Cate's Diary
- Thread starter Cate
- Start date
Hi Cate
Its great to hear that you are feeling good at the moment. All that positive energy is a fantastic thing. I can't wait till I can say that I am in the 70kgs.. seems so far away.
So this is my third day on Cohens, and its going surprisingly well. I am not feeling really hungry, I feel content when I have finished my meals (maybe not necessarily satisfied, but all in good time).
As you said, its about being organised. I am finding since I dedicate a fair bit of time to buying, weighing and cooking my meals, I find myself putting it on a nice smaller plate, pour some Diet Caffine Free coke into a wine glass and sit down and eat my meal slowly and actually enjoy it.
Today I cooked a nice omelette for breaky, it was rather yum. Its weird that I didn't want to sleep in too late as I would muck up my eating schedule.
I know I shouldn't but I jumped on the scales this morning, and I am nearly 3kg lighter....is that possible so soon and especially as I have my period at the moment. Anyway its a big motivator either way.
Annie, hope you have a wonderful time in Sydney with your hubby, he sounds lovely.
Cate, enjoy your weekend.
Look forward to hearing more from your ladies. I might start up my own thread, might help me keep on track and get any suggestions from other Cohenites.
toni
Its great to hear that you are feeling good at the moment. All that positive energy is a fantastic thing. I can't wait till I can say that I am in the 70kgs.. seems so far away.
So this is my third day on Cohens, and its going surprisingly well. I am not feeling really hungry, I feel content when I have finished my meals (maybe not necessarily satisfied, but all in good time).
As you said, its about being organised. I am finding since I dedicate a fair bit of time to buying, weighing and cooking my meals, I find myself putting it on a nice smaller plate, pour some Diet Caffine Free coke into a wine glass and sit down and eat my meal slowly and actually enjoy it.
Today I cooked a nice omelette for breaky, it was rather yum. Its weird that I didn't want to sleep in too late as I would muck up my eating schedule.
I know I shouldn't but I jumped on the scales this morning, and I am nearly 3kg lighter....is that possible so soon and especially as I have my period at the moment. Anyway its a big motivator either way.
Annie, hope you have a wonderful time in Sydney with your hubby, he sounds lovely.
Cate, enjoy your weekend.
Look forward to hearing more from your ladies. I might start up my own thread, might help me keep on track and get any suggestions from other Cohenites.
toni
Cate
Long term member
Toni- It is absolutely possible (probable!) that you have lost 3 kg that quickly. There was a week early on that I lost 5kg. That had me well & truly hooked on Cohen's!! I started my diary at 9wks & would recommend it as a great motivator. I get so much encouragement & support in here.
Like you, I found it hard to imagine being in the 70's. It just gets easier as you go. When you know that you WILL lose weight & your clothes get baggier & baggier it will seem to go quicker.
Your actual weight becomes less important & the measurements & what you see in the mirror counts for more! I accidentally said I was 87kg to someone the other day, instead of 77!! You start to feel that anything is possible. I think my goal weight of 69kg may change to the lower limit of 66kg. More than 36kg just seemed impossible to me at the start, but I think I can still see about 10kg of fat that it would be nice to lose. I will let the hunger be my guide though but will try to ignore it if I am not under 70kg when it happens.
I wish the old ticker would stay the same so people (& myself) could see how it changes each month. Every time you up-date you ticker it changes all your previous posts. A little annoying!
My husband is home today & is doing the vacuuming. What a sweetie! It's the only household chore that I really dislike. It also upsets my sinuses, hayfever & asthma. Since leaving work I have never felt better, allergy-wise. The air-conditioning & perfumes(that were not meant to be worn) used to mean that my sinuses were almost always puffy & red. Not a good look along with my inbuilt insulation.(aka fat)
I am calling in at my work-place (ex) to say an official good-bye on Tues. as I have to go nearby to have my blood test. I am taking my grandson to buy him a new pair of shoes & he will be a handy "security blanket." I will wear my smartest outfit so I feel better about going in there. I have to hand back my security pass, name tag etc. I feel relieved that I have resigned but don't want any ill will as I really like a lot of the staff & would like to keep in touch with a few of them.
Tonight we are going out so I am going to take it fairly easy during the day. I was going to have chicken soup for lunch but apparently it gives me garlic breath so had better have something else & save it for tomorrow.
I too Toni carefully prepare & cook my meals & then sit down, with something good to read & a nice drink & savour every little morsel. I have learned to appreciate my food instead of shovelling it in without much thought. It should be how we eat always.
I'll be back tomorrow as I think I will go for a short walk in the sunshine. Cheers for now, Cate.
Like you, I found it hard to imagine being in the 70's. It just gets easier as you go. When you know that you WILL lose weight & your clothes get baggier & baggier it will seem to go quicker.
Your actual weight becomes less important & the measurements & what you see in the mirror counts for more! I accidentally said I was 87kg to someone the other day, instead of 77!! You start to feel that anything is possible. I think my goal weight of 69kg may change to the lower limit of 66kg. More than 36kg just seemed impossible to me at the start, but I think I can still see about 10kg of fat that it would be nice to lose. I will let the hunger be my guide though but will try to ignore it if I am not under 70kg when it happens.
I wish the old ticker would stay the same so people (& myself) could see how it changes each month. Every time you up-date you ticker it changes all your previous posts. A little annoying!
My husband is home today & is doing the vacuuming. What a sweetie! It's the only household chore that I really dislike. It also upsets my sinuses, hayfever & asthma. Since leaving work I have never felt better, allergy-wise. The air-conditioning & perfumes(that were not meant to be worn) used to mean that my sinuses were almost always puffy & red. Not a good look along with my inbuilt insulation.(aka fat)
I am calling in at my work-place (ex) to say an official good-bye on Tues. as I have to go nearby to have my blood test. I am taking my grandson to buy him a new pair of shoes & he will be a handy "security blanket." I will wear my smartest outfit so I feel better about going in there. I have to hand back my security pass, name tag etc. I feel relieved that I have resigned but don't want any ill will as I really like a lot of the staff & would like to keep in touch with a few of them.
Tonight we are going out so I am going to take it fairly easy during the day. I was going to have chicken soup for lunch but apparently it gives me garlic breath so had better have something else & save it for tomorrow.
I too Toni carefully prepare & cook my meals & then sit down, with something good to read & a nice drink & savour every little morsel. I have learned to appreciate my food instead of shovelling it in without much thought. It should be how we eat always.
I'll be back tomorrow as I think I will go for a short walk in the sunshine. Cheers for now, Cate.
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Cate
Long term member
I slept in this morning until 9, which I haven't dome for ages. The 50th was ok but not great. I feel very self-conscious in some social situations & don't really enjoy "big" occasions like weddings etc & I never have. It's nothing to do with whatever size I am & is hard to explain. I'm posting a little late in the day & am a little tired so will go into it further tomorow.
I had a good day today, pottering about, doing nothing much in particular, just being at home. My mum rang & was very cheerful & chatty. She actually talks more than I do!!!! I rang our youngest son & had a quick chat to him. Things are going really well for him at the moment. He is about to go to England to represent Australia at the World 8-ball titles. I am so proud of him. He has also been offered a great job when he returns. He is only 24 & is doing well. He too can be quite insecure so I love it when he is so positive. Being a mum is great but worrying is part of the job description.
Up until now I have been fairly careful not to type anything that I thought might identify me to anyone I know here in Tasmania but I really don't think it's important to me any more. Honesty in expressing your doubts & feelings shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. I don't know what I was worrying about.
I got a lot of very favourable comments about my new look last night but am still uncomfortable & not quite fitting my new skin. I hope this comes with time. I don't know how to hold myself as everything feels different. I also got one very drunken, silly comment that wasn't at all positive! " I thought you were dying!" His girl-friend had commented to my hubby on how much weight I had lost. I heard her say to him "Wow, look at your shrinking wife over there!" She said nothing to me all night but my hubby had proudly told her what I had been doing to get that way. She must have then told her boy-friend who later staggered up to me & attempted a conversation. I have no idea if he was trying to be nice as it was hard to tell. Looking like you were dying is not exactly encouraging. I have felt that a lot of people have thought the same thing so will be pleased if word does get around & I don't get any more comments like that.
My younger sister has badges saying she is allergic to perfume & I had joked to her that I might get one saying "I don't have cancer!" It would probably create even more confusion & un-wanted attention.
Time to go get my dinner ready. Sorry if I'm all over the place today. It's because my head is clearer in the mornings than the afternoons. I'm not down, just tired & a little hungry. I just realised I still haven't eaten 2/3 of my cracker allowance & it's 6.10pm! Cheers, Cate
I had a good day today, pottering about, doing nothing much in particular, just being at home. My mum rang & was very cheerful & chatty. She actually talks more than I do!!!! I rang our youngest son & had a quick chat to him. Things are going really well for him at the moment. He is about to go to England to represent Australia at the World 8-ball titles. I am so proud of him. He has also been offered a great job when he returns. He is only 24 & is doing well. He too can be quite insecure so I love it when he is so positive. Being a mum is great but worrying is part of the job description.
Up until now I have been fairly careful not to type anything that I thought might identify me to anyone I know here in Tasmania but I really don't think it's important to me any more. Honesty in expressing your doubts & feelings shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. I don't know what I was worrying about.
I got a lot of very favourable comments about my new look last night but am still uncomfortable & not quite fitting my new skin. I hope this comes with time. I don't know how to hold myself as everything feels different. I also got one very drunken, silly comment that wasn't at all positive! " I thought you were dying!" His girl-friend had commented to my hubby on how much weight I had lost. I heard her say to him "Wow, look at your shrinking wife over there!" She said nothing to me all night but my hubby had proudly told her what I had been doing to get that way. She must have then told her boy-friend who later staggered up to me & attempted a conversation. I have no idea if he was trying to be nice as it was hard to tell. Looking like you were dying is not exactly encouraging. I have felt that a lot of people have thought the same thing so will be pleased if word does get around & I don't get any more comments like that.
My younger sister has badges saying she is allergic to perfume & I had joked to her that I might get one saying "I don't have cancer!" It would probably create even more confusion & un-wanted attention.
Time to go get my dinner ready. Sorry if I'm all over the place today. It's because my head is clearer in the mornings than the afternoons. I'm not down, just tired & a little hungry. I just realised I still haven't eaten 2/3 of my cracker allowance & it's 6.10pm! Cheers, Cate
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Cate
Long term member
Early this week I weighed myself & I was 76.5kg. I typed that weight in here & I was so excited. The next day I weighed again, thinking I might have got down to 76 & lo & behold I have been 77 every day since, including today. I will weigh again tomorrow because never say die are my middle names & will update my ticker tomorrow. Whatever weight I am tomorrow will be my official 4 weekly weight.
Another lesson learned. Don't weigh more than once a week- EVER!
Apparently at re-feed you have to weigh daily to keep an eye on what's happening when you re-introduce things but that will be very different.
I feel a bit peeved, rather than decimated so it's ok but..... You think I would have learned by now that it's not a good idea to obsess over the scales. I have been retaining water I think & am having so much trouble going to the toilet.
My old standby of chicken soup is sitting on the top level of the wood heater slowly warming up. My hubby is off playing golf & I have spent most of my day on the phone catching up with some old (some very old) friends.
I have always been the one who calls but I don't let that put me off. A good friend is worth the effort, regardless. I miss quite a few of my friends from Victoria. We used to be a really large close group of friends, when we were much younger & spent a lot of time together. Naturally everyone is spread all over the place & don't see a lot of one another. Occasionally we have got them together for a barbie in a park in Melb. when we have visited & it's been like a school reunion.
It might be fun to organise something like that again. I don't feel like organising a party at our place but might for my hubby's 60th in 2009. I enjoy parties for him but not for me as I do not like being the centre of attention at all.
I have to organise a massage for myself this week & will type in here when I have an appointment. Someone please berate me if I haven't organised it. My back is really painful at the moment. I must get a computer desk & a new chair as well because I think that's the biggest problem. Using a laptop doesn't help either. That requires a trip to Launceston though & spending lots of money. Now that I don't have my own income I feel that I should not be spending too much. It's really hard to change your way of thinking. I have always had an independent income. Hopefully I'll get over it.
I am considering cutting down my cracker allowance a little just for the last leg of my Cohen's journey. I will ask my consultant first as I don't want to self-sabotage accidentally. It may just help me get to goal a little quicker. It's possibly water-retention from salt that is the problem but I really dislike the non-salty cracker alternatives. To me they taste like cardboard.
I am more addicted to salt & savoury foods than sweet foods. I do not ever mentally crave chocolate or cheesecake. Instead I imagine eating some salty nuts or black olives, anchovies, red wine etc. The thought of drinking alcohol again is a little scary but am looking forward to a little taste of a good red wine.
I also think I will eat more fish for the next month & see what that does. It's funny that I am starting to get impatient. It's just that I can actually see what I think is about 10kg of fat & I want it to go away. NOW!
It's time for lunch so will have a break. I'll come back later for a quick look.
Typing in here an hour before a meal is due gets me through easily to meal time so is a good distraction & time filler.
I'm looking forward to hearing from Annie after her week-end in Sydney. Hope it lived up to it's promise Annie!
Cheers, Cate
Another lesson learned. Don't weigh more than once a week- EVER!
Apparently at re-feed you have to weigh daily to keep an eye on what's happening when you re-introduce things but that will be very different.
I feel a bit peeved, rather than decimated so it's ok but..... You think I would have learned by now that it's not a good idea to obsess over the scales. I have been retaining water I think & am having so much trouble going to the toilet.
My old standby of chicken soup is sitting on the top level of the wood heater slowly warming up. My hubby is off playing golf & I have spent most of my day on the phone catching up with some old (some very old) friends.
I have always been the one who calls but I don't let that put me off. A good friend is worth the effort, regardless. I miss quite a few of my friends from Victoria. We used to be a really large close group of friends, when we were much younger & spent a lot of time together. Naturally everyone is spread all over the place & don't see a lot of one another. Occasionally we have got them together for a barbie in a park in Melb. when we have visited & it's been like a school reunion.
It might be fun to organise something like that again. I don't feel like organising a party at our place but might for my hubby's 60th in 2009. I enjoy parties for him but not for me as I do not like being the centre of attention at all.
I have to organise a massage for myself this week & will type in here when I have an appointment. Someone please berate me if I haven't organised it. My back is really painful at the moment. I must get a computer desk & a new chair as well because I think that's the biggest problem. Using a laptop doesn't help either. That requires a trip to Launceston though & spending lots of money. Now that I don't have my own income I feel that I should not be spending too much. It's really hard to change your way of thinking. I have always had an independent income. Hopefully I'll get over it.
I am considering cutting down my cracker allowance a little just for the last leg of my Cohen's journey. I will ask my consultant first as I don't want to self-sabotage accidentally. It may just help me get to goal a little quicker. It's possibly water-retention from salt that is the problem but I really dislike the non-salty cracker alternatives. To me they taste like cardboard.
I am more addicted to salt & savoury foods than sweet foods. I do not ever mentally crave chocolate or cheesecake. Instead I imagine eating some salty nuts or black olives, anchovies, red wine etc. The thought of drinking alcohol again is a little scary but am looking forward to a little taste of a good red wine.
I also think I will eat more fish for the next month & see what that does. It's funny that I am starting to get impatient. It's just that I can actually see what I think is about 10kg of fat & I want it to go away. NOW!
It's time for lunch so will have a break. I'll come back later for a quick look.
Typing in here an hour before a meal is due gets me through easily to meal time so is a good distraction & time filler.
I'm looking forward to hearing from Annie after her week-end in Sydney. Hope it lived up to it's promise Annie!
Cheers, Cate
Cate, just been catching up with your diary. Wow you've come along way, and I don't just mean your weight. You are one fantastic lady. I've not been on this forum for months and when I came in today and saw your diary I just wanted to read up and see how you've been tracking. Well, you've taken me through a range of emotions and kept me hooked to the p.c (I started on page 7) until I got to the end and just had to send a post. 
I am impressed with your self-determination and ability to pick up and dust off. I have been able to relate to some of what you've said and have been considering counselling myself to help deal with my perception and attitude towards food.
After having completed refeed on 2nd May, I've managed to put 6kg back on. This morning when I got up I made a commitment to lose it and get back down to goal. I'm back on the program just for a week or so, no more than 2weeks I hope otherwise I need to do refeed over and it is just too fiddly to go back to. I feel more resolved now just by reading your diary. Thank you.
When you come over to Melb later in the year, I would love to meet up with you and Annie (and any other Melb cohenites), for coffee and a chat and perhaps, if refeed is over for all, a meal in the city if it suits.
Enjoy the time you have given yourself away from the pressures of work and the demands that family needs and be kind to yourself. Make sure you have that massage and why not see what relaxation packages are offered there as well. Sometimes it works out cheaper than if you bought them individually.
Take care dear Cate,
Lauren
I am impressed with your self-determination and ability to pick up and dust off. I have been able to relate to some of what you've said and have been considering counselling myself to help deal with my perception and attitude towards food. After having completed refeed on 2nd May, I've managed to put 6kg back on. This morning when I got up I made a commitment to lose it and get back down to goal. I'm back on the program just for a week or so, no more than 2weeks I hope otherwise I need to do refeed over and it is just too fiddly to go back to. I feel more resolved now just by reading your diary. Thank you.
When you come over to Melb later in the year, I would love to meet up with you and Annie (and any other Melb cohenites), for coffee and a chat and perhaps, if refeed is over for all, a meal in the city if it suits.
Enjoy the time you have given yourself away from the pressures of work and the demands that family needs and be kind to yourself. Make sure you have that massage and why not see what relaxation packages are offered there as well. Sometimes it works out cheaper than if you bought them individually.
Take care dear Cate,
Lauren
Cate
Long term member
Lauren Wow! I got such a lovely surprise to see you had posted in my diary. You were really inspirational to me when I first started my diary & I admired your spirit & determination. I found it very daunting to have so much to lose but was reassured to see others, like you, had even more to lose but were almost at goal!
I just read your post out to my husband. It is so nice & has really made me feel good. Thank you very much. I would love to catch up with you, Annie & whoever else wants to catch up with us in Melbourne later in the year. If I'm not at goal by then I'll be easy to recognise. I'll be the bald woman as I will have torn my hair out with frustration! Perhaps we could meet at a Cohen's-friendly restaurant/ coffee lounge in Melbourne.
Australian Story is about to start & I really enjoy that & then Andrew Denton so will be back tomorrow night to post again & describe my day with my grandson, my goodbye to my work-mates & our shopping trip.
I have decided I will post some photos on here sometime in the future. I will have to ask friends for some before photos as I hardly have any. I don't know who I will get to take my afters (maybe my husband). They won't be posed befores to highlight the fat though because I don't have any thank god.
Today I had actually spent some time checking out spa packages. I do feel like having a full-on pampering session as I have never had one. There is a place in Launceston called the Mud Club at the Seaport resort that sounds good but I might wait until I can have the full package with champagne & caviar. Ooh....it sounds so good! I do need a massage this week though.
My hubby cooked me "fiery fish" tonight. It's a tasty stir-fry that is just delicious. I have been really hungry today which is a bit of a bugger. It was a cold day & that may be why. I think I'll go back to the 1 egg omelette for brekky again, with crackers 1 hr before lunch etc. Just as I thought I might be able to cut down crackers I am ravenous! Oh well....
Time to put this laptop away & spend some time with hubby.
Good night fellow Cohenites, xo Cate
I just read your post out to my husband. It is so nice & has really made me feel good. Thank you very much. I would love to catch up with you, Annie & whoever else wants to catch up with us in Melbourne later in the year. If I'm not at goal by then I'll be easy to recognise. I'll be the bald woman as I will have torn my hair out with frustration! Perhaps we could meet at a Cohen's-friendly restaurant/ coffee lounge in Melbourne.
Australian Story is about to start & I really enjoy that & then Andrew Denton so will be back tomorrow night to post again & describe my day with my grandson, my goodbye to my work-mates & our shopping trip.
I have decided I will post some photos on here sometime in the future. I will have to ask friends for some before photos as I hardly have any. I don't know who I will get to take my afters (maybe my husband). They won't be posed befores to highlight the fat though because I don't have any thank god.
Today I had actually spent some time checking out spa packages. I do feel like having a full-on pampering session as I have never had one. There is a place in Launceston called the Mud Club at the Seaport resort that sounds good but I might wait until I can have the full package with champagne & caviar. Ooh....it sounds so good! I do need a massage this week though.
My hubby cooked me "fiery fish" tonight. It's a tasty stir-fry that is just delicious. I have been really hungry today which is a bit of a bugger. It was a cold day & that may be why. I think I'll go back to the 1 egg omelette for brekky again, with crackers 1 hr before lunch etc. Just as I thought I might be able to cut down crackers I am ravenous! Oh well....
Time to put this laptop away & spend some time with hubby.
Good night fellow Cohenites, xo Cate
Annie_Lusion
New member
Hi Cate,
have you booked the massage?..just kidding!
I did have a lovely weekend, it was great and yes it did live up to it's promise
A catch up in Melb later on in the year sounds great, count me in!!
Lauren: congrats on your amazing result, i too have followed your progress from February when i started and you have been very inspirational.
I have the day off today and am doing nothing...yay!!
Have a great day Cate..till next time
Annie Lusion
have you booked the massage?..just kidding!
I did have a lovely weekend, it was great and yes it did live up to it's promise
A catch up in Melb later on in the year sounds great, count me in!!
Lauren: congrats on your amazing result, i too have followed your progress from February when i started and you have been very inspirational.
I have the day off today and am doing nothing...yay!!
Have a great day Cate..till next time
Annie Lusion
Cate
Long term member
Annie, I'm glad you had a good weekend. It's good to be alive & having such lovely husbands makes it even better! Catching up with you & Lauren later in the year sounds like a fun thing to do. Perhaps a shopping trip together maybe.
What a day! I'm exhausted! A (our GS)& I shopped until we dropped. I've just put him to bed after deciding he could stay the night. He always jumps at the chance, which is delightful. He is such a sweety. He cuddles up on my lap & wants a back scratch. I had 2 dogs & A all curled up on & around me tonight on my recliner.
I scored a size 14 wool/cashmere, fully lined, mid-calf black coat for $5 in an op shop today so I'm not going to worry about trying to have my old coat adjusted. I'll get it dry-cleaned to spruce it up & it's in really good nick. It's the same quality as my old, size 22 one which cost me $200 & was thigh-length only. I couldn't believe my luck. I think I might get used to this op-shopping. I'm ok if the shop doesn't smell old & musty.
I bought thermal undies from Mountain Design, a great back-pack which will be useful for travel & for going bush-walking with the "Wacky Walkers" & a water bladder that fits into it. I also bought a Ray Charles CD, A "War sucks" badge, shoes for A, tried on some long, black Colorado boots which were a little bit small & they are going to order me some in (nice), dark chocolate for my husband, A's birthday present (it's in July), groceries......and left a bag behind in a shop.
When I got home my husband was on the phone as the shop owner had rung to ask me if I left a silk bag behind. I didn't even know that I had. Luckily I had joined a club to get discounts with them & they had my phone number (but didn't get my mobile #). From the contents they had worked out it was probably mine. Otherwise, I would have been ringing almost every shop in Dev't trying to find where I had left it (when I realised I was missing it!) Phew!
Then I had to try to think how the heck I was going to get the bag in the next couple of days without making an 80 km trip. A neighbour rang about an hour ago to ask if I want free-range eggs off her this week. I remembered she often goes to Dev't as she has a daughter that lives there so I asked her if she was going in the next couple of days. Wouldn't you know she is going there first thing in the morning & will pick the bag up for me. If I was a religious person I would say I am blessed.
I called in at work this morning & it was so good. I was given a birthday present & card from my team which they must have written on about the time of my birthday. The reception I got was just lovely- lots of hugs & kisses & what seemed to be genuine feelings of regret that I was leaving. I exchanged phone numbers with the ones I really wanted to keep in touch with & didn't feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. The boss of the company was there as well & she came up to me & said she hardly recognised me & said some lovely things. I have always got on very well with her. A lot of the staff seem frightened of her but I have never been. I think we are all equal. My immediate boss was also very nice & gave me a big hug & a kiss. I came away knowing I had done the right thing by everyone including myself. It was good to leave on such a positive note.
This morning I weighed myself AGAIN to get my 4 week weight & I was-
76kgs Hoo bloody ray!! I'm not weighing again until next week.
I'll update my ticker tomorrow I think as I don't know if my tired old brain would manage it tonight.
My present from work was lovely. I got a clock on a wrought iron stand, that has an antique French look about it. There is a very smart looking woman sitting down drinking a Martini. I really do like it. I also got a nice woollen scarf. I gathered that there was another present coming soon as well. My team are having a night out at the end of the month & want me to go along so I will. They are all really nice people & I will miss them. I won't miss the job, just them.
I bumped into an old friend today who used to work with my husband in Melbourne. I got them both their jobs there as I used to work in an employment agency. We arranged to go out together (with our respective spouses) in a couple of months after I finish re-feed. His wife is lovely.
Good night from me for today folks, xo Cate.
What a day! I'm exhausted! A (our GS)& I shopped until we dropped. I've just put him to bed after deciding he could stay the night. He always jumps at the chance, which is delightful. He is such a sweety. He cuddles up on my lap & wants a back scratch. I had 2 dogs & A all curled up on & around me tonight on my recliner.
I scored a size 14 wool/cashmere, fully lined, mid-calf black coat for $5 in an op shop today so I'm not going to worry about trying to have my old coat adjusted. I'll get it dry-cleaned to spruce it up & it's in really good nick. It's the same quality as my old, size 22 one which cost me $200 & was thigh-length only. I couldn't believe my luck. I think I might get used to this op-shopping. I'm ok if the shop doesn't smell old & musty.
I bought thermal undies from Mountain Design, a great back-pack which will be useful for travel & for going bush-walking with the "Wacky Walkers" & a water bladder that fits into it. I also bought a Ray Charles CD, A "War sucks" badge, shoes for A, tried on some long, black Colorado boots which were a little bit small & they are going to order me some in (nice), dark chocolate for my husband, A's birthday present (it's in July), groceries......and left a bag behind in a shop.
When I got home my husband was on the phone as the shop owner had rung to ask me if I left a silk bag behind. I didn't even know that I had. Luckily I had joined a club to get discounts with them & they had my phone number (but didn't get my mobile #). From the contents they had worked out it was probably mine. Otherwise, I would have been ringing almost every shop in Dev't trying to find where I had left it (when I realised I was missing it!) Phew!
Then I had to try to think how the heck I was going to get the bag in the next couple of days without making an 80 km trip. A neighbour rang about an hour ago to ask if I want free-range eggs off her this week. I remembered she often goes to Dev't as she has a daughter that lives there so I asked her if she was going in the next couple of days. Wouldn't you know she is going there first thing in the morning & will pick the bag up for me. If I was a religious person I would say I am blessed.
I called in at work this morning & it was so good. I was given a birthday present & card from my team which they must have written on about the time of my birthday. The reception I got was just lovely- lots of hugs & kisses & what seemed to be genuine feelings of regret that I was leaving. I exchanged phone numbers with the ones I really wanted to keep in touch with & didn't feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. The boss of the company was there as well & she came up to me & said she hardly recognised me & said some lovely things. I have always got on very well with her. A lot of the staff seem frightened of her but I have never been. I think we are all equal. My immediate boss was also very nice & gave me a big hug & a kiss. I came away knowing I had done the right thing by everyone including myself. It was good to leave on such a positive note.
This morning I weighed myself AGAIN to get my 4 week weight & I was-
76kgs Hoo bloody ray!! I'm not weighing again until next week.
I'll update my ticker tomorrow I think as I don't know if my tired old brain would manage it tonight.
My present from work was lovely. I got a clock on a wrought iron stand, that has an antique French look about it. There is a very smart looking woman sitting down drinking a Martini. I really do like it. I also got a nice woollen scarf. I gathered that there was another present coming soon as well. My team are having a night out at the end of the month & want me to go along so I will. They are all really nice people & I will miss them. I won't miss the job, just them.
I bumped into an old friend today who used to work with my husband in Melbourne. I got them both their jobs there as I used to work in an employment agency. We arranged to go out together (with our respective spouses) in a couple of months after I finish re-feed. His wife is lovely.
Good night from me for today folks, xo Cate.
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Cate, it sounds like you had a great day, (we won't go into Annie's weekend ) and you have obviously made the right choice about work. Kick back and relax, take the time to care for #1 and everything tends to fall into place.
AND it sounds like a date folks, spring shopping for some lovely summer clothes .
Lauren
) and you have obviously made the right choice about work. Kick back and relax, take the time to care for #1 and everything tends to fall into place. AND it sounds like a date folks, spring shopping for some lovely summer clothes
. Lauren
Cate
Long term member
Great! You can head me in the right direction shopping-wise. Mind you I don't want to dress too young for my age (hate that) but I have never been to any of the DFO's & don't know if they are worth all the trudging around(assuming that you have to shop all day). I will be led by you two, Lauren & Annie! I will need bathers before summer. That is scary! A simple black one-piece I think. I HATE my legs. Perhaps the old head to toe might come back into fashion before summer (only kidding!)
I am pleased to report that my new look is starting to happen. The black boots, hopefully will complete the look. Smart black pants; black polo (or striped red/black/white polo); red, fitted jumper; long black wool/cashmere coat & black boots. I think the boots will be under the pants but may wear a dress or skirt occasionally (with warm tights) It's sort of the Emma Peel look. (once again only kidding!) I like the idea of simple but smart plain well-fitting clothes. I love the way French women of all ages can look so smart.
Meanwhile I'm getting around the house today in a bright pink humungous-sized polo jumper, with a black trim; black trackie dackies, Explorer socks & my ex-brother-in-laws blue slippers. Not a great look. It's an at-home day & it's absolutely freezing. I so much feel the cold these days. My eldest son came to pick up A & he was in a t-shirt. Brrrr. He just doesn't feel the cold at all, just like my husband. I wish!!
I thought I would pass on my measurements for anyone who is interested so will put them in a separate post so you can ignore easily if you wish. I had better get some wood in soon as my hubby did that yesterday as I was really exhausted from our shopping trip. He also cooked my dinner for me. That was after spending 8 hours at work. I don't want him trading me in on a new model!
Cheers for now, I might come back tonight briefly, (if that's at all possible for me) Cate
I am pleased to report that my new look is starting to happen. The black boots, hopefully will complete the look. Smart black pants; black polo (or striped red/black/white polo); red, fitted jumper; long black wool/cashmere coat & black boots. I think the boots will be under the pants but may wear a dress or skirt occasionally (with warm tights) It's sort of the Emma Peel look. (once again only kidding!) I like the idea of simple but smart plain well-fitting clothes. I love the way French women of all ages can look so smart.
Meanwhile I'm getting around the house today in a bright pink humungous-sized polo jumper, with a black trim; black trackie dackies, Explorer socks & my ex-brother-in-laws blue slippers. Not a great look. It's an at-home day & it's absolutely freezing. I so much feel the cold these days. My eldest son came to pick up A & he was in a t-shirt. Brrrr. He just doesn't feel the cold at all, just like my husband. I wish!!
I thought I would pass on my measurements for anyone who is interested so will put them in a separate post so you can ignore easily if you wish. I had better get some wood in soon as my hubby did that yesterday as I was really exhausted from our shopping trip. He also cooked my dinner for me. That was after spending 8 hours at work. I don't want him trading me in on a new model!
Cheers for now, I might come back tonight briefly, (if that's at all possible for me) Cate
Cate
Long term member
Weights & measurements start to wk 20(incl)
Started Cohen's 22/01/07. Weight 105kg.
Cohen's goal weight range 66-69kg. (36kg minimum! )
Measurements- these measurements are top of arm x2(A's), bust(B), waist(W), hips(H)(looking in mirror & choosing biggest spot), top of each thigh x2(T's) (with a freckle as my marker.) All in centimetres.
22/01/07 A's 80(40x2), B 117, W 115, H 133, T's 152(76x2) Total 597.
1st wk lost 18cm (6cm from Bust- )
2nd wk lost 13cm
3rd wk lost 8cm
4th wk lost 6cm(total cm lost 45)Weight 95kg(loss of 10kg
)
A 76(38x2), B 107, W 106, H 125,T's 138(69x2)
5th wk lost 5cm
6th wk lost 3cm
7th wk lost 5cm
8th wk lost 8cm (-21cm, -66cm total).Weight 91kg(-4kg,-14kg total)
A's 72 (36x2), B 105, W 102, H 120, T's 132(66x2).
9th wk lost 3cm
10th wk lost 2cm
11th wk lost 4cm
12th wk lost 3cm (-12, -78 total) Weight 86(-5,-19 total)
A 72 (36x2), B 104, W 100, H 117, T's 126 (63x2).
13th wk lost 2cm
14th wk lost 13 cm!! Lots from W & T's!
15th wk lost 2cm
16th wk lost 1cm only(-18, total-96) but weight 81kg (-5, total -24!)
A 70 (35x2), B 101, W 96, H 114, T's 120(60 x2)
17th wk lost 3cm
18th wk lost 5cm
19th wk lost 3cm
20th wk lost 2cm (-13, total -109) Weight 76!(-5 again, total -29!
)
A's 67.5 (33.75x2),B 101, W 94.5, H 110, T's 116(58x2)
I have probably made some mistakes along the way with my arithmetic & I won't have any more .5 measurements as that's ridiculous.I actually added .5 to my arm measurements just to even it out.
I have always been much bigger in the hips & legs, even when a fit, active teenager. I think when I first started out measuring I used to pull the tape measure really tight as it was too horrendous & now I loosen it up because it doesn't matter as much.
From now on I will give a weekly measurement & weight. I know I shouldn't weigh weekly but will anyway. I'm far from perfect & am getting just a little impatient! If anyone spots any mistakes please let me know & I'll correct them. Cheers Cate.
Started Cohen's 22/01/07. Weight 105kg.
Cohen's goal weight range 66-69kg. (36kg minimum!
)Measurements- these measurements are top of arm x2(A's), bust(B), waist(W), hips(H)(looking in mirror & choosing biggest spot), top of each thigh x2(T's) (with a freckle as my marker.) All in centimetres.
22/01/07 A's 80(40x2), B 117, W 115, H 133, T's 152(76x2) Total 597.
1st wk lost 18cm
(6cm from Bust- )2nd wk lost 13cm
3rd wk lost 8cm
4th wk lost 6cm(total cm lost 45)Weight 95kg(loss of 10kg
) A 76(38x2), B 107, W 106, H 125,T's 138(69x2)
5th wk lost 5cm
6th wk lost 3cm
7th wk lost 5cm
8th wk lost 8cm (-21cm, -66cm total).Weight 91kg(-4kg,-14kg total)
A's 72 (36x2), B 105, W 102, H 120, T's 132(66x2).
9th wk lost 3cm
10th wk lost 2cm
11th wk lost 4cm
12th wk lost 3cm (-12, -78 total) Weight 86(-5,-19 total)
A 72 (36x2), B 104, W 100, H 117, T's 126 (63x2).
13th wk lost 2cm
14th wk lost 13 cm!! Lots from W & T's!
15th wk lost 2cm
16th wk lost 1cm only(-18, total-96) but weight 81kg (-5, total -24!)
A 70 (35x2), B 101, W 96, H 114, T's 120(60 x2)
17th wk lost 3cm
18th wk lost 5cm
19th wk lost 3cm
20th wk lost 2cm (-13, total -109) Weight 76!(-5 again, total -29!
)A's 67.5 (33.75x2),B 101, W 94.5, H 110, T's 116(58x2)
I have probably made some mistakes along the way with my arithmetic & I won't have any more .5 measurements as that's ridiculous.I actually added .5 to my arm measurements just to even it out.
I have always been much bigger in the hips & legs, even when a fit, active teenager. I think when I first started out measuring I used to pull the tape measure really tight as it was too horrendous & now I loosen it up because it doesn't matter as much.
From now on I will give a weekly measurement & weight. I know I shouldn't weigh weekly but will anyway. I'm far from perfect & am getting just a little impatient! If anyone spots any mistakes please let me know & I'll correct them. Cheers Cate.
Hey Cate! Thanks SO MUCH for posting these measurements etc! They have been really helpful to see that in general your average loss is about 5kgs a month. This has been encouraging to me. If I lose 5 kgs a month it will take me longer than planned but still definitely achievable! How exciting to see the changes all written out like that!
You GO GIRL!!
Kath
You GO GIRL!!
Kath
Motivation needed
Hi Cate,
just logged on to read other fellow Cohen's people and Im glad I did as I am in need of motivation at the moment.
Lost 7kgs so far but my husband and I love to socialise and this past long weekend I ate and drank a few things not permitted and the yuckky thing is I need to go for my second blood test this Friday...Help!!!!
Oh well today is a new day. I find I need a real sugar fix in the afternoon.
How are you going?
C u Brendac
Hi Cate,
just logged on to read other fellow Cohen's people and Im glad I did as I am in need of motivation at the moment.
Lost 7kgs so far but my husband and I love to socialise and this past long weekend I ate and drank a few things not permitted and the yuckky thing is I need to go for my second blood test this Friday...Help!!!!
Oh well today is a new day. I find I need a real sugar fix in the afternoon.
How are you going?
C u Brendac
Cate
Long term member
Kath- You're welcome. You made me laugh! Exciting! I thought putting my measurements like that would bore the pants off everyone! I think it's easier if you break it up into little bits. I found it quite daunting at the start because of the amount I had to lose but mentally celebrated each milestone. Just being able to see myself shrinking or feeling clothes getting baggier & baggier helps along the way. Really try not to weigh too often but make sure you measure every week because that's where you see the difference, especially at the start.
Brendac- I think it's harder to find motivation if you deviate. I have read hundreds of posts & see that as a common reason for falling off the program or having lots of cravings. I made a decision from the start that I would not intentionally deviate. I really have not had cravings since the first few weeks. I read somewhere in the forum that the Blackmores Weight-loss support, Sugar Balance tablets can "help reduce cravings for sweet foods that may develop due to dieting or low blood sugar." (I'm quoting from the bottle) I bought some just in case but haven't needed them so far. I bought them at Woolworths but can't remember how much they were. Might be worth a try. I usually have an orange mid afternoon.
It was so cold this morning & the frost was thick. I had my hubby to cuddle up to though as he didn't have to start work until 10am.
I took my mother-in-law shopping & stocked up on delicious looking vegies. I might have to change my personal menu as I tend to eat the same thing every day at the moment. 1 egg omelette for breakfast, chicken soup for lunch & minced steak with onion, mushroom, cabbage, curry powder, ginger, cumin powder, ground coriander, salt, pepper & a dash of balsamic. I love it! I am finding that this combination of food works for me appetite wise and I also don't feel much like experimenting with my food. Hopefully re-feed won't be too far away & I will have to change then anyway.
Everywhere I go now I have people come up to me in the street commenting on how I look. Today someone asked me to go into a shop & introduce myself as the woman in the shop is considering going on the program. I'll do it next time I go into town I think. It will take a while & I had my hands full today (with my MIL).
I think I had better go & get some wood in now & maybe come back later as I think it's going to be even colder tonight. I'm glad it doesn't get as cold here as it does in the US. My sister used to live in Baltimore & one year I was there in Feb. I think & OMG was I cold. The wind could have frozen your face. The ground was so sludgy & slippery you could barely walk on the footpath (sidewalk). I hope my body adjusts to the cold. I have bought thermals so they should help.
I haven't told my hubby about buying my back pack yet. I have this funny little habit of putting things away & then bringing them out when I think the time is right. I did pay for it from my work money but I still have this funny thing about spending when I am no longer earning. I hope I get used to that as well. I am going to learn how to sell on ebay soon. My sister, Jen, used to use it all the time. She was addicted to it I think. I have bought 2 things on ebay just for fun & to get an idea about it.
A lovely girl from work (ex-work) sells a lot & she has given me her email address so that I can ask her questions about it. She also gave me some tips the other day when I called in. I will make sure that I keep in touch with some of the women I worked with because there are some that I really like.
My back is really killing me at the moment so I will go now & make that appointment!!
Cheers, Cate
Brendac- I think it's harder to find motivation if you deviate. I have read hundreds of posts & see that as a common reason for falling off the program or having lots of cravings. I made a decision from the start that I would not intentionally deviate. I really have not had cravings since the first few weeks. I read somewhere in the forum that the Blackmores Weight-loss support, Sugar Balance tablets can "help reduce cravings for sweet foods that may develop due to dieting or low blood sugar." (I'm quoting from the bottle) I bought some just in case but haven't needed them so far. I bought them at Woolworths but can't remember how much they were. Might be worth a try. I usually have an orange mid afternoon.
It was so cold this morning & the frost was thick. I had my hubby to cuddle up to though as he didn't have to start work until 10am.
I took my mother-in-law shopping & stocked up on delicious looking vegies. I might have to change my personal menu as I tend to eat the same thing every day at the moment. 1 egg omelette for breakfast, chicken soup for lunch & minced steak with onion, mushroom, cabbage, curry powder, ginger, cumin powder, ground coriander, salt, pepper & a dash of balsamic. I love it! I am finding that this combination of food works for me appetite wise and I also don't feel much like experimenting with my food. Hopefully re-feed won't be too far away & I will have to change then anyway.
Everywhere I go now I have people come up to me in the street commenting on how I look. Today someone asked me to go into a shop & introduce myself as the woman in the shop is considering going on the program. I'll do it next time I go into town I think. It will take a while & I had my hands full today (with my MIL).
I think I had better go & get some wood in now & maybe come back later as I think it's going to be even colder tonight. I'm glad it doesn't get as cold here as it does in the US. My sister used to live in Baltimore & one year I was there in Feb. I think & OMG was I cold. The wind could have frozen your face. The ground was so sludgy & slippery you could barely walk on the footpath (sidewalk). I hope my body adjusts to the cold. I have bought thermals so they should help.
I haven't told my hubby about buying my back pack yet. I have this funny little habit of putting things away & then bringing them out when I think the time is right. I did pay for it from my work money but I still have this funny thing about spending when I am no longer earning. I hope I get used to that as well. I am going to learn how to sell on ebay soon. My sister, Jen, used to use it all the time. She was addicted to it I think. I have bought 2 things on ebay just for fun & to get an idea about it.
A lovely girl from work (ex-work) sells a lot & she has given me her email address so that I can ask her questions about it. She also gave me some tips the other day when I called in. I will make sure that I keep in touch with some of the women I worked with because there are some that I really like.
My back is really killing me at the moment so I will go now & make that appointment!!
Cheers, Cate
Cate
Long term member
Lori Thank you. You are doing well yourself!
I feel a little miserable this evening & have been a bit anxious during the day. I wished I hadn't bought that back-pack as it's just not right. My husband hates shopping & often bags women who are compulsive shoppers. (It's not directed at me) I'll have to tell him as he will be with me when I want to take it back on Monday as we are travelling up the coast together.
I hate it when I make a bad choice or rely on sales assistants too much. I feel like I need a minder at the moment. I know I'm not 100% still as this has caused me a lot of anxiety today. Anxiety is not something that I am used to & I certainly don't like it.
I had a massage today & I'm aching badly. I needed a fairly hard massage as my vertebrae were out in my spine. I will have that relaxing massage in about 1 months time.
The hijacking once again of our "support thread" by negativity & arrogance has really upset me tonight. I had a look in earlier today & it put me off posting. I can see Mr Muscle isn't going to go away in a hurry so will have to try to ignore him. Interesting that Mr Deviation should stick his head back in again as well. He seems to love a stoush. I know I don't!
They have put me off for today so I think I will say good-night to everyone.
I'll be back tomorrow & will come straight to my diary,xo Cate
I feel a little miserable this evening & have been a bit anxious during the day. I wished I hadn't bought that back-pack as it's just not right. My husband hates shopping & often bags women who are compulsive shoppers. (It's not directed at me) I'll have to tell him as he will be with me when I want to take it back on Monday as we are travelling up the coast together.
I hate it when I make a bad choice or rely on sales assistants too much. I feel like I need a minder at the moment. I know I'm not 100% still as this has caused me a lot of anxiety today. Anxiety is not something that I am used to & I certainly don't like it.
I had a massage today & I'm aching badly. I needed a fairly hard massage as my vertebrae were out in my spine. I will have that relaxing massage in about 1 months time.
The hijacking once again of our "support thread" by negativity & arrogance has really upset me tonight. I had a look in earlier today & it put me off posting. I can see Mr Muscle isn't going to go away in a hurry so will have to try to ignore him. Interesting that Mr Deviation should stick his head back in again as well. He seems to love a stoush. I know I don't!
They have put me off for today so I think I will say good-night to everyone.
I'll be back tomorrow & will come straight to my diary,xo Cate
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Cate
Long term member
OMG- I just did a little bit of research. Mr Muscle is into bulking up. Ugh! I read a post where he lists all his gruesome sounding "exercises" & says his weight has increased from 191 to 197. Someone asked him if that was kgs or pounds & he answered "Pounds. I wish it were kilos." What the hell is he doing in our thread in this forum. I wish he'd go back to his own planet!
That's it. I'm never mentioning him or Mr Deviation again. I will ignore!
That's it. I'm never mentioning him or Mr Deviation again. I will ignore!
Cate,
I am sorry that you are having a tough day! I think your husband will be fine about the backpack, as he sounds so supportive and loving. Please try not to worry about that. I have problems with anxiety too (so I know how you feel) just remember for all the “bad choices” we make things almost always turn out fine. I couldn’t begin to tell you about all my bad choices, yet I still ended up with a great husband and three well mannered, kind children. When you feel anxious, think of all your successes, your children, the diet, and the fact you are a truly wonderful women.
As far as the hijacking, I posted a new message and hopefully everything will calm down. I am being optimistic that Tony is just trying to educate himself about different diet plans, if that isn’t true I can’t be bothered worrying about him and you shouldn’t either. We can all continue to support each other despite him. He will move on. We will stay strong, healthy and happy. Stay Well.
I am sorry that you are having a tough day! I think your husband will be fine about the backpack, as he sounds so supportive and loving. Please try not to worry about that. I have problems with anxiety too (so I know how you feel) just remember for all the “bad choices” we make things almost always turn out fine. I couldn’t begin to tell you about all my bad choices, yet I still ended up with a great husband and three well mannered, kind children. When you feel anxious, think of all your successes, your children, the diet, and the fact you are a truly wonderful women.
As far as the hijacking, I posted a new message and hopefully everything will calm down. I am being optimistic that Tony is just trying to educate himself about different diet plans, if that isn’t true I can’t be bothered worrying about him and you shouldn’t either. We can all continue to support each other despite him. He will move on. We will stay strong, healthy and happy. Stay Well.
Cate
Long term member
Lori- Thank you. I'm in need of a little bit of TLC at the moment & you have made me cry (but in a good way). I do feel really insecure, & anxious at the moment & kindness is so lovely & reassuring.
My husband knew I was having a bad day before he went to work at 3pm but didn't know why. I then had plenty of time to stew over everything, including Tony's posts & another bad shopping choice. When he got home at 11pm I was tucked up in bed but still awake as I was really aching so didn't talk then.
Today while I was washing dishes & he was cooking, the words just came out before I could change my mind. I started by saying that lately he has been really critical of women who are compulsive shoppers. I then told him about buying the back-pack & that it was the main reason for my anxiety because I had to tell him about it as I want to take it back & he will be with me & I didn't want him making me feel worse about it. I also said that I don't feel I am mentally up to making the correct choices & need him to go shopping with me when I need to purchase something.
He was fine, of course & asked me to get the bag out & we had a good look at it together. He thought it seemed like a really good pack & thinks it's big enough for day walks but I don't. I want to get a bag that will suit the day walks but also will be good for our next O/S trip & he does admit this would not be suitable. We have a small travel bag that he carries over his shoulder when we go anywhere. I always feel guilty about him carrying too much in it so want to get a multi-purpose bag that I can use bush-walking & on O/S trips.
I know that all this was nothing to get upset or anxious about but I just can't help it at the moment. I am also really sensitive to criticism & my self-confidence seems to have flown away on a holiday somewhere. I really hope this stage does not last long. Possibly it's that "M" word that I have refused to acknowledge, that happens to women in their 50's!!
I do have this blank canvas to work with but I don't think that is the issue. My feelings seem out of my control. I am still waiting for the counselling that my doctor requested. I am so stubborn about some things. Hormone Replacement Therapy is one of them. I am not going to have it. Sticking to Cohen's almost religiously is another!
My husband cooked this Chinese red-cooked beef today & the smell was tantalising. He was taking some to work for his work-mates & his "charges".
I never mind him cooking delicious things for himself. In fact I usually encourage him to. Today the smell was almost irresistable. He offered me a miniature taste, which he doesn't normally do & I crossed my fingers & said "no thank you." He laughed & I said that it has to be black & white for me or I would never succeed with the program. He is really proud of me & I must admit I am starting to feel a certain pride too. I have to make sure that I get slim & stay slim as I never, ever, want to be fat again.
I am really looking forward to going bush-walking. I know I'm still not ready to go yet until I have completed re-feed & also feel mentally stronger. My husband also thinks it's a great idea & one that he thinks will suit me. I want to be able to have my own interests & own friends.
He suggested ringing one of our neighbours, who I have discovered also goes walking with the "Wacky Walkers", occasionally, when she is not working & ask her what sort of bag she takes & what sort of stuff she takes when she goes. She lives very close by & I might see if I can visit her or ask her to drop in tomorrow. I have never visited their home or invited them to ours as they live really close. I worry about what might happen if you have a friendship with a neighbour & for some reason, it doesn't work out. I really don't know why I do this. I had better start taking notes for the counsellor. What am I scared of I wonder? ..Getting too close, getting hurt? I honestly don't know. I did this with the people I worked with to a certain extent. Since I left I have had such lovely messages & calls. Most of them didn't even know or notice that I did not like my job. A few seemed genuinely upset that I had left. I must admit I was really surprised at this.
OK. On a more positive note-
My lovely sister-in-law visited us this morning & I gave her my favourite, sized 22 cashmere coat (without offending her.) She adored it & said "are you sure?" & left wearing it, looking very happy. I love her dearly & she has had a rough trot. (I won't go there as it's her business.) I have started trying to talk her into going for a "pamper day" with me. She has never even had a massage so it's going to be a bit of a challenge. She is almost my age & never really treated herself. She has always put everyone else first. Sound familiar?
I am feeling fairly confident that another kg will have gone by Monday as I can usually feel when I have lost weight. It is amazing how attuned I am becoming to my body. Now if only my brain would catch up!
I do love Cohen's. I love my forum friends from all over the world. I love my family, my friends, my home, my little dogs.... I am going to ignore negativity in the "support" forum & by typing all of the above I am now feeling brave enough to go have a look.
If it's still negative I might not post or I might post briefly (yes it is possible!) but not mention any negativity. I will continue to post in here every day, regardless of how I feel, because it is really helping me to stick to the program.
Thank you forum "buddies." Your support is very important to me, xo Cate
My husband knew I was having a bad day before he went to work at 3pm but didn't know why. I then had plenty of time to stew over everything, including Tony's posts & another bad shopping choice. When he got home at 11pm I was tucked up in bed but still awake as I was really aching so didn't talk then.
Today while I was washing dishes & he was cooking, the words just came out before I could change my mind. I started by saying that lately he has been really critical of women who are compulsive shoppers. I then told him about buying the back-pack & that it was the main reason for my anxiety because I had to tell him about it as I want to take it back & he will be with me & I didn't want him making me feel worse about it. I also said that I don't feel I am mentally up to making the correct choices & need him to go shopping with me when I need to purchase something.
He was fine, of course & asked me to get the bag out & we had a good look at it together. He thought it seemed like a really good pack & thinks it's big enough for day walks but I don't. I want to get a bag that will suit the day walks but also will be good for our next O/S trip & he does admit this would not be suitable. We have a small travel bag that he carries over his shoulder when we go anywhere. I always feel guilty about him carrying too much in it so want to get a multi-purpose bag that I can use bush-walking & on O/S trips.
I know that all this was nothing to get upset or anxious about but I just can't help it at the moment. I am also really sensitive to criticism & my self-confidence seems to have flown away on a holiday somewhere. I really hope this stage does not last long. Possibly it's that "M" word that I have refused to acknowledge, that happens to women in their 50's!!
I do have this blank canvas to work with but I don't think that is the issue. My feelings seem out of my control. I am still waiting for the counselling that my doctor requested. I am so stubborn about some things. Hormone Replacement Therapy is one of them. I am not going to have it. Sticking to Cohen's almost religiously is another!
My husband cooked this Chinese red-cooked beef today & the smell was tantalising. He was taking some to work for his work-mates & his "charges".
I never mind him cooking delicious things for himself. In fact I usually encourage him to. Today the smell was almost irresistable. He offered me a miniature taste, which he doesn't normally do & I crossed my fingers & said "no thank you." He laughed & I said that it has to be black & white for me or I would never succeed with the program. He is really proud of me & I must admit I am starting to feel a certain pride too. I have to make sure that I get slim & stay slim as I never, ever, want to be fat again.
I am really looking forward to going bush-walking. I know I'm still not ready to go yet until I have completed re-feed & also feel mentally stronger. My husband also thinks it's a great idea & one that he thinks will suit me. I want to be able to have my own interests & own friends.
He suggested ringing one of our neighbours, who I have discovered also goes walking with the "Wacky Walkers", occasionally, when she is not working & ask her what sort of bag she takes & what sort of stuff she takes when she goes. She lives very close by & I might see if I can visit her or ask her to drop in tomorrow. I have never visited their home or invited them to ours as they live really close. I worry about what might happen if you have a friendship with a neighbour & for some reason, it doesn't work out. I really don't know why I do this. I had better start taking notes for the counsellor. What am I scared of I wonder? ..Getting too close, getting hurt? I honestly don't know. I did this with the people I worked with to a certain extent. Since I left I have had such lovely messages & calls. Most of them didn't even know or notice that I did not like my job. A few seemed genuinely upset that I had left. I must admit I was really surprised at this.
OK. On a more positive note-
My lovely sister-in-law visited us this morning & I gave her my favourite, sized 22 cashmere coat (without offending her.) She adored it & said "are you sure?" & left wearing it, looking very happy. I love her dearly & she has had a rough trot. (I won't go there as it's her business.) I have started trying to talk her into going for a "pamper day" with me. She has never even had a massage so it's going to be a bit of a challenge. She is almost my age & never really treated herself. She has always put everyone else first. Sound familiar?
I am feeling fairly confident that another kg will have gone by Monday as I can usually feel when I have lost weight. It is amazing how attuned I am becoming to my body. Now if only my brain would catch up!
I do love Cohen's. I love my forum friends from all over the world. I love my family, my friends, my home, my little dogs.... I am going to ignore negativity in the "support" forum & by typing all of the above I am now feeling brave enough to go have a look.
If it's still negative I might not post or I might post briefly (yes it is possible!) but not mention any negativity. I will continue to post in here every day, regardless of how I feel, because it is really helping me to stick to the program.
Thank you forum "buddies." Your support is very important to me, xo Cate