Cate's Diary

[liza]

Just catching up a bit over the last couple of days--those succulents in the bird bath look so lovely--what a great idea!
And archie looks so wonderfully soft and cuddly!

Somehow my amazing SIL has arranged for palliative care to be in their home.

Very nice for them both to be able to have him at home to die. A real gift I think.

 

[Cate]

Thanks, LaMa & Liza. I think it's lovely that M can die at home. L is an amazing woman. He will be so much happier at home & will be able to have his dog nearby. Their adult kids & GK's will be able to visit at any time & say their goodbyes & it won't be as tough on the GK's.
I haven't told our sons yet. I wanted R to get through his work shift tonight & will call him tomorrow & let him know. D will be here tonight & I'll tell him then. We might go see him tomorrow I think, or Sunday. I'll see what suits L first. She may want us to wait a few days.
It is freezing here today & there is snow expected down to sea level in some parts of the state. We're a bit over 300m. Brrr! We don't have to go anywhere today

 

[Llama]

A snow day or two os lovely. Just as long as it doesn't stay on the ground for weeks on end. I do think it's beautiful that people have a say in how they want to go these days, especially given what's happening in hospitals all over the world.

 

[Marsia]

Hi Cate, that's wonderful your BIL can do hospice at home. It was hard with my mom doing hospice, but I am so glad I did, especially with Covid where I wouldn't have gotten to see her except through a closed window. Hope you had a good visit with D and are having a lovely snow day today!!

 

[Emilyrose]

Archie is beautiful! Love that photo you posted.

Sorry to hear about your brother-in-law, but having his last days at home is such a gift.

Hope you enjoyed your 'not going anywhere' day.

 

[Cate]

Thank you, LaMa, Marsia & Em.
The snow was very pretty this morning but has long gone. It never settles here.
Hospice at home is a much better option than dying in a hospital if you have the support you need. L is very capable & it seems there is a nurse who comes in overnight. We'll know more tomorrow after our morning visit. We're taking some cooked food.
I rang R this morning & he is still very low. He is on a low dose of Lithium, Em but may need either a higher dose or something else added. I am very grateful that he has been helped with it up until now. Has your Mum been diagnosed as Bipolar?
We had a lovely time with D & our 2 GS's last night.
I won't be in the forum until after midday tomorrow.

 

[misty22]

Hey Cate, I don't know who M is but my wishes go out to the family. Hospice at home is always more comfortable. It's nice having people around you.

I'm sorry to hear R is going through some mental health issues. Those as tough to deal with. But I'm glad you're close to him and can provide him the support you need, my mum's support means a lot to me as I go through my depression and anxiety.

You may feel more like staying at home due to the colder weather? Sometimes we just need those days at home.

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Misty. M is my husband's sister's husband. R sounded very low again yesterday. I told him I'll ring him again this afternoon after we visit L & M. I think I'll ask him when he's seeing his doctor next & suggest he may need something else.
I usually feel like staying at home, Winter or Summer.

 

[Marsia]

Sorry to hear about R having a rough time. Big hugs to you, too! It's great your sister has help at night. That was the hardest for me, because my mom couldn't tell night from day, and woke me up sometimes 7 or more times a night. I was a sleepless zombie there at the end. Glad you had a nice visit with D and the grandkids!

 

[Llama]

Hugs for you and R. Is K9 still in the picture?

 

[Cate]

Sorry to hear about R having a rough time. Big hugs to you, too! It's great your sister has help at night. That was the hardest for me, because my mom couldn't tell night from day, and woke me up sometimes 7 or more times a night. I was a sleepless zombie there at the end. Glad you had a nice visit with D and the grandkids!

Thanks, Marsia. Apparently, because it all happened so quickly they only have nurses come & go briefly, but none stay overnight. Tonight G's brother is going to stay overnight. We visited for a couple of hours this afternoon. I think M only has a couple of days left. I hope so for L's sake really. I'm not sure that he knew if we were there or not. Poor M.

Hugs for you and R. Is K9 still in the picture?

Thanks, LaMa. R is very low & today I made sure I talked to him & I asked him if he was taking his meds. Once again the answer was no. He hasn't taken them for 2 weeks. We had another talk about him absolutely needing to take them. I know he hates the side effects, but the minute he takes himself off them he plummets. K9 & R have not been an item for quite a few months. I'll tell you about it privately some time

We haven't been home long & detoured to pick up some dog food in town as it was a 120 km trip. We both feel really drained, so I would hate to feel how L must feel right now.

 

[Floater]

Low on words, but sending hugs and best wishes!

 

[Llama]

Same

 

[Cate]

Thank you, Floater & LaMa. Hugs & best wishes are always welcome No news this morning. D, our older son is visiting M after work. It's a 180 km detour so I suggested ringing first to make sure that suits.
G is going to be away next week from Mon to Sat playing golf. I really hope the funeral isn't then as he'll be on another island.
It's a beautiful sunny day today. We have a funeral to go to. The wife of one of the really lovely golfers from the local club died last week. She has had such a struggle for the last few years. I didn't know her that well, but A is a sweetie.

 

[liza]

Hi Cate, Sorry to hear R is having a rough time and off the meds. That's too bad that the side-effects are giving him a hard time. Are there any other med options he could do?
I hope the funeral goes ok today.

 

[Marsia]

Hi Cate, sorry about your friend's wife, and I hope your BIL can have some nice time with your sister where he is conscious enough to get to say goodbye. Hopefully the timing will be good for you to make it to the funeral. That's really sad that R and K9 aren't together anymore. I really routed for them. I wish they would make more strides with psychotropic medications. That really stinks that R gets such bad side effects he'd rather not take his meds. I have a friend who really would benefit immensely from depression medication, but she can't find one that works, and I hear that's common. Hope you get to enjoy the beautiful day!!

 

[Cate]

Thank you, Liza & Marsia
There are other medication options for BP 2, but I think old-fashioned lithium has fewer side effects than most. He has a phone appointment tomorrow with his GP. It is sad that R & K9 were not to be. It can't be helped though. It was his decision. I think they will remain friends though.
I'll be able to go to our BIL's funeral, even if it's next week. He is G's sister's husband, though & it would be a shame if he was unable to be there.
Today's funeral was lovely & we got to support our friend. I'm glad we went as not many of the vets went along, which disappointed us. It doesn't take much.

 

[Marsia]

Oops, sorry I got whose sister L is mixed up. Glad you could be there for your friend at the funeral. Sad about the turnout, but I bet she will remember the people who were there supporting her when she looks back on it. I hope it goes well with R's phone apt and he gets back on meds that help. That's really sad about K9. I hope R finds other good supports in life so things stabilize for him. Life is up and down enough without BP to contend with, so I really empathize. Anyway, hope you are doing well and having some good you-time!

 

[misty22]

Thanks, Misty. M is my husband's sister's husband. R sounded very low again yesterday. I told him I'll ring him again this afternoon after we visit L & M. I think I'll ask him when he's seeing his doctor next & suggest he may need something else.
I usually feel like staying at home, Winter or Summer.

Ugh I'm sorry to hear he's not doing well These things are always hard. My wishes go out to you and the family.
Sorry to hear about the friend's funeral too...I feel like you're taking this in good stride. It's a lot to take in.

Hope R finds a resolution, I have been on and off meds too and have a friend with clinical depression that just struggles. Ketamine treatment helped her immensely though.

 

[Floater]