch you tomorrow!
Frothy= Beer!
 
He sounds as though he is really discovering himself, Cate! And all that is truly valuable in his life.

My husband makes a similar kind of observation about his experiences. He used to snorkel and swim a lot in the surf, ride his bike to work in heavy morning traffic etc, and I always fret a lot about sharks, car accidents and so on. He used to always say - just remember, I was doing what I absolutely LOVED.

I have a way over-active amydala and have never managed to have that kind of freedom to "let go". My family seem to have deeply neurotic tendencies, and it's always a big fight to let go and do ANYTHING that involves any kind of perceived risk.

Anyway, glad to hear that your day has been so spiffy. Mind hasn't. I'm not down at all, just sluggish and over-tired from a week of overwork and bad sleep. I had good intentions of having a day like yours today, but my sluggish mind and body just won't react!!! I've kind of given up, and think today will just have to be a very quiet one. I have a hideous pile of dishes to attack in the kitchen shortly, which I can't get out of, but everything else is going to wait.

A visitor's here, so better run. Take care, enjoy the rest of the weekend.
 
Today- I got up early with my LH. He's at work again.I have taken most of the bits (Star Anise & whole peppercorns & meat fat & bones) out of my big pot of Pho & done all of my dishes but I haven't had a shower yet & it's freezing. I had better stoke the fire & skedaddle off for a shower soon in case I get caught in my PJ's. It wouldn't be the end of the world but I will feel much warmer when I get my Winter woollies(thermals really) on.

Niyah- You got me there! I had to look Amydala up. My biggest problem is a very vivid imagination. I go about 50 steps ahead of myself imagining how I would react to bad news, how I would cope on my own, conversations I may have if this happens or that happens. OMG! It can be hilarious sometimes but I keep it to myself usually. I have already had quite a few about him. I am really glad that he is doing this as I think he is very much like me & he is living his life & living his dreams & overcoming his fears. I can be quite philisophical about it but the reality might be different if something bad does happen. I hope not. I think I mentally prepare for bad things & then put them out of my mind once I have gone through a few mental steps! I know I'm quite crazy. I just had that conversation with my 84yr old Mum. She just said that someone might think she's crazy & I said "Mum we're all crazy in our family" & she agreed. I told her that at least we're not boring & she laughed! I often think I'm boring but usually people laugh if I say that & tellme that I'm def. far from boring so I said to Mum I take it as a compliment rather than wondering what they really mean by it! LOL at myself.

Niyah- I never know how energetic I will feel so when I get the urge I cook or do whatever needs doing then other days I may have big plans the night before but on the day do very little. I have a laugh & just say the old saying 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions' Too bad.LOL! You work so hard & have so many worries that no wonder you get tired. I'm home almost every day & do little in comparison.xoC
Cheers everyone. Hope you're enjoying your w/e & getting some well-earned rest. I think I'll just go have a shower, get dressed, prepare the extras for our Vietnamese soup tonight & then curl up on my recliner & finish a book I started yesterday.
xoxo Cate
 
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Yes - panic attacks and all are things I've had to constantly fight over the years. Doesn't matter how much "logic" or rationalising you do, nor anything else really. I just know what the triggers are, have to take certain measure to avoid panic in situations I can't avoid and get through as best as I can. My husband is so much more calm and just doesn't get it - but it seems basic nature is a good part of it, and if you inherit those tendencies, not a huge amount you can do except manage them as best as you can. Two of my kids are like their dad, and one like me. All treated the same, but it was evident from very early on which were going to be which! But even the one that takes after me is way better than me, so I'm at least pleased with that! As for me, I try not to let it cripple me, but it's a constant mental struggle.

Enjoy the Pho! I'll just have to imagine for now.
 
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