Cate's Diary

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
You're getting so skinny...
And you're a nice person, too!
 
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Jeremy-Thank you & welcome to my diary!
Annie- I had a lovely day & it was made even better when I came in here & saw your birthday message. Loved the colours. Thank you, fellow musketeer!
Misty- Once again, you have surpassed yourself. I'll take nice any day.
I had a lovely birthday.
We had planned a picnic but for the last couple of days & nights, we have had a much needed beautiful steady rain. I love driving around the countryside & the rain didn't put me off. Tasmania is such a beautiful place to live. We went on one of our favourite drives. We call it the "around the world drive". We were gone for 7 hours. Along the way we did a "coffee crawl", some visiting & bought some pottery plant pots & saucers, some plants, a pottery gecko to go on an outside wall & some really unusual pottery masks. We didn't spend much as we had a credit to spend in the pottery place. It was fun.
I am starting to accept compliments on my appearance, without feeling so embarrassed & uncomfortable. They are helping me to start believing it myself. I can look in the mirror & think- "That's me!" and smile & be happy about myself. I do feel proud. It feels good to say that & it's good to know that I can do this. I'm changing my attitude towards myself.
I know that I am not going back to my old job. The longer I am away the more I know that this is a big part of my stress. It is not for me. Just thinking that I no longer have to return to it has lightened the load.
Now that I able to think more clearly counselling will be more helpful. I have plans to take up yoga again as I used to love it. The garden beckons me as well. I'm going to grow more vegies & herbs next year. I really love being able to go out, pick things & then cook. It's really earthing.
My next job (yes I will work) will be something more suited to me. I am usually a very positive, competent person, have the gift of the gab (& love writing-LOL!) & have been told I could sell almost anything. I have been self-employed for most of my working life but don't want to own another business. I won't rush into anything. I have it in the back of my head that something will come along that will suit me.
Well I think it's time I hit the hay. 54 feels pretty damned good!
THANK You forum buddies for my birthday wishes. I just realised how much effort you went to. I give up!! xo xo Cate
 
Hi Cate,

Sounds like you had a lovely birthday. Your right about Tassie, I have been to Hobart twice and had a lovely time, so picturesque, it really is beautiful, a bit quiet for my liking..I love big cities but perfect for a romantic weekend away ;) ;)
I just realised you are two thirds of the way there...Yay!!!!
Go cate Go !!!

See ya

Annie Lusion
 
I can come in here feeling a little miserable & before long I am smiling!!
Once again, Annie to the rescue!!
My youngest son forgot my birthday (again!) & I have been trying very hard not to let it upset me. I feel really disappointed. I haven't said anything & he still hasn't remembered 2 days later. We have been texting about something else & I told him in one that I am not at my husband's competition-that I am home. In another text, after he said wish Dad luck, I said I can't -I'm at home with bronchitis. In the next text he queried why I didn't go today & when I replied that I am sick and feeling exhausted after spending all day there yesterday I didn't even hear back from him. No get better Mum or anything like that. I don't think it even sinks in. I love him so much and I know that the 20's are a very self-centred age, but I wish he was more aware of my feelings & would make more effort for me & for others.
I am always scared to tell him when he really lets me down because I think we have similar self-image problems & I feel that he, too, is fragile. Hopefully he will get there...
Life is very much up & down at the moment. I got really agitated about my YS this morning & felt quite miserable. I know that he will be upset when he realises that he has forgotten my birthday but I worry that if he is oblivious to what I am going through does he not really take notice of others as well. It may be that I, & my love, are taken for granted. Being a parent comes with a lot of sadness & worry as well as the joy & love.
I think I had better quit for the day & go read something.
I want to read some books on philosophy & am not sure where to start. I don't want to read the Men are from Mars type b.s. books but am going to have to ask at the library. I would have asked my older sister if she had been alive still & she would have given me a big list of books, in order. She loved reading & was a consumnate studier.
I am enjoying writing & may go along to a writers group meeting & see what it's like. It's something I have always wanted to do but haven't had the courage. I still haven't but will try to sometime.
Last year I put my name down to do a course on teaching English to migrants & they are going to call me in July or August. That would be fun. It's a volunteer thing but I really miss contact with different nationalities & I would like to help make migrants welcome to our country.
I will try to rein in the spending from now on as I won't be earning anything soon. I might have to have ebay selling lessons. We have so much accumulated "stuff" that I could happily sell. I have given lots away already but it would be good to get rid of a lot of clutter.
I had better get the fire cranking as it's getting dark & I am home alone. I had better not get too clingy after all this time.
I am looking forward to giving notice at work. I don't have to or want to just yet. The boss probably thinks I'm not coming back though as I let her know how bad I've been feeling. I didn't get a birthday call or email from them or a card-even from my own team. It's not exactly a caring work-place.
Thank god it's a caring forum!!
I think because I care a lot for others & make a lot of effort for them it hurts me when it isn't returned. Usually I just keep on going but now, when I need it the most it's not happening. I'm very, very sensitive right now.
Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow cheerful again, xo Cate.
 
I'm feeling much better tonight. I will have to talk to our son sometime & let him know that it hurts me that he doesn't make an effort for me. I will give it a lot of thought.
My husband has had a good week-end & has arrived home. His new job is starting tomorrow. They rung while he was away & need him tomorrow. We would not be able to combine his job & my old one as they are both shift work. He seems quite happy about me quitting.
I spent most of my day preparing food & cooking. I made a beautiful vegetable stock that will be enough for about 6 soups. I am learning as I go but am really enjoying cooking. I had it on the wood stove as it has a cook-top. I can't wait to grow more vegies. In my stock I put an onion skin, celery tops, zucchini ends, cauliflower leaves & stems, a few cloves of garlic, whole peppercorns & other whole spices, rosemary & some fresh herbs from my garden & some rock salt.
I then put together a beef stew for tonight, a chicken soup for tomorrow's lunch & froze 4 portions of stock. I love being organised. I also weighed my vegies for my breakfast omelette & made a loaf of bread for my husband timed for 8.30 tonight. He walked in the door 10 minutes before it was ready & was starving. He ate some with his beef & vegetable soup.
I'm going to be the stay-at-home wife for a while. I'm enjoying it.
It's raining again now. It's music to my ears. I rang a fellow up today to ask him to come & do some fencing for us. I left a msg that we will be home tomorrow & to call in to see us or to ring tomorrow. We've been meaning to do a few things to make the place nicer & more practical & now seems like the time.
Because my husband will be on call we really don't know when we will have free days. For the moment we decided that he should take what they give him but not double shifts. I am going to learn to go with the flow for as long as I can. It could become a part of my new philosophy! (She says laughing at herself!)
I think it's time I got an early night. I'll be pleased when this bug goes away. It's very tiring. I have got so run down my body is having trouble fighting infection.
Good night friends, "talk" to you tomorrow, xo Cate
 
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I'm still fighting the bug but feel much better today. I decided to have a chat with my son soon but I don't want him to feel bad. Just as I was thinking about him I got a lovely message from him, hoping that I'm feeling better today & that he'll talk to me in the next couple of days when it's easier for me to talk on the phone. He still hasn't remembered my birthday-little rat! It made me feel much better that he was thinking about me.
I spoke to my boss today & told her that I am feeling much better & obviously needed a break & that I am sorting out a lot of things. She sounded pleased to hear it & didn't put any pressure on me ,nor ask if I am coming back to work which was good. Like every-one she has a lot on her plate. I really do like her. The longer I am away from the job the more relaxed I feel. I think that's saying something!
We are planning another quick trip to Melbourne at the end of next week. We will take our 7 yr old grandson over on the Spirit Of Tasmania ship & take him to the Melb Zoo. We will also do a tram trip around the city as he has never been on a tram. We haven't told him all the details or that it's soon as I only just arranged it today. It will be nice to spend some time away just with him as it's really hard to concentrate on him when there's a new (10mths!) baby around. We thought we'd better treat him a trip.
I am loving this not having to think about going to work caper. I can feel my stress evaporating! My husband has started his new job officially today as they rang him last night to come in today! At the moment he's on a casual basis but it seems like he will get as many hours as he will want. It wouldn't be very good if I was heading off to my shift job as well. His job won't be an easy one but he thinks he will like it. I hope so.
Weighed myself this morning as I was very curious to see what has happened now that I have cut down my water intake to <3 litres & I am down to 80kg. I have told hubby that I will weigh myself once a week, no more, & he is not going to "hide" the scales again. I won't weigh any more than that, &, if one week I haven't lost any I will not get disheartened as it has to happen sometime. I can't keep losing a kg every week surely I figured that I have lost on average 1.4kg per week over the 17 wks. Can't complain about that.
Life is looking good from now on. I received a card from my o/s SIL for my birthday with a cheque in it & a message that it is to go towards treating myself to something special. In the middle of my turmoil, I had emailed her, obviously sounding very stressed & she had rung to see if I was ok. Then today I got the card & cheque. How thoughtful of her! I wasn't overwhelmed as I would once have been & embarrassed. It just felt nice to be thought of like that. I had better go email her now & thank her, xo Cate
 
Cate,
I can relate to you on so many levels. My sons (21 and 23) never put any effort into mothers day, my birthdays etc...I have discussed how hurtful it is but it hasn't changed much. They go all out for dad, and he saw how much that hurt, so he told them if they were not going to do anything for me then not to do anything for him. He is wonderful and thoughtful, not sure where they came from(lol). You are correct, that age is very self centered. Thank god for my 10 year old daughter, she still adores me. :) Like you I have not been working for some time now, due to depression among other things. Take stock in knowing how much you have helped so many of us. Without ever meeting you I know you are good, kind, and loving. That means so much to me. I truly hope you are feeling better and have a great week.
Much love, Lori
 
Lori- You absolute sweety! "Good, kind & loving"- Thank you! I hope that I am. My son sent me a text msg from work yesterday asking if I felt any better (re-chest infection) & then remembered my birthday later in the day & sent me another msg saying that he has the memory of a goldfish but does love me very much & would ring when he got home from work.
When he did ring that night I gently let him know how I have been feeling lately & that I was really disappointed that he hadn't rung. He did listen to me this time & seemed shocked that I am going to give up my job. I think our kids think we are Superwoman and don't realise that we too are fragile human beings that need TLC as much as anyone else. I hope he will be more thoughtful towards me & others. He is a really caring person & I guess takes his parents for granted. I love both of my sons & am proud of how they have turned out. He hopefully will become more attuned to other's feelings.
I actually am feeling so much better today I can't believe it. I was getting some wood in for the fire & was whistling. It took me by surprise. A bit later I was singing, under my breath, & realised I was singing "Walking back to happiness" & I realised that the old Cate is coming back. I too have always had depression lurking somewhere in the background. It's a hereditary thing for me (I won't go into that). It can sneak up on you. With me, I know that it will pass because it always has.
I now know that it is my job that has really stressed me out & was causing most of my anxiety & subsequent depression.
I am really enjoying being home. I guess I have never done this, except for when my boys were little & I didn't have time then for myself. I don't think that I will ever become a selfish, self-centred person but I am really enjoying taking time out for me at the moment. I am going to take life slowly for a while. My eldest son, DIL & grand-daughter have gone on a shopping trip today & are picking me up a compost bin. Next year I will be growing lots of delicious, organic, vegies. At the moment I get great joy from going outside to pick my herbs & spinach. I usually do this just before cooking so they are extra fresh.
We are lucky here that it doesn't get too cold to grow things during winter. We get to see the snow on the mountains but it doesn't snow right where we are. I am so close to nature but never far away from anywhere in Tasmania. Our stone home is tucked away on 50 acres in the bush. We have abundant wild-life so the vegies & herbs have to be fenced off from them but we have decking with pots & a small fenced garden off that, where I have my vegies & herbs. I think I will get used to staying at home. I never get bored & I can always hop in the car & get out if I want company.
I'll come back later today, briefly (if that's possible for me!)
This diary and the forum have been so good for me. It's very therapeutic writing down your feelings and reaching out & finding such, loving support.
If by doing this I have helped others then it is well worth it! It goes to show that you are never too old to take a journey of self-discovery! xo Cate
 
I had a lovely day pottering about. I got a call to pick my grand-son up off the school bus & shopping took longer than expected. My grandson is a real sweety. Then eldest son, DIL, & little grand-daughter arrived with my compost bin, which they gave me, hubby arrived home from work & we all ate a throw-together dinner. Well... I watched & then ate my soup when they all left, including hubby.
My youngest son rang tonight to have another chat & he has been offered another job. He is currently working full-time in 1 job & part-time in another but has been offered a managerial position in a very popular, fashionable hotel. He is really suited to hospitality work and has a very vibrant personality. He was very excited & is not rushing into making any decisions just yet. It's good that he rang to tell me as it's nice to think that he doesn't only call me when he's down.
OMG- I got side-tracked (again!) I'm going to be a grandmother again. My DIL took a long time to get pregnant before & so they assumed it would take a long time again but they are expecting no 3!! I LOVE being a grandmother. I think it's a good idea to have the 3rd child straight away because there is a big gap between 1st & 2nd. I'm thrilled for them!
My soup stock is absolutely delicious. I'm going to do that from now on. Every week when I stock up on my veggies I am going to prepare them all & make a stock. It's great to be able to just grab a container of stock, throw in beef or chicken & vegies, no need to add any flavourings & pop the soup on the wood heater. Yummy! I prepared today's meals, tomorrow's meals & froze a chicken soup. If I make a chicken soup I always do the meal 2 quantity, if beef then meal 3 quantity so I don't get confused & so that I can have the maximum amount of veggies.
I'm going to give notice in 2 weeks time & will be pleased to finish up amicably. I will ask for a reference, which shouldn't be a problem. I have no idea what I will do next work-wise if anything, but it's best to be prepared.
The compost bin ES (eldest son) put together for me & I will work out exactly where to put it in the morning. He gave it to me for my birthday to go with an Organic gardening magazine subscription. I'm now being spoiled!!
I might try to have an early night tonight & maybe not wait up for my hubby. I thought about going with him but thought I had better stay at home where's it's nice & warm. I'll be back tomorrow. Hope the Support thread stays nice & chatty. It was good today. xo Cate
 
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Hi Cate, congrats on the new grandbaby! Sounds like things are going great in your world.

I haven't tried soup on Cohens yet. I think I should do that. We're in the process of trying to sell our house and I often need to show it on a moment's notice. Keeping it "showable" w/ three kids constanly underfoot is challenging. Some nice, easy-to-throw-together meals would be a real blessing.

You seem so peaceful since you've left work! Since you love words and communicating, maybe you could pursue a career as a freelance writer....
 
Misty, Thank you. Being a grandma is so good! You are just a lot more relaxed & confident with your grandkids than you were with your kids. Being a parent is such a big unknown & you are always worrying whether you are doing the right thing for them.
I have had another good day. My hubby & I visited an elderly friend who turned 92 yesterday. I had tried ringing him on his birthday but he does not have a land-line & his cell phone often does not get reception. We bought him a custard tart, which he loves, on the way & had a lovely visit. I really love the old guy. He lives up a rough track that I am too scared to drive up and lives in a house without power (he has a generator) & I do like to help him out. He was a part of the stress build up but that is another story. Now that I am no longer going back to my job I can help the people I want to help & not feel unable to cope with all the juggling that was required.
Misty- When I buy all my vegies I trim them, cut them up & put them in the fridge in labelled containers so that when I am going to cook I choose which ones I want & then weigh them out. When I was really battling, but had a burst of energy I would weigh out the next days meal portions. That helped get me through. Some days I just didn't feel like eating at all but that helped. Soup though I would be absolutely lost without. I love my soup. I don't make any more than 2 at once because you have to cook them separately but they are very convenient.
Selling a house is such a big thing. It is very stressful I find. I hope it sells quickly for you-good luck! That would be a real juggling act for you! You sound like a coper! How old are your children?
I have often thought I would like to be a writer. It's funny (uncanny) that you should say that. I suppose I think that no-one would want to read what I write. This diary has been such a surprise to me & a huge boost to my self-esteem. I had enquired about a correspondence course in writing a couple of years ago but it was way too expensive & sounded like a bit of a con.
I guess it wouldn't hurt to just send a story off to a newspaper or magazine & see what response I got. I have always loved words & language. At school my best subjects were English Literature, Eng. Expression & Maths.
It was almost instantaneous that I felt much more peaceful when the decision was made not to go back to my job. I don't think my medication would have had time to kick in & I still am on a waiting list to see a counsellor.
I have an appointment to see my doctor next week & will chat to her about the meds & I may stop taking them. I will go ahead with counselling though as I think it will help me with self-esteem & body image etc. The med's I think are having an unwanted side-effect that I thought might be a possibility after taking Prozac for a little while about 5 years ago when my sister was first diagnosed with cancer.
We used to talk about anything & everything & it was her that alerted me that it might be the medication. I find talking about anything sexual very embarrassing, except to my hubby, but sex was no longer as enjoyable for me & therefore he felt a failure. It takes away a lot of our closeness. I will wait to talk to her next week though as she thought this would not happen with this particular medication.
It's starting to get dark here already as winter is starting to close in. I am so happy that I don't have to go back to work & that my head is clearing. I will not assume that I am now ok & start racing about helping every-one & I will pace myself & take care. I will look after myself. I think I have had a wake-up call!
Having chop suey for my dinner tonight. It's just minced steak, onion, garlic, lots of cabbage, mushroom, ginger, ground coriander, ground cumin, a tiny bit of chilli, salt & peppper, some zucchini maybe, stir-fried with a little bit of water added & I love it. It's nice & easy. Sometimes I add a little balsamic towards the end & pretend it's soy sauce!
Be back later maybe -although I do have a good book! xo Cate
 
Hi Cate, my kids are 4, 6, and 7, so they're not exactly "underfoot" like babies or toddlers. Still, we homeschool, so they are always here. I love it, love being with them, but some days are overwhelming.

I think you should definitely consider writing! If you enjoy nonfiction writing (and I think you'd be great at it-- you're so helpful and kind!), there are many markets you could tackle. With your love of gardening and veggies, you could consider home & garden magazines or organic/natural living ones. Although you are far from a senior citizen, you might consider writing for baby boomer publications. It's a great, popular market right now! And, of course, there are soooo many health, women's, and diet magazines-- all could be great prospects. Local papers and magazines are also a good place to start.

Have I mentioned that I'm a freelance writer? I love writing, and I find that it's the perfect job for a stay-at-home mom. I've only been published a couple of times in print, though. I don't really enjoy the lengthy query process, so I've been focusing on online markets. The pay is not nearly as good, but the process is quicker and you receive your pay much faster. When I grow up :) and learn patience, I plan to pursue magazines again. I've also been thinking about going into copywriting, or writing for businesses. Pay is good and you can do it on a freelance basis.

OK, enough about me. My point is just that there are so many possibilities that involve writing. Many do not require advanced degrees or coursework. There are so many good books out on the subject.

Whatever you decide-- good luck. It must be exciting, having a world of possibilities before you!
 
Misty- Your post has just blown me away. WOW! I love writing & I'm impressed. Can you recommend any particular books ? My sister, Jen had lots of books about it, that I wished I had brought home with me,as she was a writer, (as well as a psychologist & Associate Research Scientist in Sociology at Johns Hopkins, English teacher etc) & had a book published in the U.S. It is called "Getting By On The Minimum, The Lives Of Working-Class Women" & her name was Jennifer Johnson. I was so proud of my sister & at school (& since) have felt a dummy compared to her. She had a lot of encouragement, support & love for me, especially in the last 10 years or so & you can imagine how much I miss that. The sky was the limit with Jen!
I am going to digest what you have said about writing. What the heck I might as well give it a go. I wonder should I write under another name so I can write freely? I'm not sure where to start but will have to search for some info at the library. I do love researching things & am an avid reader.
Life does look good now & full of possibilities. I am not feeling scared or nervous about the uncertainty of it. Something I can do from home!!
Misty- You are a darling!!
Be back tonight when my hubby watches his silly football show, xo Cate.
 
Today was really wintry-wild, windy & rainy. I loved it! I had the fire going nicely, pottered around the house a bit, read for a while & just had another relaxing day. I am now telling friends & family that I am not going back to my old job. It feels good. I can now think about my workplace without my heart racing. I will call in & let them know week after next.
I am starting to get tired of sticking so religiously to the program. I guess it had to happen eventually. I won't deviate now but 4 months is a long time. Up until this last week I hadn't been craving anything but I am starting to look at some ads on tv, especially one where they are sitting around the dinner table eating roast lamb, baked pumpkin & potatoes, broccoli & gravy & drinking red wine & I am almost drooling. Over all of it! I think I have mental hunger if there is such a thing! I also do get hungry now that I am not drinking so much water.
I wonder if it's because I am on the downhill run that I am getting hungry. It's way too soon for re-feed so maybe my body has to re-adjust once again.
I'm tired again tonight. I have so much trouble staying awake these nights. I fall asleep in the chair & then wake up early in the morning & can't get back to sleep so I'm trying hard to stay up later tonight.
Don't think I can though. Goodnight folks, cheers, cate.
 
Hi, I'm Sue (Melbourne). I'm just catching up with all the threads after being off Cohens....(bad me, regaining a slab of the weight lost....sigh).....But now I'm back on track...and finding you all the MOST inspirational people. Thankyou!!
I'm just blown away by the wonderful supportive environment here. I love the tips, positive comments .....
Cate ....I think your weight loss journey could be a book! All us mothers have such similar stories about our kids, I'm sure almost everyone can relate to the ups and downs of being a wife and mother! It's very reassuring to see other people have down times too... sometimes when you are in the "hole", it feels like you'll never get out of it. Thanks for being so brave in sharing!

I'm wondering how others "reward" themselves for reaching weightloss goals, milestones along the way etc?
I've found I really firm up my commitment, if I put money in a jar...instead of buying a daily latte! ....and a $ for each long walk or gym visit! Then this is the money I spend on a pair of smaller trousers, or a manicure.....etc
I don't really miss a $ or so from my purse....and it's amazing how quickly it mounts up!

Cheers and skinny thoughts!
Sue
 
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Hi Sue, Writing in this diary has helped me as much as anyone I think. I think we have all heard that writing your feelings down is the best way of facing them & sorting them out. Sharing with others & then getting that support back & reassurance has helped me find strength & self-confidence. If strangers can take you to their hearts & see how you really are then I am learning to see myself through their eyes.
It is a very supportive forum. We all have let-downs of one sort or another, whether it be, deviating from the program, lack of support from family or friends or numerous others, self image problems etc. In here we know what we are going through & can help one another. I don't know any perfect people! I'll be back later to write more but just wanted to reply to your post. I love visits to my diary- they make my day! xo Cate
 
Hello Cate,

I have been reading through a few pages of your diary. You are very inspiring. Thank you for your kind words on the general forum...it really helps.

I think I might have to come back and pick your brain for some receipe ideas. I'm not much of a cook, or creative in the kitchen. So some ideas and suggestions will be great if you don't mind.

I really like your idea of preparing your vegies and storing them ready to go in the fridge. Like you said I think I will have to get my finger out and be organised. I think that is one of my big downfalls, I am always running late and just forget to pack lunch and buy naughty stuff at lunch time.

Happy Birthday for the other week!!!

I have my B'day in July...on the 18th too. That will be my biggest challenge...I will be 32...I will have to resist my beloved wine and a fancy restaurant....or maybe I can still go somewhere and just be very careful with what I order.

I totally understand what you mean about people that are also overweight and how they don't really seem happy for you when you start losing weight. Its just because they are jealous and probably wish they had your strength and will power to do the same. Maybe you will eventually inspire them to make some healthy changes.

Well I better get moving...the house isn't going to clean it self unfortunately. I want to get to bed at a decent time so I am nice and fresh for my Cohens seminar tomorrow.

Keep up the fantastic work Cate. I will check in often to read your posts.

Toni
 
Dear Cate

I can really relate to what you are saying although I have a little way to go before refeed I am thinking about food and feeling hungry, which I haven't done since starting. Suddenly I am exhasted in the evenings and............. sadly for the family a little (dare I say) "irritable"!!
I am going to persevere for the next 5kg if things haven't improved by then I may reassess my goal weight.
Hopefully we are just 'going through a stage on this journey'

Hugs Nonna
 
Oh Nonna I hope so. I am really hungry again tonight- & tired!! It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one & we are both at about the same stage. I might email the clinic on Monday & ask if it's normal.
Toni- I am happy to share my cooking ideas but I had to laugh. I have never really enjoyed cooking- my husband does most of it (or used to). I think by cooking for myself & learning to be inventive I am taking control of my own health & well-being. The motto food is my medicine is a really good one. I live on stir-fries mainly & change the herbs & spices. I love ginger, cumin & dried coriander. A really simple lunch to take to work is canned tuna, mixed with spring onion, celery, tomato, 1 tspn low-fat mayo, salt & peppper. If you have all your vegies cut up & in labelled containers in the fridge you can throw it together really quickly the night before.
Often, while I'm weighing up my chicken lunch-time stir-fry I will throw together a quick chicken soup & cook it & then either pop in the freezer for emergencies or in the fridge for my next day's lunch.
Once a fortnight I purchase chicken breast fillets, minced lean steak, & rump steak. I then weigh the chicken into my lunchtime portions & all of the beef into evening meal portions. I always choose the portion that allows me the most vegies. I find it less confusing to do it this way & then at night I can just grab what I want for the next day.
Toni, I have probably given you too much info I just realised as you haven't yet got your program so won't continue. I do feel being organised is the key to success (& picturing what you are going to look like). As for the birthday celebrations I figured that I would wait to celebrate. I find eating out is just way too difficult. It's too easy to muck up without meaning to. I figure I have the rest of my life to celebrate & I will enjoy it much more being slim & looking good.
I won't go back & re-read this as I think I would delete most & know I've rambled on. Goodnight, Cate.
 
Today I am sooo hungry!! What is going on? I don't like being hungry. I think I still have 10 or 11kg's to go. I can't figure it out!!
I tried on my size 14 pants that I bought in Melb a while ago & they now fit me perfectly & look great. My hubby was very impressed. I tried on a few things to show him this morning & now have some really nice outfits. I had bought a really nice red jumper at an op shop. It's very straight & with a boat neck- looks good with the 14 pants & a new black skivvy, that I bought yesterday. I just cannot believe how I look. It is also such a relief to no longer feel stressed to the max. I even listened to some classical music today but then put on a "world mix" & bopped around the kitchen a little while I prepared & then stewed some apples. I did 10 apples, with cinnamon mainly & a little nutmeg, let it cool & have divided it up (by weighing) into 5 containers, which I have labelled- "2 apples", ready to go in the freezer. I didn't add any sweetener at all & it's delicious. I confess!- I licked the spoon!!
It isn't mango but it will certainly improve my yoghurt for brekky, which I have 2-3 times a week. What I will do is take one container out of the fridge the night before & either my hubby can have 1/2 or I will have it the next day as part of my fruit allowance. He'll be lucky to get any.
He's playing golf today as he hasn't been rung to go to work. We're not sure how his new job will work, hours wise, but it seems he will get enough to support the 2 of us. I don't know if he was really aware of how bad I was but he certainly is putting no pressure on me at all to look for a job. I am probably a lot nicer to live with now. I am finding myself much nicer to live with!!
We are looking after our little granddaughter tonight while they go to a birthday party so thought I had better get in here now as may not get the chance later. Plus I seem to fall asleep every evening & then wake up early. I'll have to try to break the pattern soon. One thing at a time.
It's lovely having new Cohenites joining the forum & my diary but I am also wondering where a couple of my "old" mates have gone. Annie? How are you going? Now that I am not working I have more time. I will have to get myself properly set up with a decent desk, filing cabinet & a comfy office chair. Mmm. Plus I only have a laptop & would love a PC with keyboard & good sized monitor. I find it hard typing on a laptop( not that you'd notice!) & the touchpad can get annoying. I feel funny about spending money on these things when I am chucking in my job. It's either that or stop coming in here so often. It's killing my back & shoulders. I sit at a table- not good.
On that note I had better finish up. Will come back for a look later if possible, xo Cate
 
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