Cate's Diary

Oh Cate, she certainly sounds an absolute cow.What a mean spiteful person she is, to use children as a weapon. She is jealous and, as my old welsh granny would say, has a black soul. Your grandchildren aren't daft, they can see the games she's playing and probably despise her for it.It's great that you have this apt coming up. Unloading and spilling it all out will do you the world of good.
 
Hi Polly, Thank you! She is mean & spiteful, but I should learn to let it wash off me. I'm not very good at that. Maybe I can learn some more coping skills.
Hi Jen, Thank you for the hugs. It's very hard to keep up with the diaries at the moment. I read them all, but don't always post. If I feel someone has already covered what I would say I sigh a sigh of relief & move on to the next. I love your new avatar, btw. What drawing are you currently working on?

G's Vets golf got abandoned after 9 holes. They got hailed on twice & rained on & it was freezing. It is been an absolutely crazy year, weather-wise! It has not rained this much in recorded history.
I went for a walk in the rain today. It was all of the above, but I bought a new bright red Goretex raincoat a couple of weeks ago & have decided I am going to go for a walk each day for as long as I can, rain, hail or shine. Yes.....I have started a streak, but it is not a running streak, it's a walking streak.
I need to get out there & walk every day. It's for my body & my mental health.
 
Walking streak sound good to me :) according to my fitbit I'm already doing one though :p I'm sure that appointment will do you lots of good. Take care!
 
I am so sorry to hear about the family problems, Cate. Just continue doing what you are doing with your grand kids- they love you regardless of what is being said to them. Kids are amazing in how quickly they can see through lies. Sending healing thoughts your way!
 
So I went to this "how to deal with difficult people" training years ago and they gave us all these strategies and techniques but at the end the guy said there will be people that no matter what you try or do will remain very hard to deal with. In those cases you just gotta say to yourself..."she is doing it again, oh well, that's what she does" It actually kinda keeps you from getting too worked up about it. It is hard to fix mean or stupid.
 
Thank you LaMa, cowboy & brawny. I think it is important to keep doing what I am doing & I will try not to absorb her nastiness. The kids are smart & they should work it out for themselves. We'll continue to avoid criticising her. Brawny- you made me smile. Our son said virtually the same thing. "Mum, it's like trying to talk reason to a mass murderer".

I'm off to golf today so......
Walking streak, day 2 :D
I never feel like going to play golf with the women & I know I am down at the moment, so I am making myself go anyway. I can do this! I'll track my walk with Runkeeper, just to see how many k's I do walk in my 18-hole round of golf. It's very hard going at the moment as it's actually really boggy!
 
Keep on going! Do you feel better after you go? Maybe you need new golf partners?

Does boggy mean humid? I hope so, cuz I need to start saying it.
 
I'll try not to make this an essay.
I played with A, who I quite like & R, who I like a lot. It was very cold & very boggy (thanks Kate)& I was playing better than I have been for weeks, but as I went on I felt sicker & sicker. A said she could smell spray, when we were on each of the greens, but I couldn't smell anything. I had a blocked nose & ears. I felt really ill coming up the 9th, but as we came onto the 9th green I started to feel really dizzy & then the smell hit me! I finished the hole (badly- 3 putts) & abandoned the game. I sat inside with another woman who had also quit as her knee was painful. I felt a little better after about 30 minutes & decided I could drive home. I didn't get far though & had to pull over a couple of times. I drove to the river in town & sat there for about 15 minutes. I rang G to tell him I was on my way home & what had happened. I was a bit scared. I messaged him when I left for home. I had to pull over a couple of times because I kept crying.

It was my worst reaction ever. I'm scared that I am becoming more & more allergic & am having stronger reactions to chemicals. I'm afraid my life is going to change for the worse. It's very hard to explain to anyone that has never experienced the things I experience after a bad exposure- the brain fog, disorientation, palpitations, headache, throbbing sinuses, itchiness, shakiness....... It's not always all of those things all at once, but yesterday it was. My face is still throbbing today & I feel exhausted & very itchy.

I will stay at home for a couple of days & am not going back out to the golf club until I know what caused it. G phoned the guy who looks after the greens when I got home in such a state & he said he hasn't sprayed anything for weeks & didn't think anyone else had. There is a farm across the road from the course & they have a recently plowed paddock. I'm not sure how I can find out if they have used anything in the last couple of days and/or plan on using anything else in the near future, without them getting their backs up. It is owned by one of the women golfers & her husband & they crop for a living. I just need to know what it was that caused such a reaction & when anyone is likely to use it again so that I can stay away when they do.

It may be that my reaction was so bad coming after the days spent watching the 8-ball, where I just couldn't avoid the "room deodorisers" that were in every toilet in the place. Avoidance is the only option, which means staying at home. That's hard for a naturally gregarious person. I'll be going for a walk today in the next hour or so I think. I'll head for our bush. I'm very glad we don't live in a town & also that we don't live next to a farm.

One thing I must say re the women golfers. They are starting to be more considerate towards me regarding perfumes etc. I'm sure they used to dismiss my allergies as me being difficult, but I have really noticed they are being much more careful. I do appreciate that. Most of them are older than me & have been using hairspray, smelly hand lotion, smelly makeup etc for most of their lives, without thinking about it, so to make allowances for me is a big thing for some of them. They apologise for forgetting, which is better than not caring at all. I'm getting through to them it seems, but it has been via the hard way.

OK. It ended up an essay. It would have been longer if I had typed this last night. I started last night & then ended up bawling again :blush5:
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Just for something different I thought I would put in my today's meal plan-
BF- tasty cheese, a little ham, a little salami, celery with some hummus, followed by a small tub of Chobani passion fruit yoghurt, some watermelon & honeydew melon.
Lunch- home-made tuna fritters, with a side salad
Dinner- is going to be a baked leg of venison with baked veg & a ratatouille-style veg as well. Probably followed by either some fresh fruit or some Soy ice cream with a few prunes, that have been soaked in Muscat. (D & the GK's are coming for dinner.)
I am about to go for my walk. I'm feeling much better, thank goodness.
 
I´m sorry to hear you had such a bad reaction, Cate. Could it also have been a combination with some of the pollen flying around right now? When allergens team up on you stuff can get really nasty without anything having changed inside your body. I hope you´ll feel a lot better very soon. :grouphug:
 
Oh no! I hope you figure out what caused your reaction. That's not good. Hopefully it doesn't get worse. I hope you're feeling better!
 
Thanks, LaMa. I don't think it can be just the pollen. I do sneeze a lot more in Spring, but this was something else. The brain fog & dizziness is almost always after a reaction to synthetic chemicals. I don't know if I'll get to the bottom of it, but I hope to. At least the incessant rain today should wash it away. I think it was a spray used to kill Corbie grubs. It's fungal apparently. I do react badly to mould. I'll keep asking around. It hasn't been a good week for either of us. Hugs right back to you, hon :grouphug:

LJ- I had to look up tucas. I had never heard that one :) Allergies suck. I think a lot of us suffer from them. I don't mind so much being allergic to natural things. I mean, how can you object to nature? Unfortunately, we are living in a world that thinks it's OK to use chemicals at every opportunity. Without wanting to sound like a radical "greenie" I think we are losing the plot.

Jen- Thanks hon. After a day at home I felt quite a bit better xoxo.......

......until our son arrived with the GK's & our GD was absolutely smothered in perfume. Once again her mother had not sent them to school, our GD looked like a "mini mum" & smelt like her too. She is 10 for F's sake. Whatever happened to kids being kids? They didn't know they were coming up for dinner & I hope that things would have been different if she had known. D said they could eat outside as he said it was even affecting him in the car. It was horrible really. I went & got some face washers- one wet & one dry & he tried to wash it off & then found a jumper in her bag & she put it on. I had to try to stay clear of her( no hugs) & that felt bad. It still affected me badly & I know that she would have known that too.
I opened the windows & doors to get rid of fumes after they left. There is no residual smell this morning.

According to E she had spent the day off school because she had a "bad ankle". When one kid stays home the other does too. There were no signs of a bad ankle last night. She was doing high kicks etc outside. Her Mum is a drop kick. Apparently, she has split with her BF again & that may have been the reason the kids stayed home from school. The kids are meant to stay with us again in 2 weeks time. It is very complicated, but D never wants to tell her that as he then cops a major round of abuse about "palming off" his kids to us. When she finds out she usually keeps them. She won't negotiate to change the arrangement at all, so D can't say that he can't have them one night & to swap, so he asks us to have them. It is much harder now she has moved further away. Now they don't talk at all.

I wish they would communicate civilly. The thought of the next weekend that we are meant to have them is daunting, instead of the old joy of having them. If I ask Ella to not wear anything smelly then her Mum will know that they are going to come here & then most probably they won't & D will cop a major blast! Grrr!!!!

OK. I need to talk to him about it & he will need to tell her. He gets ranted at as it is. What's one more right?

I am going to have to walk in the rain today. I have been loving my walks the last 3 days & riding my bike instead won't cut it. G & I are going hiking again on Sunday.
 
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